Return to Romance
by Nenya85
Summary: It was the happy ending nobody had expected – especially Yami. He knew he should be grateful but living had never been part of his game plan before. Then Kaiba decides it's time to repay his debts. But rivalry and obligation don't quite add up to friendship, much less romance. Prideshipping.
1. Easy Living

**RETURN TO ROMANCE**

**SUMMARY:** It was the happy ending nobody had expected – especially Yami. He knew he should be grateful but living had never been part of his game plan before. Then Kaiba decides it's time to repay his debts. But rivalry and obligation don't quite add up to friendship, much less romance.

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! I do admire Kazuki Takahashi for his skill in creating such vibrant characters and for his generosity in allowing the rest of us to borrow them for a few adventures of our own.

**THE TIMELINE:** The ceremonial duel does not exist in this story. Instead, it begins immediately after Zorc's defeat and branches off in its own direction. The story also doesn't refer back to the Ancient Egypt/Memory World arc except to note that it happened. The opening of the story also includes Ishizu and Mokuba who were not present at Zorc's defeat in either the subtitled or dubbed version of the anime (and manga).

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I use the manga version of events, where possible, but I also lean on the subtitled anime versions of the filler arcs like the Noa's Arc, Virtual World, DOMA, and Grand Prix episodes, simply because they have a lot of the Kaiba brothers and I like them. When necessary, I'll put in a Manga or Anime Note explaining plot or character differences from the 4Kids dubbed version. In this chapter, I was influenced by both the dub and the subtitled anime versions of the aftermath of their victory over Zorc. I'll explain why in the author's note at the end.

**In the book, 'Dune,' there's a saying of the Bene Gesserit: "Beginnings are such delicate times." I think that's true for stories as well as people, so I'd love to know what you think of this beginning. Please read and review.**

* * *

**AUTHOR CHOOSES NOT TO WARN**

* * *

**.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

**EASY LIVING:** Screwball comedy, circa 1939. Jean Arthur plays a Depression-era secretary who has a valuable sable coat literally dumped on her head. While most people (especially in a much less animal cruelty conscious time) would consider this an unbelievable stroke of luck, she quickly discovers that not all changes are desirable. (Hint: when a woman in the 1930s suddenly starts flashing fur, a lot of people are going to assume that she's switched to a much older profession than secretarial science.)

_MORAL: Having a miracle thrown in your face takes some getting used to._

* * *

None of it had been planned. Atem and Kaiba were both brilliant strategists. But it never occurred to them that the same kind of care needed to be taken in matters of the heart. That was a thought which only occurred much later, when they were in a relationship that neither had meant to begin at all, a relationship that upended all of the pharaoh's ideas of destiny and Kaiba's convictions of the rationality of his own actions. Of course, it could be argued that Yami's ideas of destiny were due for a shake-up, and Kaiba's actions were never as rational as he liked to believe…

But here, at the beginning, all they knew was that Zorc was gone. They'd defeated him. He'd taken the entire memory world with him as he vanished. Atem was left in the middle of a desert, marooned 3,000 years from the time when he'd ruled. His friends stood beside him, yet he felt as empty as the surrounding sands. He glanced at his partner; Yugi's stunned face mirrored his own. Ishizu smiled at him. He wished that she could still read the future, but that gift was gone. Atem turned from his friends to stare at the horizon.

"What do I do now?" he whispered.

As if in answer, a light grew in front of him. He raised an arm to shield his face as it coalesced into a grander-than-life being. He could hear Yugi gasp behind him. Horakhty had reappeared. The sun-bright goddess hovered silently above them, her gilded silver wings dripping towards the earth. It hurt to look at her; it was impossible to look away. Her golden face was sad as she looked down on the pharaoh's upturned one.

"Your task has ended. Your business in this time is over. Your place is in the afterlife," Horakhty said gently.

"Thank you." Atem had felt frozen since Zorc had fallen. Now he could move. She had given him a direction.

"Why are you listening to a giant ball of light? You do realize she's here only because a big bag of crazy like Pegasus stuck her ass on a card?" Kaiba broke in.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Yugi asked, for once interrupting Kaiba in mid-rant.

"Yeah, this whole after-life thing doesn't sound so good," Jounouchi added.

"I want to be where I belong," Atem said. He looked around as if he expected to see a doorway appear in front of him.

Behind Horakhty, the stone tablet they all remembered from the museum in Domino rose from the sands to tower above them, enveloping them in its shadow. Six of the seven millenium items gleamed from their places in the monolith. The seventh still hung from Atem's neck. The three God Cards stared down at them, as if they'd never been used to summon Horakhty and defeat Zorc, as though the cards themselves were waiting for an outcome that had yet to be decided.

"It will not be easy." Horakhty warned. "You must win a ceremonial duel with your partner. Only then will the doors to the afterlife open." Horakhty looked over their heads across the sands. Atem suspected she was looking across time itself.

Kaiba opened his mouth to argue again, but closed it at the mention of the word, "duel."

"Partner," Atem said, looking at Yugi.

"Anything you need… just as long as you're certain," Yugi promised.

Atem nodded. "It's fitting that a duel will decide where I am destined to go."

"That won't be necessary." The voice that broke into their conversation was cold and implacable.

Everyone turned around. The newcomer had appeared so silently that no one had noticed he was in their midst until he'd spoken... and then it had been equally hard to imagine how they'd missed his arrival. He was impossibly tall, as tall as Zorc had been (if much more human in appearance), and solidly built. He was clothed in a robe that left his massive chest and most of his legs bare.

"Oh no, not another weird Egyptian guy!" Jounouchi muttered.

"Certainly _not_ Egyptian. Greek or possibly Roman, you moron," said Kaiba, eyeing the tight, black curls in the stylized beard and hair.

"Either will do," the newcomer said, still in the same impersonally cold voice. He turned to Horakhty. "Death is the fate of all mortals. You have allowed this one to escape for 3,000 years. You should have taken him when your gods held undisputed sway over this land. But when Rome conquered these lands, I gained a foothold here too. Now that your pharaoh is finally walking the earth once more, I have come to claim him and take him to Tartarus."

Horakhty inclined her head. "You were worshiped on this soil, once. You have the right to be heard."

"The hell he does! No way we're letting you drag our friend off somewhere! You'll have to go through us to get to him!" Jounouchi yelled.

"And you think that will be a problem for the god of the underworld?"

"Hades?" Yugi asked, trying to remember what he'd learned of Greek mythology in school.

"Since Pluto was the god worshipped here, that would be the more accurate name for me on this soil."

"Just what we needed, an outdated deity convention," Kaiba muttered.

"Well, whatever your name is, you won't be the first god we've defeated!" Jounouchi announced. He stood with his legs planted shoulder-width apart as if preparing for a street brawl. His hands curled into fists.

"Atem is our friend. He deserves the right to go home – if that's what he wants," Yugi said, coming to stand next to his partner.

"I accept," Pluto said.

"Accept what?" Yugi asked, stepping even closer to Atem.

"Your challenge – as soon as you get around to figuring out what you're challenging me to and what the stakes are. It doesn't matter. There is no game I can't master."

Kaiba laughed. "What is it with gods and megalomania?"

Pluto glanced at Kaiba out of the corner of his eye. "It's not only gods that have that failing. But how could it be otherwise? Life is a game. Death is the whistle that announces its end. As an impertinent human once said, everything from cards or chess to the blood-soaked wars of the human race is a game."

"Wow… you have to be seriously creepy to come up with a line like that," Honda muttered.

Kaiba nodded to Pluto. "Thank you. But if you're quoting me, you should remember everything I said. The gods give us a single meaningless chip called our lives to play with. I'm ready to put mine on the table." He gestured towards Atem. "My life if you win – his freedom when you lose. You asked for stakes – those are mine."

Atem had been silent, as if the events unfolding had nothing to do with him. At Kaiba's words he came forward and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I've never let anyone fight my battles for me, yet!"

Yugi stepped forward again and put his hand on Atem's shoulder. He smiled as his partner turned to look at him. "I'm glad that before we have to duel each other, we've been given a chance to fight one last battle side by side."

"Count me in too! Get ready to go down, big guy!" Jounouchi yelled. Behind him, Honda, Anzu and Mokuba nodded.

"So you are all agreed?" Pluto asked. He smirked as seven heads nodded.

"Terms have been proposed and accepted. The court of the gods will accept this contest as a fair one. We will not interfere with the results," Horakhty said.

"Oh shit… what do we do now? I don't think gods play Duel Monsters and there's nothing else we're good at," Jounouchi said.

"Speak for yourself, mutt," Kaiba muttered.

"I don't think throwing money at Mr. Big and Gloomy over there is going to help."

"Since he left the challenge up to us, it makes sense to go with our strongest hand. If he doesn't know how to play Duel Monsters, that's his problem, not ours," Kaiba observed.

Pluto laughed; the force of his mirth made the sand fly up around them. They covered their eyes until the noise – and winds – died down.

"Do you consider seven to be your lucky number?"

"Seven? Learn how to count. There are four of us." Kaiba sounded slightly bored.

"Four of you agreed to duel. Seven agreed to be bound by the outcome."

"What?" Kaiba turned to stare at Mokuba, then glared back at Pluto. He took a few steps forward. "Nobody threatens my brother!"

"From what I've observed, everyone threatens your brother. It's practically a sport in your world."

"I should have clarified – nobody threatens my brother and lives," Kaiba hissed.

"It's a good thing I'm immortal," Pluto replied.

"Duel Monsters it is, then," Kaiba snapped. He drew in a breath, straightened his shoulders and walked forward to negotiate the details of a four-on-one match. By the time he reached Pluto, his face was as calm and unrevealing as if it was an ordinary business meeting.

Atem knew he was fighting for his life, but he felt curiously distanced from the process. A few moments earlier he'd been ready to duel Yugi as a prelude to leaving this world. It made it hard to regard the projected match as anything but an unnecessary and annoying delay.

Kaiba's angry voice drifted back to them. Atem broke out of his trance long enough to smile at the way Kaiba was driving the hardest bargain he could as if Pluto was just one more opponent to bulldoze, before dropping his gaze to study the ground once again.

Kaiba finally finished, bowed, and headed back to rejoin the others. He frowned as he surveyed them. Jounouchi was goggling like a fish out of water. Yugi had moved closer to Atem and was looking to him for guidance. That was pretty much status quo, in Kaiba's opinion. But Atem was equally adrift – and that was unacceptable.

Kaiba felt something catch in its throat. He'd had only had two rivals in his life: Gozaburo and Atem. Kaiba had beaten the first. He wasn't about to surrender the second. He'd pictured defeating Atem often. But in all his imagined triumphs, Atem had never looked lost. Instead, he'd hungered for battle, for revenge. He'd been more focused on Kaiba than ever before, finally truly sharing Kaiba's obsessive need to win, wanting to prove himself to Kaiba as badly as Kaiba did to him.

In Kaiba's fantasies, Atem hadn't looked beaten, he hadn't looked broken. Most of all he hadn't looked like Gozaburo in the moment before he had jumped from the Kaiba Corporation tower.

Kaiba frowned. This was no way to start a duel. He'd just zoned out and his partners were still staring cluelessly at Pluto.

"Focus, you idiots! There's an obsolete god in front of us threatening to kill Mokuba if we lose!" he snapped.

"Uh, he's going to destroy the rest of us along with your brother," Jounouchi reminded Kaiba, but he finally started sorting through his cards. Yugi laughed and did the same.

"Whether this is the duel you wanted or not, don't you dare tell me you're going to give up," Kaiba said quietly to Atem.

"Never," Atem answered through gritted teeth.

Kaiba scowl deepened until it looked as if he was the god of the underworld, not Pluto. For lack of a better word, the three duelists standing next to him were his partners. Kaiba knew more than he wanted to about Jounouchi's crappy, luck-driven deck. And as for Yugi and Atem… Kaiba wasn't sure how many decks they had between them at the moment – one or two. A flash of light caught his eye. Mokuba was waving his briefcase. He smiled as Kaiba turned to look at him and pointed to it. Kaiba nodded. Mokuba was as quick on the uptake as always. It was almost enough to put Kaiba in a good mood, despite the upcoming duel and the prospect of letting the mutt paw his cards.

"Here," Yugi said, holding out a deck to Atem.

"I couldn't… that's your deck, not mine…" Atem began.

"Yes, you can." Yugi pressed the deck into Atem's hand. "If you can imagine anyone else holding the Black Magician, all I can say is that I can't! They're your friends. They need to be with you." Yugi blushed. "I made a new deck of my own, anyway."

Atem's hand closed around the deck. "You are truly ready to stand on your own, without me."

"Maybe. But I'm glad we have a little longer to stand together, instead."

"If there are any other cards you need…" Kaiba said sourly. Mokuba opened the briefcase, grinning wildly.

They stared in shock at the contents. Kaiba had once boasted of owning 10,000 cards. They couldn't help wondering how many of them were in the briefcase.

"Oh wow! You're letting us borrow your cards? Thanks, Kaiba." Jounouchi grinned. "Be careful though, someone might think you have a heart."

"Don't nauseate me. Given the unfortunate necessity of us working together, it makes sense to augment your pathetic deck. Don't get too attached to them and try not to drool. I'll be taking them back afterwards and I'd hate to have to clean off water marks."

"At least I've never ripped one up while throwing a tantrum, moneybags."

"If you don't want them, just say so," Kaiba taunted.

"No take-backs, rich boy," Jounouchi said as he rummaged through the briefcase.

At last they were ready. Yugi looked at Atem and smiled impishly. Kaiba thought it made Yugi look even more juvenile than usual, something he'd previous assumed was impossible.

Pluto waved a hand. The three God Cards floated out of their place in the stone tablet, to hover in the air in front of him. They were soon joined by a horde of cards. No one wanted to ask how Pluto had conjured them.

"You let him use the God Cards? Some hotshot negotiator you are! I'm surprised that Kaiba Corporation is still in business if that's the best you can do," Jounouchi protested.

"I had to give him something," Kaiba said calmly. "We each got to keep our decks at full strength and coordinate our attacks. He'll be facing 160 cards, we'll be only facing 80."

"But God Cards..." Yugi began.

"Can be beaten," Kaiba finished. "We've done it, before. Are we supposed to roll over because someone waves a couple of cards in our faces and gives them a fancy name? 'God' is just another word." Kaiba pressed his lips together and stared at the point far in the distance where the sand met the sky.

Atem's head swiveled to watch Kaiba's. A rougher, rawer note had entered the other man's voice. Even Pluto's arrival had failed to pierce Atem's calm disinterest in the surroundings he was planning to leave forever. Now once again, he found his attention drawn back to the present, curious to hear what Kaiba had to say.

"Weakness or strength… how we live, what we make of ourselves… it's our choice, not any god's. Anything can be beaten," Kaiba finished.

"Even destiny?" Atem asked.

"I don't believe in destiny. But if it exists, I'm not just going to defeat it, I'm going to trample it into the sand beneath my feet. I refuse to give in to any other possibility."

"We'll see which is stronger." Atem's whisper was so soft, it was hard to tell if he'd actually spoken or if the wind had whistled a little more loudly.

"Well then," Yugi said with his slight, shy smile, "I guess it's time to duel."

Kaiba watched the opening rounds carefully. He'd expected Jounouchi to be flustered, to react too impulsively – and both had turned out to be true. He'd expected the duel, in its familiarity, to steady Atem, and that had been borne out as well. Atem had opened his habitual long game, whittling down Pluto's life points in his usual tediously slow way. The commanding tones were back in Atem's voice, lacing through each sanctimonious speech. Kaiba permitted himself a small smile.

Yugi was the surprise.

He'd started by playing satisfactorily, if not spectacularly – neither an asset nor a liability.

"If the game is always this uneventful, I'm surprised it's become so popular," Pluto commented.

"It's only boring to those too mediocre to find strategy interesting," Kaiba snarled. God or not, he didn't permit anyone to insult his game.

Yugi looked up at Pluto suspiciously. He could almost feel Pluto's deck humming. Yugi glanced at Atem, who nodded back in confirmation. Yugi pressed his lips together, placed a card face down and ended his turn.

"You feel it don't you?" Pluto asked him.

Yugi swallowed and nodded. His cherubic face hardened into unfamiliar lines.

"Your God Cards answer to me. One of them is about to join us on my command."

Slifer the Sky Dragon flashed across the sky. The sight was both familiar and fresh to the watching duelists. They'd seen Slifer slide through the air like an eel slicing through water before, but it had proven impossible to hold a true memory of his power and grace in their minds. But Slifer was as deadly as he was beautiful. He tore through their monsters one after the other, leaving a trail of graveyard dust in his wake.

Pluto laughed as the turn came around to Yugi again. Yugi had only two cards in front of him; both were face down. He turned his monster card face up. Belial, Marques of Darkness rose from the sands, to tower above them. He was a study in black and white; his height emphasized by ebony wings that trailed to the ground, his head crowned with a halo that seemed to hold the darkness of a moonless night. His white hair and cloak flowed behind him, whipping in the wind. He drew a black sword that glimmered with silver highlights. Yugi summoned the Celtic Guardian to stand beside him, a forest sprite in shades of brown and green. Both were fantasy creatures, but they seemed to have sprung from different stories. Mysterious as the night and familiar as green leaves returning in springtime… they were as different and as connected as Atem and Yugi themselves.

Kaiba frowned. Neither creature would be able to stand against Slifer. He'd wondered how Yugi would rank as a duelist without Atem to rely on. There was an unexpected satisfaction in the thought that Yugi didn't measure up.

Pluto looked from the Celtic Guardian to Belial, who was hovering behind the elf, as protective as an older brother. Pluto laughed. It was a sound the beginnings of an earthquake might make, if given a voice, as it rumbled deep beneath the surface of the Earth.

"You must realize that Belial's effect is useless before my god. I choose what order to destroy your monsters, and just to drive that point home, I'll start with your elf. Prepare to say goodbye to your remaining life points this turn."

Yugi didn't answer. His slight smile was too faint for Pluto to notice. Yugi waited for Slifer's attack to turn over his remaining face down card: Gift of Final Effort, transferring the battle damage caused by Slifer's attack on the Celtic Guardian to Belial's attack points, increasing them by the same amount.

Slifer automatically moved to attack Belial, forced to assail all new monsters facing him, no matter how hopeless the fight. Yugi's move had raised Belial's strength high enough to defeat even a god. Slifer disappeared as quickly and as gracefully as he'd arrived.

"That was an interesting move," Pluto said as his monster vanished.

"You seem pretty calm for someone who's just lost one of his most powerful monsters," Kaiba observed.

"That's because you have no concept of immortality. You taunted me with becoming obsolete, but my realm is eternal, my subjects are mine forever. Human lives are so brief, like rain drops on an endless sea. But watching how the pattern they make as they fall changes the ocean's surface, watching them ripple and grow before they flicker into nothingness... witnessing those fleeting moments is a blessing, even to a god."

"You're welcome, I guess," Yugi said.

"_You_ are capable of learning and adapting. Your partner, for all he looks like you, is incapable of either. You're fighting a battle you've already lost. He belongs with the dead."

"You have no right to say that! Everything you think I've learned… to hold my own, to believe in myself… I've learned because of him! And Atem's grown more in the two years I've known him than you probably have in a thousand years!"

"You better listen to Yugi," Jounouchi warned.

"I suggest you save your boasts – and your platitudes – for your victory," Atem said coldly.

Kaiba remained silent. Atem was standing as proudly as ever in the face of a clear opponent, but Kaiba couldn't help wondering if Pluto was right. Did the fire that had been rekindled in Atem's voice still run all the way through to his core? Or was it an after-image that remained when everything real had turned to ash?

Kaiba turned his attention back to the game, wincing as Jounouchi played yet another of his gambling cards. Barrel Dragon was as ungainly as was possible for a dragon; a laser cannon rose from his open neck in place of a head. For once, Jounouchi won the coin toss, whittling Pluto's cards still further.

But Atem could sense the next God Card in Pluto's deck, could hear it thumping as loud as a heartbeat, rising closer to the top with each turn.

Next to him, Kaiba stirred and Atem knew that his rival felt it too. Kaiba smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. "Do you know what I think gods are?" Kaiba asked. His light, conversational tone was belied by the manic gleam in his eyes. "Power, pure and simple. It could be the power of belief, it could be more elemental. But it's there. I can feel it pulsing in your deck, throbbing like a toothache. It's Obelisk. I can feel him." Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. "He may be in your deck, but I'm the one who will dismiss him before you've even had the chance to put him in play. You're pretty quick to talk about power… well, that's power, too. It's not just for gods anymore."

Kaiba discarded his monsters to call Iron Chain Dragon to the field. All the shades of a new day dawning were in the dragon's hide. Blue, silver and gold flashed with each beat of his mighty wings. Even his chains were adornments, not fetters. Atem stared at the card and then at the man who had summoned him. It was the perfect card for Kaiba, who'd willingly donned so many responsibilities in his short life: to his brother, to tame his adoptive father's corporation. Kaiba would have scoffed at the thought the card held any deeper meaning that its attack points and effects, but the truth was that Iron Chain Dragon suited him.

With a start Atem realized that he'd put an Iron Chain Dragon in his deck as well. Now, it was hard to understand why. Once again, he and Kaiba were standing on opposite sides of a mirror, each struggling to see past their own reflection. Where Kaiba had eagerly taken on each bond, and then had held onto them with every iota of his fierce will, Atem was dissolving the ties that held him to this world and to Yugi. Each of Yugi's confident moves in this game was a further proof of the rightness of Atem's decision, each monster Yugi dispatched was one more demonstration that he was ready to live without the man he'd once called his other self.

"What decorative chains. How well you wear them, mortal," Pluto sneered.

"Grow up! The only bonds that tie me are the ones I have chosen! And no god has the power to change that."

Kaiba gestured to his dragon with a flourish of his hand. The dragon raised his head, then leaned towards Pluto's deck. His fiery breath burned the top three cards to ash,

Atem stared at Kaiba. Was Kaiba's answer his as well?

"Yeah! Two down and one to go!" Jounouchi yelled, reaching eagerly for his next monster.

Even Kaiba had to admit, Jounouchi's cards had a point – each gamble he won whittled Pluto's life points down a little further. Yugi and his friends breathed a little easier. Even if Pluto managed to summon Ra, the god no longer had the necessary life points left to make the dragon the unstoppable force they'd seen at Battle City.

Atem could feel the Winged Dragon waiting in Pluto's deck, could feel when he was sent to the graveyard in tribute. He smiled. It seemed a fitting for Pluto to try and draw power from the dead. Atem placed a card face down and waited through the next two turns for Pluto to draw Monster Reborn. He turned his trap card over before Pluto had finished his summons.

"I'm ready to fulfill my destiny, to leave this world. But it will be to the after-life of my choosing, not yours!" Atem said.

Kaiba frowned and looked away. In a way, it was good to have a duel to focus on. For once, Kaiba didn't want to think of the future… of the moment when Atem would turn his back and leave them.

In answer to Atem's summons, Call of the Grave's fanged and mummified monster rose up laughing. Its talons ripped Monster Reborn apart. Ra was not fated to live again. Atem smiled. Soon he'd be leaving as well. It was time. The cards agreed: the fitting destination for life was the graveyard – and even a god couldn't change that truth.

The next card finished the duel. They'd won. The monsters disappeared, leaving all of them – even Kaiba – staring stupidly at each other.

"Well played," Pluto observed.

"That's it?" Yugi asked, more stunned by Pluto's matter of fact tone than by their victory.

"Gods exist to test humans. You have proven yourselves. Enjoy your borrowed time. I can wait. Sooner or later some underworld will claim all of you for its own. Everything mortal must die."

Pluto disappeared as silently as he arrived; the dividing line between present and absent as thin and as final as the one between life and death. Yugi looked at the empty sands and shivered.

"Come, partner," Atem said. "It's time for our ceremonial duel." He looked around but Horakhty and the panel that had held six of the seven Millennium Items had disappeared. Atem turned to Ishizu.

"That way is closed," she said.

"What? How? Horakhty said that it was my fate!"

"The stakes in the duel you just fought were clear: we were fighting for your life. The agreement was binding, even on our own gods. You won a lifetime – but you lost your destiny in the winning. Fate no longer has a part to play in your actions."

"Welcome to the club," Kaiba snorted.

"You mean…" Yugi started to say; his smile threatened to split his face in half.

"The pharaoh is free to live his life as he chooses."

Atem was engulfed in a swirling, cheering, chest-bumping mass. Only Kaiba, Mokuba and Ishizu stood to the side, and Mokuba looked as though he would have joined in, if only he knew how. Kaiba's eyes remained fixed on his rival's face. It was the only solemn one in the crowd.

"I don't understand," Atem said when it was quiet enough to be heard.

"Who cares how it happened? You're alive!" Jounouchi shouted, pounding him on the back again.

"But my fate was to end my existence in this world."

"Do you need a god to slit your wrists for you?" Kaiba asked. Everyone turned to stare at him. "You self-righteous hypocrite!" Kaiba thundered. "You don't need a god to kill yourself. Poison, guns, jumping out of windows… there's plenty of ways to escape living. This is the second time I've picked a rival and if you prove yourself just as big a coward as he did…"

"Of course that wasn't what he meant!" Anzu said angrily.

"This is great news, partner," Yugi said quickly, but his voice betrayed him, rising at the last moment, turning his sentence into a question. "It's wonderful! You deserve the chance to live your own life at last," he said, forcing some firmness into his voice. Yugi continued talking in the face of his other half's failure to react. "Just think of everything that's ahead of you, all the things you can do now…Atem…"

Kaiba's snort stopped Yugi's well-meaning babble in its track, finally forcing a reaction from Atem. He turned to Yugi and said quietly, "You're right. It's wonderful, partner. I was too stunned to react."

Kaiba glanced from one to the other, trying to decide whose smile was the greater travesty.

Honda looked at Atem and frowned. He was more comfortable watching and thinking than talking – and he couldn't help but notice that Atem looked as though he'd been hit over the head with a very large mallet and was waiting for the effect to wear off.

"I don't know…" he whispered to Jounouchi. "He doesn't look happy."

Jounouchi stared at his friend, then shook himself, like a dog shedding water. "You're worrying over nothing. Of course he's happy! It's a lot to take in. He probably needs a distraction... and I know just how to make him laugh…. Hey, Kaiba," he called, "now will you finally admit that we were right? There really are two of them. Unless you're stupid and stubborn enough to insist that we set up this all up to trick you."

"As if your idiot brigade could come up with anything this sophisticated. That would be harder to believe than any amount of mystical mumbo jumbo."

"Hah! So you do admit it. We were right and you were wrong!"

Kaiba smirked. "It's also possible that I've hung around you dweebs for so long that your combined imbecility has finally made me snap and I've started hallucinating."

With the ease of long practice, Anzu ignored the boys' squabble. She knew the other Yugi's name was Atem; she had carved it on the cartouche hanging around his neck, she had been calling him that the whole time they'd been in the Memory World. But now that they were home – or almost home at any rate – it suddenly seemed strange.

"Atem?" she asked, making the name into a question, just as Yugi had done.

He shook his head. "That was the name from my past. It's gone now." With a swift motion he yanked the cartouche from his neck and dropped it in the sand. "It served its purpose. It brought us here. I had hoped… had thought to carry it with me when I rejoined my companions from the past, but that chance is gone now. Let my name stay buried with them."

"Names are over-rated. It's what you make of them that counts," Kaiba said.

"Well we can't just say, 'hey, you!' every time we want to get your attention," Jounouchi argued.

"That won't be necessary. You've called me Yugi's Darkness, Yami no Yugi, since I arrived in Domino. It's still fitting. I feel like I was born into this world out of shadows.

"Isn't that the way everyone gets born into it?" Kaiba said, rolling his eyes.

.

* * *

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for agreeing to beta this story. I can't begin to express how much I appreciate it!**_

**ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:** I always look forward to is getting to thank my friends at the start of each story. Bnomiko is the first person to mention in any acknowledgment, because I honestly can't imagine I'd still be writing and posting without her. I'd also like to thank Splintered Star for talking, and listening and sometimes arguing all things Kaiba. And as always, a special hello to Kagemihari. Although I'm over a month behind schedule, I'd like to wish everyone a Happy New Year.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** In the subtitled anime, once Zorc's defeated, there's something that seems so lost about Atem. I have to admit that the music totally cheats because the score has the saddest instrumentals possible, but it really seems like from the moment Atem recovers his name and defeats Zorc he gives up on living in this world himself. In the dub version, after Zorc is defeated, Anzu asks Atem what he's going to do, and he answers that he doesn't know. When Horakhty appears and tells him to go to the after-life it almost feels like he's relieved that, once again, he has a mission. I think the thing that gets me about this is that the memory world isn't even real – it's a game constructed for the final battle.

The sense that Atem goes to the after-life on automatic pilot is something that's stuck with me from the ending of the series. I once wrote a story, "The Newly Revised Book of the Dead," that looked at what might happen the moment after he made that decision and what questions might come up. Then, years later it occurred to me that the opposite was just as interesting to explore: what if Yami had gotten stuck in our world without ever stopping to ask if that was what he wanted… what if it felt, not like a miraculous second chance, but like the loss of his destiny and his last mission? I also wanted to write a story about a Yami and a Kaiba who had both been shaken off their balance and watch them figure out where they go from there. This story is the result. I hope you enjoy it.

**Pluto Note:** Hades/Pluto comes across in myths as grim but fair, the kind of god who tests mortals, but is prepared to live with the results. I have to admit though, that I gave him a sense of humor that owes more to Disney's Hercules than to Greek or Roman mythology.

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal. The link is on my biopage.

_I really appreciate comments. They help me figure out what's working and what isn't, and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. Please review._


	2. Romantic Movie Cliche 1: The Trip

**CHAPTER 2: ROMANTIC COMEDY CLICHÉ #1 - THE TRIP**

**ROMANTIC COMEDY CLICHÉ #1: THE TRIP**: It's amazing how many romantic comedies take place on the move. From cruise ship bound, depression-era fake heiresses to Tony Curtis and Jack Lennon, over twenty years later, (literally) running from the mob in high heels, the best way to find your heart seems to be to travel far and fast enough to leave your name behind.

_MORAL: Whether you're in the air or gliding over the waves or even clickety-clacking down a railroad line, movement can help you lose an identity – or discover the parts of yourself that refuse to be abandoned._

* * *

The trip home was unexpectedly easy. There were benefits, the gang realized, to being sort-of friends with a billionaire, especially one with several corporate jets at his disposal.

Kaiba strode onto the plane and marched straight to the cockpit. Yugi and his friends followed him onboard. Mokuba took over as host with practiced ease. Yami looked around incuriously, ignoring his friends' squeals. He'd been in a plane before, if never one this luxurious. But he'd been a part of Yugi then. Had the excitement he'd felt all those other times been Yugi's and not his own at all?

The pilot's voice announced the take-off routine. Kaiba didn't reappear. Yami wondered if his rival was the one doing the flying. Mokuba was busy enough for five absent brothers, let alone one. He bustled around the plane, showing off its features and settling the gang into their seats, ignoring the flight attendant who was standing by, ready to help.

Yugi enjoyed flying, but he could have been going home in a wheelbarrow and it would have been okay, since Yami was going home with him. And while Yugi couldn't quite match Jounouchi's noisy exuberance at being in the air or Anzu's enthusiasm for the bathroom's scented soaps and lotion choices, he was quietly, ridiculously happy.

"You want to visit the cockpit?" Mokuba asked, like a tiny tour leader. They followed him forward. Mokuba grinned as their mouths dropped open when they saw the view: they were surrounded by blue, cloudless sky.

"It's awesome. I've never seen anything like it," Yugi said.

Kaiba handed over control of the plane to his pilot. The co-pilot was sitting behind them, obviously used to being jettisoned from his seat whenever Kaiba was on board. Kaiba glanced over his shoulder at the group in the back of the cockpit, but didn't bother getting up.

Mokuba giggled. "I think my brother would live up here if he could. He says it's the only place he really feels at…" Mokuba broke off as he caught his brother's glare.

Yami admitted silently that it was a new experience – and a breathtaking one. He smiled slightly and took a step forward.

"It'll be good to get back home where we belong," Yugi said.

"Home..." Yami repeated, as if the word itself was unfamiliar. His voice, quiet and absent, drifted back to Kaiba.

Kaiba pushed himself out of his chair. How dare Yami sound more like a ghost than ever before? Kaiba tried to tell himself, as he walked towards them, that he didn't care, that he was glad to have finally discovered a fatal weakness in his rival, that the only thing left to do was delete Yami from his thoughts now that he'd proven himself unworthy of occupying them. Kaiba had told himself the same things after Gozaburo's death. He meant them even less, now. He'd hated Gozaburo. His adoptive father was part of the past Kaiba kept trying to bury beneath his feet, part of the past that refused to stay in its grave. Whatever Yami was to him was much more complicated… and even harder to dismiss.

"Kaiba… I don't know how to thank you for what you did in Egypt…" Yugi began.

"For what? For risking my brother's life? Don't. If I had known those were the stakes, I wouldn't have done it," Kaiba answered, keeping his eyes fixed on Yami. He was glad to see a flash of anger bring color to his rival's face.

"That's not fair! None of us knew. I would never have asked you…" Yugi stammered.

"Kaiba!" Yami thundered, sounding for a moment like the man who'd sworn never to forgive him, like the man who'd crushed his soul.

Every word Kaiba had said was true, but like most of his insults, it had been calculated as well. He'd gambled that the way to get Yami fired up would be to insult Yugi. Kaiba turned on his heel abruptly and stalked back to his seat, although he made no move to take back control of the plane. He scowled at the expanse of brilliantly blue sky in front of him. His plan had worked. It was ridiculous to get angry at its success, at the way Yami came to life to defend his partner as if Kaiba was still some sort of threat to the runt. As though the midget was as necessary to Yami's existence as the air he was able to breathe for the first time in millennia.

"It's ironic, isn't it?" Kaiba tossed over his shoulder, not bothering to look at Yami. "You were always so focused on the past, as if it mattered. Now you're stuck in the present, just like the rest of us. I wonder how badly you'll suck at living in it."

"Kaiba! Stop it!" Yugi said.

"Talk about a low blow," Jounouchi seconded.

They both broke off at the sound of Yami's laughter.

"You never miss an opportunity to be rude, do you?" he asked.

"Rarely. Why? Do you need coddling?" Kaiba inquired, turning to face them again; his gaze was a laser looking for a target.

"Never," Yami answered. His familiar, feral grin was back on his face, his challenging glare was reserved for Kaiba alone.

Kaiba grunted as he took control of the plane again. Attacking Yami's pride was just as effective as baiting his partner. Kaiba filed the information away for future reference. Yami wasn't drifting away. Not on Kaiba's watch, not after Kaiba had gone to so much trouble to bring him back.

The gang drifted back to their seats. Mokuba closed the door behind them. Kaiba glanced back, confirmed that Mokuba was still in the cockpit then turned around to stare at the sky again. Mokuba sighed and leaned against the door. He was good at waiting.

"I had to try to help even if it meant risking my life," Mokuba said after a pause. He waited to see if his brother would reply.

Kaiba got up and left the cockpit. The co-pilot reclaimed his seat. Mokuba hurried out after his brother. Kaiba strode through the plane, ignoring his guests. He reached the galley in the back and evicted the flight attendant.

"The last thing I wanted was for you to put yourself into danger," Kaiba told Mokuba. He kept his voice low, even though no one was close enough to hear.

"I knew you were going to win," Mokuba pointed out.

"Some victory," Kaiba muttered.

It was Mokuba's turn to pause. He frowned in concentration. His brother had beaten a god. He'd almost single-handedly saved Yami's butt. Mokuba had expected him to gloat the entire way home. Instead he was grumping around the plane. And now that Mokuba thought about it, Yugi hadn't stopped grinning since the duel had ended, but Yami was as glum as his brother.

"Nisama…" Mokuba said. It was an invitation to continue.

"Pluto was right. Yami – or whatever the hell he wants to call himself – is a dead man walking. There's no point defeating someone who's already beaten."

"He'll get back on his feet. Nothing can keep Yami down for long. He's like you that way." Mokuba glanced up at his brother. Kaiba scowled, but he didn't disagree. Encouraged, Mokuba added, "We can help. You know they'd do the same for us."

"We don't need them."

"But maybe this time, they're the ones that need us. We're friends now…" Mokuba's voice trailed off. For once he didn't have to wait for his brother's response.

"In the world of gaming there are no friends. We have a plane. We're useful. That's it."

"But… Yugi and Yami and Jounouchi and all of them… they're gamers. And they're friends."

Kaiba thought of how Yami had come to life to yell at him for insulting Yugi… how Yami had tried to avoid their fated duel all throughout Battle City and Alcatraz, pushing Kaiba aside over and over to help Jounouchi instead…

"Whatever they are to each other, it has nothing to do with us. We're a means to an end. They're an annoyance, or at best, a debt to be repaid. Never forget it." Kaiba marched back to the cockpit, ignoring the tentative greetings that followed him up the aisle. Mokuba sighed and rejoined the others. Their conversation was over.

As comfortable as Kaiba's plane was, it couldn't make the journey back any shorter. They were all relieved to finally get back to Domino. The gang had barely landed on solid ground when they were whisked off by limousine to their homes. Someone must have notified Sugoroku because he was waiting with hugs and food when Yugi and Yami got out.

Yami was glad that Yugi did the most of the talking through dinner – and grateful that both Yugi and his grandfather agreed that it had been a very long trip and it made perfect sense that he wanted to go to bed. He went up to Yugi's room. The second bed, pushed against the opposite wall, was new. Everything else looked the same as it had before they'd left.

Yami paused for a moment, then stripped off his pants and jacket and climbed into the new bed. He left the door ajar. He could hear Yugi's and Sugoroku's voices as they sat downstairs; the murmurs were too indistinct to make out words. Yami had thought he was too keyed up to sleep, but the familiar sounds relaxed him. His eyes drifted shut.

Yugi was careful not to wake him when he entered the bedroom a little while later. Yami had been quiet ever since he'd won his life; Yugi was reassured by his evident exhaustion. It made it easier to believe that Yami would be his familiar self again by morning.

Yugi was still sleeping when Yami woke up the next day. He put his clothes back on and went downstairs. He wanted to talk to Sugoroku, but as he sat at the kitchen table letting the older man pour him a cup of tea, he was suddenly unsure what to say.

"Do you hate me?" Despite the words, the tone wasn't plaintive. Nothing Yami said had ever sounded less than completely confident and this was no exception.

It was a question, nevertheless.

Sugoroku sat down. He wasn't used to talking to someone who looked so much like his grandson while being nothing at all like him, inside.

"You saved my life. You helped Yugi. Why are you…" Sugoroku paused just short of saying the word, "afraid." He took one look at the proud face in front of him and substituted, "Why are you concerned about your welcome?"

"I'm here in your house. I have no mission, no identity. The only reason I'm here is that I had nowhere else to go… and Yugi is my friend."

Yami was sitting up straight, perfectly poised in a way that Yugi had never quite managed. And yet, something in Yami's carefully balanced stillness made an effusive welcome impossible; it was a burden too heavy for shoulders already taut with tension. Sugoroku paused for a moment before replying, "Then I'm pleased to welcome my son's friend into my house for as long as he wishes to stay. Besides the novelty of having two identical duelists will be a babe magnet – and you're never too old to look!"

The doorbell rang, interrupting Yami's polite smile. Sugoroku got up and opened it. He noticed the limousine before glancing at the man standing in front of him. The car was big and glossily black – except for the overly large, gold KC logo on the door. It took up most of the block. The man was tall, thin and clad in a salaryman's ever-present black suit. He was much less memorable than the vehicle that had brought him.

"Kaiba-sama instructed me to deliver this to his rival personally," the man said.

Sugoroku looked up, but the man's eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses. He called to Yami, annoyed at the way Kaiba – even when absent – managed to ratchet up the tension in every encounter.

Yami took the package. The man bowed. He left as quietly as he'd arrived. Yami stared at the large envelope in his hands.

"Even Kaiba can't be challenging me to a duel," Yami said as he went to the table and opened the envelope. He stared in shock at the jumble of documents that poured out. Some were weathered, some freshly laminated. A cell phone was half hidden under his birth certificate. It seemed he and Yugi now shared a birthday. He was three years older. He pushed aside his high school diploma to stare at a driver's license.

"I don't even know how to drive," he murmured.

"You were just saying you didn't have an identity?" Sugoroku said with a grin. "I think that problem's just been solved. And you have something even more valuable – a friend." Sugoroku paused, considering what he knew of Kaiba. "Or someone who wants to repay a debt."

Yami picked up a credit card and palmed it before Sugoroku noticed. "Literally," he said sourly.

Sugoroku studied the driver's license. No one knew better than Kaiba the value of being a legal adult or – in Yami's case – the questions it would allow them to avoid. He was surprised nonetheless. According to the license, Yami was 20, three years older than Kaiba himself. Sugoroku wouldn't have expected Kaiba to cede his rival anything that carried the slightest hint of superior status, even in the somewhat bizarre arena of imaginary birth dates.

Sugoroku continued inspecting the documents. He seemed to have acquired a brother – one who had also been an archeologist. He could appreciate the name: Suguru. Kaiba had taken some of the least memorable digs Sugoroku had been on (avoiding any with Richard Hawkins who would certainly have known who he'd been entombed with) and attributed them to this mythical brother. If anyone cared to look, the similarity of the names and the fact that he'd often been listed simply as S. Mutou, would add to the confusion as to just how many Mutous had been in Egypt back then. It was neatly done. The main purpose in creating Suguru Mutou was so that he could have an equally imaginary son who married an Egyptian woman who gave birth to Yami in Cairo. They were all conveniently dead according to the notices that Kaiba had provided. Sugoroku fished through the documents until he found the computerized copy of Yami's Egyptian birth certificate.

Sugoroku stared at Yami. "According to this meticulously planned and extremely complicated genealogy, you currently have dual citizenship shared between Japan and Egypt. Is this Kaiba's idea of a joke?"

"It's hard to tell with Kaiba," Yami said. He frowned as he looked over the papers.

"However," Sugoroku warned, "dual citizenship can't go on forever. When you're 22, you'll have to permanently choose which country you belong to – Japan or Egypt."

"Well, that's one mystery solved. It may have been a joke – but Kaiba's also sending me a message."

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I actually researched dual citizenship while trying to figure out what kind of documents Kaiba would create for Yami. I was interested discover that Egyptian nationals with at least one parent born in Japan will have to choose, by the age of 22, whether to keep their Japanese or Egyptian nationality. I couldn't believe how well it fit in with the story I was planning since it's largely about Yami's choices.

_**Note to Guest:**_ That's a good point, in a way Kaiba is being selfish in dismissing Yami's desire to go to the after-life. But given how focused Kaiba is on continuing to fight, I think he would see this as Yami giving up. And yes – he really doesn't give Yugi or Jounouchi enough credit!

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal. The link is on my biopage.

_**I really appreciate comments. They help me figure out what's working and what isn't, and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. Please review.**_


	3. Desperately Seeking Susan

**CHAPTER 3: DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN**

**DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN: **Screwball comedy, circa 1985. What was supposed to have been a break-out film for Roseanna Arquette got hijacked by a young Madonna in her movie debut. Rosanna Arquette plays a bored New Jersey housewife who hits her head, wakes up thinking she's the Susan in the title… and proceeds to live what she imagines should be her life.

_MORAL: Sometimes identity isn't about regaining the person you've been; sometimes figuring out who the person you're becoming is, can be just as important._

* * *

Yami spent the next couple of days hanging around the house except when Yugi made plans with the gang. Yugi kept assuring him that he understood, that Yami needed to rest – as if being shoved into this world was a nagging virus that could be cured by a week in bed or a cup of soup. Yami didn't correct him. He had no words to describe this itching feeling that he was in the wrong place, that in beating Pluto, he'd somehow lost. And even if he'd managed to summon the words, Yugi would have been disappointed in him when he heard them. It was easier to muster up his best smile and join Yugi and his friends.

They all kept asking how he was doing, a question that confused him. Yami had always known _what_ to do. "_How" _was a word that had never come up before. Each time, Yami smiled and said, "fine," since that seemed to stymie further inquiries. Then, mercifully, they'd drop the subject and head off in a noisy group to Burger World or the arcade with Yami in tow. Yami won just like always. He supposed that was a good sign.

On the fourth day, Yami escaped before Yugi could come up with any more outings. As he neared his destination, Yami wondered what was wrong with him. Yugi was his other self. Jounouchi and Honda were his friends. Anzu was like the sister he'd never had – and wouldn't remember any more if he did. They all wanted to help, to listen, to make him feel better.

And he was avoiding them to visit Kaiba. He told himself that he was just going to thank the other duelist for his assistance. But Yami knew he was lying. He needed to see Kaiba, even if he wasn't sure why.

As he entered the Kaiba Corporation lobby, Yami realized that he'd never been to Kaiba's office before. Luckily the security guard in the lobby recognized him on sight and escorted him to the elevator where another guard was waiting to take him upstairs. The secretary at the end of the hallway nodded as he got out of the elevator and approached. Yami couldn't help thinking paying court to a pharaoh had probably involved fewer procedures if slightly more ceremony.

Kaiba's secretary was middle aged and sparsely built. Only her air of good humored competence hinted that her personality wasn't as bland as her plain black dress suit with its neat white blouse and pencil skirt.

"He's been expecting you," she said as Yami reached her desk. She nodded towards the office door behind her.

"How could he be expecting me? I didn't know I was coming here until I woke up today."

The movement of her shoulders was too slight to be a shrug. "He's like that, sometimes. You get used to it."

The first person Yami saw when he entered the office was Mokuba. He was laying on a leather couch that looked much too big for him, scrolling through something on a tablet.

He smiled at Yami and said, "You took your time coming over."

Kaiba was at his desk at the end of the room, surrounded on two sides by floor to ceiling length windows. He didn't look up from his monitor to acknowledge Yami's entrance.

"You say that like I've been missed," Yami answered.

Mokuba shrugged without raising his eyes from the game he was playing. "He sent you a message the day you got back."

"All he said was that he was glad I hadn't wimped out and killed myself yet."

That got the younger boy to lift his head from his tablet. Mokuba stared at Yami as though he was speaking ancient Egyptian. "And you think he says that to everyone?"

Yami laughed. Maybe the sound broke Kaiba's concentration because he finally glanced over the top of his monitor at them.

"Why are you here, Mutou?"

Yami smiled. Neither Kaiba nor Mokuba had asked how he was doing. "My last name isn't actually Mutou."

"It is now," Kaiba said with a grin.

Yami's lips twisted. It might have been an answering smile. "Yes, it is. I came here to thank you. You tried to give me an identity."

"What do you mean tried?" Kaiba asked indignantly.

"It's not real."

"Any identity is as real as you make it. Whether or not you remain a shadow is up to you."

"I should have known you'd say that." Yami wondered if he'd come all this way just to find someone more interested in offering confrontation than comfort.

Mokuba looked from his brother to Yami and back. Kaiba nodded briefly and Mokuba got off the couch. "I'm off to my office to set up a preliminary schedule for our next tournament. I should have it done by the time you're ready to leave for home."

Kaiba nodded again and said, "Tell Tamashiro to hold my calls, although she's probably been doing it ever since this loser showed up."

The door closed. Yami ran a hand through his hair, making it stand up more wildly than ever. "Thank you," he repeated. "Not just for the items themselves but for the thought that went into them. I can't tell you how much that meant."

Kaiba shrugged, feeling something in his neck and shoulders relax at Yami's words. It wasn't like he cared – or even noticed – if Yami showed up. He was too busy for that. But it had started to remind Kaiba of Battle City where he'd chased Yami from Domino to Alcatraz, helping his rival every step of the way, only to have their promised duel put off again and again as if Kaiba was an annoyance to be brushed aside when his usefulness had passed. Yami was the supplicant now. Kaiba had intended to remind him of that fact. The thought had been more satisfying before Yami had arrived and thanked him with a sincerity even Kaiba couldn't doubt.

Kaiba shrugged. "It was good training for Mokuba."

"Training?"

"It would have been a waste to pass up the opportunity to teach him how to organize an identity and make sure there are no gaps or contradictions. I supervised the process, of course, including monitoring his computer skills."

"So you were just fulfilling your duties as a conscientious guardian?" Yami asked with a smirk.

One of Kaiba's rare, genuine smiles appeared. Yami found himself leaning slightly towards it.

"I should have come by earlier, but…" Yami's voice trailed off. He scanned the room as if seeing inspiration from its sparse furnishings.

Kaiba tilted his head slightly towards the door. "If there's anything else you wanted to say… the room is sound-proofed."

Yami paused again, trying to put his thoughts in order. "No excuses. I should have come. I do have a question though. Why the cell phone?"

"Not having one would be noticeable," Kaiba answered promptly.

"Why you?"

"If the old guy did it, paying the monthly bill would be a sacrifice for him – and that's something you'd never accept."

"What makes you think that I'd be more likely to take it coming from you?"

"Because from him it would be charity. I'm paying a debt."

"With this?" Yami asked, suddenly annoyed. He tossed the credit card at Kaiba's face. "I don't want your money."

Kaiba caught the card just before it hit his nose. "I wasn't giving you money – that was merely a means to an end."

"What end?"

"Time. Whatever time you need to figure out what you want to do with your life. That's the true luxury." Kaiba didn't bother to add that it was one he'd never been able to afford.

"I can't accept," Yami said curtly.

Kaiba nodded. "I didn't think you would. I wanted to offer, though." Kaiba sounded vaguely surprised with himself.

"I went to the arcade yesterday. I won. I wasn't sure I could win anymore. I did and I don't even know how to feel about it. Happy, I guess. I thought that was over, now, but I suppose that skill is really mine."

Kaiba jumped up from behind his desk. He approached Yami and stood, towering over him. "Who else could it belong to? Unless you believe that all those victories over me weren't skill. Are you admitting that you only won because you were cheating all along?"

"Look at your own behavior before you accuse me of cheating, you bastard! What would you call standing on a parapet of a tower and threatening to jump?"

Kaiba flushed slightly. "I acknowledged at the time that Duelists Kingdom hadn't been a fair duel."

Yami sobered instantly. "Of course it wasn't. You were trying to save Mokuba. Nothing else could matter compared to that." He paused and stared at Kaiba; if he hadn't been looking so closely he would have missed the slight relaxation in his shoulders. "I shouldn't have insulted you. I shouldn't have gotten so angry. I promised myself never to do that again. I shouldn't have forgotten." Yami's lips turned downward, he was suddenly reminded of the directionless creature who'd first emerged from the Puzzle, of the monster Yugi had been afraid of.

Kaiba shrugged. "Yell at me all you want. Do you think I'll refuse to honor my debts? As you just reminded me, you were the one to save Mokuba at Duelists Kingdom… and at Death-T." Kaiba paused and looked away briefly. When he turned back to Yami, his head was down; his eyes were half-hidden behind the curtain of his bangs. His voice was lower; it seemed to vibrate in the large office, to bounce off the incongruously ornate wooden desk. "I've had plenty of time to think about where the road I was building led. You knocked me off it, so that I could forge a new path, one that would lead to a truer future. I owe you."

"You're my friend," Yami said.

"Use whatever definition you want," Kaiba snapped.

The silence stretched between them. Kaiba went back to work. Yami sat down on the couch that Mokuba had vacated. It was as comfortable as it looked. Yami watched Kaiba, unable to come up with a reason to move. It was quiet in Kaiba's office. He wasn't shouting into his phone or at his staff; the only sound was the soft click of his keyboard. Yami didn't have to worry that he was disappointing anyone with his own unhappiness; he didn't have to wonder about all the ways he should be feeling.

"Go home, Yami," Kaiba said, his voice breaking into the silence, jarring in its curtness. "Use the door or the window. It's your choice which destination you're aiming for."

"Do you really think me such a coward?" Yami yelled, his eyes flashing.

Kaiba's own eyes gleamed briefly at the result of his jibe. "No. I was betting on the door, myself."

"I'm honored," Yami said. His tone managing to combine sarcasm and sincerity.

"You should be. With most people, I'd be thinking window."

Yami nodded in acknowledgement and left. Ms. Tamashiro was surprised to hear him chuckling softly as he walked back to the elevator. While people talking to themselves as they left her boss' office was hardly a new reaction, none of them had ever laughed before.

Yami was unsettled to realize, as he walked home, that he felt unaccountably lighter leaving Kaiba than he had on his arrival in the office. It felt like some obscure act of betrayal to turn from Yugi to Kaiba, who'd been an enemy – or at best a reluctant ally and unacknowledged friend. But things were simpler with Kaiba. Yugi radiated friendship, joy and hope. Kaiba had spoken of obligation, responsibility and honor. Those things, Yami decided, he could handle.

"How did it go with Kaiba?" Yugi asked when Yami returned to the bedroom he and Yugi now shared.

"How did it go?" Yami repeated. "We started out talking and ended up yelling at each other. Just like always." He chuckled.

Yugi stared at him. It was the second time Yami had given a genuine smile, had even laughed, since their duel with Pluto – and Kaiba had been responsible both times.

"I'm glad," Yugi said. He swallowed down an unworthy twinge of jealousy that Kaiba had somehow managed to make Yami seem so much happier than he'd looked that morning.

"Glad?" Yami asked with a second chuckle.

Yugi blushed slightly. He'd been avoiding commenting on Yami's downcast expression; the last thing he wanted was to make Yami feel like he had to lie and say that everything was okay when it so clearly wasn't. He should have known that he couldn't fool Yami. But one look at his partner's carefully composed face convinced Yugi that Yami wasn't ready to talk, at least, not yet.

"You've always liked fighting Kaiba," Yugi pointed out instead.

"True enough. Not that striking sparks off of Kaiba is difficult. A more arrogant, argumentative jackass would be hard to find. Today he asked me if I'd come by to jump out of his window."

"Actually, that seems like a mild insult for Kaiba."

"For once, I don't think it was a taunt. He was reminding me that living is a choice – and that once I had made mine, I had an obligation to honor it."

This time, Yami's smile was a sadder, more rueful affair. But it stayed on his face as they joined Sugoroku for dinner.

.

* * *

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Although the story will focus on Yami and Kaiba's relationship, I think it's really important to avoid undervaluing Yami and Yugi's relationship along the way. Yugi and Yami support each other and root for each other and believe in each other. However, I think it's possible to show that relationship with the importance it deserves while acknowledging that Yami and Yugi can't be everything to each other and fulfill every need. Yugi gives Yami unconditional support and love, but in those times when Yami has felt most unable to go on, it is Kaiba who has gotten him to keep fighting, mainly by taunting him. That's true in the series and I think that would be true in this situation as well. I could see Yugi's faith being something Yami would feel that he has to live up to and that would be difficult in a situation where he feels like he no longer knows the rules or the game. What do you think?

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal. The link is on my biopage.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really appreciate comments. They help me figure out what's working and what isn't, and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. Please review.**_


	4. The Thin Man Series

**EARLY MANGA/DEATH-T NOTE: ** Yami and Kaiba have two duels that either don't appear in the anime, or appear in a radically different form. Their first shadow game occurs when Kaiba steals Sugoroku's BEWD from Yugi. Yami challenges him to a shadow game (or penalty game) to get it back. Yami wins when Kaiba summons the BEWD, but the dragon destroys itself rather than follow his commands. Yami inflicts a penalty game on Kaiba where he is trapped in the illusion that he is in the Duel Monsters world and is killed by his own monsters. Kaiba creates Death-T to avenge this loss. Mokuba insists on being one of Yami's challengers. Kaiba misreads this as a personal attack on him, and when Mokuba loses, Kaiba forces him to go through the Death Simulation chamber he had designed for Yami. Yami rescues Mokuba, and defeats Kaiba by summoning Exodia. He shatters Kaiba's heart, giving Kaiba the opportunity to rebuild it without the darkness that was destroying him.

* * *

**CHAPTER 4: THE THIN MAN**

THE THIN MAN SERIES: Screwball mystery/romantic comedy movies, circa 1934 – 1947. William Powell and Myrna Loy spent the Great Depression as Nick and Nora Charles, solving murders and reuniting lovers in between trading quips and tossing back cocktails.

_MORAL: Having a partner to banter with makes everything better._

* * *

Yami decided that his favorite meal was breakfast. He liked sitting at the little kitchen table chatting with Yugi and Sugoroku. It was restful… right up until the moment when the other two would start outlining their plans for the day.

Yami didn't have any more plans now than he'd had when he'd been a passenger in the Puzzle. Gaining a body had made the lack of an agenda more noticeable.

"I'm going to see Anzu at dance class today," Yugi announced; his face was slightly pink.

Yami hid a grin. For once, Yugi wasn't inviting him along.

"I'm going over to Bakura's first," Yugi continued. "I haven't seen him since… you know… everything. I want to make sure he's okay."

Sugoroku beamed at Yugi. "That's a kind thought. I'm proud of you."

They both turned to look expectantly at Yami.

"I might look up Kaiba, again," he said.

They stared at him in surprise. Yugi recovered first. "Sounds like a plan!" He hugged Yami and his grandfather, said good-bye and headed out the door.

"You were right," Yami said to Sugoroku. "Kaiba was just paying off a debt. He told me, himself." Yami tried to keep his voice matter-of-fact. It was silly to be disappointed, yet again, at Kaiba's refusal to understand or embrace friendship, at the way he continually spurned Yami's approaches as if that gave him power, even if it was only the power of denial.

"Kaiba can be quite determined when he thinks he has an obligation," Sugoroku admitted, thinking about the shelves in the shop downstairs. He'd spent yesterday adding the latest arrivals from Kaiba Corporation, more proof of Kaiba's fanaticism in ridding himself of real or imagined indebtedness. Sometime after Kaiba had awakened from the coma that had followed Death-T, the Kame Game Shop had been put on the advance distribution list for Kaiba Corporation products; limited edition items would randomly show up at Sugoroku's door. It was an advantage other, more powerful retailers had clamored for in vain. It had been done without consulting him, and Sugoroku hadn't known how to open a conversation with someone who had put him in the hospital, then tried to make amends – all without ever acknowledging his existence.

"He's drawn a line in the sand between obligation and friendship – and insists on keeping us on opposite sides," Yami said.

Sugoroku looked at Yami's carefully neutral face, and reviewed everything he'd seen or heard of their exchanges. As far as he could tell, Kaiba had listened to Yami and had let his actions be influenced by the other man. Sugoroku couldn't imagine that was a thing that happened often. "Either that or Kaiba's not ready to admit that he's already crossed it, that over time the line's been entirely erased."

Yami tilted his head; his eyes seemed brighter.

"I think, in your case there's more to it than obligation. But it's hard to tell what goes through that young man's head," Sugoroku conceded.

"He tried to give me a credit card," Yami said.

Sugoroku raised his eyebrows, but made no other response.

"I gave it back." Yami looked down briefly. "I threw it in his face, actually," he admitted.

Sugoroku laughed. After a moment, Yami joined him.

"That boy certainly doesn't believe in half-measures," Sugoroku said.

Yami nodded, still chuckling. "He was right though. I can't be a burden on you."

Sugoroku knew better than to protest. "You could help in the shop. I was planning on hiring someone part-time, anyway," he suggested instead.

Yami glanced at him. He didn't answer. One eyebrow quirked upwards.

"I wouldn't lie," Sugoroku said indignantly. "Can you think of anyone who'd be better at predicting which games are likely to be popular? Determining market trends is a game in and of itself. And you certainly know enough about our products to sell them."

"I shouldn't have doubted your honesty. I would be honored to accept."

"I can't pay much, but it'll give you some pocket money."

"No. I'll work so that I'm not a burden to your family for my room and board."

"You're part of our family now!" Sugoroku protested.

"Thank you. But I can't take money from you, not any more than I could accept Kaiba's credit card. Don't worry about me. I'll come up with something. Maybe figuring it out is a game as well. It's certainly a challenge," Yami said with a smirk as he headed for the door.

Sugoroku was too happy to see the return of Yami's confident grin to argue further. If Yami was using his pride as an anchor in this new world, Sugoroku wasn't about to cut the rope.

Yugi was relieved Yami had other plans. He was going to see Bakura as announced and Anzu really did have a dance class. But first, he was meeting Jounouchi and Honda – and helping Yami was the main topic on the agenda.

"I'm worried about Yami," Yugi said when he met the others at the park.

Jounouchi nodded. "He seems kind of down."

"I know. But every time I ask him, he just smiles and says I shouldn't worry," Yugi told them.

"We just have to help him get into the swing of things," Jounouchi said. "Is he going to be coming to school with us? That'll help him pass the time… well… kind of."

They all laughed. Yugi shook his head. "You won't believe it, but Kaiba made all these documents for him… a birth certificate, a driver's license, a high school diploma." Yugi smiled. "He even gave Yami good grades on the college entrance exam. I told you that Kaiba was a decent guy underneath it all."

"Very far underneath," Jounouchi muttered under his breath.

"Man, is he lucky! A high school diploma without having to go to class! Well, we still have some time left on our vacation. Let's make sure Yami has a good time. Maybe it'll chase away whatever's bugging him," Honda said.

"Yeah! Isn't your grandpa going to visit some old archeology buddies for the weekend?" Jounouchi asked.

"He's leaving Friday night after the shop closes," Yugi said.

"Great! We could throw a party for Yami on the weekend!"

"Jounouchi…" Yugi said nervously.

"Don't worry. We're not going to trash your house. Let's just invite some of the guys from school and get Yami used to being around people besides us," Jounouchi said.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Jounouchi has a good idea," Honda said.

Yugi waited until the inevitable shoving match had stopped then looked from Honda to Jounouchi and nodded. "I hope it works."

"Of course it will! Yami's the coolest dude I know. Nothing's going to keep him down!" Jounouchi said.

"And maybe we can get Anzu to invite some of her friends… you know… girls… I mean Anzu must know some girls… she is one after all…" Honda's face was bright red by the time he finally finished speaking.

Jounouchi rolled his eyes but managed to keep his mouth shut. Anything that kept Honda's mind off of Shizuka was okay in his book. "And Anzu can help keep everyone in line."

Yugi face turned as pink as Honda's at the thought of Anzu helping him to run his party as if she was a girl friend or something. "Let's do it," he agreed, more forcefully this time.

The little gathering broke up once they'd reached a decision. Jounouchi had a part-time job to get to; Honda had a nephew to watch. But despite an inward wince at hearing his best friend say someone else was the coolest guy ever (a statement Yugi agreed with), Yugi felt better as he headed to Bakura's. At least they had a plan.

Jounouchi fell in besides him, walking him part of the way. "You know, when we won, I figured it was all over except for the high-fives. Nothing turned out like we thought, huh? I never dreamed Yami would ever get to live his own life. Never thought we'd have to cheer him up about it, either."

"He's alive. He's here with us. That's the most important thing, right? Yami's helped us so much. Now, it's our turn to help him."

Jounouchi threw his arm around Yugi's shoulders. "That's the spirit! Say 'Hi' to Bakura for me. It's great you're going to check up on him." Jounouchi turned the corner and started sprinting towards his job. But he looked back and called out, "Bakura's another one that should be out celebrating after losing that psycho spirit of his!"

Yugi smiled and waved goodbye. It was strange, he thought as he continued walking, how everyone kept saying that it was nice of him to visit Bakura. It hadn't occurred to anyone that he wanted to.

Bakura was alone in his apartment. As usual, his father was out of the country.

"How are you?" Bakura asked, as he ushered Yugi in.

Yugi laughed. "Most days, I'm not sure. It's strange. I keep expecting to find Yami… you know…" he tapped his head lightly with his fist, "…in here with me. It was less than two years, but I got used to everything so quickly. And now it's over."

"It's lonely, isn't it?" Bakura said softly. He glanced at Yugi, waiting for a lecture on how lucky he was to be free of the Thief King.

But Yugi only nodded and said, "Sometimes, it can be."

Bakura smiled tentatively. If a deer could assume a human expression, it would have resembled Bakura in that instant. "I'm glad he's gone," Bakura said, just a little too quickly. "But sometimes… it's lonely."

Yugi nodded again. He didn't say anything, but his silence was an invitation to talk.

"It's strange having the day to myself," Bakura continued. "Sometimes, I'd lose track of time. I'd wake up and days would have passed or the last thing I'd remember was being in school or at home and suddenly I'd be somewhere else with no memory of how I'd got there." He swallowed and fell silent again.

Yugi remembered feeling like that in the early days with Yami. He'd been lucky. Yami had quickly become his other self... a friend instead of an intruder. "That's a scary feeling," he agreed.

Bakura nodded. "I'm glad it's over," he repeated, more firmly this time. "It's just that I have to get used to being alone."

"You could stay with us," Yugi offered.

"You already have another guest," Bakura pointed out. "Besides, this is my house." He shrugged. "This is my life. I have to get used to it."

"Promise you'll visit," Yugi said.

"I promise," Bakura answered.

"I mean it," Yugi said. "You're the only one who knows what it's like."

"That's a bond too, isn't it?" Bakura's grin was surprisingly impish. "It's just a different one than I'm used to."

"It's just as real." Yugi insisted.

Bakura nodded. Maybe it would be enough. It was a start. And he hadn't had one of those in quite a while.

Yami spent the walk to Kaiba Corporation trying to figure out why he was going back there at all. Kaiba's smug attitude grated on him. He'd once had to shatter the guy's heart to keep him from killing everyone in sight. But Kaiba had managed to rebuild, and Yami respected how much strength that had taken. It was almost enough to outweigh his flaws.

And while Yami disapproved of almost everything that Kaiba stood for or believed in, he'd gotten used to sharpening his own convictions by defending them against Kaiba's attacks. _"And he does it all so passionately,"_ a small traitorous part of his mind whispered. Yami shook his head. Somehow, Kaiba always managed to make Yami feel alive, and right now he needed the reminder.

Just like the day before, Yami was ushered directly into Kaiba's presence. Kaiba was with Isono. The older man bowed to Yami in greeting, then, more deeply, to Kaiba before leaving with a stack of papers in his hand.

"Back so soon?" Kaiba asked.

"Right from the beginning, you saw me as someone separate from Yugi," Yami said as the door closed behind Isono. "You kept insisting you didn't believe in any of it, but you knew. You even insulted Yugi just to get me to appear."

"You say that like insulting Yugi is a hardship," Kaiba observed.

"It should be," Yami said sternly.

"There's only one way to shut my mouth. If either of you don't like it, beat me in a duel. I'm ready any time."

"I'm surprised it's taken you this long to challenge me. Demanding a duel is your usual response to seeing me, isn't it?"

"I always challenge you. But we both know you're not ready for a duel. You couldn't beat a ten year-old with his first deck right now."

Yami's eyes flashed. Without realizing it, he'd shifted into his dueling posture... back straight, hips tilted slightly forward. "Big talk from someone who's never beaten either of us."

Kaiba grinned, putting this exchange, at least, firmly in the win column. "I only dueled _you_."

"Yugi was part of every duel you lost."

"Moral support doesn't count. He wasn't the one throwing down the cards." Kaiba gave a short laugh. "The only time he appeared, he surrendered in about ten seconds."

"He only did it to save your worthless hide!" Yami roared.

Kaiba hid a smile at the fire in Yami's voice, then let his smirk show. "You're slipping, Yami, if you think that's going to insult me. In monetary terms, my hide's worth quite a lot. As for the rest…" Kaiba shrugged. "It's worth precisely what anyone's life is worth. It's an entrance fee, a coin to be staked in pursuit of everything crucial."

"That's all it is to you? Then you're poorer than Yugi," Yami said.

"Right. Like I'm going to take life advice from a ghost or a naïve kid." Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Dream on."

"Yugi knows that life's the most important thing there is, Kaiba! He knows how to live. That's winning."

"Sounds peachy. Someone should put it on a greeting card. But if you really believe all that crap why are you here?"

"I don't know," Yami said.

Kaiba frowned. A defeated note had returned to poison Yami's voice, and Kaiba couldn't accept hearing his rival sound like that. Anger was a tonic; Yami needed another dose. Kaiba eyed Yami, then snorted and said, "Besides, a weakling like Yugi wouldn't have lasted for five minutes with Gozaburo. If he wants to pretend all his platitudes are real, that's his problem."

"So friendship and trust are nothing to you? What about Mokuba?"

"Leave Mokuba out of this!" Kaiba roared back, truly angry for the first time.

Yami laughed. It was a smug, superior laugh. Kaiba had been trying to push Yami into regaining his old arrogance; now he was angered by the results of his success.

"Ah, yes," Yami said, "Mokuba… the one chink in your armor, the one thing that reminds you that – despite your best efforts – you're still human. Is that why you tried to kill him?"

"Yes."

They stared at each other open mouthed. Kaiba had managed to shock them both into silence.

Was this what friendship was, Kaiba wondered… not caring what you said because the person you were talking to had seen all the ugliness you were exposing, anyway? Somehow he doubted that was Yugi's definition.

"Yes," Kaiba repeated. "Do you think I've forgotten everything I've done, everything I'm capable of?"

"I hope you realize that you're capable of change, that you've grown into a better person."

"Damn your platitudes. Do you think they matter to me? Everything pales next to what I did."

"You're wrong! Everything matters, not just the bad parts. Mokuba would agree with me."

"You can throw my failures in my face as much as you want. You won't be telling me anything new. But that has nothing to do with Mokuba. You know why you don't get to talk about him? Because you may have been some kind of half-assed pharaoh, but you were never a parent. Mokuba's off limits."

"So is Yugi," Yami replied, his voice just as hard and implacable.

"Fair enough. I won't trash him. But I reserve the right to tell you that you don't trust him as much as you pretend."

"What?" Yami said, eyes flashing red.

It was a trick of the light; for an instant, a hint of the Sennen Eye appeared on his forehead. Kaiba wondered if any of Yami's power remained.

"How dare you say that?" Yami yelled.

"Because you're here, and I don't suppose you came all this way just to tell me that I should have been nicer to Yugi."

"No, I didn't. I don't know why I came, except that you're a gamer." Yami sighed. "Have you ever needed time just to figure out what your next move is?"

"Sure. It's called being in a coma. I had months of it."

"I don't regret putting you through a penalty game. Either time," Yami said, enunciating each word for emphasis.

Kaiba's teeth flashed in what could have been a grin. "Neither do I. Most days I resent like hell that it happened, but that's different than regret."

Yami realized with a start that for all the experiences they'd shared, they'd never talked about Death-T or the penalty games that had preceded it.

"I didn't want to destroy you. I knew even then, that despite everything, you deserved better – and that if I gave you the chance you could come back, stronger than ever," Yami said, wondering why he'd never said it before, why it felt like he was surrendering a secret, now.

"Are you saying you held back? That you didn't hit me with your best shot? That's intolerable!" Kaiba roared.

Yami scanned Kaiba's outraged face and for the first time since gaining his own body he truly laughed. It was a deep, full bodied laugh, one that had him grasping his stomach, that left him leaning against the wall, his legs suddenly wobbly. He gazed at Kaiba's face through tearing eyes and howled again. It felt good.

"You are going to get back to your A-game and you are going to fight me for real," Kaiba hissed.

"I would have killed you at Duelists Kingdom if Yugi hadn't stopped me. Is that good enough for you? Does that make you happy?" Yami managed to gasp in between chuckles.

"Don't you dare patronize me!"

Yami managed to regain control of himself. "I'm not. I'm not sure what I was doing, besides laughing more deeply than I can ever remember, but I wasn't insulting you. I have so few memories, I should treasure them all – but the memory of the person I was when I first emerged from the Puzzle… that one I would gladly give up." Yami could remember what it felt like to summon a penalty game, the heady rush of power surging through his borrowed body, the lust to judge, to punish, to destroy... the soul-searing anger. Those qualities still lay in wait. The lessons Yugi had taught were papered over a frame that had not altered. Yami shook his head again. No. He had changed. Kaiba had changed. And even Kaiba wasn't crazy enough to want to play another penalty game.

"You've grown into a formidable opponent. It will be my pleasure to duel you again." Yami said.

Kaiba grunted. "Okay, then."

Yami bowed and left. He couldn't help chuckling a little as he walked down the hallway, remembering the look on Kaiba's face.

By the time he was in the elevator, Mokuba was in his brother's office. He had a sheaf of tournament details in his hands, although he didn't bother offering them as an excuse.

"So, Yami stopped by again?" Mokuba waited to see if his brother would take the bait and answer.

Kaiba grunted.

Mokuba tried again. "It's strange to see him outside of a duel. Or, you know, his usual saving the world kind of thing."

"Everything's a duel."

Mokuba waited a moment. Kaiba leaned forward and put his elbows on his desk. He dug his chin into his laced fingers and looked at Mokuba. "Duels are how we test ourselves, how we discover who we are, how we confront our flaws, how we learn if the philosophies that guide our lives are true. Yami's in no condition to duel anyone right now. As long as he thinks of himself as a dead man walking, that's all he'll ever be."

Kaiba paused. Kaiba had never told Mokuba; he hadn't wanted to appear weak, but he'd been surprised when Gozaburo had chosen to kill himself. Kaiba had been so caught up in the struggle, he'd never thought about what life would be like after his victory. He'd expected Gozaburo to fight back; he'd looked forward to rubbing Gozaburo's face in his loss.

Kaiba didn't think of justice very often, having learned early and often that such ideals had no place in his life. But when he'd taken control of Kaiba Corporation, for once the word "justice" had seemed to fit perfectly – and it had been just as unreachable as he'd always suspected.

Kaiba had needed… something… from Gozaburo beyond his company or even his life. Not approval, of course. He'd outgrown that childish wish on the day he's stopped calling the other man, "father." But acknowledgement, maybe, that he'd become the stronger man. They'd been Gozaburo's lessons, maybe Kaiba had wanted a grudging admission that he'd mastered them.

Whatever Kaiba had been looking for, Gozaburo's death had stolen it, leaving Kaiba with an empty battle and no one to fight, no way to win. Gozaburo had headed for the window as if death was his next appointment. He'd tossed off his last words and laughed as if Kaiba was still a child, as if Gozaburo could still beat his lessons deep into the bone.

And Gozaburo had been right. When the wind whipped around the Kaiba Corporation tower, Kaiba could hear the echoes of his cackling laugh, the sound trailing off as he plummeted to the ground below the building that bore their name.

It wasn't surprising Kaiba had found Yami soon after. But if Yami had filled the vacuum left by Gozaburo's one-way flight, he'd also been different. Although Kaiba had no objection to dramatic pronouncements, he hated clichés. But each battle with Gozaburo had left him feeling a little more degraded, as if he was being torn a little more each time, until he'd forgotten how to bleed. Yami had jump-started his system, he'd retaught Kaiba how to feel, how to hurt. But Kaiba had felt himself coming alive, even as each early encounter had left him closer to finding death.

Mokuba settled into a chair. He was used to waiting through his brother's silences. He searched Kaiba's face for clues. His brother was frowning. That happened too often to tell Mokuba much. But Kaiba's eyebrows were slightly furrowed, and although he was staring straight ahead, there was a blank, withdrawn look in his eyes. His lips were drawn downwards in a thin line, in bitterness as well as anger. Gozaburo then.

Mokuba watched as Kaiba's gaze became more intent, more alive, less haunted. Mokuba relaxed a little. That expression usually meant his brother was thinking about Yami. He was back in the present, back in the room with Mokuba.

"I want my rival back," Kaiba admitted.

Mokuba smiled. "I'm sure Yami has the courage."

Kaiba nodded. Abruptly he pushed back from his desk and went to stand at his window, looking down at the street, although Yami was long out of sight. "It's a different kind of courage. Facing an opponent, even with the world on the line is different from facing yourself, from looking into a void at the center of your being to see if there's anything that can be salvaged, anything you can build on." He turned from the window. "I want my rival, the man who thrilled me by walking in the door, the man with his heart in his eyes every time we dueled, the man who challenged me as deeply as I did him."

"He can do it," Mokuba insisted. "He's not our adoptive father. He's stronger than that – or he wouldn't be your rival."

Kaiba frowned. "I wonder why he keeps coming here instead of going to Yugi."

"Maybe he wants to be challenged, to have whatever's eating him thrown back in his face. Yugi can't do that. He's too nice. Maybe Yami needs a rival, too."

One of Kaiba's rare smiles lit up his face. "And I'm going to hound him until he remembers that." Kaiba nodded to the tournament plans that Mokuba had almost forgotten he was still holding. "I'm going to see to it that he's ready to compete by the time our tournament is underway. Otherwise defeating him there will be meaningless."

Mokuba was too used to his brother to find anything in the odd in the pronouncement that Kaiba was only building Yami up so that he could crush his rival when he was at the top of his game. Mokuba's sigh was inward. Even if he worked up the nerve to ask if that was his brother's only motive in helping Yami, he knew better than to hope that Kaiba would reply.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I'm glad to be getting a chance to write a story idea that has Yami and Sugoroku getting to spend time together and getting know each other. Yami saves Sugoroku's life in the manga and gives him the box containing the pieces of his Puzzle that Yugi later assembles. If Sugoroku assembled the Puzzle back in his Indiana Jones days, I can kinda see him being Atem's wingman or (more likely) visa versa. But now, I think he's look at Yami and see someone his grandson's age - and someone just as in need of a grandparent's love. If this was Kaiba, he'd be talking about debt and obligation by now, because Sugoroku owes Yami for his life. But I think Sugoroku's wiser than that. He wants to help Yami because he can.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal. The link is on my biopage.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really appreciate comments. They help me figure out what's working and what isn't, and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page – and I can't express how encouraging it is to hear from you. Please review.**_


	5. Romantic Movie Cliche 2: The Party Scene

**ROMANTIC COMEDY CLICHÉ #2: THE PARTY SCENE**

Where would romantic comedies be without the obligatory raucous party scene, complete with a roster of ill-assorted, obnoxiously friendly guests?

_MORAL: There's no better way to emphasize that two characters are off in a world of their own, than by sticking them in a room full of people._

* * *

Yami raised his beer bottle to his mouth and took another gulp. This was his celebration. He was supposed to be happy, or at the very least grateful. He was supposed to be thrilled to meet the classmates he remembered from all the hours he spent with Yugi in school. The group from that ill-fated school bazaar were there, as was Tomoya Hanasaki, who was still the only kid shorter than Yugi. They were all excited to meet Yugi's relative from Egypt and to marvel at the wonders of genetics in producing almost identical twin cousins. Their conversations were all the same.

"You look just like the pictures of Yugi at Battle City and at the KC Grand Prix! Do you duel? Are you as good as Yugi? I can't believe Yugi never mentioned he had a cousin who looks just like him! Are you two the same age? Are you coming to high school with him?"

The noise was too loud, the room was too crowded. Yami took another drink, wondering if it was possible to suffocate at your own party. He was glad that the documents Kaiba had provided had included a High School Diploma.

"Yugi," he asked, glad his partner was nearby. "Where's Kaiba?"

Yugi stared at him blankly. "We didn't invite him?" he said, hesitation turning his answer into a question.

"Why not?"

"I don't know really. I mean we've never hung out together or anything. Here wait… he gave us his private number during the Grand Prix." Yugi fumbled with his phone; Yami remembered that Kaiba's number had been programed into the one Kaiba had given him as well. He'd never used it.

"All done," Yugi said cheerfully. "I sent him a text. I better let Jounouchi know so he isn't too rude if Kaiba actually shows." He looked at Yami and his forehead wrinkled. "Don't be disappointed if he doesn't," Yugi added as he disappeared back into the crowd.

But Kaiba, somewhat to everyone's surprise, showed up just after Yami had ducked out the back door.

Kaiba couldn't believe how many boring and unimportant people Yugi had managed to cram into his living room.

Mokuba tugged at his arm. "Wow! I didn't know Yugi was throwing a party! I've never been to a high school party before."

Kaiba shot his brother a warning glare. He wasn't about to admit that he'd never been to one either – or that he hadn't realized that Yugi was throwing a party at all. Yugi's text had managed to leave out the most important point.

Kaiba wasn't sure how he would have responded if he'd been alone. Would he simply have ignored Yugi's message? But Mokuba had been standing next to him. Kaiba frowned. He'd had a choice. He'd known from the beginning that if he handed Mokuba his phone, the evening would end with them walking in Yugi's front door. Kaiba could have shoved the damn thing back in his pocket. He hadn't. And now he was at a party. It seemed a fitting punishment.

Kaiba groaned as Jounouchi walked up to them, as if a gathering this small needed an official greeter. Whether, if Kaiba had come alone, Jounouchi would have picked a fight with him the instant he walked in was anybody's guess. As it turned out, embarrassment was the main expression on Jounouchi's face when he greeted Kaiba.

"I'm sorry, Kaiba. If we'd known you were bringing Mokuba we wouldn't have…" Jounouchi said, breaking off to gesture towards the beer sitting next to the soda on the table.

Kaiba looked at him blankly for a moment. Surely they weren't planning on force-feeding Mokuba alcohol? Then he remembered: most people didn't invite thirteen year olds to parties where beer was quite so prominently displayed.

"Don't worry. I rate Mokuba's maturity level far higher than yours." Kaiba gestured to the bottle in Jounouchi's hand. "One of the first of many, I presume."

"One of the first of two," Jounouchi answered proudly. "Never gotten drunk yet, never plan to start."

Kaiba nodded, unable to work up an insult. He looked around the room and decided grabbing a beer himself wasn't the worst idea he'd ever had.

"Besides…" Jounouchi added. "We're not all made out of money. Some of us can't afford to buy out a brewery for our parties." Jounouchi shook his head. It was par for the course that Mr. Moneybags hadn't even brought a bag of chips to a pot-luck party.

"Nisama…" Mokuba said, tugging on his brother's arm again. He tilted his head towards the group of kids clustered around the television in the back of the room. Four kids were playing a video-game. The rest were hanging around cheering them on and making fun of each other with equal joy. Yami wasn't with them. Kaiba sighed in annoyance.

"We were just going back there," Honda said as he materialized next to Jounouchi. "We can watch your brother if he wants to play. We're next up anyway."

Kaiba frowned, then nodded.

Mokuba hugged him. "You're the greatest, Nisama!" he yelled as he ran to the back of the room, caroming his way through the rest of the party-goers like a sentient bowling ball.

Kaiba smirked as Jounouchi exclaimed, "We're the ones watching you, but your brother's the greatest? How does that even work?"

Kaiba grabbed another beer as Mokuba settled in with the rest of the kids. Mokuba jumped up, grabbed a controller and joined Jounouchi, Honda and the winner from the last game when their turn came up. Kaiba drank and watched; it was clear Mokuba was going to win. Kaiba smiled at his brother's triumphant yell.

If nothing else, this visit had established he hadn't missed a thing by leaving Domino High School so abruptly. Kaiba ignored the nonentities that made up the student population with practiced ease. Bakura was the only one to approach him, carrying a plate of pastries. He was apparently under the delusion that spending time in the medical ward on Kaiba's Battle Blimp had made them friends. As he took a final swig and threw away the bottle, Kaiba decided that he preferred Bakura's occasionally homicidal former counterpart.

Unlike Jounouchi, Kaiba didn't stop at two, especially as he circled the room again and realized that the man he'd come to see had definitely walked out on him. Kaiba frowned as he reviewed Yugi's message, again. A party, even a small, makeshift one, still took time to plan. But Kaiba hadn't been invited with the rest of the guests. And texting, "It would be great if you could make it over tonight if you're not too busy. Hope to see you!" was a remarkably inept way of inviting him to a party, even for Yugi. It was so inept that Kaiba started to wonder if it had been some sort of trick.

If Yami had sent the message instead of Yugi, Kaiba would have been sure of it. But Yami would have hung around long enough to open the door and taunt Kaiba for showing up, gleefully triumphant at the way he'd jerked Kaiba to heel so quickly and easily. But that kind of calculated cruelty wasn't Yugi's style. Bumblingly benign cluelessness was. Leaving Kaiba, once again, without an explanation for his invitation or Yami's absence... unless after arranging for Kaiba's presence, Yami had simply gotten bored (something Kaiba couldn't blame him for considering the room and its occupants) and wandered off, having decided that Kaiba's arrival wasn't worth waiting for.

Kaiba spotted a gap in the crowd and headed in that direction, assuming he'd find Yugi. He grunted in satisfaction at running the midget to earth. The tall brown-haired girl was next to him, as usual. Kaiba reminded himself she'd been nice to Mokuba, and nodded to her before saying, "I love it that you've managed to remain unnoticed at your own party, Yugi." Kaiba leaned back, enjoying the height difference. He crossed his arms and added, "So where is the guest of honor anyway – now that you've dragged me to this boring event? Somewhere moping in a corner I assume?"

Predictably, the girl put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "You don't have to follow up every nice thing you do – like helping to save Yami – by being meaner than ever. We promise not to forget what a jerk you are. And the last thing Yami needs right now is any attitude from you!"

Kaiba smirked. "I was thinking that might be the _first_ thing he needs."

Yugi smiled up at Kaiba as if an argument wasn't swirling over his head. "Thanks for coming. I know how busy you are. Yami just needed some fresh air, but he should be back inside soon. He'll be glad to see you. He was hoping you'd stop by."

Kaiba shook his head, not sure how – or whether – to reply. Yugi wore his unbearably naïve decency as if it was armor. But Kaiba felt the knot of anger he'd carried from the moment he'd walked in the door, start to dissipate. Kaiba considered Yugi's words. He had joked about Yami moping in a corner. Now Kaiba wondered if it was true. He snorted and pivoted on his heel.

As he glided his way through the crowd, no one could have called Kaiba drunk. His voice was as cutting as ever, although his movements weren't quite as precise as his diction. Kaiba himself would have been affronted by the suggestion he was less than sober; he'd been attending business parties since what had passed for a childhood in Gozaburo's household.

He wasn't worried about Yami, he certainly wasn't sympathetic. If anything he was annoyed at having wasted his evening on this ridiculous game of hide and seek.

Which didn't explain how he ended up outside with Yami, two refugees from the party.

"Running out?" Yami asked as Kaiba strolled out of the house, although to be fair Kaiba had managed to make it look like a choice rather than an escape.

Kaiba shrugged. "It's not my party."

"I'm glad you came."

"Bullshit. If you wanted to see me the logical thing to do would have been to have invited me in advance."

Yami could have pointed out that it had been a surprise party; that Yugi had issued the invitations or even that he had felt like something was missing until Kaiba had shown up. Instead he smiled. "How were we supposed to know you'd grace it with your presence? It's not like it concerned Mokuba or your precious corporation. Maybe we didn't feel like chasing after you just so you could hurl insults at us until some cosmic apple dropped on your head to give you a clue."

"You talk about friendship a lot, Yami. But your friends haven't managed to notice that you're not exactly celebrating your miraculous existence. And you can't think much of them either, since you're hiding out here."

"Don't insult them!" Yami surprised them both by swinging at Kaiba. He practically had to leap off his feet to do it, but his fist connected, somewhat wildly, with Kaiba's jaw.

"Why did I do that?" Yami asked, staring at his hand; it was still curled into a fist.

"Because you're drunk?" Kaiba suggested, resisting the urge to rub his jaw.

"Why did you let me?"

"Because I owe you. I'll even give you some good advice. Next time, if you plan on hitting anyone taller than you – which is basically everyone – and you want it to count, go for the gut."

"I can't image that being a problem for you," Yami said, trying not to sound like he was sulking.

Kaiba's smile matched anything Yami had produced for bitterness.

"I have experience all right. I wasn't always this tall."

"You're wrong about them, anyway. They're my friends. I love them. And they have noticed… why do you think they threw this party?" Yami leaned back against the wall. "The Egyptians brewed ale. I must have drunk it, but I can't remember. Just one more item to add to the list of things I'll never know."

"Just as well. You're obviously an annoyingly maudlin drunk. Another beer and you'll probably start crying on my shoulder."

"Shut up, Kaiba!" Yami said.

Even in the dark, Yami's eyes were flashing. Kaiba smiled to hear that commanding note return to his voice, not that he had any intention of obeying it.

"I had a mission. Now it's gone," Yami said, but Kaiba noticed he didn't sound as defeated.

"So find a new one," Kaiba replied.

"If god stands in my way, defeat him and move on?" Yami said with his first sincere smile of the night.

Kaiba nodded.

"So what kind of drunk are you?" Yami asked. "I'd say the angry, assholish type, but who could tell the difference, then?"

"Of course I'm not drunk," Kaiba said, waving his arms slightly too expansively. "You name the liquor and I've had it. Sake or shochu for the initial pitch so we can impress our foreign guests with our exotic beverages. Whiskey, gin or bourbon for the negotiations because they go with the stench of cigar smoke and backroom deals – and of course, champagne for the public celebration so we can all toast to the profitability of death."

"Oh," Yami said blankly. "I thought you were talking about Kaiba Corporation. _Your_ Kaiba Corporation, I mean."

"I was. I am. Old or new, it's all a part of me." Kaiba stared at the bottle in his hand. "Never had beer before, though. It tastes like shit." With one fluid motion he hurled it across the street. Both he and Yami jumped slightly at the sound of shattering glass.

They faced each other. Yami realized how close they were standing. He pulled Kaiba's head towards his with his free hand; the other still clutched his bottle. He pressed their lips together for a moment.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Kaiba asked, lifting his head from Yami's. His breathing was unnaturally loud in the still night air.

"Some of the kids were stealing kisses when I left – or trying to. I succeeded."

Kaiba decided he hated Yami's smug smirk.

"I wanted to see what it felt like," Yami continued "Isn't that what people do when they're alive?"

"Are you telling me I was a fucking convenient way to experiment?" Kaiba snarled.

Even in the semi-darkness, he could see Yami's grin widen.

"Why not? You keep saying you're here to pay off a debt. Consider that part of the bill. It's not like you care, anyway. I couldn't have asked for a better first kiss – or the first one I remember, anyway."

"Then you should do it thoroughly."

Kaiba smashed his mouth down on Yami's. The smaller man opened his in surprise. As if he'd planned his attack around that reaction, Kaiba's tongue darted inside. It was a gesture caught halfway between a kiss and a challenge – and it left both of them slightly breathless.

"That's better," Kaiba said, releasing Yami.

"Are you that desperate to find a game that you can finally win?" Yami asked, his smirk back on his lips as if Kaiba hadn't just tried to kiss it away.

"Are you admitting I was better?"

"Never," Yami said. He looked down, surprised to find that his beer bottle was still in his hand. He took a swig. "That's right, you seem to have dropped yours."

Kaiba laughed. "I can't wait until you find out about another thing alive people do, well the stupid ones anyway: it's called getting hung-over."

Kaiba glanced across the street. His car gleamed in the streetlight. Yami wondered if he had parked it there for effect.

"Well, it's been… something. But I have to go to work tomorrow," Kaiba said, taking a step away from Yami.

"It's the weekend," Yami pointed out.

"Half-day. If I get in by 6:00 in the morning, I can get home by the time Mokuba's had breakfast and played a video game or two." Kaiba wondered why he was bothering to explain himself.

Kaiba glanced from the car to the house and back. Yami smiled, recognizing Kaiba's dilemma. Kaiba wanted to drive; the convertible looked made for taking corners fast – but he clearly didn't want to get behind the wheel with Mokuba sitting next to him. It was as close as he could come to admitting that his reflexes might be operating at less than their usual peak condition. Kaiba reached into his pocket, pulled out his cell phone and barked an order into it. His voice softened for his second call.

"The limo's coming for Mokuba in half an hour. He's thrilled he's getting to stay so late."

"You should wait too."

Kaiba laughed. "They haven't made the car I can't handle yet – especially one I customized myself. Besides, I have to be at work tomorrow. Someone has to run Kaiba Corporation." He headed off towards his car.

"I thought Kaiba Corporation ran you," Yami called after him.

Kaiba turned. His smile was as sharp and white as a knife's edge. "Jealous, Yami? That I still have a mission while all you're doing is whining, instead of going out and finding one of your own?"

"I had one. It's over."

Maybe it was the alcohol in Kaiba's bloodstream or maybe the sadness in Yami's voice jogged his memory, but Kaiba suddenly remembered he was supposed to be helping Yami. His smirk softened to a true smile. "How could it be your mission when you were following other people's agenda the whole time? You can't be handed a destiny – you have to forge it for yourself. And when you do, you'll hold onto it with all your might, no matter what stands in your way."

Kaiba jumped into his car and sped away, leaving Yami staring after him, alone on the empty street, suddenly aware of the noise spilling out from the party behind him.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this and making sure Kaiba stayed at the party long enough to get believably buzzed. **_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Okay, I admit it… I've always wanted to write a scene that involved Kaiba and Yami getting drunk, or at least a little tipsy, but it never fit into a story believably before. Then, in the previous chapter Jounouchi suggested throwing a party and I was like: "YES! This is my chance!" I could picture Yami becoming a bit maudlin, as Kaiba puts it, and being a bit more openly mournful about feeling stranded in this time, especially since he keeps trying to reassure Yugi that everything's fine. And I have no doubt Kaiba would be even more obnoxious than usual, if that's possible. Anyway, I had fun writing it. I hope it was fun to read.

**Anzu Note:** Anzu gets bashed so regularly and is so often portrayed as a shrieking harpy, that I feel guilty every time I have her say anything even remotely sharp-tongued. But honestly, given that Kaiba walked in, came up to Yugi and within three sentences managed to insult both Yugi and Yami, I can't imagine her doing anything other than standing up for her friends and giving Kaiba a piece of her mind.

**Public Service Announcement Note:** I realize that drinking and driving is a bad idea. But Kaiba isn't exactly a poster-boy for making good choices. I can easily see him as the kind of casually reckless, of-course-I-can handle-it guy who'd never admit he might not be totally in control and that includes drinking and driving.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal. The link is on my biopage.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really appreciate comments. They help me figure out what's working and what isn't, and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page – and I can't express how encouraging it is to hear from you. Please review.**_


	6. The Princess Diaries

**MANGA NOTE:** In the beginning of the manga, before Yugi assembles the Puzzle, Jounouchi and Honda bully Yugi a lot. Jounouchi steals a piece of the Puzzle that Yugi is working on just for kicks. Then Yugi defends them after Tetsu Ushio, the hall monitor from hell, beats them up, even though Yugi knows by standing up to Ushio, he'll get beaten just as badly. Yugi's courage impresses Jounouchi and he dives into the high school swimming pool to retrieve the Puzzle piece, returns it to Yugi and the rest is history…

* * *

**CHAPTER 6: THE PRINCESS DIARIES**

THE PRINCESS DIARIES: Comedy, circa 2001. The main plot features Anne Hathaway in her debut as Mia Thermopolis, a gawky teenager turned into the potential heir to the Genovian throne. And then there's a totally insignificant subplot, concerning Mia's search for a kiss that will lift her foot off the ground in imitation of countless classic movie heroines.

_MORAL: Even if you manage to achieve that elusive, almost perfect, first kiss, what happens when your feet thud back to Earth?_

* * *

Yugi wasn't surprised that Jounouchi was his first visitor the morning after the party. He had to admit that Honda and Jounouchi had been right about one thing: there was very little to clean up and nothing had been damaged or destroyed.

Jounouchi pitched in, helping him bag up the empty bottles in the living room. "Do you think it helped Yami?" Jounouchi asked as he took the bag, tied it off and set it by the door.

Yugi lifted his hands, palms facing upwards, then dropped them to wipe down a table-top. "I'm not sure. I hope so. Yami told me it meant a lot knowing how much we all care about him. And he spent a lot of time talking to Kaiba. That seemed to help too. He was much more cheerful when he came back inside." Yugi made sure his slight smile stayed in place.

"That's another thing! Why does he keep ditching us to talk to Kaiba?"

"I'm glad he has someone to talk to, even if it isn't me." Yugi answered, his voice a little too loud.

"You're talking to me, buddy. You don't have to pretend you're okay with it," Jounouchi said.

Yugi looked up at his friend and smiled. "You're the best, Jounouchi. I don't know how I feel, and that's the truth. I'm glad Kaiba is helping him. Really. I just wish I was, too."

"But you're his best friend, not Kaiba! You used to share everything."

Yugi bit his lip. He returned the sponge to the kitchen, came back and said, "Maybe that's why Yami's talking to him instead of to me. I mean… it's kind of weird being separate, not automatically knowing what he's thinking or feeling. Maybe Yami needs to get used to it, too." Yugi shook his head. Stalks of golden hair swung from side to side. He bent down to stuff paper plates and used cups in another garbage bag. It was easier to talk with his hands full. "Yami's helped me so much. And now all I can do is give him whatever space he needs to work things out. It feels like it's not enough. But Yami won't be happy with any answer he doesn't figure out himself. I just need to be patient and have faith in him. I have to show him that my friendship and trust is something that hasn't changed." Yugi shook his head again. "If I wasn't so weak, I'd know how to make him feel better."

"You? Weak? You're kidding, right?" Jounouchi said, grabbing Yugi by the shoulders and swinging him until they were standing face to face. The half filled bag dropped out of Yugi's hands. Jounouchi let go of Yugi to shake his fist in the air, gesturing to the empty space. "I know all the shit me and Honda used to say to you, but you know better, Yugi… you have to!"

Yugi ducked his head, then straightened up to look at his friend. He was tempted to laugh off his comment and reassure Jounouchi, but he'd spent too much time lately avoiding talking to Yami. He couldn't repeat that with another friend, especially when he wasn't sure he was doing the right thing with Yami, either. "I didn't know what would happen when we came back. I was so glad Yami was with us, I couldn't think about anything else. And then on the plane, I started wondering a little. Yami's the awesome one, not me."

"Wait…" Jounouchi said. "You were afraid you wouldn't matter to us if Yami was around permanently?"

Yugi hesitated, looked away again and nodded.

Jounouchi winced. He didn't know what to say. He was a herd animal; it was the reason, he realized suddenly, that at his most self-destructive he'd been part of a gang. Even when he'd been convinced he was going nowhere, he'd wanted company along the way. Jounouchi ran a hand through his hair, making it messier than ever. Comparing his friends felt disloyal, but he decided that Yugi had to know. "You got it backwards, buddy. You were my friend first, before any of this started. Me and Honda… we were jerks… we didn't deserve you. But you stood up to that bully of a hall monitor for us, knowing he was going to kick your ass but good. All I could think was that you were the coolest kid I knew. I wanted to be your friend for real. I wanted to be as brave and as tough as you."

Yugi bent down and picked the garbage bag up again, hoping Jounouchi wouldn't notice how red his face had gotten. "But Yami's always been the confident one. And think of how many times he's saved us. All I did was get beat up."

"Yeah, Yami saved me. He's a great friend too. The best. But at first I was never sure whether he was going to add me to his list of people to mess with if I stepped out of line."

"Yami's not like that!"

"Not anymore. And that's because of you, buddy. You make everyone around you better. Like the other day with Bakura. Any of us could have gone to see how Bakura was doing, we've all been worried – but you're the only one who actually did something about it. That's rare, Yugi."

Jounouchi took the bag from Yugi, tied it off, picked up the second bag and took them both outside. He came back and said, "So how is Bakura doing, anyway?"

"Okay. I think company would help. I was glad he came to the party, even if he didn't stay long."

"He's another one that should be turning cartwheels."

"He's all alone in that apartment," Yugi pointed out.

"That's a hell of an improvement over sharing it with that psycho spirit of his."

Yugi shrugged. "I guess even happy changes take getting used to. But just like with Yami, we have to believe he'll find his way."

Jounouchi smiled. "True that." He glanced around the room. "And even that eagle-eyed grandfather of yours isn't going to spot anything wrong in here. He won't have a clue."

Yugi smiled. Jounouchi looked so proud of himself for fooling Sugoroku; Yugi couldn't tell Jounouchi that he'd cleared the party with his grandfather in advance.

It took Yami a few days to work his way back to Kaiba Corporation. He'd started working at the shop. Sugoroku had been right. Predicting what people would like and picking – among an endless sea of trends – the next big one, was a game. The elements of strategy were the same, whether you applied it to the next individual that walked in the store or to what Sugoroku (and probably Kaiba) would have called the mass market. It seemed that his talent – or luck – hadn't deserted him. He was cheered by the thought that amid so many unknowns, gaming was in his blood. It had survived the loss of his destiny.

Yami shook his head and focused on the next customer. Working here was fun, as all games were. But it wasn't enough. What Yami lacked was Kaiba's unyielding conviction that his work was crucial. For Yami, the store was a diversion, not a calling. He remembered Kaiba yelling at him to find a new mission. Kaiba had screamed it just before they'd kissed.

And yet, the customers mattered. He liked talking about the games the store sold, helping each person pick the one that spoke to them, that answered a deeper need than mere amusement.

It was the times when he was alone in the shop that bothered him. The memory of Kaiba's body pressed against his own surfaced a little too easily. Yami found himself touching his lips occasionally, recapturing the feel of Kaiba's mouth moving over his, until he wrenched his thoughts back to the present, before anyone noticed his abstraction. That he had kissed his rival was one more thing he hadn't shared with Yugi. Yami wondered if Kaiba had forgotten. It certainly seemed that way.

All his uneasy, uncertain feelings coalesced into annoyance. How dare Kaiba make him feel so alive – so uncomfortably, delightfully aware of his own body – only to disappear back into his office as if he'd never come to Yami's party... as if they'd never kissed? Kaiba was the only person who'd invade someone's mouth just to score a point – and then refuse to acknowledge it had happened, Yami thought resentfully.

Across town, Kaiba drummed his fingers on his desk irritably. He couldn't even blame it on the alcohol. He'd drunk beverages with a far higher proof at a far younger age under Gozaburo's tutelage, his lower body mass making drunkenness a forgone conclusion. He could remember the first time it had happened. He'd finally finished studying. It had been very late. Gozaburo had walked into his room followed by the inevitable servants, the ones who avoided looking him in the face. They'd stacked his desk with a variety of alcoholic beverages and left. Kaiba had known better than to ask.

"It's time to start training you to keep your head at business meetings – and your mouth shut," Gozaburo had barked.

As with most of the things Gozaburo had said, Kaiba was never sure what was true.

"Drink up, boy."

Kaiba had obeyed. Gozaburo had waited for any sign that the alcohol was affecting Kaiba – the slightest slurring of his words, a laugh that seemed out of place, an incautious exclamation. Then he'd pounced, that time and all the times that had followed. Kaiba's befuddled state had made each beating even more surreal. Gozaburo's roars that he'd kill his adoptive son before he let him blab corporate secrets had mixed with Kaiba own screams in a nightmarish brew.

It had felt like defeat. Kaiba hadn't been able to mask his drunkenness. Worse, he couldn't even restrain his own howls of pain, although he'd managed to draw the line at actually shedding tears. Kaiba would have liked to write Gozaburo off as a sadist, pure and simple. But nothing about their relationship had ever been pure or simple.

It had been effective. Kaiba was so deeply conditioned that the only affect alcohol usually had was to render him even less communicative than usual.

Until the night of Yami's party.

He'd felt safe standing in that alley, safe enough to confide in Yami, after a fashion. Oh, they'd traded their usual allotment of insults, but there'd been enough truth mixed in to make Kaiba wonder what had happened… why he'd been much more unguarded, why he'd relished every moment. Why Yami's presence… his honesty… had somehow, once again, proved more powerful than all of his adoptive father's training.

Kaiba had enjoyed pressing Yami against the wall. Even days later, he was still savoring the feeling of their lips meeting, of tasting Yami for the first time. As far as kisses went, his hadn't been a bad one, Kaiba reflected, pleased that he'd significantly improved on Yami's performance in that arena by the second round. No one would have guessed it was Kaiba's first as well. Yami certainly hadn't. Kaiba had studied kissing of course, just as he'd studied almost everything that could influence human behavior, but nothing had ever convinced him that it was worth his time to explore it more personally – or that the benefits outweighed the obvious drawbacks.

Until the night of Yami's party.

Kaiba sighed. Yami had a way of confounding all his careful strategies. That Yami had turned into a self-pitying, alcohol-infused mess had been somewhat predictable. That Kaiba was still thinking about the kiss they'd shared several days later, was not. But Kaiba was adept at pushing aside inconvenient emotions (which was most of them) to focus at the task at hand – in this case, his upcoming tournament.

He grunted when Yami walked into his office. It was a carefully noncommittal noise.

Kaiba reminded himself that he wasn't going to ask where Yami had been. He'd been too busy to notice his absence anyway.

They glared at each other for a moment; two cats having a staring contest. Neither was willing to blink first.

"You're here at work. Of course. Some things never change." Yami said, conceding the game.

"It's only been four days. What momentous difference were you expecting?" Kaiba replied.

"Awww… have you been counting them?" Yami replied, pleased to have evened the exchange.

Kaiba shrugged. "It's Wednesday. I'm at work. You hardly needed to walk all the way here to confirm that fact."

"I was at work, too," Yami said.

Kaiba approved of the note of pride that had slipped into Yami's voice. He raised an eyebrow; it was an invitation to continue the conversation.

"I've been helping out in the game shop. I had to do something. Sugoroku insists that I'm part of his family; he keeps reminding me that I saved his life when he was a young man; that Yugi would never have been born without my help that day."

Kaiba restrained a groan. He told himself that he should've gotten used to mysticism being on the table any time Yami came over.

"But no matter what he says, I can't stay there without helping out." Yami shook his head. "He even offered to pay me."

"You turned him down," Kaiba said. It wasn't a question. "Good. I have a better offer. Don't worry, it's not permanent, you can even run the old guy's whole dump in your spare time."

"You want me to become a Kaiba Corporation employee?" Yami asked, ready to refuse.

"No."

Yam shook his head wondering why talking to Kaiba was always such a confusing and exasperating experience.

"I want you to be a consultant."

"Doing what?"

"We have several games in development. I want you to try and break them so I can measure how long it takes."

"I won't take your charity any more than I would Sugoroku's. In fact, less."

"Please get a clue. This is a straight-up business proposition. I could hire Mai Kujaku again, but frankly, you're better." Kaiba grinned. "And this way when I get around to testing the expert levels myself, I'll have a mark to top."

"Boastful as always. Why don't you wait until you actually beat me at something… oh wait, that'll be never."

Kaiba grunted.

"Would I be able to play the games with Yugi?" Yami asked, his face lighting up at the prospect of sharing something with his partner after days of keeping so much hidden.

Kaiba frowned. Yami wasn't going to be a duelist worthy of being his rival again until he had worked through whatever was eating him – and Yugi was part of that. Kaiba knew he should be satisfied that Yami had taken the bait and called it a day. But seeing Yami so excited at the thought of playing games with someone else, even Yugi, stung in ways Kaiba hadn't expected. _He_ was Yami's rival, not Yugi. It wasn't a title Kaiba was willing to relinquish easily.

Kaiba shrugged as if Yami's question was too trivial to merit his full attention. "You'd be a consultant for Kaiba Corporation. You can bring in anyone you want, as long as you notify me and everyone fills out the proper paperwork and releases. My secretary can give you the forms on your way out." He turned to the computer for a moment to notify her of his arrangements.

"I never had to sign anything before," Yami pointed out.

"You've never been a consultant, either. I can assure you that Yugi filled out an application, including a standard release form, for every tournament he participated in. Although you idiots seem to forget it until you need a helicopter or a plane – I run an international corporation. That means I follow standard business practices."

Yami couldn't help laughing at the idea of any of Kaiba's actions falling under the heading of "standard business practices." "You can come off it. I was born last week, not yesterday. I don't remember having to fill out a lot of forms when we rushed to rescue you from your own Board of Directors – and we certainly were testing your virtual reality products then."

Kaiba smirked. "The difference is that I didn't invite you."

"Your vice president did," Yami replied with equal smugness.

"Believe me, I discussed the matter with him extensively, afterwards," Kaiba said sourly.

"And loudly, I'm sure." Yami paused, then added in a quieter tone, "Thank you, Kaiba. I'd be pleased to accept."

"You can messenger the signed forms later. Or you can bring them back yourself, since you seem to have remembered the way."

It was a smart business decision, but Kaiba couldn't shake the uncomfortable knowledge that he hadn't made it in cold blood. He'd just ensured that Yami would occasionally return to his corporate office, even if only to drop off a completed game. Had that been the real payoff for him all along? Kaiba supposed he was still the one pulling the strings, but in another, surprisingly real way, Yami was continuing to jerk him around as well.

Kaiba glanced at Yami. "At least you'll be able to buy some clothes of your own."

Yami looked down. He was in a sleeveless black sweatshirt of Yugi's and the pants and boots he'd returned from Egypt in. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing? Not everyone shares your allegiance to ridiculously long overcoats." Yami had to admit though that Kaiba's trenchcoat du jour, white with blue-gray lapels opened over a navy turtleneck, suited him perfectly - and required no justification.

"It's not yours. It's Yugi's. You're not him." Kaiba gave Yami a wolf's grin. "Maybe it's just as well that you'll both be testing my games. This way I can see which one of you is better."

"Why? Are you planning on fixing your sights on Yugi instead, since you keep insisting I'm not up to your level anymore since we returned from Egypt? Are you in the market for a new rival?" Yami demanded. He was surprised to find out how much he hated the idea of Kaiba claiming anyone else. He glared at Kaiba and took a quick breath, needing a moment to get a handle on the hot, uncomfortable, unfamiliar feeling that was suddenly pulsing its way through his veins.

"You're the person I ache to beat. But I'm not going to do it until you're at your best," Kaiba said.

"Are you worried about losing to us both?" Underneath his habitual arrogant smile, Yami was comforted by Kaiba's vehemence that he was Kaiba's one and only rival – and shaken that he'd needed Kaiba's reassurance at all.

There was another pause. Kaiba broke it, asking, "Since you didn't come for a job interview, what did you wander by for?"

"This," Yami said, walking around Kaiba's desk and swiveling his rival's chair to face him once again. Yami leaned down and pressed their lips together. He lifted his head. Kaiba hadn't moved; he still looked slightly off-balanced, anyway. If Yami had paused he would have noticed Kaiba's uncharacteristic, uncertain expression and wondered what it meant. Instead he blurted out, "What kind of jerk kisses someone then pretends it never happened?"

"Maybe the same kind of jerk as someone who kisses someone and then says it's an experiment?" Kaiba countered.

"Kaiba…" Yami said, remembering – and regretting – that he'd done just that.

Kaiba liked seeing that blank, half ashamed look on Yami's face; he savored the knowledge he'd dragged Yami down to his level. "Your kissing technique has improved since last time. I didn't have you pegged as a quick learner."

Yami's eyes narrowed. "Your mistake. Maybe I just want to prove that natural talent counts for more than experience."

"Research," Kaiba said, finding out that he couldn't quite lie to Yami, even while refusing to admit that it had been his first kiss as well. "And it'll never beat both." Kaiba grabbed Yami's shoulders and jerked his rival to him.

Yami fell forward, ending up splayed across Kaiba's chest as the taller man leaned back in his chair. It was impossible for Yami to get leverage or move or do anything but be totally, completely aware of Kaiba's mouth pressing against his, of Kaiba's hand knotting in his hair. The hunger Yami remembered from the party flared to new life, growing with a mind and will of its own, fed by the way they moved so perfectly in sync with each other, heated by the friction of their bodies rubbing against together, by the way they couldn't stop. Yami moaned, the guttural sound rising from deep within his throat. As if it was a signal, Kaiba let him go. As Yami got up and took a step backwards, he had to admit that Kaiba's smug grin was well earned.

Kaiba made sure his smirk stayed firmly in place until Yami was safely on the other side of a closed office door. Then he leaned back in his chair and pressed his palms against his closed eyes as if he could rub out the memory of Yami's face, flushed with desire or lust or something that seemed outside of their usual rivalry and yet, at the same time, was a part of it.

Earlier, Kaiba had refused to write off their first kiss as an alcohol infused aberration. He had even less explanation for the second. Kaiba had nothing left now… nothing but the remembered softness of Yami's lips, nothing but the feel of the hard planes of Yami's back under his hands as he'd pressed Yami to him, as if they could melt into each other's bones. Kaiba dropped his hands. He opened his eyes to an empty room and groaned.

Kaiba shook his head, stunned by a sudden realization: Yami had come to see him. Yami had weakened first, he'd wanted a sign that Kaiba hadn't written off their kiss as a drunken moment, or worse, had forgotten it had happened at all. For once, Kaiba had gotten under deeply Yami's skin. Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. This felt like winning.

But beneath the ignoble triumph, something warmer lurked, softening Kaiba's howls to a chuckle and then to a genuine smile.

Yami had come to see him.

Yami exited the office and made a beeline for the elevator, forgetting Kaiba's secretary and whatever papers he was supposed to review and sign. Ms Tamashiro sighed and made a note to messenger them over later.

Yami rode down the elevator, accompanied by the feel of Kaiba's shirt beneath his fingers. It had been so soft. Would Kaiba's skin feel just as silken? Would it blend with the velvety smoothness of his hair, with the warmth of his lips, the final element needed to complete an unknown puzzle? Yami shook his head and left the building.

It wasn't until he was on his way home and the brisk evening air had cleared his head a little that Yami had a realization of his own: in those strange moments when he'd had his arms wrapped around Kaiba and his tongue down Kaiba's throat, he'd felt more himself than at any time since gaining his body. Briefly, he'd been free, in charge and sure what he was doing was the absolute right thing. Now, Yami felt confused all over again… over what had happened… over the fact that anything had happened at all. But even that paled next to those wonderful moments of clarity, when he'd known he where he belonged, when nothing had mattered except Kaiba's lips, except Kaiba's body pressed against his.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and for helping me keep track of when garbage bags were being picked up and dropped.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Remind me never to have characters spend time cleaning up a room while talking. My internal dialog during the whole scene went something like this: Did Yugi just pick up a garbage bag without getting rid of the one he was holding? Oh great, did Jounouchi just take a garbage bag outside, forgetting the one he's tied off and put by the door at the start of the scene? Uh-oh, now Yugi's picked up a sponge. Now I've got to track a sponge, too. Why did I give Yugi a sponge? Couldn't he have just kept playing with garbage bags?

**Kaiba and Yami Note:** In an odd way, Kaiba's and Yami's thoughts are in sync in that both of them were irritated with the other for keeping their distance after they kissed, and yet each was reluctant to make the first move themselves.

**Kaiba Alcohol Note:** In the previous chapter, Kaiba doesn't understand why Jounouchi is embarrassed when Mokuba is at the party and thinks, "Surely they weren't planning on force-feeding Mokuba alcohol?" As soon as I wrote that sentence, I wondered what Kaiba's first experience with alcohol might have been like to make that thought pop so readily into his head.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal. The link is on my biopage.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really appreciate comments. They help me figure out what's working and what isn't, and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page – and I can't express how encouraging it is to hear from you. Please review.**_


	7. The Shop Around the Corner

**CHAPTER 7: THE SHOP AROUND THE CORNER**

THE SHOP AROUND THE CORNER: Romantic comedy, circa 1940. In the days when snail mail ruled, Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullavan played bickering co-workers by day who fell in love as anonymous pen-pals by night, only to return each morning to their jobs at the shop around the corner for another round of arguments.

_MORAL: Sometimes the setting can be a character as well._

* * *

It was his grandfather's store. Anzu should have expected Yugi to be there. But even though Yugi had been the one to tell her Yami's schedule, she'd managed to overlook him again. It was, she reflected, getting to be a bad habit of hers. Except Yugi, in his own unobtrusive way, had gotten a quiet revenge by sneaking into her thoughts when she least expected to find him there. Sometimes she tried to focus on Yami only to realize she was thinking about Yugi, instead.

It made sense in a way. Yugi was the one who came to her dance classes, who walked her home afterwards, who remembered the dates of her recitals. But Yami had been her first crush, and she wasn't sure she was ready to give that up. It should have been simpler now that they were two people in two bodies, now that she could look at them side by side. It wasn't. Anzu couldn't chase away the nagging feeling that if she could just see Yami alone it would all sort itself out in her head. And then she could help Yami, just like she'd helped him find and remember the name he'd later rejected.

Yugi beamed at her when she walked in. He peppered her with questions and showed her their latest stock. Anzu couldn't help but notice, yet again, that Yugi was the one who wanted her attention, not Yami.

Yami had greeted her; he'd smiled. But he was almost as far out of reach as when he'd been a spirit, when she'd expected him to be closer, their connection stronger. Yugi glanced from Anzu to Yami and back. He made an excuse to check on the inventory and headed for the storeroom in the back of the store. Anzu smiled and sighed at the same time. Yugi was supposed to be a brilliant strategist. He had to know that leaving her and Yami alone was a risky move. But Yugi wouldn't be Yugi if he wasn't thinking of what was best for someone else – even when he went against his own interests. With Yami, everything felt like the next move in his next game. Yugi didn't plot things out that way – or maybe he just didn't have an endgame in mind besides her happiness. Anzu tried to decide which attitude was more attractive.

"How are you?" she asked, coming over to stand in front of Yami.

Yami leaned forward and put his elbows on the counter. He rested his chin against his closed fists. It was hard to tell if he was decreasing the distance between them or establishing a border.

"I'm fine."

Anzu met his gaze. Yami stifled a sigh. It seemed unfair to escape from being confronted by Kaiba's skeptical blue eyes in his office, only to meet up with another pair of equally blue, equally doubting ones at home.

Yami drew in a breath and released it. "I mean that I will be."

Anzu's gaze sharpened. Yami paused, waiting for a strike to the jugular that didn't come. He should have remembered: the eyes might have been the same color, but Anzu's were kinder. And he'd forgotten how easy it was to talk to Anzu. "I'm just taking my time to figure things out."

"That's all anyone wants. We know how hard it must be, having everything change." Anzu shook her head; the sweep of her brown hair hid her face, briefly. Even Yami's voice was distant, as if he was speaking from inside the Puzzle he still wore around his neck. She tried to think of something to bring him back to them. "We all have faith in you. I know you can do anything you set your mind to."

Yami's lips twitched slightly. It was the most genuine smile he'd given all day. "Kaiba reminded me that most people have to figure out what meaning to give their lives – they just do it without so much drama."

"He's a fine one to talk about causing drama," Anzu huffed.

"He seemed to think it was proof that, despite my doubts, I'd joined the human race – something he considered a dubious honor." Yami chuckled. "I think he ended that particular rant by telling me to get over myself."

"What a horrible thing to say!" Anzu seemed to puff up like a porcupine about to shoot its quills.

"Yes, it was, wasn't it? But it very well might be true."

"Well, in that case, you should pick up another human habit and cut yourself some slack."

"Is that another truth?" Yami asked.

Anzu nodded. "It's the most important one. Be as good to yourself as you are to the rest of us." Anzu leaned across the counter and kissed him good-bye. She left the store as gracefully as if she was exiting a stage.

Yugi stayed in the back room until the door had shut behind her.

"It's okay if you like her," Yugi said as he joined Yami again behind the counter.

Yami almost answered, _"Of course I like her. She's one of my best friends!"_ but an awareness of Kaiba's lips on his own stopped him. He now knew what kind of "like" Yugi meant. "You're the one that wants Anzu, not me. Why don't you ask her out yourself instead of suggesting that I do?"

Yugi looked down. "What if she likes you more?" he mumbled.

"I don't think that's true. But either way, isn't it better to know?"

"I guess." Yugi looked far from convinced. "It's silly, isn't it? It's not like I'm planning to ask out a dragon."

Yami smiled, but he couldn't help thinking that he preferred the dragon to the princess. Kaiba had spent a lot of time trying to highlight all the ways he differed from Yugi. Here was one that hadn't even crossed his rival's mind.

Yami had taken to walking through Domino when he wasn't in the shop, reorienting himself to the streets he'd walked through in Yugi's body. He wasn't sure how he'd ended up at the harbor after leaving work for the day, but he liked looking at the water stretching in front of him, as endless as the Egyptian sands. The pier was deserted, just as it had been when Malik had forced Yugi and Jounouchi to fight there. The boat for Duelists Kingdom had left from the docks nearby; Jounouchi had almost drowned when he'd jumped overboard to try and retrieve the cards that had made Exodia come to life in time to shatter Kaiba's heart. The memories the view conjured up weren't uniformly pleasant, but they were undeniably his – and that made them precious.

Yami looked up, unsurprised, as Kaiba approached. It was the first time he'd wandered this far alone since his return. He wondered if Kaiba's appearance meant that his rival had been keeping him under surveillance, then realized with a chuckle it probably did.

"Stalk much?" he said as the taller duelist approached.

"Don't flatter yourself." Kaiba stood next to Yami, his arms crossed as he joined him in staring at the harbor. "Hard as it is for you to believe, you were not a factor in my schedule. I own this pier."

"Since when?

"Since Battle City. It occurred to me sometime during the whole kidnapping and mind control extravaganza that it would make a good location for a waterside amusement park."

"It's nice to know we weren't wasting your time," Yami said with a smirk.

"I came over today to inspect it."

"That explanation would go over better if you hadn't tracked my movements all through Battle City."

Kaiba smirked. "I was going to add that I was sorry if my explanation deflated your ego, but I can see that's impossible."

"Is it also impossible for you to have a conversation without being an arrogant prick?"

Kaiba shrugged. "Don't know. I've never tried."

They stared at the water for a moment. Neither were sure if the silence was companionable or not.

"I'm not sure how much of that whole memory world was real," Yami admitted, his eyes still on the water.

"Earth to Yami – we were there."

"But we weren't really in the past, not in my past at any rate. We were in a virtual world constructed by Zorc to mirror ancient Egypt."

Kaiba laughed. "So it was just a mass hallucination like I kept telling you."

Yami sighed. "I love the way you keep missing the point."

"As far as I'm concerned, the point is that I was right all along."

Kaiba waited for Yami to take the bait. Instead Yami bit his lip as he stared down into the water. Even his hair seemed to droop as if the effort of holding it at its usual gravity defying angle was suddenly too much. "Even after our battle with Zorc… even after we won… were those what my comrades were really like? Or were they just part of the memory world? Were they as imaginary as everything else? I still don't know what was real."

"Sure you do. The whole ancient world might have been as fake as one of my holograms, but what we went through in there was genuine… you and Yugi and the rest of the loser squad fighting to save the world like it couldn't go on spinning without you. Believe me – your friends are all too annoyingly real."

Yami smiled. "Maybe I do like your point better after all." He leaned over and kissed Kaiba.

"What the hell did you do that for?"

Yami laughed, a lighter, airier sound. "I don't know." He looked around. "An amusement park?"

"And maybe a special effects studio. There's enough empty space here."

"Enough space for what?" Yami asked, more interested by the way Kaiba seemed to be branching out from the duel monsters game that had been so central to both of them than by the specifics of any plans.

As though he had read Yami's thoughts (which admittedly had happened before), Kaiba shrugged and said, "Different applications of holographic technology. Only a fool bases his entire business strategy around one product." Now it was Kaiba's turn to stare at the sea. "I'd like to take a stab at virtual reality again. The Big 5 hijacked and trashed my last attempt at virtual technology, but it still showed promise."

"Except to those of us who almost died there," Yami pointed out.

"And even Noa's virtual world… the original template they used was mine, after all… there are definitely elements that could be incorporated…"

"Besides the elements that almost led to our deaths?"

Kaiba raised his hand, brushing away Yami's comments as though they were a cloud of mosquitoes. "Considering a couple of weeks ago you were bent out of shape over having to live, I'm not sure why you keep harping on dying now. If it makes you feel any better, I'm also planning on a CGI studio to create special effects for movies. Most of the time the effects are so badly done I can't stand to watch them."

Kaiba walked to the empty warehouse, unlocked the padlock and stepped in. It was cool inside. The light filtered in dimly through the soot-stained windows.

"I'm not sure whether to keep the shell and gut the insides or just tear the whole thing down and rebuild."

"Well, given how much you like destruction… and rebuilding." Yami admitted the last reluctantly.

Kaiba grinned and turned to face Yami. "Now who's following who?"

Kaiba leaned Yami against the wall. "Having an abandoned warehouse is convenient," he said, before his lips closed on his rival's.

Yami had to agree. He marveled at how each kiss was different. This one felt deliciously secret, a compound of Kaiba's taste and scent, mingling with the dark light, with the faint muskiness of the unused warehouse, a shell waiting to be reborn.

And Kaiba was standing so close. Yami should have felt trapped, yet all he wanted to do was strain into his confinement instead of fighting against it. He pulled Kaiba even closer, his hands tight against Kaiba's back. Standing like this, each with a leg pressed against the gap in the other's... rubbing then grinding together… each awkward, hurried movement created a friction, a pressure that helped and made the hunger building inside them so much worse, all at the same time. A moan broke from Kaiba's mouth as he pulled his face away. Yami gasped for breath. He leaned his face against Kaiba's shoulder; their legs were still entwined, their clothes uncomfortably confining.

Yami looked up. They stared at each other for a moment, their faces indistinct in the dim light. Neither was quite sure how their kiss had deepened so much, so quickly. Neither wanted to admit to being shaken by it. If this was a game, they were suddenly aware that they'd lost the rulebook along the way, if they'd ever had one in the first place. Kaiba stepped away first. Yami was grateful he had a wall to lean against. Kaiba moved towards the door.

"I notice you've forgotten about checking out the site," Yami said, his voice lightly taunting as he reached Kaiba's side.

Kaiba grinned. "When you see one abandoned pier, you've seen them all." He strolled out of the warehouse and padlocked it behind them, perfectly in control again. Yami tried not to resent Kaiba for matching his own assumption of ease.

Kaiba had left his car by the beginning of the pier. Today's model was a convertible. The hood was down. It was painted the precise shade where dark blue starts to fade into gray. Despite its subdued coloring, it managed to look flashier, and even more expensive than the fire engine red number that Kaiba had driven to Yami's party.

Yami got in and leaned back against the mist-gray leather seats. As the car shot forwards, Kaiba glanced at Yami. His already-wild hair was tousled by the wind; a faint tang of sea salt hung in the air. "I have a theory I want to test. Keep Tuesday open."

Yami nodded. "I'm sure Sugoroku will give me the day off." His voice rose slightly. There was a hint of a question in his tone that Kaiba ignored in favor of zipping in and out of traffic as fast as he could.

Kaiba wasn't sure why he'd chosen to drive Yami home – much less why he'd followed Yami into the game shop once they'd arrived. Yugi was behind the counter. Kaiba nodded to him as he entered.

Yami hugged Yugi. He was suddenly aware of the glaze of sea-salt coating his hair and face, of the thin line of sweat tickling its way down his back. "Let me go upstairs and clean off. Then I'll help you lock up." He glanced at Kaiba, realizing that the other man hadn't moved from his post by the door. Kaiba snorted in response. Yami turned back to Yugi. His partner gave him a thumbs-up sign and a smile. Yami headed for the stairs leading to the apartment upstairs.

"Thank you," Yugi said when Yami had shut the door behind him.

"For what? Driving your little lost lamb home? I had the car out anyway."

"You know I meant more than that," Yugi said with a slight flush.

Kaiba frowned. Yugi expected him to turn on his heel and stalk off, but he made no move to leave. "You don't need to thank me. I owe you as well as Yami."

"You've stood up for us more than once. I'm happy to do the same for you. We're friends, Kaiba," Yugi said seriously.

"Friends? How are we friends? Sugoroku is your grandfather. I'm the guy who tried to kill him."

"I know."

"Then, friend, explain something to me. Why did you stop Yami at Duelists Kingdom? My life shouldn't have been worth more to you than your grandfather's."

Yugi wondered for a moment if Kaiba was trying to chase him out of his own store… or if he actually wanted an answer. Kaiba's face was as hard to read as ever. The casual way he leaned against the wall spoke of boredom, but he kept his eyes drilled on Yugi's face.

"You can't weigh lives like that. Yami had just saved my life. I couldn't let him end yours. I couldn't do that to him. Or you."

"Me? After Death-T you couldn't have thought I deserved another chance."

"It wasn't a matter of whether you deserved a chance," Yugi said with his usual earnestness. "I thought you needed one."

"You had the nerve to pity me…" Kaiba snarled, moving swiftly forward.

"No!" Yugi said quickly. "I mean… do you pity Yami?"

Kaiba settled back against the wall. "Of course not. If he needed pity, he wouldn't be worth my time."

"But you're giving him a hand, aren't you?"

Kaiba scowled. "This is a stupid conversation," he declared.

"You started it!" Yugi blurted out. He blushed at how childish his words sounded.

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed.

"And Yami told me about having us test games for you," Yugi added. "You should have seen his face. It was the first real conversation we've had since we came back. And we've never played together. Now we'll get a chance. If you want to call that paying a debt, I'm not going to argue as long as you let me thank you for what you've done for him."

Kaiba's lips turned downwards, his brows drew together. Yami may have agreed to test Kaiba's games just so he could play them with Yugi, but Kaiba was the one he kept coming to visit, confiding things in a way that was new to both of them. They'd kissed. The last thing Kaiba wanted was Yugi's thanks, as though he and Yami still spoke with the same mouth, when that wasn't true any longer. It was time they both admitted it.

"And all you feel is gratitude? Not the slightest bit upset at being out of the loop for once? Or bugged that I know something you don't?"

Yugi flushed. In three sentences Kaiba had made him acknowledge something to himself that all of Jounouchi's well meaning ranting hadn't. He'd wanted Yami to talk to him, first. It stung that he hadn't.

"Afraid it'll smudge your good guy image if you admit it?" Kaiba pressed.

Yugi drew in a breath. "It's not about that," he said, needing to remind himself as well as Kaiba. "Would I like to know what Yami's feeling? Would I like to be the one helping him? More than anything. Does it hurt? It sure does. But I'm not pushing my problems off on Yami. Not when he's dealing with plenty of his own. I want what's best for him. He's like my…" Yugi paused before continuing. It felt like Kaiba had a monopoly on the word. "I've never had a brother, but that's what Yami feels like. So all that matters to me is him feeling better."

Kaiba scowled, then nodded his head in acknowledgement. "You might not have much practice at being a brother, but you've grasped the most important part." Kaiba raised two fingers to his forehead, an unfamiliar note of respect in both his words and his gesture. It was the same salute he'd given Yami as he'd flown off from the ruins of Alcatraz.

Kaiba pivoted. Trench coat flying, he strode from the store. Yugi stood there, staring at the closed door, until Yami came back downstairs and they closed the store together.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this and helping me keep track of when the characters were getting in and out of Kaiba's car.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Although obviously Yami has the biggest adjustment to make, somewhere along the way it occurred to me that all the other characters will also have some recalibrations to make. Anzu has a crush on Yami in the early manga episodes. But by the end of the series, things aren't as clear, so I can imagine her trying to sort things out in her own mind now that Yami has his own body – and not quite realizing that she's not the only one with decisions to make. But infatuations aside, I think the most important thing to Anzu will always be helping her friends, so I wanted to end on that note. I also love the idea that both Yugi and Yami are attracted to tall blue-eyed brunettes.

_**Note to theArchivist:**_ Yami is always so mission focused that I thought it would be interesting to explore what would happen if he was basically shoved into living without one. I'm glad you like my Author's Notes. Thanks for the suggestion for keeping track of character movements. I tend to scribble notes in the margins (lol).

_**Note to Guest:**_ Thank you! I try very hard to use what I know of the characters to imagine how they'd act in new situations, until (hopefully) the stories feel almost like a kind of false canon.

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal. The link is on my biopage.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really appreciate comments. They help me figure out what's working and what isn't, and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page – and I can't express how encouraging it is to hear from you. Please review.**_


	8. Sparring Partners

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** In the manga, Yugi calls Sugoroku, Jichan (Grandpa). I use Jichan here because from watching the subtitled anime, and hearing Yugi say it over and over, like Mokuba's "Nisama," it's become part of how I see the character.

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 8: SPARRING PARTNERS**

**SPARRING PARTNERS:** If the #2 movie cliché of all times is that the main couple must meet cute, that they must bicker all the way from the opening theme song to the closing credits is surely #1. It was old when Shakespeare wrote "Much Ado about Nothing" and as new as the latest romcom headed for a theatre near you. But try searching Google for bickering movie couples: the list encompasses everything from the friends forever lightness of "When Harry Met Sally" to the seriously nasty "The War of the Roses."

_MORAL: If bickering can signal anything from true love to deadly hatred, where on the spectrum does any couple lie?_

* * *

Yami liked working in the store with Yugi. It gave them a way to spend time together… time that was uncharged by everything that had happened. They'd lived through an upheaval that had changed their lives twice over – first when Yugi had assembled the Puzzle and now that they'd been separated. But those experiences now formed a chasm instead of a bridge. Yugi had fallen back to his old life – the one that he should have lived all along. He was more confident; he'd learned to trust in his own strength. Yugi's assurance reminded Yami that he'd outlived his purpose, that his place was in the after-life, not standing beside Yugi in his grandfather's game shop.

One thing hadn't changed: Yami still loved Yugi. Yami knew that the distance between them – a gap that ran wider and deeper than mere physical separation – was of his own making. For weeks, he'd avoided Yugi's attempts to talk. Even now, Yami had no idea what to say. It was easier to smile and hold on to the closeness that remained.

And so, the store was perfect. Customers could – and did – walk in and out all day. The lack of privacy was relaxing. Yami could hang out with Yugi without worrying about what to say or keep hidden; there was no time to talk of anything deeper than trivialities.

Yugi felt the distance as keenly as Yami. It reached out to smack him every time he looked at Yami, at the face that was so like his own except for its unhappiness. And the gap between them became more unbridgeable each time he asked Yami how he was doing, each time Yami said "fine" and turned away.

Yugi would have felt a sense of loss, anyway. He wasn't used to being alone. He knew it was for the best, but there were moments when he wasn't sure it was what he wanted, moments when he would have given anything to hear Yami's voice inside his head again, to see his shadowy form when he closed his eyes. Yugi sighed and concentrated on stocking the shelves, trying to be hopeful, trying to remember that Yami had never been beaten yet, not even when he'd been fighting himself, trying to believe it would all work out.

They were together when the messenger from KC arrived and handed over a package. Yami signed for it, and then realized that he'd signed "Yami Mutou" without noticing. Was that how one slipped into a new life? By steps that were too small and too slow-moving to be noticed?

"Cool! Is that our first game?" Yugi asked, peering over his shoulder.

Yami smiled. His small flare of rebellion at how easily and unconsciously it was all happening was forgotten.

"In all the years we've gamed, we've never played against each other, just for fun, with no life or death stake on the line," Yami said slowly as he turned the package over in his hands.

Yugi grinned. "Have you ever played a game just for fun?"

Yami frowned. "If so, I don't remember."

Yugi grabbed the package. "Then maybe it's time for you to make some new memories, partner. You know you want to set up an impossibly fast time for Kaiba to break, just so you can watch him grind his teeth."

"I want to play with you," Yami insisted, as a smile tugged at his own lips.

"Luckily," Yugi said, waving the box, "you can do both."

He should have known, Yami thought later, that no gift from Kaiba could ever be as simple as it appeared. It was easy, downstairs in the shop, to joke with Yugi about playing against each other. Upstairs, with the apartment door closed behind him, all he could hear were the echoes of the ceremonial duel they'd never gotten a chance to fight. He could almost feel the spray of sand, sense the barren emptiness that stretched out in all directions, still waiting to swallow him whole.

Then Yugi had called his name. "Yami… it's okay. Let's play in story mode. We can do that together."

Yami nodded gratefully, half ashamed to be the one relying on his partner. He could tell himself that he'd always deferred to Yugi. It was true. But he'd been Yugi's protector as well. It had been his role. Now Yugi was the one taking care of him.

That wasn't the only change. They'd always played as a team, but now they had to talk to know what the other was thinking. They needed two controllers.

They hadn't settled for story mode for long before moving on to the two player mini-games. It wasn't a duel, much less their aborted ceremonial one. But for the first time since that day they were opposing each other. Yami couldn't help but look for a sign. After all, if he won all the games on the menu, it would mean he had been destined to remain here, since that would have been the outcome anyway. But if he lost… how could he live with the knowledge he'd been fated to go to the after-life all along, that his destiny had been snatched from his hands?

"Are you sure?" Yugi asked when Yami paused before starting the first challenge.

Yami nodded. "It's time to play our way through the menu."

When they'd finished, Yami decided that the only thing worse that the wrong answer was no answer at all.

The next day, Yami spent half of the walk to Kaiba Corporation reminding himself of all the reasons why blaming Kaiba was unfair. He spent the other half wondering how much of what had happened Kaiba had planned in advance.

As usual, Yami walked in before Kaiba's secretary had quite finished notifying her boss of his presence. Yami watched as Kaiba minimized something on his monitor and turned to face him.

"What were you doing?" Yami asked, struck by the intent – even for Kaiba – glare on the other man's face as he'd stared at the computer screen, by the way his teeth had been worrying a corner of his lip.

"I was killing time," Kaiba said, with a slight, unnoticed emphasis on the word "killing."

"That's not a real answer."

"It wasn't a real question. Why are you here?"

"I played all the two-player challenges on the menu with Yugi. We each won half of them."

"So?"

Yami walked over to the window and looked out. "So, I still don't know what would have happened in that ceremonial duel! I'm back right where I was that day in Egypt! I thought I would get an answer."

Kaiba snorted. Yami's head whipped around at the sound. "You did get an answer. You just didn't get the one you wanted. There's no such thing as destiny, Yami. You're mourning something you never had." Kaiba's voice gentled at the last sentence. Yami didn't notice; all he heard was the words, and the mockery he expected to accompany them.

"You're such an asshole." Yami laughed, a brief, choked off sound. "Maybe that's why I came. Any time I want to pick a fight, you're here, just aching to say some jerk-off thing to tick me off."

"Glad to be of service," Kaiba replied. "You're not as good at unjustified rage as you think you are though, if you need me to get you going. With a little more practice, you'll be able to detonate all on your own."

"Why do you keep doing that, anyway?" Yami asked irritably.

"Doing what?"

"Trying to get me mad."

Kaiba could have listed the reasons. Because when you're angry you come alive. Because you need to get mad at something and I'm here, because that's always been my role. Because sometimes anger is the best weapon in your arsenal and I can't stand to see you brought down. Because I know what it's like to stare into your soul and see only emptiness – and I never wanted that for you. Because I won't let you believe you don't deserve to live.

"Because it's fun," Kaiba said.

"Glad you finally found something to do for fun. Now go find something else. Get it through your thick skull... I don't want to spend my life getting mad. I don't want to be reminded of the way I was when I first met Yugi."

"Why?" Kaiba asked.

As far as Yami could tell, Kaiba was being sincere. Yami drew in a breath and exhaled sharply. "I was a vengeful ghost!"

"So?"

"I put you in a coma. I almost killed you. Yugi was afraid of me."

"So?"

"I don't want to be that person!"

"You're missing a good bet. I liked that guy. At least he didn't whine."

Yami stared at Kaiba for a moment, open mouthed. Then he started laughing. His howls quieted to chuckles, then finally died away.

"At least back then, my anger had a focus," Yami said. "Now I'm simply angry. I've been left with my life – but no mission or destiny. Even my memories are a cheat! The memory world we fought in was a lie constructed by my enemies. All the people I met… my friends and comrades… I have no idea what was real and what wasn't. And now I'll never see them to find out."

"Given how often you and Yugi bleat about friendship, it shouldn't be too hard for you to remember that you have friends here as well."

"That just makes it worse! How can I bring any of this home to Yugi?" Yami made a quick circuit of Kaiba's office, wondering if it was so large because Kaiba, too, liked to pace as he thought – or if the room's size was just one more prop for his rival's swollen ego. "I'm mad at Yugi, too… for being so happy I'm here, for worrying about me, for not understanding…"

"Not understanding? Have you told him any of this?" Kaiba interrupted.

"No. How could I?"

"You don't seem to have a problem telling me what a pathetic loser you are," Kaiba observed.

"If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that you know all about mindless, self-destructive, unjustified rage."

Kaiba laughed. "Come off it. Do you know how many times I've had to listen to your sanctimonious speeches on friendship and trust – and how I was lacking in both? But when push comes to shove, you suck at it just as badly as me."

"I love Yugi, you insufferable jerk!"

"Maybe. But you sure as hell don't trust him. If you did, you'd be running off to babble all of this in his ears, not mine. At the end of the day, you'd rather trust to my sense of obligation than his friendship."

"Stop telling me I don't trust Yugi!" Yami roared.

Kaiba got up and moved closer to Yami. He looked the picture of slightly bored ease as he leaned against the front of his desk, but he'd positioned himself so that Yami couldn't evade his gaze unless he retreated or turned aside. "You don't. You're afraid he'll fall apart when he finds out his precious pharaoh isn't as perfect as he pretends."

Yami gasped, then recovered. Kaiba's aim was good, but not quite true. And that saving measure of error enabled Yami to hold his head high as he faced his adversary, waiting for his next attack.

Kaiba's grin was a knife edge. This time he wouldn't miss. "Are you an even bigger coward than that? Are you protecting Yugi or yourself? Your pride's more important to you than your partner, isn't it? And you won't put it aside, even for him." Kaiba leaned forward, challenging Yami to maintain eye contact.

Yami laughed, but it came out a pitiful broken sound. "You're lecturing me about false pride?"

"Can you think of anyone better qualified? I've spent my life hiding all kinds of shit from Mokuba. Now he pretends he doesn't know. He thinks it's what I want. Maybe it is." Kaiba shrugged. "It works for us. But Yugi hasn't signed on to your little game... Hell, he doesn't even know he's been caught in the middle of it. Or is it even simpler? None of this is real to you, is it…" Kaiba swept out an arm to encompass the room and the world outside its windows, "...not until you blurt it into Yugi's ear. You've always acted like you were so much better than me, like you had all the answers. And it turns out that's only because you never had to sit down and take the test. Well, it's exam time, Yami – and you failed!" Kaiba threw back his head and laughed.

"You bastard!" Yami yelled. He grabbed Kaiba by his lapels and pulled the taller man towards him. He liked the way his rival's head moved forward, then swung back; he liked the way Kaiba looked when jerked off balance, period. It was a clean, unadulterated anger, one that had nothing to do with penalty games or unrecoverable pasts or even Yugi. It was all Kaiba. Yami started to swing for Kaiba's face, just as he had when he was drunk, but he changed in mid-air. He grabbed Kaiba's hair, pulled Kaiba to him and smashed their lips together.

He didn't let up. Kaiba's lips parted. Yami took advantage of that slight opening to thrust his tongue inside. Kaiba leaned back, bracing himself with both hands on the desktop behind him. Yami pressed in closer until Kaiba was almost bent backwards. If it was uncomfortable, he gave no sign, and Yami showed no inclination to let him up any time soon.

"You bastard," Yami said again, when he finally lifted his flushed face from Kaiba.

"You'll have to do better than that if you're trying to shut me up," Kaiba said.

"I've never backed down from a challenge," Yami answered. He fastened his lips on Kaiba's again, marveling at how easily, how eagerly Kaiba's mouth opened the second time, waiting, wanting, welcoming his invasion.

Yami leaned in further until they were both half on top of Kaiba's overly carved and ridiculously glossy wooden desktop. He'd started kissing Kaiba in anger. It had changed somehow to a purer, clearer hunger. Even pressed together as tightly as they were, wearing each other as a second and opposing skin, wasn't enough. Without thought Yami ground his body against his rival's; each sharp movement as provocative as the words they'd just been throwing at each other, each leading to a different, even more satisfying feeling of tension and danger.

Yami's hand slipped under Kaiba's shirt, teasing one nipple to a spiky hardness. Kaiba's movements were jerky as he responded; one hand clutched Yami's hair, Kaiba's fist opened and closed without intent, the very imprecision of his movements proving that he, too, was adrift, was as shaken and stunned as his rival. Kaiba's other hand skimmed down Yami's back, stopping at his ass, pressing Yami even more tightly into him. A moan escaped from Kaiba's lips as Yami's mouth dropped to his neck. A guttural snarl answered him. Neither was sure how each encounter grew more charged than the last, how each became more incendiary, pushed them closer to the edge of control. Neither was sure if this was what they wanted; neither could deny it was what they craved.

Yami gasped and raised his head, suddenly needing air and distance. He gazed down at the stunned face of his rival. "Still paying a debt?" he asked. Despite his efforts, his voice was a fraction away from a moan.

"I like to honor my obligations in style," Kaiba managed to gasp in return.

"So it's pure altruism? That would be easier to believe if you weren't hard," Yami said. He ground in a little tighter now that they were talking, now that the flashpoint had been passed.

"Try taking a look south yourself before you start gloating," Kaiba advised.

Yami's eyes narrowed to slits. "So it's a draw. You should be pleased. This is the closest you've ever come to winning."

Kaiba pushed Yami off him, returned to his side of the desk, sat down and resumed his study of his now-blank computer screen. "Ties are boring."

"Oh? Are you feeling unsatisfied?"

Kaiba looked up from his monitor. "Are you worried that you're not as good as you think? Maybe it was beginner's luck."

"Maybe I don't believe in luck anymore," Yami answered, his voice husky, once again.

"If you're looking for an argument on that score, for once, you've come to the wrong place. I don't believe in luck either, and good luck least of all."

Yami shook his head. Golden stalks briefly covered his face before falling back into place. "I think I've done enough fighting for one day. I keep lashing out at everyone – even you."

Kaiba's lips twitched. "Don't you mean especially me? It's okay. As you said, unjustified rage is my area of expertise."

Yami felt his own lips tilt upwards in response. He came over to Kaiba's side of the desk and perched on it. Yami stared at Kaiba's face, liking the softer expression he saw there, remembering the silken feel of Kaiba's skin. He reached out to stroke Kaiba's hand as it lay unmoving on the keyboard.

A minute earlier they'd been plastered against each other as though touch was a second, even more essential oxygen. That fire had faded to a gentler warmth. Kaiba found himself wanting to lean into it as one would towards a fireplace on a cold winter's night. And that made this softer glow more dangerous than the scorching heat it had replaced.

Kaiba suddenly thought of all the times Yami had tried to tell him how to live his life. He'd resented it, had only listened because he refused to do less than give Yami a winner's due. Now, for the first time Kaiba understood that Yami hadn't been trying to belittle or pity him, hadn't been trying to prove his own superiority. Yami had seen someone hurting and had tried to help. Kaiba felt the same impulse now. He leaned forward, reaching up to caress Yami's cheek. He pulled Yami towards him and brushed Yami's lips with his own. But this kiss was as chaste as the ones before had been full of promise.

Kaiba released Yami and leaned back in his chair. "Go home, Yami."

Kaiba was trying to help, but he couldn't resist a smile at the way Yami's mouth dragged open, before he closed it, then opened it again, as he found the words to match his indignation. "You're kicking me out?" Yami gasped.

"Not permanently. Come back whenever you want someone to talk to or yell at or fight with – or even kiss. Unleash your anger as often as you need to; you've been on the receiving end of mine often enough. I'll be your target – but I won't be your excuse for cowardice. They're your friends. Yugi's your partner. You once called him your other self. You have to come clean sooner or later. And if you don't…" Kaiba shook his head. "You're not the man… you're not the _rival_, I took you for. And I hate being wrong." He suddenly slammed his fists on the smooth surface of his incongruously ornate desk and pushed himself upright, towering over Yami once again. "This was my adoptive father's desk. It's mine now. He quit rather than face the fact he'd lost. Instead of fighting back, he jumped out a window. Damn it, Yami! You won. You beat a fucking god! Are you going to give up, too? Is everything you ever said a lie?"

"You know me better."

Kaiba smiled and inclined his head, slightly. "I do."

Yami started towards the door. He paused on the threshold and looked back. "Thank you, Kaiba."

"For what? For yelling at you? Or am I just that good a kisser?" If Kaiba was smirking, it seemed good natured for once.

"Yes. No. I have no idea." He walked back to Kaiba, leaned down and pressed his lips to Kaiba's, deepening the kiss as Kaiba opened his mouth in a response that had become automatic. One of Yami's hands ended up behind Kaiba's neck, holding him in place; the other dropped to his shoulder. Kaiba's hands came up to tangle in Yami's hair. Their first kisses had been about passion and anger; the next had had its own strange innocence. This one was somewhere in between.

Yami moved his head from Kaiba's, re-establishing a thin line of distance between them.

"Kaiba… I have to know… no joking this time… you can't really be doing this to pay off a debt."

Yami swallowed when Kaiba looked away instead of answering. He dropped his hands.

"No," Kaiba finally whispered, bringing his eyes back to Yami's face. "I might, if that's what it took… but whatever this is, it's not an obligation."

"I'm glad. I know you don't believe in the word, but you've been a true friend." Yami shook his head. That didn't sound right either. A glance at Kaiba confirmed he was just as lost for a way to describe what they were to each other – besides rivals – as Yami was. Yami turned to leave once more. Once again he paused at the door.

"Wait," Kaiba called out. "Since you had the sense to listen to me, I'll drive you home. I could use a break, anyway."

Yami noticed Kaiba hadn't said what he needed a break from. He didn't press the point.

They took the elevator to the garage under the Kaiba Corporation offices. Yami had never realized it was there before. Kaiba had driven the blue-gray car again. In the darkened light it looked like the sky after sunset had passed.

They were silent during the short drive. If Yami's hand occasionally rested on Kaiba's thigh, neither mentioned it.

Kaiba had (thankfully) stopped at a traffic light two blocks away from the game shop when Yami spied Jounouchi across the street. "Jounouchi!" he called out.

Jounouchi stared at them open-mouthed, clearly having a hard time deciding whether to focus on Kaiba, Yami or the car. The light changed; the car leapt across the intersection, screeching to a halt before Jounouchi had managed to step off the curb – or even close his mouth.

"You getting out?" Jounouchi asked as people started crossing the street, flowing around the car blocking the crosswalk.

Kaiba glared at Jounouchi, transferred the look to Yami and popped the car lock open. "Bye."

"Kaiba?" Yami said, turning the other duelist's name into a question.

"You were planning on talking to your _friend_, weren't you?" Kaiba said.

"I guess… yes," Yami replied, wondering at the sudden tension. Kaiba's hands gripped the steering wheel; he was staring straight ahead as if the car was still zipping through traffic instead of standing still. His expression, as usual when he wasn't bellowing or gloating, didn't reveal anything as obvious as an emotion… but there was a brittle hardness to it that hadn't been there a moment ago.

Yami glanced at Jounouchi. The blonde was moving restlessly from one foot to the other, waiting.

"Thanks for the lift. I'll see you tomorrow," Yami said as he finally got out, remembering Kaiba telling him to hold the date at their last meeting.

Kaiba didn't reply. The car shot away.

"I swear that looks just like James Bond's car, except the color's all wrong," Jounouchi said, staring after it.

"James Bond?" Yami asked.

"You know… James Bond, from the movies… 007… license to kill… shaken not stirred…" Jounouchi said.

Yami nodded. He remembered Yugi going to the movies with Jounouchi and Honda. It had been fun. It seemed like it had happened a long time ago… a lifetime ago, in a way.

"Did you just come from the game shop?" Yami asked.

"Yup." Jounouchi tightened his lips. Yugi had been staring at nothing and frowning when he'd walked in the store. Sugoroku had been looking at his grandson but Yugi hadn't even noticed. Then Jounouchi had cracked a joke and Yugi had giggled, his old, infectious laugh, as high pitched and goofy as ever. After a couple more jokes, Sugoroku had shooed them upstairs. They'd hung out. They'd laughed some more. But whenever they'd stopped talking, Yugi had started looking sad again. Yugi had gone downstairs when Jounouchi had left. He'd been smiling and waiting on customers as Jounouchi had waved goodbye. To a casual glance everything looked back to normal again, but Jounouchi wasn't fooled.

"How was Yugi?" Yami asked.

Jounouchi straightened up, his decision made. They'd all been tiptoeing around Yami for weeks, waiting for him to snap out of it. That hadn't helped. It was time that someone talked some sense into Yami before this went any further. "Oh, you finally remembered that Yugi exists? I was wondering."

"What?" Yami asked, startled. "How could I forget Yugi? He's my partner!"

"Is he? Doesn't seem like that lately. Then again you've been so distant, it's hard to believe you're here at all. Sometimes it feels like you went to the after-life and we just didn't get the message."

"I'm sorry," Yami said.

"Damn it, Yami! I don't want your apology! I want you to act like Yugi's your partner again. This is hard for him too you know. And you're making it worse by shutting him out only to run to Kaiba instead. This isn't like you Yami, forgetting your friends like that."

Yami nodded. Kaiba had spoken of Yami's obligation to himself; Jounouchi had reminded Yami of all he owed Yugi. There was no question which carried the heavier weight. And although neither of them realized it, Kaiba and Jounouchi had finally agreed on something: Yami's next course of action. "I was on my way home. I'll fix this. Yugi's more important to me than anything."

Jounouchi smiled and clapped Yami on the shoulder. "Good! I knew you'd come through."

"Yugi's upset I've visited Kaiba? He said that?" Yami asked.

Jounouchi shrugged. "You know Yugi. Of course he didn't. But it sure would bum me out to have my best friend drop me flat."

Yami reddened. He nodded again and headed for the game shop at a run.

Yugi was alone when he entered. "I'm just locking up. Jichan's upstairs already," he said with a smile.

Yami winced at how stiff and mechanical Yugi's smile was, unlike his partner's usual quicksilver grin. Yami drew in a breath. His duty was clear. It was a relief to have so unmistakable a path laid out before him. "I never meant to desert you or shut you out. I'm so sorry my actions hurt you. I'm willing to tell you anything you want to know. Please forgive me." The words tumbled over each other in their rush to escape.

"Stop! Not another word," Yugi said, raising his voice to be heard over Yami's apologies.

Yami had forgotten how fierce Yugi could look. "But Jounouchi said…"

Yugi groaned. "I should have known. Jounouchi's a great friend, but he's wrong."

"He said you were upset. He said that I was making things worse."

"It's a big change for both of us. And yeah, it's hard seeing you hurting and not knowing how to help. But Yami, I don't want you to say anything because you think it's what _I _need. Not until it's right for you too. You have all the time in the world now. I'm okay with waiting."

Yami hung his head. "I'm being selfish, I should always put you first."

"No. You shouldn't. I'm serious, Yami."

Yami couldn't agree. But he knew Yugi would never back down and he didn't want their first real conversation in weeks to end in an argument. "But what if I never sort things out?" he asked, releasing at least one of his fears to Yugi's keeping.

Yugi hugged him. "Of course you will."

Yami leaned his head on Yugi's shoulder. He wondered if Kaiba was right. Talking to Yugi would somehow make this all so much more final. But this was his life now. He knew that. He was even closer to accepting it with every passing day. His memories of the ancient world he'd fought in and almost died for had started to fade, receding into the distance as he moved onwards in the opposite direction. Even the faces of his long ago comrades had started to blur. He hadn't abandoned them; he hadn't meant to. Sometimes it felt like a betrayal anyway. Yami shook his head slightly, trying to tame his unruly emotions. Refusing to truly live in the world he'd been forced to join honored no one, his comrades least of all. Not every loss was a defeat. Yugi was probably waiting for a chance to tell him that. Yami opened his mouth and closed it, the words still unsaid.

Yugi felt Yami move restlessly against his shoulder. For the first time since Egypt, Yugi could sense Yami's confusion as if they were still connected. Maybe, Yugi thought hopefully, in all the ways that mattered, they were. Besides, it was enough to hold Yami, to once again be and feel this close. "Shush, Yami… it's okay. When you want to talk, you'll know it. And I'll be here, ready to listen."

Yami tightened his grip on Yugi, then released him and took a step backwards. "Thank you."

Yugi beamed at Yami. "No problem. We're partners, right?"

Yami straightened up. He smiled back just as warmly. "Always. That's a promise."

"Then let's get upstairs. Jichan must have dinner ready by now."

They locked up together and then raced each other up the stairs. Yugi hid a grin. As expected, Yami had won again.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and making sure that everything after Kaiba and Yami's meeting didn't feel like an afterthought.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** It was suggested that this chapter should be subtitled "Why These Two Should NOT Be in a Relationship." There's something to that point of view. Kaiba and Yami fight a lot in this chapter. But I hope that the chapter also showed that Kaiba isn't pushing Yami's buttons just for the pure fun of it, but because he's concerned and is trying to help, and in an odd way, he's also providing a safe place for Yami to sort things out and unleash his anger. I think Yami gets that, partly because he always has an easier time than Kaiba in believing in friendship. But unfortunately, I also think it's easier for them to fall back on taunting and insulting each other, simply because it's what they're used to.

**Yami and advice:**One thing I wanted to show was that advice and be well meant, but still be poorly timed. Kaiba is right on thinking that Yami needs to talk to Yugi, but wrong in thinking that it needs to happen on a fast-track schedule. He probably should know better given his own experiences with how hard it is to change, but Kaiba is unused to factoring emotions into any equations.

Jounouchi also thinks that Yami and Yugi need to talk. But every word he says confirms to Yami that his own sense of selfhood, something that is incredibly new to him, is not only unimportant, but something he has no right to; that all that matters is Yugi. Although Jounouchi is right that Yami and Yugi need to talk, he's wrong in thinking that it needs to happen on a schedule set by Yugi's needs alone.

Luckily Yugi the sense to know that timing matters and the patience to wait until it was right for both of them.

_**Note to No Name Here:**_ Thank you! Yugi and his friends are such a big part of Yami that they need to be in a story about him adjusting to life outside of the Puzzle. And of course, I can't imagine Kaiba without Mokuba at his side.

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal. The link is on my biopage.

**_Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really appreciate comments. They help me figure out what's working and what isn't, and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page – and I can't express how encouraging it is to hear from you. Please review._**


	9. Weekend at Bernie's

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

**CHAPTER 9: WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S**

WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S: Buddy comedy, circa 1989. For reasons way too complicated to explain (and let's face it, no one watched this movie for the plot) two young executives spend their weekend at a fancy Long Island beach house pretending their murdered employer is alive.

_MORAL: Sometimes boys just need to get away for the day._

* * *

The store wasn't open, yet. The knock on the door was loud enough to be heard in the apartment above the shop. Sugoroku stuck his head out of the window. Kaiba was banging on the shop door as if he couldn't read the sign proclaiming its hours.

"I'll be down to let you in. You can stop waking the neighbors now," Sugoroku called out. He went down the flight of steps and opened the store, not bothering to change out of his robe. "Come in. Yami will be down in a minute," he said.

You couldn't call it a hesitation, but there was a wariness to the way Kaiba crossed the threshold. The door closed at his back. He was in what probably passed for casual clothes, a black neoprene shirt – given his insistence that Yami put on swim trunks, Sugoroku guessed that it was part of a wet suit – worn under a linen silver-gray suit. The flowing, high collared coat was long enough to touch the bottom of his calves.

"A lot of the merchandise must look familiar," Sugoroku said with a sly grin.

Kaiba nodded. His back stiffened against the hard surface of the door. Sugoroku wondered which would bend first.

"I'm glad you came in. I was never sure what to say about this…" Sugoroku said, waving a hand at the Kaiba Corporation products lining the shelves, an unasked for benefit of having been put on the Kaiba Corporation preferred vendor list by its CEO. "Gratitude would be inappropriate given the circumstances. But you need to know that it's okay." He looked up into Kaiba's unrevealing face, suddenly struck by how young it looked despite the hard planes and forbidding expression. "You were a spiteful, spoiled, immature punk and you hurt me. But we both survived. I respect what you're trying to do here, but any hard feelings I had disappeared the moment you tried to make amends. You don't have any obligation to continue."

Kaiba's nostrils flared. "No one tells me what my obligations are or when they end." He bowed slightly as though they were fencers who'd just ended a duel. "Tell Yami I'll be in the car." He pivoted and strode out much more quietly than he'd entered.

Sugoroku shook his head. It was much easier forgiving Kaiba from a distance. He could see why everyone insisted that Kaiba had reformed (if that wasn't too grandiose a word.) But while the new version was significantly less likely to murder one, he was only minimally easier to talk to. Sugoroku could see though why Yami kept trying to reach the tempestuous young man who had just left his shop. Inside of the chaotic mess that was Seto Kaiba was someone worthwhile who needed a push in the right direction. It was obvious that Yami wanted to be the one doing the shoving. Sugoroku frowned. He just hoped that Yami remembered he needed to get his own feet firmly planted before taking on any reclamation projects, especially one so fraught with difficulties.

Yami came down and scanned the store. "What happened? Was that Kaiba?"

Sugoroku nodded. "He stopped by. He's waiting in his car for you." Sugoroku sighed. "I tried to tell him that I respect him for what he's done since Death-T."

Yami grinned. "Good luck with that one. I've been trying to get similar messages through his thick skull for years."

Sugoroku expected Yami to leave, but he shifted from foot to foot instead. His smile faded. Yami glanced from the door back to Sugoroku.

"Is something wrong?" Sugoroku asked.

"Maybe I should stay home," Yami said.

Sugoroku's eyebrows flew upwards. "Why? I thought you were looking forward to going on whatever outing Kaiba has planned."

Yami frowned. "Yugi goes back to school next week. I should be spending the time with him."

"Yugi's not even going to be here. He's going to the museum with Bakura, remember? They have a new exhibit. His father dug up some of the artifacts in it. Bakura told Yugi seeing them made him feel more connected to his dad." Sugoroku sighed and shook his head. He understood the lure of the ancient world. He was less forgiving of abandoning your child to heed its call. "Yugi didn't want Bakura to go alone. And then he's meeting Anzu after her dance class. Believe me – when you have a pretty girl by your side, two's company and three's a crowd!"

"It still feels like I'm deserting him."

"We're family, Yami. You don't need an appointment to see Yugi. And you can have your own friends. You know that, don't you?" Sugoroku said gently.

Yami swallowed. He knew the expected answer, but he couldn't quite bring himself to agree. "I don't want to neglect Yugi or hurt him. I've done that enough already. I've been so selfish."

"You couldn't be selfish if you tried. And Yugi's not fragile. But even if he was, you would still have the right to spend time however you want."

"How can you say that?" Yami exclaimed.

"Because you obviously need to hear it. Because it's true. Because my grandson would be the first to agree with me. If you have any doubts, ask him yourself."

"It still feels wrong. I know Yugi would tell me to go, if I asked. It's just... it's like we need to learn to talk to each other all over again."

Sugoroku grinned and pushed him forwards. "No problem. You can do it _after_ you enjoy your day out!"

Yami managed to make it out of the door on his own power.

"Why did you get me out this early?" he asked Kaiba as he got in the blue-gray sports car. Kaiba turned the key and the car came to life with a roar.

"It's not early. And I don't like wasting time."

Yami chuckled at that. "Yugi keeps reminding me I have all the time in the world now."

"Yugi's wrong. No one does."

"I think it's a saying."

"Why say meaningless things?"

"Because friends do," Yami answered, thinking that was one charge that couldn't be leveled at Kaiba.

Kaiba glanced at Yami. "Speaking of Yugi, I see you're still wearing his clothes."

"How do you know they're his?"

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "I find it impossible to believe you were the one who picked out swim trunks covered with volleyball-playing cartoon dolphins."

Yami looked down and frowned. Even the gaily colored dolphins seemed to be nodding in agreement with Kaiba.

"Come on," Kaiba said. "Surely a master strategist like you can come up with an excuse. You didn't have time to go shopping. You forgot you needed them until it was too late. You don't have an account to cash your paycheck into."

"My clothes are none of your business!"

"I don't give a crap _what_ you wear. The only thing that interests me is _why _you're still in his clothes."

"You want it in words? It makes me feel like we're connected, like I'm still a part of him."

"But you're not. You're a separate person; you might as well accept it. It's time to burn the security blanket of thinking of everything in terms of Yugi." Kaiba laughed. "And throw those hideous trunks on the pyre while you're at it."

"What if I happen to like them?" Yami asked.

"Do you?" Kaiba asked, shooting a glance at Yami.

Yami's laugh was a little rueful. "I don't know. I never thought about what I liked or didn't like before. And I still don't know why we're leaving so early, much less where we're going."

Kaiba concentrated on the road. "One of Mokuba's classmates is having a back to school get-together. We discussed it. It makes sense for him to go. I want to get back to the office in time to meet Mokuba there when he's done."

Yami laughed. "At last… I've found something you're scared of! Admit it! You're afraid Mokuba will catch you playing hooky!"

"I would never lie to him and it's not playing hooky when you're the boss," Kaiba said irritably. He floored the gas pedal. The car seemed to hang in the air for a second before shooting forwards.

"Are you trying to see how many people you can run over before the sun is fully up?"

"Never imply I'm irresponsible… or that I'd neglect Mokuba."

"What is wrong with you? I've got a news flash for you: friendship is supposed to be an easy, uncomplicated comfortable thing."

"Then I don't understand why you keep insisting that I'm your friend. I don't do easy and you know it. Maybe you should stick with your loser brigade."

"Stop insulting them! Did you invite me out to show me what a jackass you can be? I already knew that. Just once, try to keep your temper on a leash. Jounouchi and Honda tease each other all the time – about cutting class and everything else – and no one ever gets angry."

"Get this through your head! I'm not them," Kaiba snarled.

Yami frowned. That was the problem. Jounouchi had flat out told Yami that he was letting the gang down by confiding in Kaiba instead of them. Yugi had been quick to comfort him, but Yami couldn't run from the suspicion that he felt the same way. Yami had never thought of friendship as a competition before, but somehow Kaiba had snuck into the running.

"No kidding. It's not like I need a reminder," Yami said bitterly.

"Just say the word… I can take you back to that crappy store and your real friends – who you're still avoiding talking to."

"Not talking to them is a distinct improvement on talking to you!"

"Fine! This was a stupid idea, anyway!" Kaiba's grip tightened on the wheel. He should have known better than to take a day off… than to plan to spend it with Yami. He'd been swayed, like the kind of naive fool he usually mocked, by the time he'd seen Yami on the pier, seduced by the tang of salt in the air, by the way the ocean breeze had tossed Yami's hair into further confusion, by the way Yami's face had looked happier in the reflected light of the water. He'd wanted to show Yami something totally new. Kaiba should have stayed in his office and waited for his rival to come by so he could bait Yami since that was obviously the extent of their friendship, just like he'd always suspected.

Yami was amazed at how quickly Kaiba managed to spin the car around in the middle of the block, oblivious to the squeal of brakes and the shrieks of car horns from the other drivers unlucky enough to be in Kaiba's way. He barely had time to catch his breath before he was back at the game shop. The windows were dark again. Sugoroku was probably having his morning tea upstairs and Yugi was still asleep.

Yami tensed, ready to storm off, telling himself that Kaiba deserved the ruins of whatever plans he had made for being such an argumentative jerk. He paused before grabbing the door handle. Leaving felt like a retreat. Kaiba had taken the day off for him – and Yami couldn't imagine that happened often. Kaiba was actually trying to do something nice; that was enough to explain his prickly defensiveness throughout their drive. And after insisting they were friends for years, Yami had thrown Kaiba's gesture, however poorly executed, back in his face. He glanced at Kaiba. Yami thought he was learning to recognize the carefully blank look in Kaiba's eyes. In his guilt over one group of friends, he'd hurt another.

"Kaiba, wait… I'm the one who failed at friendship this morning, not you. You're my friend. I should never have made you feel like you weren't. I keep lashing out at you. It's not fair."

Kaiba shrugged. But his shoulders relaxed with the gesture, his grip on the steering wheel lightened. He flipped another U-turn. "I can handle anything you can dish out. Remember that."

"You shouldn't have to. I can't keep doing this to you. I have to find a better way. Yesterday, you offered to be my target any time I felt like attacking something. Don't you know how wrong that is?"

Kaiba shook his head. He seemed genuinely puzzled. "Given that we've tried to kill each other, these scruples seem absurd."

"I hope we've both grown since then." Yami laughed. "You're a ridiculously hard person to apologize to."

"I don't believe in apologies."

Yami drew in a breath and exhaled. There was an edge in his voice as he said, "Well… we all know you don't believe in making them."

But Kaiba shook his head, following a line of thought of his own. "I don't like receiving them either. But I've never gotten a sincere one before."

"What?" Yami stared at Kaiba, shocked as much by his matter of fact tone as his words.

Kaiba shrugged again, for once unsure how to respond. He didn't like talking about his beliefs – or the proving ground that had created them. But Yami had just given him the first apology he'd ever believed in. Kaiba supposed he owed Yami an honest answer in return. "Gozaburo always said that apologizing was a technique to be used sparingly. It's an admission of weakness that can only be justified if it's used as a delaying tactic until you're ready to erase your humiliation by crushing your opponent. I've seen little to contradict his teachings. People apologize for strategic reasons… to spin private misconduct that's suddenly become public… to restore business relations after an attempt at one-upmanship has failed… to lull you off guard… to trick you into underestimating them..."

"Are you daring to suggest that after everything, you think that I…" Yami yelled.

"No!" Kaiba interrupted. "This is different. I get that. I'm not stupid. It's strange all the same… believing someone when they say they're sorry."

"Kaiba… I was wrong and I know it. It really is that simple."

Kaiba frowned in frustration. "But that's between you and your own sense of honor. Why apologize to me?"

Yami ran a hand through his hair. "Because I want you to know that I regret the way I acted."

The car stopped at a light. Kaiba looked at Yami. The light changed but Kaiba made no move to press on the gas. "I've never apologized. I never figured anyone would believe in it. Does it matter to you? Would it change however you think of me?"

"No! You're my friend, regardless." Yami said automatically. He stopped, surprised to realize it was true. None of Yugi's friends, possibly not even Yugi himself would agree with him; they'd all waited in vain for Kaiba to say he was sorry. But Yami knew how he felt. Kaiba was Kaiba. He had integrity. He could be trusted.

Kaiba resumed driving. Yami smiled. "Well, now that that's settled, any hints on where we're going?"

"We've arrived," Kaiba said as he turned the corner, pulled in besides the pier and pointed to the motor-boat that was docked alongside it. "Get in."

Like the car, the boat was and sleek and built to go fast. It was small enough to be handled by a single driver, but made to fit several people comfortably.

"Why?"

"Because it's easier to get where we're going by water," Kaiba said.

Yami started to sigh, a sound that changed from theatrical to a near moan as Kaiba got out of the car and took off his jacket and pants. Kaiba had a wet suit top and trunks underneath. Yami had thought the shirt was black; the deep blue side panels had been hidden by the jacket. Yami wondered if Kaiba had chosen them to match his – or more likely – his dragon's eyes. He'd never seen Kaiba bare his arms and legs before. Kaiba could have stepped out of an advertisement for high end swimwear, but as polished as his appearance was, Kaiba also looked defenseless, as if he'd stripped away a layer of armor with his clothes.

Kaiba put his pants and jacket in the trunk and shut the lid with a snap. He glared at Yami, refusing to dodge his gaze. Kaiba loved the water. He'd never shared it with anyone but Mokuba before. But he'd wanted to see Yami's hair darkened by the waves. He'd wanted to show Yami how buoyant the ocean was, how it alive it felt, like it was welcoming you into its home. And yet, you could never take it for granted. Even on the calmest day you could feel the power lying deep under its sunlit surface.

Now he and Yami were here, just as he'd planned. But once again, Kaiba had forgotten to factor in his emotions. He hadn't expected to feel Yami's gaze on his skin like a second sun; he hadn't expected to want to fall into it. He hadn't expected to feel this exposed.

Kaiba glared at Yami for a moment, trying to establish some kind of boundary. Kaiba couldn't read Yami's expression, if anything he looked slightly stunned. Kaiba waited, but Yami stayed silent. Kaiba grunted. He could live with that, he guessed,

They got in the boat and headed to one of the small islands that dotted the bay. Yami assumed it was a private one. He turned to look at Kaiba instead.

Kaiba's arms were lean but wiry. There was a scar on his left, curving from bicep to forearm. The other mark was small. Yami almost missed it. Then he realized that he was staring at the characters for Mokuba's name. It wasn't a tattoo – not a professional one at any rate. Kaiba must have repeatedly carved the characters into his left arm, just above the bend in his elbow until he'd formed a scar. Like most things Kaiba did, it had to have taken precision, dedication… and a certain tolerance for pain.

"Why?" Yami asked, touching Mokuba's name.

Kaiba made an aborted effort to pull down the wetsuit sleeve, then stopped himself. "You said it yourself. He's part of me. I wanted to make that clear."

"To who?"

Kaiba shrugged.

Yami stared at him, slightly horrified. "You couldn't have been afraid of forgetting!"

Kaiba's laugh was harsh. "I did once."

Yami put his arms around Kaiba. He leaned up and brushed Kaiba's cheek with his lips.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Kaiba asked.

"I'm not sure," Yami answered.

Kaiba grunted, unable to decide if he liked having his cheek kissed. It felt odd. Pleasant, he decided, but unexpected. He didn't want Yami to think he needed to be hugged or kissed like a child going to bed. It was… soothing, though. Kaiba glanced at Yami, wondering if he was going to do it again, but Yami dropped his arms and stared at the water.

"What you said yesterday… I know I beat a god. But everything I wanted to find… my past, my chance to rejoin my comrades, was lost. That feels like defeat."

"You've lost before. You got up, again." Kaiba observed.

"At DOMA, yes. I had Yugi to fight for, then."

"Now you have yourself."

Yami quirked an eyebrow.

Kaiba's lips twitched in response. "Not my strongest suit either, I agree. But if one of us is going to learn, it might as well be you." Kaiba cut the engine and dropped anchor. They were near an empty beach. Its contour protected any swimmers from the ocean's currents. "Okay, we're close enough."

"Close enough for what?" Yami asked.

"This," said Kaiba with a grin as he scooped Yami up and threw him over the side. Yami's head ducked under water; he shot to the surface as quickly. Kaiba dove into the water and surfaced a moment later next to Yami.

"That was so childish! What if I couldn't swim?" Yami sputtered.

"You're treading water very competently," Kaiba pointed out.

Yami ducked his head under water; at least he couldn't hear Kaiba that way. He was surprised to find his arms automatically parting the water in front of him, propelling him forwards. His legs started to kick. He suddenly felt wonderfully buoyant, a word he'd never had a use for before. Yami stopped for a moment, shook the wet streaks of hair out of his eyes, threw back his head and laughed.

Kaiba swam over to join him.

"Once I hit the water, I knew what to do!" Yami exclaimed.

"I read that amnesiacs could remember how to do things like ride a bike or drive a car – even when they didn't know their own names. I figured I'd never get a better chance to test it out."

Yami reached out and ducked Kaiba's head under water. Kaiba retaliated, grabbing Yami's legs and pulling him down too. They bobbed to the surface, looked at each other and laughed. Yami shook his head. Droplets flew in all directions, spraying Kaiba again. The gleam in Kaiba's eyes gave Yami just enough warning to get his hands up before Kaiba sent a massive wave in his direction. One moment they were splashing each other like a pair of ten-year olds, the next they were clinging to each other, trying to kiss and tread water at the same time.

Yami wrapped his legs around Kaiba's waist. One arm snaked up Kaiba's back to hold his head in place, letting Kaiba tread water for both of them. His other hand ran up and down Kaiba's torso, then moved to stroke the curve of his lean hip bone, finally reaching down to cup Kaiba's ass. Kaiba couldn't respond, except with his mouth; he needed his arms and legs to keep them both afloat. It gave Yami an odd feeling of control, holding Kaiba so tightly, dangerous and yet secure… depending on Kaiba's strength, even as he took possession of Kaiba's mouth.

It wasn't enough. Yami wanted to crawl inside of Kaiba's wetsuit. He pulled down the zipper at the neck of Kaiba's shirt, exposing Kaiba's neck and collarbone. Yami moved his mouth from Kaiba's to sample the newly bared skin. Yami loosened his grasp on Kaiba, treading water once again, sharing in the chore of keeping their heads above water.

The beach was invitingly near. The sand was warm, perfect for lying on. They barely noticed as it dried in clumps on their backs and caked in their hair. Yami's head was pillowed on Kaiba's chest. He turned to nuzzle his head against Kaiba's neck. He licked Kaiba, just under the jawline. Kaiba tasted of salt. Kaiba wrapped his arms around Yami, holding him in place.

Yami had associated Kaiba with anger, with passion, with danger and tension. But this was tranquil. It was so easy to lie here, rolling over occasionally to kiss Kaiba, to feel his body, in all its wiry strength, beneath his. It was so easy to believe that he could mourn his ancient dead and still embrace the living.

Kaiba was oddly pliant. He'd never spent a day like this, and the strangeness of his own contentment held him motionless as Yami's tongue lathed the edge of his jawline, circled the well of his ear, before Yami claimed his mouth once again.

"It's so peaceful here," Yami murmured.

"Yes. It is now." Kaiba paused. "We used this island for weapons testing. It had trees once. We blasted it down to the dirt." Kaiba grimaced and shifted, half pushing Yami off his chest. He didn't know why he'd said that, except it felt like too much of a lie to leave it out, like he'd invited Yami here under false pretenses.

He got up. Kaiba hadn't planned the day beyond the boat and the water. He should have expected they'd wind up here, on the testing ground. Yami was right; the day had been so peaceful. It was so easy to forget why the beach was so empty – but his complicity was something Kaiba had sworn never to forget.

Yami got up and came over to Kaiba. Kaiba's body was turned inland, away from him. Yami put his arms around Kaiba and leaned his head against Kaiba's back. Kaiba restrained the impulse to shove him aside again.

Kaiba remembered the first time he'd seen this island. Kaiba swallowed hard and took a step forward, barely feeling Yami drop his hands as he moved away.

He'd been with Gozaburo. They'd come by boat just like today, only that boat had been large and fully staffed. Gozaburo would never have considered being the one behind the wheel of any of his vehicles. He had drivers and pilots for that. Gozaburo had been in his ever-present oxblood red suit. Kaiba had worn the white uniform that made him look like an ordinary school-child. They'd been a safe distance away when the planes had flown overhead, seeming to appear out of thin air. They'd dropped their payload and the sky had filled with noise and color.

"Look at that, boy. It's beautiful."

Kaiba had nodded. It was a fireworks show so powerful it didn't need the night sky to be seen, a display that laughed at the darkness and light together, stronger than both. For a moment, Kaiba had felt a pure flush of pride… in Gozaburo's rare approval, in the spectacle in front of his eyes, in his own cleverness, in how well he'd learned to design the tools of destruction. Seen from this distance, it was easy to forget that when these weapons were deployed, there would be people in their fiery path. And in that instant his pride turned to a stomach churning guilt. He swallowed, imagining Mokuba trapped and helpless on the island, screaming his name in vain. He winced and closed his eyes.

It was far too unguarded a gesture to make in Gozaburo's company. For once, Kaiba didn't see the blow coming, had no time to brace himself to take it. The shock sent him sprawling to his knees. It was another mistake. Gozaburo's kick caught him just under the ribs, turned him to lie on his back on the wood floor of the boat. He struggled to his feet and faced his adoptive father, his face blank and unrevealing once more.

"You like playing games, don't you, boy?"

Kaiba knew better than to reply.

"Well, this is a game and the stakes are life and death. The weak are meant to be culled. The strong flourish. You'd better decide which side you're on."

This time, it was safe to nod.

Kaiba had almost forgotten Yami was with him until he felt Yami's hand on his arm.

"Look, Kaiba!" Yami said, pointing to the carpet of green behind the beach. "It's growing back."

Kaiba stared for a moment. Yami was right. In the years since they'd stopped testing weapons here, since they'd cleaned the place of exploded shells, the vegetation had returned. Weeds and late season wildflowers were fighting for space with saplings, all striving to reach the sun. Maybe Gozaburo had been right. This was a struggle too. But it was a different one than Gozaburo could ever have imagined or recognized.

"I'd never noticed before," Kaiba told Yami.

"Beyond destruction, there's rebirth," Yami said.

"Are you talking about island or yourself?" Kaiba asked.

"Not entirely," Yami answered with a grin.

Kaiba nodded, but although Yami had somehow kept his mood from souring, something had changed too much for them to lie back down in the sand. They swam back to the boat. Yami was surprised that Kaiba thought of bringing lunch. He'd never seen Kaiba eat before.

Yami sat next to him; their feet dangled in the water. He suddenly realized he was happy. It was a strange, effervescent emotion, like the water lapping at his feet. He leaned over and claimed Kaiba's lips. The kiss deepened as they leaned into each other. They'd kissed before today, up against the wall of Kaiba's warehouse or on his desk or in the alley behind the game shop. This was different. It wasn't about anger or one-upmanship or getting the other one to react. This kiss was simply part of his happiness.

"I've never had a day like this, before," Yami said.

"Me neither," Kaiba muttered.

Yami stared at Kaiba, surprised he'd spoken at all, but Kaiba's face was turned away. He shook his hair out, almost defiantly. By the time he turned to face Yami, he'd erased whatever emotions he'd been afraid of revealing.

"I've never cut out on work before. I've arranged outings with Mokuba of course, but this is different…" Kaiba paused, not quite able to spell out exactly where the difference lay, beyond the fact that Yami was _not_ his brother.

"It's new for both of us then," Yami said, his smile once again matching the sunlight for warmth. He leaned over, bumping his shoulder against Kaiba. "Thank you."

"For what? I have a boat. And an island."

"For sharing the day. For experiencing something totally new by my side."

Kaiba smiled slightly, glad that Yami didn't expect an answer. He'd thought of Yami in terms of obligations and challenges, but this day had turned out to be about none of those familiar things. He told himself that Yami would be back with Yugi soon. This day would become a memory. Kaiba shook his head, dissatisfied with his well-worn thoughts and the speed at which he'd fallen back into them. This wasn't the way a new day was supposed to end. Kaiba shrugged away his bitterness, his sense of impending abandonment; for once it was a surprisingly effortless task. It was easier to believe in friendship out here away from everything else, from everything that made him Seto Kaiba.

"It's been weeks since Egypt. But this is the first day that's felt like it was truly mine," Yami said.

Kaiba nodded, but didn't answer. Yami had always been better at words, at least when it came to something like this. Kaiba leaned in for a last kiss. He sighed and got up. It was time to head back to Kaiba Corporation and Mokuba. His stolen day was over.

The boat ride back was largely silent. Neither was sure what to make of the mood that had settled over them; neither wanted to let it go. They reached the dock quickly and got back into Kaiba's car.

"What happened to the red one?" Yami asked. "Every time I've been in your car since the party, it's been this one."

Kaiba frowned and stared straight ahead. "This one's my favorite," he said, aware it was an admission.

Yami decided he liked Kaiba's driving. He liked the speed; he liked the wind in his hair. "So are you planning on becoming a race car driver next?"

Kaiba flashed a grin as he stopped at a red light. "If Kaiba Corporation was an automotive company I probably would be. Designing the car would be more fun though."

Yami smiled. Kaiba looked so kissable as he said that – Yami couldn't help following through on his impulse before the light changed once again. The car flew through the remaining blocks to the game shop.

Sugoroku was sweeping the front of the store when Kaiba pulled up. He ambled over as Yami got out of the convertible, his hair a tangled, salt encrusted mess. "How was your day?"

Yami's grin was all the answer Sugoroku needed, even before Yami added the word, "Amazing!"

"I'm glad." Sugoroku stifled a chuckle. "Yugi's still out with Anzu."

Yami grin widened even further. "You don't need to say 'I told you so.' You saw more clearly than I did, this morning."

This time Sugoroku didn't bother to hide his laughter. "One of the benefits of age. It almost makes up for the creaking joints." Sugoroku glanced at Kaiba. He'd been silent. It looked like he'd been ignoring their exchange, but he'd made no move to turn his engine back on. "Nice car," Sugoroku said.

Kaiba briefly inclined his head in something that, with a little imagination, might have been an acknowledgement of the older man's presence. As usual, his eyes were hooded; the half-averted face was unrevealing. Sugoroku wondered why he was bothering, but getting Kaiba to talk suddenly seemed like a bit of a game in what had turned out to be a very good day. "Mokuba must love it."

Kaiba smiled slightly, an automatic response to hearing his brother's name.

"He likes the red one better. I usually drive him in that," Kaiba said. He looked at Sugoroku for the first time. "You don't need to make conversation just because I drove Yami home, you know."

They both ignored Yami's snort.

"I know," Sugoroku replied, a hint of mockery in his straight-faced assurance. "Neither do you, but here we are, talking anyway." He felt a flush of victory when Kaiba not only laughed, but raised two fingers to his head in salute before driving away.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and helping keep Sugoroku's focus on Yami.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Sorry for the delay in posting, I was sick for a couple of weeks.

**Kaiba and apologies:** I spent a lot of time on the scene where Yami apologizes, because it occurred to me that something as simple as an apology might emphasize the gulf between Kaiba's experiences and those of Yugi and his friends. The kind of apology Kaiba is most used to hearing is what I think of as a public apology: one given for a public relations effect. Think of all the public figures that get caught cheating or taking bribes, or doing something else that most of us would recognize as wrong. The apologies always seem so calculated, they're designed to make the public forgive and (especially) forget rather than as a sincere recognition of hurting people through their actions. I think Kaiba would be used to that type of apology as well as its use as a business strategy, to keep a deal going or, as he said, to lull a business rival off guard.

I wanted him to be blunt and uncomfortable without being deliberately trying to start another argument, because it's entirely possible that Kaiba never had someone apologize to him because they actually cared about his feelings and were genuinely sorry for hurting them. So I could see that catching him off guard.

_**Note to Guest: **_ Thank you! It meant so much to hear that my stories help to cheer you up on a down day. Kaiba and Yami just feel very natural to me, I'm glad you've come to like the pairing as well.

_**Note to KittenWolf 29:**_ It took a little while, but I updated! :-)

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal. The link is on my biopage.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really appreciate comments. They help me figure out what's working and what isn't, and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page – and I can't express how encouraging it is to hear from you. Please review.**_


	10. He's Just Not That Into You

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

**CHAPTER 10: HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU**

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU: Romantic Comedy (despite the title), circa 2009. The plot centers on nine characters – all of who know or know of each other – muddling through various romantic entanglements with the usual bitter-sweetly comedic results. Looking back, it's hard to remember exactly who ended up with who… but the way they laughed and cried on each other's shoulders – and sometimes avoided saying the things that needed to be said – ended up being much more memorable.

_MORAL: Sometimes life is lived through the conversations you have about it._

* * *

Yugi liked walking Anzu home from her dance class. It felt like they were alone, like everyone else on the street were extras in a movie starring them. It was that special. Yugi wondered if he should take the opportunity, when they were in their own private bubble, to ask Anzu out on a date, but he always chickened out.

Anzu and Yami were the two most awesome people Yugi knew (with the possible exception of his grandfather.) They belonged together. It hadn't happened yet – and part of Yugi was hoping it never would, but the other more practical side figured it was simply a matter of time.

Yugi knew it was a terrible strategic move to discuss Yami with Anzu. It might encourage her to think about him even more. But Yugi was nervous about going to Jounouchi; he'd just start ranting about Kaiba – or worse, decide to confront Yami again. And Yugi had always been able to talk about everything with Anzu. She'd always been the one.

"I think Yami's feeling better. A little, anyway. I just wish he'd tell me what's going on. I think he doesn't want to upset me… but I wouldn't mind." Yugi felt better once he'd said Yami's name aloud. Anzu never mentioned Yami first – not to him.

Anzu shook her head. "It was a miracle seeing him standing there in Egypt… knowing it was permanent."

It had been a dream come true, but in Anzu's dreams they'd been dating by now. They'd been one of those annoyingly in love couples that everyone pretends to hate but is secretly jealous of. Anzu acknowledged with an inward sigh that the dream played out better in her fantasies. Reality was Yami sitting silently next to her at burger joints or on the couch in Yugi's house. He was near enough to touch, but somehow more distant than ever, leaving Anzu questioning why he'd ever been her dream in the first place.

And Anzu knew she shouldn't be talking to Yugi about Yami, not when a small, unreasonable part of her was annoyed at Yugi for confusing her, for having grown up, for no longer being the quick to cry, easily dismissed boy from the sandbox. But she couldn't talk to her mother, not when she'd hidden so much already that her mother really believed that Yami was Yugi's cousin from Egypt.

And Yugi had always been the one person she could say anything to.

"Maybe it wasn't a miracle for Yami. And maybe he's afraid he won't be the person you look up to if he admits that he's scared or lost in our world," she said.

"Nothing could change the way I feel about him. But you're right, maybe he needs time to realize that. I wonder if that's why he visits Kaiba so much. Kaiba never looked up to him to begin with."

"He visits Kaiba? Why?"

"I'm not sure. It sounds like all they do is fight. No surprise there. But Yami looks better when he comes home. More alive."

"Maybe right now, Yami needs to fight with someone. And he can't do that with you." Anzu smiled. "I don't think anyone could."

Yugi grinned back, looking more cherubic than ever. He ducked his head and continued, "Kaiba's been strange too. He's really gone out of his way to help. I shouldn't worry about that on top of everything else. It's just…"

"You're not used to Kaiba caring about anyone but himself?"

Yugi blushed but nodded. "I'm being unfair. I know that. Kaiba takes his responsibilities seriously and he seems to have added Yami to the list. It's just that…"

"How on earth can Kaiba help Yami sort out his feelings when he's never been able to get a grip on his own?" Anzu burst out.

"I'm grateful. Really. It's just that… I know he means well, but…"

"But he has all the sensitivity of rock moss and his good intentions have a way of blowing up in all of our faces," Anzu finished.

Yugi protested, "You know, you really don't have to fill in all the mean bits for me. I'm perfectly capable of saying them myself."

Anzu nodded. Once it would have been impossible to imagine Yami being lost or unsure. But if reality had smudged her picture of Yami, Yugi had blurred as well. He was no longer the boy she'd felt such an easy amused exasperation for. And while Yugi would never be as commanding or as poised or as dramatic as Yami, Anzu was starting to realize that in his own unassuming way, he might be just as strong.

"I know. You can do anything." Anzu grabbed his hand and started swinging it as they marched towards her house like a pair of kids running home from the sandbox. She let go only when they reached her door, surprised and flustered to find she'd held it all the way home. She flashed Yugi something that could have been an embarrassed smile before darting inside, slamming the door in her rush to escape. For the first time since he'd started walking her home, Anzu forgot to invite him in.

Yugi walked home grinning.

Yami was in their room when Yugi returned. Yami had changed into the black T-Shirt and blue pants he'd returned from Egypt in. They were the only clothes that were undisputably his. Yami's hair was still damp from the shower.

"So spill it! Where did you and Kaiba go?" Yugi asked.

"The ocean. We were near some island. Kaiba owned it." Yami laughed. "Never mind that! Yugi, I can swim! It was amazing."

Yugi stared at him, puzzled. "I can't. Swim, I mean. At least not well. It makes sense, though. When I was at the museum with Bakura they were listing things ancient Egyptians did for fun – and swimming was one of them… well, that and they gambled a lot."

Yami wondered if Kaiba had known. Then he realized: of course Kaiba had.

"That bastard," Yami said. "Even his schemes have schemes."

Yugi couldn't miss the note of admiration in his partner's voice. "What do you mean?"

"It wasn't just about going swimming, or even taking a day off. Kaiba was trying to show me that I was different from you… that I might enjoy some of those differences."

"Well, of course you're not me! Did you think you had to be? Or that that was what I wanted?" Yugi said.

"Of course not," Yami said a little too quickly to be convincing. "Never mind. What did you do while I was remembering how to swim?"

"Nothing much. I hung out with Bakura and saw Anzu. The museum exhibit was cool. It was earlier than.. you know… your time."

"It's good of you to befriend Bakura."

"I like him. He's brave and loyal and kind. And… he's the only one who knows what it's like… suddenly waking up and being the only one inside your head. I mean even if he hated being forced into that partnership, it's still strange being alone now that it's over."

Yami turned sharply at that. "Yugi?" he asked, consternation in every line of his body.

"You're nothing like the spirit of the ring! I wasn't saying that! I didn't hate it… just the opposite. I meant that Bakura's the only other person who knows what it's like to lose… to suddenly be alone in your head. Everyone takes it for granted." Yugi frowned. "Bakura has whole days he doesn't remember. It wasn't like that with us, not after the beginning."

"Do you miss it? When we were together?" Yami whispered.

"A little sometimes."

Yami nodded. "I do as well. Sometimes."

"I don't feel like that always. Just when I'm feeling down… or lonely. I worry that it means I'm not strong enough to stand on my own, even though I know that's not true. I'm getting better at it every day," Yugi hastened to add.

Yami was surprised to realize that he agreed. "So am I. For all the times I've faltered or doubted, there are also times when I know that this life is here, waiting for me to embrace it."

Yugi smiled, thinking of walking Anzu home, how she'd seemed to look at him and see someone new. "Yeah."

Yami smiled as well, remembering how untouched the day had felt for both himself and for Kaiba, how special discovering it together had been. Yami remembered Kaiba saying that this life wouldn't be real to him until he'd told Yugi. Yesterday it had been unthinkable. Today, making this life real was a step he was ready to take.

Yami opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. It all came tumbling out… his anger… his guilt at disappointing his friends… how confusion seemed to have replaced the certainty and confidence that had been at the foundation of his heart… how lost he felt without that sense of purpose, of destiny… how much he missed it, had been afraid that nothing could replace it, that he was fated to remain a shadow wherever he resided. Once Yami started he couldn't stop and Yugi sat there, quietly listening, hearing everything Yami said, understanding even the things Yami struggled and failed to find the words to recount.

"I love you," Yugi said when Yami finally sputtered to a halt. "And that's for always, no matter what."

Yami rested his head on Yugi's shoulder. Yugi wrapped his arms around his partner in silent support. Kaiba had told Yami to come clean. He'd clearly considered honesty to one's partner (if one was going to have a partner at all) a responsibility that only a coward would try to evade. But Yami realized that what Kaiba hadn't said – and possibly hadn't known – was what a comfort sharing your feelings with a true friend was. Leaning on Yugi, Yami felt strong.

Kaiba had headed for the mansion after dropping Yami off. His scheduling had been impeccable. He had time to return home, shower, dress and make it back to the office before Mokuba's arrival. But if his itinerary was working out as planned, the day itself was proving more difficult to categorize. His agenda had been simple: get Yami back to his old arrogant self, Kaiba hadn't thought about what to expect beyond that big ticket item. It made evaluating what he'd gotten correspondingly difficult.

Kaiba reached home and ran through his bedroom to the bathroom. He peeled off his clothes and jumped in the shower, pleased that each time thoughts of Yami intruded – the way his water-darkened hair had lain in gold and crimson and black streaks across Kaiba's chest as they sprawled in the sand, the salt-sweet taste of his skin, the feel of his body pressed against Kaiba's like a second wetsuit – his mind was still well disciplined enough to banish them. Even though the shower water pouring down his back reminded Kaiba of the ocean, of Yami's legs wrapped tightly around his hips as they'd kissed, Kaiba forced himself to stay on task, to avoid time wasting activities, no matter how tempting… no matter how much the feel of hands, any hands, even his own, threatened to distract him as he soaped and rinsed himself off. He repressed a smile of satisfaction as he towel dried his hair and hurried to get dressed; a victory was a victory no matter the arena. The only indulgence he'd permitted was his continued pondering of all the ways the day had been unsettlingly new. By the time he left the mansion, Kaiba was once again impeccably styled in a long white trenchcoat; his shirt, pants and tie in contrasting shades of blue and gray, his face completely composed.

Kaiba had never spent a day … he'd never _shared_ a day… like this before. He'd given in to the urge to see Yami outside of his office, a desire that still mystified him. That he'd had a good time was irrelevant. Good times weren't something that Seto Kaiba did. The day had dropped a new piece of information into the data set of his known behaviors, irrevocably altering their parameters… and Kaiba wasn't sure what to do with the knowledge.

Kaiba wasn't ignorant. He knew that going swimming with someone, kissing them even, were hardly uncommon activities. But as ordinary as those behaviors might be to everyone else, they'd never been part of his life before Yami – and he wasn't sure how to recognize or reconcile a Seto Kaiba who'd now done both. With a Seto Kaiba who'd enjoyed it… who wanted it to happen again and more.

Kaiba jumped into the red car and sped off to work, no closer to understanding the day's events, even though a smile snuck across his face every time he thought about them.

Kaiba made it back to his office before Mokuba showed up. He nodded to his secretary, Ms. Tamashiro. She pretended not to notice that his hair was still slightly damp.

The usual pile of work was waiting on his desk. He turned on his computer. Kaiba hesitated, then ignored his email, choosing instead to continue his own personal odyssey of trying to locate, track and disable the weapons he'd created. He'd said that it was a new day. It was time to see how long it would last.

Mokuba entered the office a half hour later. Kaiba was at his desk, glaring at the computer as if he could stare straight through it to find the information he sought. At some point he'd bitten his lower lip hard enough or often enough to draw blood.

Mokuba took one look at him and knew that his brother was searching for weapons again. Mokuba hated what the hunt did to Kaiba, how he seemed to withdraw into some bitter place where Mokuba couldn't follow. Mokuba had protested once, he'd begged his brother to stop. Mokuba had been sorry ever since. Kaiba's solution had been to make sure he continued his search in secret, when the last thing Mokuba wanted was for Kaiba to retreat even further.

Kaiba looked up as Mokuba stepped into the room and shut the door. "Just give me a second, Mokuba," Kaiba said, the intent expression erasing itself from his face. Kaiba closed the programs on his computer and checked that the password protections were back in place.

"No it's okay. You don't have to stop. I'm proud of you for trying to find those weapons. It's something you have to do… that _we_ have to do," Mokuba said.

Kaiba didn't answer.

"I know I told you to stop before, but I didn't understand anything except that you looked sad when you did it. I'm older now."

Kaiba looked at him for a moment, possibly calculating how many hours had passed since that day and this one. Finally he nodded. "Yes. You are."

"I was so stupid. I let you down…"

"No! You've never let me down. Never," Kaiba interrupted.

"You were doing the right thing. I'm proud of you. And I want to help. But I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me, when that's all I've ever wanted. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Not to me." Kaiba frowned. It was his second apology of the day. Yami's had warmed something inside of him. Mokuba's hurt. How could he let Mokuba apologize to him when Kaiba was so much more to blame, when his guilt could hardly be absolved by something as simple as a few mumbled words?

Mokuba frowned. He knew how his brother felt about apologies. Mokuba hadn't meant to upset him all over again, but Kaiba had so many rules. Even after all these years Mokuba occasionally forgot one. He nodded towards the now dark computer monitor and asked, "Any luck?"

Kaiba glanced at his computer and shook his head. "No. I don't know why I expected anything to be different. Today's a day just like any other. This just proves it, now matter what I'd thought." He shook his bangs off his face. "It's not important. How was your get-together with your schoolmates?"

Mokuba hunched a shoulder. "It was fun. They're a nice bunch. Hiroyuki's mom made lunch and had plenty of snack stuff. Then we went to the park. But never mind that! You really took a day off? With Yami?"

Kaiba nodded.

"Then how can you say this was an ordinary day? I never saw you do that before! Was it… fun? What did you do?"

Kaiba shrugged. "Don't get used to the idea. It probably won't happen again."

"Why not? Didn't you have a good time?"

Kaiba considered the matter. "Yeah, after we got done fighting."

Mokuba's eyes narrowed; his hands went to his hips. "Nisama! This was supposed to be a special day! What did you fight about?"

"What do we ever fight about? Yami didn't like something I said."

"Yeah, he usually doesn't," Mokuba agreed. "So if you had fun and didn't fight more than usual, of course you can do it again. Where did you go?"

"Swimming. In the ocean."

Mokuba smiled. His brother loved to swim. He didn't do it often enough. "Well, there's plenty of warm weather left. You can take more than one day off in your life, you know. Yami will probably be back tomorrow or the day after. And there's always the weekend."

"I hope not," Kaiba said. "Yugi has no clue what's bothering Yami. I think Yami's finally ready to stop wimping out and deal with his partner. Which means soon Yami will be pouring all his boring problems into Yugi's ear instead of wasting my time any more."

"Nisama?" Mokuba said hesitantly, stunned by the bleak look on his brother's face.

Kaiba shrugged. "It'll all work out in the end. And at least I've cleared our books of the obligation to all the Mutous – real and created." Kaiba said it with a certain amount of satisfaction. He'd hated feeling indebted to them. The knowledge that he owed them for Mokuba's life and his own had chafed until something inside himself was rubbed raw by his own unredeemed obligations.

But no matter how sincere his words had been, Mokuba noted that his brother refused to meet his eyes. And Mokuba couldn't help wondering if repaying that debt was all his brother wanted. Did his Nisama even realize that he needed a friend as badly?

"Good," Mokuba said firmly. "Because if you've paid Yami back, then when he returns, we can all start fresh."

Kaiba shook his head, but he was smiling as he dove into the stack of work in front of him. Mokuba grabbed a tablet off his brother's desk and settled onto the couch, but he didn't bother turning the device on. Mokuba sat and stared at it and thought. His brother would never admit it – not out loud and maybe not even to himself – but spending the day with a friend... hell, having a friend at all, was obviously a big deal to him. And true to form, Kaiba was already planning for all the ways it would come back to bite him in the ass. Mokuba was pretty sure Kaiba was wrong about Yami, but as he looked at the tentative, hopeful smile on his brother's face, it struck Mokuba for the first time just how much it would hurt his Nisama if Yami let him down.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter. **_You've done such a good job reminding me to keep continuity details in mind over the years that I actually remembered to have Kaiba take off his clothes before jumping in the shower all on my own!

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** I would agree with Kaiba's assessment that he isn't ignorant. He isn't unintelligent, either. What he is, however, is very damaged. All his relationships have centered around abandonment, betrayal or abuse, so even if he admitted that he wanted to explore friendship – or a romantic relationship, I'm not sure he knows what a good one would look like, much less how to recognize one in its beginning stages.

**Title Note:** The title is a bit of a two meanings in one deal because I think that's Kaiba's working assumption for how Yami feels about him.

**Shower Note:** I just have to say that it's really hard to write a paragraph that has Kaiba basically being smug for resisting the urge to jerk off in the shower without being too vague or too crass. Thanks to Splintered Star for helping me to sort it out. I hope I got the balance right. I can honestly say that in over ten years of writing fanfiction, this was a first.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal. The link is on my biopage.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really appreciate comments. They help me figure out what's working and what isn't, and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page – and I can't express how encouraging it is to hear from you. Please review.**_


	11. Ball of Fire

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

**CHAPTER 11: BALL OF FIRE**

BALL OF FIRE: Screwball comedy, circa 1941. It seemed like a simple enough exchange. Gary Cooper's Professor Bertram Potts would give Barbara Stanwyck's night club singer, Sugarpuss O'Shea, a hideout from the police. In return, Sugarpuss (the ball of fire in the title) would teach the professor all about modern slang. The one thing they forgot to work out: who would give the lessons on falling in love.

_MORAL: Even the most carefully crafted deals have hidden snags._

* * *

Kaiba had been in a coma when Ms. Tamashiro had started to work at Kaiba Corporation. Her friends had said, "Poor boy," when she'd told them she'd taken the job. They'd teased her about working for a teenager after he'd recovered. But sometimes she felt like she and Isono were the only ones at Kaiba Corporation who remembered what her friends had clearly seen – that her boss was still a kid, younger than her own son. And a lonely one at that. She'd always figured Kaiba was too aloof to realize how solitary he was… until he'd somehow made a friend.

She smiled as she saw Yami get off the elevator at the end of the hall. He flashed her a smug grin in return.

"You're in luck. I'm about to put your boss in a better mood," he called out as he approached her desk.

"Oh? The CEO of a corporation never has any bad moods that a loyal employee would notice," she answered with fake demureness.

"You and Isono must get along perfectly," he countered.

"Isono is a pleasant and sensible co-worker," she agreed, still in the same prim voice.

Yami laughed. "Well, I'm about to give Kaiba the king of all chances to point out that he knew best. You can thank me if he lets the everyone go home early in celebration of his victory."

She stifled a chuckle, told Yami that Kaiba was with his brother and buzzed him in. Her friends would never understand, but there was something surprisingly sweet about working for a teenager, especially one who was finally learning how to act his age.

Mokuba was sitting next to Kaiba when Yami entered the room. The brothers were reviewing the scheduling and logistics of their upcoming tournament. Kaiba was writing in the margins of the pages scattered across his desk. He finished his notes and stacked most of the papers in front of his brother. Mokuba glanced at Yami, his gaze searchlight brief. He leaned over and whispered to Kaiba, too quietly for Yami to hear, "See. I told you so."

"We'll see," Kaiba answered, not bothering to lower his voice.

Mokuba scooped up the papers and, with another laser look at Yami, left the room.

Yami watched him exit, then turned to face Kaiba. "I told Yugi. You were right. Go ahead and say, 'I told you so.' That should make you happy."

Kaiba's lips twitched. "Of course I'm right. Did you drop by just to state the obvious?"

Yami grinned back. "No, you oaf. I wanted to thank you." Unexpectedly, Kaiba's face froze into immobility at that pronouncement. Yami stared at him for a moment before asking, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything's back to normal. You're in sync with your friends again and I can finally get some work done without you needing to drop by every other day."

"You're kicking me out?" Yami asked incredulously.

"I'm anticipating your next move."

"Really? Well, anticipate this, you son of a bitch!" Yami said. He walked over to Kaiba's side of the desk and swiveled Kaiba's chair around until they were facing each other. For once Kaiba was looking up at him. Yami decided he liked viewing Kaiba from this vantage point. He leaned down and crushed his lips against his rival's.

When he raised his head, Yami saw the last thing he expected: uncertainty was crowding out lust in those impossibly deep blue eyes. Yami had been stumbling through this world, hating his own lack of direction. He'd resented Kaiba for pushing him forwards every step of the way, had wanted to see his rival taken down a peg. Now, Yami wasn't sure how he felt seeing the same sense of uncertainty clouding his rival's eyes, before all emotion besides wariness leached out of them.

Kaiba understood human social interactions – the ones relevant to his areas of concern, anyway. If this was a business negotiation, he would have been on familiar ground. He would have been comfortable. He wouldn't have been someone's-going-to-pay-for-this pissed. It had started out simply enough: Yami needed to get his mojo back, Kaiba was going to help so he could wipe the books clean of his obligation. He'd been successful after a fashion. Yami was back with his friends. He was even finally up to Kaiba's weight in a duel… now that Yami had Yugi back to play with.

Kaiba had expected Yami to stop by to thank him. Yami was like that. That task done, Kaiba had figured they'd go their separate ways. Except they'd just ended up kissing, like nothing had changed between yesterday and today.

For an instant Yami could have sworn he saw a hurt expression sheltering behind the blank look on Kaiba's face. Then Kaiba's lips twitched in his familiar predatory grin and the moment was gone.

"I must be an even better kisser than I thought, if it brought you back here for a goodbye one." Despite his best efforts, Kaiba sounded slightly breathless, as if the effort of holding back his emotions had left him with barely enough air to speak.

"That wasn't a goodbye kiss, you jerk. Neither is this one." Yami leaned down again, enjoying how eager Kaiba was to meet him halfway.

"Aaahhh…. So even though everything's fine with your old playmates, you want to continue our game," Kaiba said when Yami raised his head again.

Yami wanted to scream, "No, this isn't a game," but it had all the heat and tension of one, the same excitement of seeing your opponent reveal himself with every move, of being true to yourself with every turn of a card. It might not have been a game, but Yami couldn't have defined what it _was_, instead.

Then Kaiba reached up to pull Yami back to him; his lips claimed Yami's and the time for saying anything had passed. Yami was left somewhere between relief at not having to answer – and the growing sense that a stall was the worst possible move to make. Yami jerked his head up from Kaiba's. He couldn't let Kaiba's statement stand unchallenged.

"Kaiba…" Yami murmured, before running out of words. He leaned in, more gently this time. But Yami should have known that gentleness couldn't last, that it wasn't what either of them wanted right now. He pulled Kaiba half out of his chair. Kaiba threw his weight forward, pressing his advantage. Now Yami was the one leaning back, half lying on Kaiba's desk. If there was one thing Kaiba understood, it was leverage. He used one hand to hold Yami in place, while the other reached up under Yami's shirt, drifting along the line of his collar-bone. Kaiba rubbed his palm from one pectoral muscle to the next, pausing to trace Yami's nipples with his fingers. There was a studious intensity to Kaiba's movements.

Yami moaned, and thrashed his head from side to side, breaking the seal of their lips. Kaiba reached over to force Yami's face back to his. Yami had been holding onto Kaiba, his palms against Kaiba's back. Now his hands slid inside Kaiba's pants. One hand stopped just below the waistband, pressing their bodies even more tightly together. The other moved further downwards to stroke Kaiba's lean hip, to knead Kaiba's ass, to trace the line where it joined his upper thigh.

And at that intimate touch, that sudden shared awareness of each other's arousal, all semblance of restraint fled. Kaiba groaned aloud, surprised at the raw need the sound revealed. He wondered what the hell he was doing, even as he couldn't stop grinding harder into Yami with each furious motion, even as he came closer to losing control with each thrust of cloth against cloth. He needed air, he needed his head to stop spinning, he needed to lose himself in this, he needed to figure out if losing himself really _was_ losing, or if it was a new, previously unexplored way to win, to finally gain something for himself.

"Kaiba," Yami gasped, when Kaiba lifted his head once more; their bodies were still entwined. "When we do this, I feel alive."

"Good." Kaiba snapped. For an instant, the hint of a smirk flashed across Kaiba's face as he put this encounter firmly in the win column. Then just as quickly, his face darkened with anger.

"What the fuck do you mean by that? You _are_ alive. You should know it without needing to use me or anyone else for proof," he snarled.

"For the second time in two days, you're absolutely right." Yami brushed the hair back from Kaiba's forehead, knowing it would flop down again to cover his eyes the moment Yami dropped his hand. "But… when I'm with you… I feel like I know what it means to be reborn, to experience everything for the first time. Each time we kiss, it gets harder to stop, to walk away from that. One day soon, I won't." Yami had begun his speech quietly; he'd ended it as forcefully as ever. He wasn't about to admit to Kaiba that he was nervous, that he had no idea what this undefined "more" he kept pushing for would look or feel like – and that part of him was afraid of finding out. But Yami's bravado paid off, as his overconfidence so often did.

Kaiba stared at him, eyes dark, pupils dilated. He gave a brief nod, then resumed his study of Yami's face. "I presume that means you're planning on returning," he said as he stepped away.

Yami got up, straightened his clothes and moved towards the door. "You can count on it," he said with a smug grin as he left.

Kaiba bent down, grabbed the crumpled papers that had fallen from his desk onto the floor and smoothed them out. He sat down again and shook his head as if he could shake all thoughts of Yami out of it. But Yami couldn't be dismissed as easily as he'd left. His parting words kept coming back into Kaiba's head, making him lose focus every time, as if Yami had managed to steal a victory simply by being so memorable.

Kaiba stared at the closed door and considered what Yami had said: _"When we do this, I feel alive."_

Kaiba had been looking for a reason why Yami had come back. Maybe it was that simple. The first time Yami had kissed Kaiba, he'd said that he'd done it to see what it was like… because kissing was what living people did. Yesterday, (had it really been only a day ago?) at the beach, Yami had marveled about how new it had all felt. This was possibly the one thing Yami needed Kaiba for, the one thing he couldn't get from his friends.

It was all new for Kaiba too, although Kaiba had no intention of revealing that fact until his own inexperience gave him away. But he couldn't admit the truth, even if he was playing a losing game. He liked having Yami think of him as the expert. He liked having the upper hand and he intended to keep it as long as possible.

In a way that made it manageable: he and Yami were simply exchanging and facilitating a variety of unprecedented experiences. It was a limited and equal transaction, one where both parties walked away satisfied with their share of the bargain. That was a definition of friendship Kaiba could live with, one that made it easier to ignore his feeling of disappointment in his own logical conclusions.

The door to Mokuba's office was open. Yami paused on his way to the elevator. He looked back to see Ms. Tamashiro nodding at him. For a moment her smile reminded him of Yugi's grandfather.

Yami glanced at the open door again, bothered as he remembered the assessing expression on Mokuba's face. Mokuba hadn't turned that look on him since he'd tried to gauge Yami's sincerity at Duelists Kingdom. And Yami hated the thought of Mokuba being bothered or upset. He was such a loyal little guy.

Yami hesitated for another moment, suddenly remembering that kissing Kaiba had been the one thing he hadn't told Yugi. It was too new, too intimate to share. He didn't consider it Mokuba's business either. He hoped that Kaiba had felt the same. He inhaled and walked into the office.

"You came back," Mokuba said with a smile.

Yami groaned. "Not you too. Yes, I straightened things out with Yugi. Yes, I'm feeling better. Yes, Yugi will always be my partner, my other self in spirit. And no, none of that means Kaiba is any less my friend than he was yesterday." Yami stopped, uneasily aware that he'd failed to say any of this as directly to Kaiba – who probably needed to hear it more.

"Well… okay, then," Mokuba said. He knew that sounded snippy when Yami had just said everything he wanted to hear, but he couldn't help seeing that slight hopeful smile on his brother's face, couldn't help remembering all the times Yami had hurt his brother or pushed him aside for his gang. He wished that his brother had decided to make Anzu or Yugi his first friend instead. They seemed safer, somehow. But Mokuba couldn't think of a way to say all of that especially since his brother would have been furious if he voiced any of it.

Mokuba shook his head, concentrating on all the times Yami had helped them instead, all the times Yami had gotten his brother to slow down and think, all the times Yami had shown how much he cared. Before the silence lasted too long, Mokuba threw in a smile and added, "So you went swimming, huh? We have a pool, but Nisama prefers the ocean."

Yami relaxed slightly, glad that Kaiba also considered some details too private to share. "I'd never swam in the ocean before. It was incredible." Yami shook his head. "Yugi doesn't like to swim. I wonder if there are other ways in which we'll differ."

"Uh… it was always pretty easy to tell you apart," Mokuba said hesitantly. He didn't add that the main difference was that Yami was a ton scarier. He might have been quieter since returning from Egypt, but Mokuba was betting that horror movie Yami wasn't gone for good.

"I'd never thought about it before. There never was a need."

There was another pause. Yami wondered when Mokuba had become this hard to talk to. He made a move towards the door, then stopped and said, "Your brother was surprised I came back. He should have known me better."

"He has his reasons."

"They're in the past. They have nothing to do with me."

Mokuba shrugged. It was true, but it wasn't the whole story. "He trusts you, kind of… even if he was planning on the worst. He isn't used to things working out any other way." The measuring look was back. Mokuba needed to know if Yami understood what a responsibility earning Kaiba's trust was… and if he was up to the challenge of being Seto Kaiba's first friend.

"I know. Friendship is the most precious thing there is. The word makes your brother uncomfortable, but he's been a true one."

This time, Mokuba's grin was wholehearted. "So are you," he said.

Yami returned to the game shop after leaving Mokuba's office. Sugoroku was behind the counter. Yugi and Anzu were stocking a display of newly released duel monsters booster packs in front of it, surrounded by two boys and a girl. All three seemed equally interested in Yugi and the display. Sugoroku was beaming at Anzu with a look that Yami hoped was grandfatherly. It was sometimes hard to tell with Sugoroku.

As Yami approached them, the three kids swiveled their heads from Yugi to Yami, whispering together. They nudged each other, clearly working up the courage to talk, as they made their selections and walked up to the counter.

"Which one of you is the Duel Monsters Champion?" the shortest boy finally asked.

Anzu giggled when Yami and Yugi pointed at each other.

"That's not funny!" the kid protested.

"He is Yugi Mutou," Yami said, pointing for a second time.

"Are you twins?" the girl asked. "I never read anything about twin duel champions."

"Cousins," Yugi said when Yami didn't answer.

"Oh, cousins. That explains it," the oldest boy commented with a superior air.

Yami had to admire Kaiba's audacity. The more coincidences he'd piled on to his story of near-identical cousins who both happened to share a birthday, three years apart, and a love for duel monsters, the more people swallowed the whole package of lies without thinking twice.

"Wow! Identical cousins! Are you a duelist too?" the girl asked Yami.

Yami didn't answer. He was suddenly distracted… Kaiba had never had a problem telling them apart – or deciding which one he wanted to kiss.

"He sure is!" Yugi said proudly, before Yami's silence lasted long enough to be noticeable.

"You both have equal claim to the title," Sugoroku pointed out after the kids and their purchases had left. "You won those matches together."

"No. I refuse to take that from you," Yami said to Yugi.

"Is that why you haven't said anything about Kaiba's upcoming tournament?"

Yami nodded.

"Wait… aren't you going to compete? I assumed that's why Kaiba's throwing this whole tournament… well part of the reason, anyway. I figured that would be your introduction – or reintroduction – to the gaming world!" Yugi exclaimed.

"I couldn't…"

"What? Overshadow me? Take away the title you insist is mine? Don't you think you should have asked me first what I want?" Yugi said.

"I know you can win. But this was supposed to be your moment. It's your life, not mine."

"But you have a life too, now!" Yugi insisted.

"You're not being fair to Yugi," Anzu blurted out.

All three men turned to stare at her.

"I know you don't mean it, Yami," she said earnestly. "But it's like you're saying no one would give Yugi a second look if you were there, like he's not as important or as strong... and that's just not true!" She stopped and put her hand to her mouth.

"You know I would never insult you. If you're sure this is what you want…" Yami began, only to stop when he realized Yugi hadn't heard a word he'd said.

"Anzu…" Yugi said.

"I just remembered… I have to go home…" Anzu turned and rushed out of the shop, stumbling a little in her haste to escape, years of training in moving gracefully, forgotten.

Yugi ran after her. "Wait! I'll walk you!" he called out.

"I guess I'm dueling," Yami said to Sugoroku with a wry smile.

"I think my grandson will give you a run for your money. His sense of timing has definitely improved," Sugoroku said with an answering grin.

Yami was waiting for Yugi when he got home. Now that the ice had broken, he couldn't wait to talk to Yugi again… and to find out what happened with Anzu.

"How did it go, partner?" Yami asked the instant Yugi walked in the door.

Yugi shook his head. "I didn't ask her."

"Yugi!" Yami exclaimed.

Yugi hung his head. "I know. I chickened out again. I got distracted. It's her eyes. They're so blue. When she gets worked up they look just like the blowtorch we use in chemistry lab." Yugi smiled ruefully. "It's a little like getting caught in one too. And her hair… it's not just brown… when the sun hits it, you can see all these red and gold highlights too. I bet it's soft." Yugi caught himself and blushed. "Sorry. I got carried away."

Yami didn't answer. Yugi glanced at him. Yami was staring into space. He swallowed and jerked his attention back to Yugi. For the first time that Yugi could remember since the time he'd set Yami up on a blind date with Anzu back when they'd shared a body, Yami looked embarrassed.

"Are you interested in Anzu, after all? Because if you are..." Yugi said.

"No. Of course not."

"It looked like you were daydreaming about her. And seeing her always makes you feel better."

"I've told you before. Stop trying to give other people the things you want for yourself. I wasn't thinking about Anzu at all," Yami said.

"But you were thinking of someone," Yugi pointed out.

A dozen sentences flashed through Yami's head: "My mind just wandered for a moment…" "It's nothing…" "There's no one on my mind…"

Yugi's voice broke into his thoughts. "I'm sorry. You don't have to answer, unless it's to tell me that it's none of my business."

Yami looked at Yugi's slightly over-bright smile. He couldn't keep any more secrets from Yugi. The last one – and the distance it created – had hurt too much. He wasn't even sure why this was a secret anyway, at least from Yugi, even if he wasn't ready to share it with anyone else. Yugi was his partner. Yami drew in a breath, let it out and said, "It's Kaiba. His eyes are blue, too."

At any other time Yami would have laughed. Yugi's eyes were two perfectly round orbs, matched only by the circle of his opened mouth.

"Does Kaiba feel the same?" Yugi finally managed to gasp out.

Yami paused. Exactly what Kaiba felt was, as usual, a secret he guarded very closely. That he felt something was beyond debate. Yami remembered how Kaiba had braced himself when he thought Yami had come over to thank him and say goodbye… the relief he hadn't quite been able to hide when Yami had kissed him instead.

"Yes," Yami said firmly. After all, Yami wasn't sure how he felt about this whole turn of events; sometimes he half resented the attraction. It was an intrusion, as frustrating as an itch in a spot he couldn't quite reach no matter how hard he tried. His desire seemed to rise up to taunt him, as unpredictable and uncontrollable as life itself, when a few weeks ago he'd been ready to surrender instead to the quiet certainty of the grave.

He'd gained a body only to become uncomfortably, painfully aware of it every time he thought of Kaiba, every time he anticipated the next time he'd have Kaiba in his arms. Each encounter pushed him to go further, even as he tried and failed to sort out how anything had happened at all. Kaiba upset him, angered him… and made him happy. Yami could safely say that Kaiba shared every conflicted feeling, that he was just as confused and resented his own loss of balance just as deeply.

"But you guys fight all the time!" Yugi exclaimed.

Yami nodded. It would be different, he supposed, if Kaiba was his boyfriend, a thought that made him want to roll his eyes. Yami frowned, wondering if his feelings for Kaiba should be more in line with Yugi's for Anzu. Yugi's thoughts were simple and direct, nothing like the confusing tangle of frustration and elation that defined his for Kaiba. Maybe as he grew more accustomed to living, they would fade away, would be replaced by the alien feelings Yugi keep describing.

"So you mean all those times… you've been _dating?_" Yugi's voice squeaked again.

"Hardly that. It's more like… like dueling." It had the same charge, the same feeling of excitement. He looked forward to each encounter, each verbal exchange, each kiss, each clash as if it was the next turn of a card. Yami paused. He couldn't imagine repeating that to Yugi.

"Dueling?" Yugi asked. His mouth had dropped open again.

"Yeah, dueling. We're just not using cards."

"Yami?"

"I'm not always like you," Yami said. He was glad the words sounded casual, as if he hadn't been avoiding that realization for weeks.

"I know that. But you're not like Kaiba either. You don't have Kaiba's practice at not giving a damn."

Yami didn't reply. He couldn't argue with Yugi, not when he had enough uncertainties of his own, not when there were times when he couldn't help feeling that kissing Kaiba had complicated everything unbearably, even while he couldn't stop doing it.

But that didn't mean he agreed with Yugi unconditionally either. For one thing, Yami was starting to doubt that Kaiba was as adept at not caring as he liked to pretend.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Okay, I admit it… I love the idea that both Yami and Yugi have a thing for tall, blue-eyed brunettes with tons of attitude. The idea that they share a type is too cute for words.

On a more serious note, Kaiba's jumping from wrong conclusion to wrong conclusion here. But the pattern of his life up until the moment he meets Yugi is one of abandonment and betrayal. He's used to people trying to use him to serve their agendas – and being willing to discard him afterwards. He's starting to trust Yami, but under stress I think he would revert back to what he knows best. Kaiba can come across as being monumentally selfish and obnoxiously insistent on getting his way. But I think that's because, since his parent's death, he's never had anyone make his well-being a priority – particularly his emotional well-being, something he barely acknowledges himself.

I wanted to explore how that would all play out here.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal. The link is on my biopage.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you and your comments help me figure out what's missing, what's working and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. I can't express how encouraging it is. **_


	12. If Only You Could Cook

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 12: IF YOU COULD ONLY COOK**

IF YOU COULD ONLY COOK: Screwball comedy, circa 1935. Jean Arthur (the Queen of Depression era comedies) stars as an out-of-work, out-of-a-place-to-live gal who persuades Herbert Marshall's incognito automobile executive to pose as her husband so they can take a job as a live-in cook and butler team on a Long Island estate. They proceed to pretend they're in love on the job only to pretend that they don't care when they're alone.

_MORAL: When the story gets too complicated, it's hard to remember what your roles really are, much less figure out what you want them to be._

* * *

Yami looked around the store and grinned at Sugoroku. He'd suggested picking a couple of mornings and having games available for preschoolers to try out – and hopefully for their parents to buy. The selection changed every week or so. The kids loved it and Yami loved watching them.

"So educational!" a mother exclaimed as she handed a puzzle across the counter to Yami.

He agreed with a smile as he rang up the purchase, although he wasn't sure what education had to do with it. He wondered if Kaiba's mother would have been like them – combing the shelves for toys for her genius child. Kaiba had never spoken about her.

Finally the last of the children (and their parents) had left, and it was time move the toys to the back, so that no trace remained to taint the store when the teenagers came rushing in after school. Yugi was coming to help when he got out as well.

"It's not a bad life, is it?" Sugoroku said.

Yami nodded, wondering if there was any deeper meaning to Sugoroku's words. "I love it." He paused. "But it's not my destiny. That's still out there, somewhere, I hope."

"Take your time, now that you have it," Sugoroku advised.

"That's what Yugi tells me as well."

"My grandson's a smart boy. You don't need to find destiny today. Next week will be soon enough," Sugoroku said with a laugh.

Yami smiled. He knew he was supposed to. "Kaiba told me I didn't have to be a pharaoh to save the world. He said that anyone could try, that I just needed to pick the part of it I cared about and hold my ground. Speaking of Kaiba, I'm off to his office when we finish cleaning up here."

"You've been seeing a lot of him," Sugoroku said as Yami helped him move the large duel monsters display back to the center of the store.

Yami nodded. It was easier than trying to explain the convoluted mess they'd made of their friendship.

Sugoroku straightened up and looked around the store. "I guess we're done here. Head out any time you want." He cleared his throat. "Speaking of saving the world, I hope you're not seeing Kaiba out of some misguided idea that you can do the same for him. Saving the world is easy compared to rescuing someone from their own demons."

"No. It's not like that at all. Well, not only like that. I do want to help, but..." Yami paused, then smiled. "Kaiba reminds me how exciting life is. I didn't expect it, but he listens, even when I'm ashamed of what I'm saying. He makes me feel..."

"What?" Sugoroku asked when Yami paused again.

"Everything. Angry. Happy. Frustrated. Sad. I'm not always sure that's a good thing. It was simpler before, when all that mattered was Yugi's safety and my latest mission. I miss that sometimes."

"Certainty is comforting. Most illusions are," Sugoroku observed.

Yami dropped his head. "I know I shouldn't miss it. I should be satisfied."

"There are very few 'shoulds' or 'shouldn'ts' in life – and how you feel isn't among them."

Yami paused for a third time. He glanced up. Sugoroku nodded for him to continue.

"Kaiba likes the part of me that's least like Yugi. He keeps pushing me… further towards living, I guess. He refuses to quit – and he won't let me give up either, even at the beginning when I wanted to, even when I get so mad, I feel like I used to before calling a penalty game, like I want to punish him for forcing me to admit that I'm here, that I'm staying, that I'm my own person." Yami made a sudden, choked off sound, caught halfway between a laugh and a snort. "And like the jerk he is, Kaiba doesn't have a problem with that."

"You never were Yugi. And that's okay. Yami's a wonderful person, even if he does get mad at times. I think you'll like him once you get to know him a little better."

"But at the same time," Yami continued, "Kaiba makes me feel like it's okay to be real, to be whoever it is I end up becoming."

Sugoroku reached out to grab Yami's shoulder and squeeze it. "You're right. You need to explore what it means to be alive." Sugoroku sighed. It was strange that Kaiba, who seemed to understand so little of living himself was managing to teach Yami so much. He couldn't resist adding a note of warning. "Just be careful."

Yami frowned. "Why? Do you hate Kaiba for what he did to you at Death-T? For what he tried to do to us all?"

"I did once. But he's paid for his actions. I can see he's changed… that he's become a better person. And he seems to be trying to be a good friend to you." It was Sugoroku's turn to pause. "But that young man's life is a speeding car on an icy road. I don't want you to be a passenger when the inevitable crash comes."

Yami was glad that the walk to Kaiba Corporation was a long one. He'd meant every word he'd said to Sugoroku, but he'd left so much out… softness of Kaiba's lips on his, the disorientingly dizzy feeling every time Kaiba touched him, as if he was coming to life in a way beyond expecting or imagining.

And yet, he couldn't help feeling like something had been lost as well. He wasn't about to admit it to Kaiba, but he missed those first days, when he'd stopped by Kaiba's office and all they'd done was talk. They'd fought too, of course, but there had been an easiness to their intercourse that had vanished the morning they'd woken up to realize they'd kissed the night before. They hadn't gotten it back until the day they'd gone to Kaiba's beach.

Yami wanted Kaiba, wanted to lay in a bed with him and explore the body he'd only caught glimpses of, wanted the time to study every silken inch, wanted to take Kaiba and be taken in turn. But he was afraid that the intimacy he kept pushing for would end up upsetting the fragile equilibrium they'd managed to achieve; he was afraid of losing the friend in his search for a lover.

Kaiba glanced at the clock on his computer monitor, annoyed with himself for wondering if Yami was going to show up. They never made plans in advance. That would have made it too real, would have turned Yami into someone who could disappoint him. Yet here he was staring at the clock anyway. Kaiba shook his head and pushed the papers on his desk aside. He picked up the game Yami had returned yesterday and turned it over in his hands. Kaiba had expected Yami to bring it back himself. He'd wanted to give Yami a reason to stop by occasionally when he'd hired him. Yami had chosen to send it back by messenger, instead. Was Yami telling Kaiba that he didn't need an excuse to visit? That seeing Kaiba was what he wanted as well?

Kaiba had opened the package immediately, instantly impressed by the level of detail in Yami's analysis. It was a reminder of the dangers of underestimating Yami. Kaiba had stayed up playing all night with Yami once again as his phantom opponent. He'd been left, as happened so often in their association, with questions. He wondered if this new Yami, the one he kept kissing, had any answers.

Kaiba had known how to deal with the old Yami. They'd fought, bitterly at times. They'd probed relentlessly, searching for a weak spot in the other's armor. They'd pushed each other until they'd traveled further than either could have alone, turned each encounter into an exhilarating battle held on a tightrope suspended in space. Yami thrilled him like no one had before, reached into some part of his soul to thrust him into becoming a man worthy of a true future.

He'd been able to talk to that Yami… not often or well, but better than with anyone else. Maybe it was because Yami had seen everything Kaiba had spent his life hiding... he'd been there the day Kaiba had tried to kill his brother and the day Kaiba had been ready to jump off a tower to save him. Yami had named him a friend, afterwards. Kaiba didn't know how to admit, even to himself, that he missed that.

Nor did Kaiba know how to acknowledge that he needed it.

Something had shifted after their first kiss – and all the ones that had followed. Yami had changed from someone Kaiba had started to think he could talk to into someone he wanted to have touch him. But there were times when, no matter how much he looked forward to the next embrace, Kaiba would have gladly hit a reset button, had one been available.

Kaiba glanced at the clock on his computer screen again. It was three hours until his next

conference call. It was five hours until he had to pick Mokuba up. He had too much time.

Yami was glad to leave his thoughts at the door when he arrived at Kaiba Corporation. Anticipation elbowed out his doubts, just as he knew it would. Yami went upstairs, nodded to Kaiba's secretary, Ms. Tamashiro, and opened the door to Kaiba's office. Kaiba looked up from his computer and grunted as Yami entered. Any words Kaiba might have come up fled. All that remained was the sight of Yami framed by the window, the light throwing his face and body into silhouette. Yami looked like he had when they'd first met, when they'd first played a penalty game. Yami looked like he had when he'd briefly named himself Atem, when he'd stood, an other-worldly visitor, bathed in the light of Horakhty's rays. Kaiba swallowed, the sound audible in the silent room.

Yami turned from Kaiba to look out the window, then pivoted to face his rival again. Kaiba had risen. He stood behind his ornate desk, a relic of another era, his face and torso mirrored in its polished surface. Kaiba's arms were crossed in front of his body, his hips were thrust slightly forward. He was in his standard dueling posture, although Yami could no longer tell why they were fighting. Yami swallowed as well, his throat dry.

"How are you?" Yami finally asked.

Kaiba shrugged. "No one's tried to take over my corporation. Today."

Yami couldn't tell if Kaiba was joking. Before the silence grew again, Yami said, "Well since you have some time, if you could do anything right now, what would it be?"

"Get the hell out of here and get some air. If I could do anything, I'd go for a ride," Kaiba answered, a sudden grin briefly lighting up his face, before disappearing again. "Sometimes… just moving is important…"

"Do it," Yami urged.

Kaiba stared at Yami for a moment, then turned and headed for the door. He had a motorcycle in the garage downstairs, saved for the times when he needed to get out before everything came crashing down around him, for the moments when he needed to feel the wind pushing back against him, when he needed to feel his bike under him even if the only future he was straining to reach was an open stretch of road.

Kaiba paused at the threshold. "Are you coming?" he asked.

"I'd love to," Yami said and followed Kaiba out of the room. Isono was standing next to Tamashiro's desk when they exited.

"I should have the preliminary security plan for the upcoming tournament later today, Seto-sama," Isono said, bowing.

"Have it ready for when I get back. I'm going out," Kaiba announced as he swept past his employees.

Isono and Tamashiro watched the elevator door close behind their boss and his first friend.

"Going out?" Isono repeated as though the words were unfamiliar.

"Maybe they're eating lunch," Tamashiro suggested. Sometimes she wondered what had happened to her boss to make something so ordinary as grabbing a bite with a friend so unprecedented. At other times she was certain that she didn't want to know.

"That would certainly be a first. If anyone could do it though, it would be Mr. Mutou," Isono said, staring at the closed elevator door.

Kaiba and Yami headed for the garage. Yami was surprised when Kaiba walked past his car to a motorcycle in the corner.

"Just climb on behind me, hang on tight, and move whenever I do," Kaiba said as he got on the motorcycle.

Kaiba threaded his way through Domino traffic, then opened the throttle when he reached a road by the shore.

Kaiba's instructions had been simple… but as Yami wrapped himself around Kaiba he realized how much he'd left out. Yami was aware of every wiry muscle in Kaiba's frame, could feel the strength and tension in Kaiba's back, just as he felt it every time they kissed. Yami couldn't blame the adrenaline racing through his veins on the reckless speed of their passage. The true rush was clutching Kaiba as they moved perfectly in unison with each turn of the road, with each lean of the motorcycle. Yami couldn't tell where one ended and the other began… except for the heat building in his groin, flaming through his body as he cradled Kaiba's legs with his, the inside of his thighs rubbing against the outside of Kaiba's.

Kaiba stopped by a lookout point. It was deserted. Kaiba sat, staring at the ocean. He didn't speak; only his harsh breaths broke the silence surrounding them.

Yami left his arms around Kaiba's waist, resting them on Kaiba's hips. He was grateful for the reprieve, for the chance to pull his scattered thoughts together. Kaiba seemed to designed to prove to Yami that he had a body, that he was no longer a ghost who needed nothing beyond Yugi's safety... that he was a man learning to desire. And learning, at times, to understand. Kaiba had ridden with more than his usual reckless speed. He'd chosen a vehicle that made conversation impossible.

Yami's grip tightened. "So, what did you come all this way to say?" he asked softly.

Kaiba frowned, even as his back relaxed into Yami's embrace. There it was again… Yami putting his finger right on the sore spot Kaiba was trying to avoid… Yami knowing him better than anyone else except for Mokuba.

"I got your package. I checked out those games you and Yugi tested for me."

"And…" Yami asked, refusing to admit further to his curiosity.

"I read the comments. Your suggestions were good ones. I passed them on to R&amp;D."

"And…" Yami asked again.

Kaiba shrugged. He was glad he wasn't looking at Yami even though he could feel him against his back. "I can beat you. Not consistently, but it happened. Sometimes it depends on how you look at it – I'd take less time, but you'd need fewer moves, or the reverse. Or one of us would finish first but the other would rack up more points. The only thing that was consistent was that you and Yugi played better as a team than you did separately."

"Of course," Yami said.

"There's no of course about it at all," Kaiba said irritably.

"It's the power of unity."

"That's not an answer."

"Yes, it is. It's just an answer you'd rather pretend didn't exist. Why is it still so hard to accept, Kaiba? You said that _I _defeated a god… but the truth is we all did it together."

Kaiba drew in a breath and pressed his lips together. When he opened them, the words came out in a rush. "That's not it. I can accept that this whole unity thing works for you and Yugi… but what about us? We've never been a team, we can barely work together long enough to make it through a duel, even when our lives are on the line. But you've pushed me harder and farther than anyone I've ever met… you pushed me into being the kind of person who rated a future."

"You did the same for me," Yami reminded him. He slid off the motorcycle and came around to the front of the bike where he could look into Kaiba's eyes. Kaiba automatically moved back on the seat to make room. Yami sat down facing him. "There's more than one kind of unity, Kaiba. The rivalry we share is just another facet of the same jewel. It may be harder to recognize, but that doesn't make it any less powerful."

"What does that even mean? What place is there for a rival until the next duel is ready to be fought?"

"The place where rivals and friends are one. This is all new to me as well, but that place exists, Kaiba. I'm more convinced than ever."

Kaiba drew in a breath as though he'd been running or fighting. Once again, despite everything, Yami had made it okay to talk. He'd rewarded Kaiba's tentative honesty. Kaiba leaned into the seductive feeling of closeness Yami's answer had created, knowing – and waiting – for Yami's lips to follow his words.

Yami leaned forward and kissed Kaiba. He wrapped his arms and legs around the taller duelist, Kaiba pulled him closer, his hands flat against Yami's back, erasing the difference between them. Yami twined one hand in Kaiba's hair; his other caressed Kaiba's face, then moved to stroke his slender neck. There it was again: this feeling that however tightly they were pressed together, it was never enough. Yami felt as if he was drowning in Kaiba's scent, in the feel of his wiry body, in the way Kaiba's long legs were keeping them upright on the motorcycle as if they'd found a new kind of balance in this new world where every other kind had vanished.

Yami had always been able to draw Kaiba's attention, to make him forget everything but the man in front of him, the man now in his arms. It was dangerous. It was reckless. It was everything that heated Kaiba's blood, that made him crave more, even as he was thrusting his tongue deeper into Yami's mouth, even as he could feel every muscle in Yami's lithe body against his own, even as Kaiba ached to touch him more deeply.

But predictably, although they were both equally adrift, it was Kaiba who came to earth first.

"We'd better get back. We're barely off the road and I have a meeting," Kaiba said.

The abrupt halt, the curtness of Kaiba's voice, the prospect of a long, awkward motorcycle ride back, pressed against Kaiba's back, aware of his every movement, every twitch of his muscles, combined to tear at Yami's temper. "Of course you do. Why do you keep picking places – abandoned warehouses, your office with people calling or Mokuba running in and out – where we're bound to be interrupted?"

"I also picked a secluded beach that I happen to own. You can't get more private than that."

"Where you wore a wetsuit that was glued to you like a second skin."

"I seem to recall that you were glued to me pretty tightly as well," Kaiba said with a smirk.

Neither admitted to a slight feeling of relief at the argument. They were on familiar ground, again.

"I thought this was what you wanted. If you're having second thoughts, just say so," Yami said seriously, forgetting his own doubts in his rush to discover Kaiba's.

Yami's voice had softened, but all Kaiba heard was the challenge that still lingered in its tones.  
All Kaiba heard was that Yami had told him yesterday how much he was wanted – even if only as a purveyor of new experiences – and that now Yami was looking for an escape just as eagerly. "Don't pretend this is about me. Feel free to back out any time you want."

On the walk over to Kaiba Corporation, Yami had half hoped for an opportunity to slow down, to stop and think, to talk. But admitting any of that to Kaiba was impossible. "You should know me better. If anyone backs down, it won't be me. That is if you can find us a little privacy."

"It's not like I planned any of this. You pick the location if you think you can do better!"

Yami's eyebrows rose in mock shock. "You're leaving the initiative to me? What an unexpectedly timid move."

Yami wagged his finger in Kaiba's face. Kaiba resisted the urge to snap his teeth at it. Whatever private doubts Kaiba had – and they were growing higher the deeper in he sank – he wasn't going to let Yami's taunt pass unchallenged. "Fine," he snapped. "Mokuba's going over a classmate's house to work on a project tomorrow. Come by after work. The floor should be empty. We can take this up then… if you're man enough."

"Fine!" Yami huffed in reply as he untangled his legs from around Kaiba's hips, got off the motorcycle and resumed his place behind Kaiba for the ride back. As soon as his arms were around Kaiba's waist, Yami's voice gentled once more. "How did we end up in a fight over finding a place to be together?"

"The same way we end up in a fight about everything?" Kaiba suggested. "I like fighting with you. It reminds me everything hasn't changed."

Yami chuckled. His arms tightened around Kaiba's torso. He kissed Kaiba's back before turning his head to lean his cheek against it. "There's more than anger to life, Kaiba. You know that."

Kaiba saw himself staring at the orphanage doors, Mokuba in hand. "Anger was my savior. It pushed me to be the best. It gave me the power to survive Gozaburo."

"And when it runs unchecked through your life it becomes everything you've struggled to escape. You can't make your home there," Yami said. His voice was so soft Kaiba had to tilt his head to hear it.

Kaiba's hands dropped from the handlebars to cover Yami's. "It's never ruling my life again. But I'm not banishing it either. I refuse. It's part of me and it's my responsibility to tame it. What about you? Are you going to keep pretending you left your anger in the Egyptian sands when we both know that it followed you home?" Kaiba felt Yami's hands tremble under his. He tightened his grasp on them.

"The first thing I learned from Yugi was how wrong I was. I gloried in my rage, Kaiba. Worse, I mistook it for righteousness. I leveled terrible punishments and smiled. I can't be that person ever again."

"And your solution is to lock a part of yourself in a puzzle again? I've had to learn that anger can't be my master – but you can't make it your prisoner either. Believe me, Yami, if you try, it'll break out when you least expect it."

"So what's the answer?"

"How the hell should I know?" Kaiba said.

"Don't back down now, Kaiba," Yami chided.

Kaiba sighed. "Learning to live with it, I guess. I'm not pretending it's easy."

"How can you say things that make me want to kiss you after announcing it's time to leave?"

Kaiba started the engine with a roar, not quite drowning out his laughter. The drive back was too noisy and fast for conversation.

Kaiba pulled up in front of the shop. Yami slid off. Kaiba made no move to leave. Yami stood for a moment staring at Kaiba's downcast face, wishing he could see Kaiba's eyes, but they were shielded by his hair.

"I'm looking forward to tomorrow," Yami said quietly. Kaiba glanced up and nodded; a slight smile played across his mouth. They both looked over to the store. Sugoroku was waving from the window. Kaiba was glad he didn't come out to talk. Yami must have agreed because he waved back and went straight upstairs.

Kaiba started his engine and raced back to his office, driven by more than his love of speed. He needed solitude and quiet and a door that could be locked behind him. When Kaiba was with Yami it was fatally easy to forget everything but him. But as soon as Kaiba had left the game shop in his rear view mirror, the world came crashing back, washing away that dangerously confiding mood that seeing Yami seemed to arouse.

Kaiba watched it leave with relief. Whatever happened tomorrow, he would face it as himself, as Seto Kaiba, not as this strange new person he barely recognized, this alien who'd enjoyed having Yami's arms wrapped around his torso, who'd drawn strength from his embrace. Tomorrow would be mutual exploration and physical sensations and nothing else. If having Yami meant losing himself, the price was too high.

By the time Kaiba had reached his office building, he was satisfied that everything was back to normal – and that anything that happened would remain within his control.

Isono had just brought the preliminary security plans for the tournament over to Tamashiro's desk when Kaiba returned.

"The documents for your 3:00 PM conference call are on your desk," Tamashiro said as Kaiba approached.

She smiled at him. Kaiba scowled in response. Her smile was soft and friendly when he'd never given her any reason to believe that he was either. Isono looked like he wanted to smile too, and that was even worse, because Isono had been with him long enough to know better.

"Did you have a pleasant outing, sir?" Isono asked.

"If you have something to say, spit it out. Have you ever known me to shirk my responsibilities?" Kaiba snarled.

"Of course not, sir. It's just that it's a nice day and I hoped you and Mr. Mutou had a good time."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kaiba grabbed the security plans Isono had forgotten he was holding and snapped, "Never mind. Some of us have a tournament to prepare for." He marched into his office and slammed the door.

Isono and Tamashiro stared at each other. The intercom buzzer sounded a moment later. Tamashiro picked up the phone. "And I don't want to be disturbed!" Kaiba yelled. He hung up the phone with a crash that made his secretary wince.

"If he was my kid…" Tamashiro muttered as she placed her receiver back in the console much more gently.

"He's not." Isono's voice was soft. The look that accompanied it was sterner.

Tamashiro inclined her head. Isono was right of course. At the end of the day she went home. Kaiba was her employer, not her son or even a nephew – although it was easy to forget that when he sulked or threw a tantrum… or hung out with a friend. She sighed. "I'm not going to apologize for thinking it wouldn't be a bad thing if someone taught either of those boys some manners."

She was surprised when Isono smiled. "Only one person, besides Mokuba-sama, has ever succeeded in teaching Seto-sama anything. And Seto-sama just spent the last hour with him."

"You mean in all the years you've worked here, you've never tried to get him to say 'please' or 'thank you?'"

Isono's smile turned sad. "I've tried to teach him one thing only. That I will serve him loyally. I wasn't much older than Seto-sama when I began working for Kaiba Corporation. One of my first jobs was delivering the boys to the mansion. Seto-sama talked all the way there about the amusement parks he would build, and how he would help other children like him forget the pain in their lives, how games would make them feel important and wanted." Isono spoke quietly, even though Kaiba's door was closed and the office soundproofed.

"You've been with them a long time," Tamashiro said, just as softly, afraid to intrude on the past Isono rarely alluded to.

Isono continued, as if she hadn't spoken. "Then I watched them walk in the house. The door shut behind them. It sounded so final. I have escorted many people for Kaiba Corporation. This was the only time I never wanted the ride to end."

There it was again, the sense that no matter how long she worked here, there were things she would never know, would never understand. She glanced at Isono. It might be a side effect of rushing towards the south side of middle age, but at the moment, Isono looked almost as young as his charges. "I think our boss picked the right man to be his chief of security."

Isono bowed. "Mokuba also chose well," he said as he turned to leave.

Tamashiro called after him, "Make sure to put on your sunglasses back on. It wouldn't do for anyone to discover that the Kaiba Corporation Chief of Security has kind eyes."

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and for reminding me that motorcycle rides should be sexy.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** In an odd way this is about identity for both Yami and Kaiba. Yami is struggling to determine who he is as a person – and struggling with the feeling he's being pushed into a separate identity before he's ready to accept one. In many ways, Kaiba is dealing with the opposite problem. His identity is based on standing alone, on never letting anyone to close. So the more he wants Yami, the more Kaiba feels like he doesn't recognize himself anymore.

**Sugoroku Note:** I think Sugoroku does respect the growth Kaiba has shown and is sympathetic to his ongoing struggles. But at the same time, given how volatile Kaiba is – and what a poor handle Kaiba has on his own emotions – I can see Sugoroku (like Yugi and Anzu in an earlier chapter) worrying that Kaiba won't be able to effectively help Yami find his own way to living. I think Sugoroku's observation, "But that young man's life is a speeding car on an icy road. I don't want you to be a passenger when the inevitable crash comes," sums up both Kaiba's life and his fears for Yami.

**Timeline Note: ** I went back and changed the day Kaiba and Yami went to the beach to a Tuesday. Chapter 11 took place the next day (Wednesday) and this chapter on Thursday.

_**Reply to DestinyBDamned:**_ I can easily see Kaiba jumping from one wrong conclusion to the next because the answer that Yami has come back because he likes Kaiba is probably the last one Kaiba would think of. Except for Mokuba, Kaiba doesn't have any experience with being cared for or cared about and I think that would make it hard for him to recognize genuine affection..

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal. The link is on my biopage.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you and your comments help me figure out what's missing, what's working and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review. **_


	13. 10 Things I Hate About You

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 13: 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU**

TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU: Romantic comedy, circa 1999. Hollywood discovered long ago that when it comes to screwball comedies, nothing beats creating your very own Shakespearean fanfic. As the heroine learns in this much fluffier, high school version of "The Taming of the Shrew," it's one thing to know all the reasons why you shouldn't be together, another to remember them when you're looking into his eyes.

_MORAL: Desire can sneak up on the best of us._

* * *

Ms. Tamashiro stuck her head in the door and uttered a soft, "Good-night." Kaiba grunted in reply, glad the floor was finally empty. He waited until he was sure she'd gotten in the elevator, then opened the door to his office. Isono was still somewhere in the building, but he wouldn't come upstairs unless called. Isono would know, of course, that Yami had arrived (assuming he showed up at all) but Isono also wouldn't mention it. Kaiba was safe.

Kaiba was confident he could handle things once their clothes were off. He wasn't a virgin, his earlier training had seen to that. But he was unsure how you moved from "Hello" to naked. He assumed that some conversation would be required and that was always harder to figure out than mere physical mechanics. Kaiba sighed to himself as he started typing on his keyboard. Since he had time, some research seemed to be in order.

A half hour later, Kaiba looked up from his computer and glanced at the door for the tenth time. He scowled. Watching porn industry employees find new ways to invade each other's personal space had been the opposite of arousing. It was more than just the bad production values and the lack of special effects. The whole experience had made Kaiba feel even more divorced from Yami and the plans they'd made yesterday, plans Yami still hadn't shown up to fulfill. Worse, he'd learned nothing to help with his most pressing problem. There had been an average of two lines of dialog between the characters meeting and their clothes flying off. One film, set on what seemed to be a World War II aircraft carrier, had reduced the pre-sex dialog to the single word, "Incoming!"

Kaiba rolled his eyes as he checked out his latest find. A conventionally – if boringly – attractive man in some kind of coverall had showed up at a poorly lit office.

"I'm here to fix your… copier," he said with a smirk to the young businessman who'd appeared in the scene after a jarringly amateurish cut.

"I've got a much… _bigger and harder_… problem for you to take care of," the businessman responded, starting to un-loosen his tie as he walked forwards.

"I never quit until the customer is completely satisfied." The repairman's coverall must have been held together with velcro because it opened with one rip.

Kaiba closed the computer window. Great. They managed to get in three lines, and none of them were helpful.

Kaiba heard the elevator door open. He shut down his computer. "Ready or not – it's showtime," he thought.

Yami reached Kaiba Corporation at dusk; the light was perfectly suspended between day and night. Yami couldn't help but remember the last time he'd faced Kaiba and refused to back down. It had been at Duelists Kingdom. They'd been on top of Pegasus' tower. Yami had almost killed Kaiba, but Yugi had stopped him, had forced him to do the one thing he'd sworn he'd never do: walk away from a challenge. But Yugi wasn't here now and Yami wasn't walking away. He was tired of wondering if it was an omen or not.

Yami had never been to Kaiba Corporation after the work day had ended. The floor was quiet, the lights dimmed. The offices were empty, their darkened rooms, silent sentinels. Even Ms. Tamashiro had gone home. Kaiba's office door was open in silent invitation; the light spilled into the hallway. Yami entered and closed it behind him.

Kaiba looked up from his computer. Yami couldn't tell if he'd been waiting for him or simply working late.

"Well, I'm here," Yami said.

"_That's one sentence down,"_ Kaiba thought. He grunted in reply, refusing to waste a second one.

"And I'm not backing down," Yami added.

"That's two. And it was a killer line. Better than anything I've heard tonight," Kaiba muttered.

"What?" Yami asked, startled.

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. He stopped just as abruptly. "It's not important." Kaiba finally moved from behind his desk.

Luckily, Yami was used to Kaiba talking – and at times, laughing – to himself. And Yami was distracted by the sight of Kaiba, by his barely leashed intensity, by the sense that he would fly apart from the sheer effort of holding himself together. This was the Kaiba who seemed to glow with the life force he held so loosely it was in danger of slipping through his fingers at any moment, the Kaiba who strode through life wearing his recklessness as a second skin, an untamable wildness escaping through his pores to infuse the air with its irresistible scent. This was the Kaiba that Sugoroku had warned him about. This was the Kaiba he'd come to see. This was the Kaiba that made him feel the joy of being alive.

Kaiba pulled Yami into his arms and lowered his head so that his lips could meet Yami's. He'd thought he was used to kissing Yami but everything… the silent floor, the knowledge this kiss was a prelude... made even familiar actions strange. Kaiba lifted his head, pleased to see that unfocused look glaze Yami's eyes. Yami sighed. Kaiba kissed him again. He put his hands on Yami's shoulders. Yugi's school jacket, the one that had mysteriously duplicated itself on Yami's body in Egypt, was slung around his shoulders. Kaiba pushed it off. He lifted his head again. Yami raised one hand to caress his cheek. Kaiba turned his head, leaning slightly into Yami's touch.

"This is all so new..." Yami murmured. "Everything is new… breathing… living… but this most of all. Have you ever done this before?"

"Yes," Kaiba answered, the word clipped and hard in the silence.

Yami nodded. It was what he had expected.

Kaiba had decided earlier that he didn't owe Yami any answers. He'd been relieved to find that the porn movies he'd been flipping through had been accurate in the amount of dialog required. He'd always known that talking was over-rated. He opened his mouth anyway to add, "Once. When I was 15. Well, with a woman." He was pleased he'd managed to keep his voice even.

"Oh," Yami said, deflated as much by Kaiba's indifference as by his previous choice of partners.

Kaiba wanted to shut up and get back to making out. He had never spoken of that night. He'd left it in the past. He'd been honest with Yami from their first kiss onwards. He'd offered Yami nothing beyond a new experience, certainly nothing of himself… a decision that he now knew wasn't going to survive Yami's question. But Yami was always the exception to his rules and Kaiba still had no idea why. "It was part of my education," Kaiba added.

"What?" Yami might not have had many memories or much experience of the modern world – but he didn't need them to know how wrong that sounded.

Kaiba shrugged. Yami had been inside his soul the day he'd come to shatter it. If Yami had retained any illusions about the man he was about to let fuck him after that, that was his problem, not Kaiba's. It was time Yami learned who Seto Kaiba was. "Don't be naïve. I was the heir to a weapons company. Where do you think we hammered out and celebrated business deals? In a library?"

"Are you saying that your father..."

"Adoptive father," Kaiba corrected.

"...took you to a brothel so you could have sex?" Yami finished asking.

"Supervised would probably be more accurate." Kaiba shrugged. "He said that he wanted to make sure I didn't embarrass him by appearing inexperienced. Of course this was Gozaburo. He could have wanted to gauge how I performed under pressure. Or he could have been trying to see if he could make me back down. He couldn't."

"Kaiba…"

"It wasn't a big deal. It was a one evening in my life."

"How could it be anything else? Did you feel anything?"

Kaiba wished he didn't have an eidetic memory because he could still see the room. Gozaburo had positioned himself where he could see Kaiba's face as the woman went down on him as her opening move. To this day, Kaiba had no idea what, if anything Gozaburo had been looking for.

Kaiba had been trying to hide his desperation, trying to focus on the sensations, on the feel of her mouth, the way her tongue swirled around him... trying to forget that on those rare occasions when he'd felt safe enough and had had the energy to masturbate, his vague fantasies had never centered on a woman at all.

"Yeah, I felt like I wanted to perform well enough not to hear about it from Gozaburo on the way home – or have him decide I needed any more lessons."

"How could you do it?"

"If there was one thing Gozaburo taught me, it's that any relationship has a buyer and a seller. In this case, it was better to be the buyer."

There was no mistaking the way Yami's hands had stilled.

"Changed your mind, huh?" Kaiba sneered.

Yami stared at Kaiba. He had assumed – although he suddenly realized that Kaiba had never stated it directly – that Kaiba was much more experienced. It was only now that it dawned on Yami how monumentally stupid he'd been. Ever since he'd met Kaiba, everything about him had shouted, "Keep your distance!"

Kaiba had hidden it well. He'd related his experience casually, but for so private a person it must have been horrific. Yami thought back to all the encounters that had led up to this moment… and wondered if every kiss he'd thought they'd shared had been just one more piece of bravado.

"Doesn't this doesn't feel any different to you?" Yami asked, knowing he couldn't continue if the answer was "no."

Kaiba had always appreciated cold professionalism – something that could hardly describe any of his encounters with Yami. Even at the time, he'd realized that he'd had a rare stroke of luck that the woman (whose name he'd never learned) had been so skilled at her job. Of course considering her usual clientele of alcohol impaired middle-aged men, a teenaged boy was probably easy meat. Equally luckily, her paycheck had depended on his performance. He'd felt a rare impulse of fellowship with her, something he'd been weak enough to need then, however much he'd despised himself for that momentary vulnerability the next day. And although neither had shown it, they'd both been relieved when he'd managed to finish the job.

He realized with a start that Yami was staring at him, still waiting for an answer. Kaiba smirked. "Besides the obvious variation in body parts?"

Yami suddenly felt sick. Gozaburo had violated some part of Kaiba's soul. As badly as he wanted to make love to Kaiba, Yami couldn't be a party to finishing the job.

Kaiba recognized the slightly nauseous look on Yami's face and was just as quick to misread it.

Then Yami said the one thing Kaiba had never expected him to. "Damn it, Kaiba! I'm serious. Is this the same? For once, I'm not playing. Before we go another step forward I have to know if this is something you want or if you're just refusing to back down one more time. In that case, I concede. You win."

The night had begun to turn sour; once again Gozaburo had reached up from the grave to poison Kaiba's life. Now miraculously everything had righted itself. The shock and disgust on Yami's face had been on his behalf. Yami had hesitated because to him, Kaiba's feelings mattered. It was new, having someone get angry for him – instead of at him. It was unexpected… and as arousing as the feeling of Yami's body still pressed so tightly against his.

"No. It was nothing like this," Kaiba answered, ready to get back to business. But Yami was still staring and he still looked uncertain; his eyes were no longer clouded, the slight flush was fading from his skin. Kaiba frowned. For a moment he'd trusted in Yami, he'd believed that Yami wanted him, but now the inevitable sense of betrayal sank in. It was more rare an experience these days, Kaiba had largely grown past the need to have any hopes at all. "You don't have to pretend you're still interested."

Kaiba had tossed the words off as curtly as always, but something – or everything – in his stance... in the way he leaned slightly back, the way his arms came up to cross in front of his chest, setting a barrier between them, the way his hair shielded his eyes... whispered of vulnerability.

Yami had never seen Kaiba look so bared. It was beautiful.

Yami opened his mouth; he had no idea what to say. This had started as another, deeper move in an increasingly exciting game. But now he wanted something different… wanted to offer something beyond rivalry. So he couldn't just go back to kissing Kaiba as if nothing had changed, although when he looked at Kaiba, with that hint of vulnerability clinging to him, glistening on his skin, Yami wanted to kiss him more than he ever had before.

"Oh, I want you," Yami told Kaiba. "If you question everything else, never doubt that."

Yami reached up to pull Kaiba's head back down to his. Kaiba lifted him up in response. Yami wrapped his legs around Kaiba's hips so their faces were level. He had one arm wrapped around Kaiba. The other started to unbutton Kaiba's shirt. Kaiba's arms were occupied holding Yami to him as Yami continued to undress them both. They were pressed together, chest to chest, skin to skin. Kaiba staggered towards his desk, grateful he'd cleared it of papers before Yami arrived.

He stopped abruptly just before he tumbled Yami onto its polished surface. What was he planning on doing… ploughing Yami into his desk? The idea had its appeal, but it had been Gozaburo's desk. Kaiba didn't want this moment associated with his adoptive father; he wasn't going to let the old bastard tarnish whatever Kaiba and Yami had found. Kaiba didn't want to think back on this night and wonder which he'd been trying to do – fuck Yami or flip off his adoptive father. He put Yami back down on his feet.

"Stay here," he ordered Yami. "There's something I've been meaning to do for a while. I've just been waiting for a special occasion."

Yami watched in bemusement as Kaiba moved the computer and monitor away from his desk, deactivated his sprinkler system, then went to his cabinet and pulled out a bottle, a fire extinguisher and an acetylene torch. Yami's mouth was open by the time Kaiba carefully rolled back the rug to reveal the marble floor underneath, poured the liquid on the smooth and empty surface of the desk and lit it on fire.

"Old wood burns fast," Kaiba said as he waited for the desktop to be fully consumed.

"Why aren't the legs burning?"

"I applied a flame retardant to them earlier," Kaiba said as he finally wielded the fire extinguisher. "It was Gozaburo's desk. I thought it was time for a fresh start."

Wisps of smoke swirled around them, heading for the ventilator in the ceiling. The air carried an acrid tang.

Yami leaned in for a long, open-mouthed kiss. "You have no idea how excited I am right now."

But this time Kaiba was the one backing off. The evening had spiraled so far outside of his grasp that he no longer knew how to respond. He'd ended up saying things he'd never meant to say, revealing details he'd kept buried for years. He'd just burned down his fucking desk. And Yami's comeback to each increasingly out-of-control display had been to reassure him, to want him even more. Kaiba glanced around. His office still had a couch, but it was Mokuba's couch. He lay on it every day after school. He slept on it while waiting for Kaiba to finish work on particularly long nights. Why had he thought having Yami come here was a good idea in the first place?

"Let's get out of here," Kaiba muttered, grabbing his shirt and jacket off the floor.

"Anywhere you want." Yami laughed. "Everyone keeps reminding me that I have time now."

"I guess I better tell maintenance to clean up this mess," Kaiba said as they left the room.

They reached the lobby in silence. Kaiba's careful plans had crashed and burned with Gozaburo's desk. Talking to Yami had felt disturbingly intimate, as if they really had ended up screwing instead. But intimacy had never been part of Kaiba's game plan, just the opposite, in fact. And Kaiba didn't know what to do now that he had it. All Kaiba could think was that he wanted to go home. He wanted Yami with him. He couldn't form the words to ask.

Yami stared at Kaiba. He'd wanted a chance to slow down, to talk. He'd gotten both. But what had started as a simple game had changed, with one revelation, into something different, something that was no longer simple or a game, although it needed to be played as carefully as one. And Yami had no clue what to do next, what he wanted now that it was no longer as straightforward as wanting Kaiba's body on his. How had Kaiba managed to complicate everything, while simultaneously backing off from each confession as quickly as he made them?

They stood in the Kaiba Corporation lobby for a moment, caught by their own indecision. Kaiba's phone rang, startling them both. He answered it too quickly for Yami to recognize the tune or the girl singing it: it had the kind of chirpy vocals and sappy lyrics that Anzu rolled her eyes at. The ringtone was totally unlike anything you would expect to hear coming out of Seto Kaiba's phone.

Kaiba listed in silence for a minute, then said, "Thanks for the update," and hung up. He turned to Yami. "Mokuba's at a friend's house. They're working at a project."

Yami couldn't resist saying, "Cute ringtone."

Kaiba shrugged. "If Mokuba can manage to sneak my phone off and hack into it, he gets to change the ringtone."

But Kaiba was relieved that Mokuba had called. It made it easier to say, "Do you want to come with me to get him? We could go back to my house afterwards." Kaiba tossed the words off casually, as if he invited people over all the time.

"I'd love to. I hope neither of us are ready for the night to end." The interruption had given Yami time as well. He felt closer to Kaiba in a way that was totally different than he'd expected. The night had dropped a card in his hand; he hadn't had time to read its meaning. All that was left was to trust his heart – and to follow it to Kaiba's home. This was no longer simply about desire, although that hadn't lessened. Whatever came next, he wanted to get Kaiba to the place where he felt the safest.

Kaiba grunted. It was as close as he could come to thanking Yami.

Mokuba's eyebrows rose when he saw Yami in the car. He climbed into the back seat as if he did it every day, instead of never. Mokuba looked at his brother in the mirror. He seemed calm and that kept Mokuba quiet, even when his brother said, "Yami's coming home with us."

"No problem," Mokuba answered, pretending his brother inviting someone to the mansion wasn't completely unprecedented. Mokuba grimaced, remembering inviting Yami over just so he could try to poison him. Mokuba had never been too sure of how much his brother remembered from that time right before Death-T. And Mokuba wasn't about to remind him – or Yami – of those days, now that they were gone for good.

"I should let Yugi and Sugoroku know where I am," Yami said suddenly.

"You could text them… well if you knew how. Don't worry, I can teach you!" Mokuba called from the backseat.

"I know how to use a cell phone. It's not exactly a difficult skill to master," Yami said, stifling a sigh at the way both Kaiba brothers assumed the rest of the world couldn't turn on an electronic device without blowing it up.

Yami pulled out his phone and stared at it. His shadowy form was reflected back in its mirrored surface. Seen this way, it was hard to believe he was here, that he was made of flesh and bone.

"Knowing how to send a text isn't the problem, is it?" Kaiba asked quietly.

Yami nodded as he swiped it on. The cell phone itself was the problem. It was the 21st century made solid enough to hold in his hands. And every time he thought he'd adapted, that he'd accepted, Kaiba was there reminding him of how much farther he had to go, challenging him to take the next step onwards. Yami looked down. He'd shown up for their tryst still wearing Yugi's borrowed shirt. Kaiba hadn't commented. Yami didn't make the mistake of assuming that meant he hadn't noticed.

Yami found his contact list quickly. He hadn't entered any himself, but Kaiba must have programmed Yugi's and Sugoroku's numbers in before giving him the phone. Yami sent his message and smiled as he read the replies. He locked the phone and put it away. "Yugi congratulated me on sending my first text. You see, I'm learning to adapt being in this world more quickly than you give me credit for," he said to Kaiba.

"I never doubted you," Kaiba replied with a smirk.

Mokuba rolled his eyes from the backseat. He was used to his brother's cryptic comments. It seemed par for the course that Yami would be equally incomprehensible.

Dinner was waiting when they arrived. The staff went home afterwards. Only the security detail was left and they went to the guardhouse at the estate entrance. Yami and Kaiba spent the evening playing games with Mokuba, once Kaiba had finished checking on the progress of his brother's homework and setting his schedule for finishing before the end of the weekend.

Yami smiled, watching the brothers. Kaiba had no idea how enticing he looked when he flipped through his brother's school planner or corrected his table manners or sat playing games with him afterwards. Kaiba had no idea how seductive he was when he forgot to be Seto Kaiba, when he was only a loving big brother, when he was someone capable of more than anger or bitterness or even determination… when he was only a man glad to be home.

Kaiba had enjoyed the evening. But as relaxing as it was, Kaiba couldn't imagine anything less likely to lead to sex. When Mokuba had gone to bed though, and Yami turned to him from his seat on the couch, all the tension from the afternoon had come back in full measure, impossible to resist. But Kaiba didn't want to settle for his couch, for another makeshift location.

"My bedroom's upstairs," he said.

Yami nodded and followed him out of the room. Kaiba paused next to the door for Mokuba's bedroom. He opened it and went in. Yami watched as Kaiba reached out and stroked Mokuba's hair before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Mokuba was either asleep or had grown adept at pretending. Yami wondered if Kaiba was simply reluctant to break a nightly routine or if he needed the comfort of a familiar touch before giving in to a newer, stranger one.

Kaiba ushered Yami into his bedroom and closed the door behind them. Yami looked around. The room was large and nearly empty. There was a desk in one corner, the computer guarded by a glass sculpture of his ultimate dragon. A wide empty space lay between it and the bed, large enough for a hologram of even the biggest monster. Kaiba nodded and went to his computer. A few keystrokes later images of the Black Magician and the Blue Eyes White Dragon faced off against each other across the expanse.

"Beautiful…" Yami murmured.

"They're opponents," Kaiba answered. "It never occurred to me to program them any other way."

"They don't have to be. Not in everything. If you've taught me anything, it's that our choices matter."

Kaiba had taken off his coat when he'd entered the house. Yami went over to him and started unbuttoning his shirt, each movement slow and deliberate. Kaiba automatically began doing the same. They were close enough to kiss, but they didn't. Soon, both shirts lay entangled on the floor. They stared at each other, each waiting for the next move.

This had become a much more emotional affair than either had expected, a matter of friendship as much as lust. But maybe it was still a game, nevertheless. And Yami knew, with a sudden, startling clarity, that if he ever wanted Kaiba to trust him, he had to let him take the lead now.

"If we're going to play this game to completion, one of us has to be the first to show a sign of good faith," Yami said with a smirk, walking over and deliberately lying across Kaiba's bed. He opened the buckle to his belt, then pulled it free.

"Turn ended," he said.

Kaiba followed suit. His belt, with its heavy KC buckle, joined their shirts on the floor. He opened the fastening on his waistband and came over to the bed.

"Turn ended," he echoed.

A few turns later, they were naked. Kaiba's expression was as unrevealing as ever. But if his face had remained within his control, his body betrayed him. His pale skin was overlaid with a faint blush, his breathing had quickened as though he was running a race. His hand trembled as it landed on Yami's torso. Kaiba traced a collarbone, before reaching to brush Yami's nipple. Yami's eyelids flickered then shut. He moaned at the contact. Insubstantial and fleeting as it was, it sparked an answering groan from Kaiba, a wordless, wild sound.

Kaiba leaned over, half falling forwards, barely able to support his slight frame on one elbow. He kissed Yami, only to realize he couldn't stop. Everything he'd wanted was right here under his hands. He finally wrenched his mouth from Yami's so that he could plaster kisses across the other man's body, so that he could touch Yami for the first time, with no barriers, no distractions, here in the privacy of his room. Here, where he felt safe.

It was an onslaught as well as an embrace. Kaiba had been fascinated by power all his life; he'd craved control. Now he had neither – or both. This moment was beyond his imagining, something outside his carefully planned existence. Now, there was only this mindless, gripping passion, an overpowering emotion that terrified and impelled him forwards all at the same time. Kaiba moved over Yami's body, as if he could devour Yami whole. His hands and mouth were insistent, demanding. And yet Kaiba couldn't deny, even to himself, it was a surrender as well.

He'd been in his position only once before, letting someone close enough to touch him in ways and places where he barely touched himself, touches that could only be defined as intimate.

Intimate.

It was a word that had meaning now, for the first time. It was a word Kaiba shied away from as eagerly as he leaned into Yami's hands as they caressed his body in return, as they drew an answering heat.

And yet, here on the brink, as he held himself above Yami, Kaiba hesitated. Kaiba wanted Yami more than he could ever remember wanting anything in his starved existence, but taking that last step…

Yami reached up to caress his face. "I trust you," he whispered. "I don't want you to stop."

"Good." Kaiba grinned. For once, at what he should have considered his triumph, it wasn't a smirk. It was an acknowledgement of shared need, it was the tip of a hat to a worthy rival, it was a smile of recognition to his match.

Kaiba could no longer deny it. Yami was seduction.

It was another word Kaiba had never had a use for, had never really understood until now. And Kaiba was surprised to find how easy it was to give in to this need, to forget everything but the man lying beneath him, waiting. Kaiba leaned down again, as quickly as a predator seizing his prey and attacked Yami's neck, biting and sucking, smiling with grim satisfaction as Yami's moans grew louder, each gasping sound giving evidence to how completely Yami's restraint had broken.

It was only then that Kaiba moved forwards. Kaiba molded Yami to him fiercely, taking him, breathing him in, learning, adapting to each clutching response Yami gave… clinging to the illusion of control even as Kaiba succumbed to this long unacknowledged need.

Kaiba had promised Yami sensation, the chance to feel something entirely new. This was so much more. Kaiba saw Yami; he had always seen him. He was focused on him now as if Yami was the only person in Kaiba's world. And with each urgent touch, with every press of Kaiba's lips against his flesh, Yami felt his own body as well as Kaiba's, believed in it just as solidly.

And just when Yami thought he'd experienced it all, just when he felt ready to jump out of his own skin, just when every inch of it felt so gloriously alive, just when all that remained was a greedy, grasping thirst for more… for sensation… for the satiety that was the essence of life... Yami was sucker-punched by the one thing he'd never expected, by a rush of tenderness for Kaiba himself.

Kaiba was chaos in human form. He was annoyingly, insistently intrusive. He was indomitable and unrelenting. Yami had noticed the scars, pale marks on paler skin. It was fitting that damage was part of Kaiba's beauty. For flawed and wounded as Kaiba was, he was life. He was everything Yami needed in this moment. He was everything Yami wanted to take in, to have, to hold, to make his own.

Kaiba was demanding Yami's surrender; he was offering his own... each thrust pushing Yami to the opposite end of chaos, pulling Yami instead towards union… to a sharing both different and undeniable, beyond hope or plan or strategy. Each joined movement building on the one before, welding Kaiba and Yami even more tightly together than the mere merging of their bodies, creating a moment of physical awareness suspended in a time when they were floating somewhere outside of any awareness at all, in a world where completion was king and satisfaction its queen. A moment crowned with two shared, gasping, shuddering cries.

And then came the inevitable moment when they fell back to earth, when Yami remembered with a sense of drained wonder that they hadn't left Kaiba's bed. The sense of connection that had carried Yami through their encounter started to fade as his breathing slowed to normal. For a moment Yami felt empty, as if that earlier unity had come into being only to mock him. But before bitterness had the chance to take more than a glancing nibble, before it could bite deep and hard, Kaiba did something beyond expectation, even in this night of firsts.

As Yami turned on his side to face the night alone, Kaiba reached out to gather Yami close, wrapping his longer frame around Yami's body. He flung an arm around Yami's torso; their legs were entwined. Kaiba's head was resting against the top of Yami's, his was breathing deep and steady in the quiet room as he started to drift into sleep. Kaiba's limbs were heavy. Yami should have felt trapped beneath their weight; he felt anchored instead… to this bed… to this world… to the man holding him so completely. For a second time that night, Yami felt that seductive sense of union steal over him, covering him along with Kaiba's lean form. Gratefully, Yami closed his eyes and fell asleep, cocooned by the warmth of Kaiba's body.

* * *

.

_**Thanks, as always, to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** As silly and superstitious as it sounds, I always notice which chapter is #13. This one seems oddly appropriate (lol). I always get nervous of the chapter where Yami and Kaiba have sex for the first time (or writing sex scenes in general, really) because it always strikes me as a difficult balance between being too vague or too explicit, too flowery or too crass, emotional but not cheezy.

In this case I wanted to convey a certain amount of sweetness and honesty, because both of these guys are really inexperienced with all the things they're feeling. With Yami, it's obvious: he's in a body permanently for the first time in millennia. But Kaiba is just as inexperienced with touching someone – or being touched – with desire and affection. And, if you'll excuse the pun, when push comes to shove, I think Kaiba would find out that he's not quite as cold-blooded and uninvolved as he'd like to believe.

_**Note to The DeadBeat:**_ Thank you! I really like the way Kaiba and Yami play off each other and challenge each other in the series and I tried to capture that in this story.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal, also under Nenya85.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you and your comments help me figure out what's missing, what's working and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review. **_


	14. Star Crossed Lovers

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 14: STAR CROSSED LOVERS**

ROMANTIC CLICHÉ #4 – STAR CROSSED LOVERS: Just utter those three little words and – from Romeo and Juliet to Sylvester and Tweety Bird (gulp) – dozens of couples spring to mind. And then there are those other couples, the ones that make you think that Shakespeare had a point when he wrote that, "The fault… is not in our stars, but in ourselves."

_MORAL: Sometimes characters don't need a cosmic realignment. Sometimes all they need to do is get out of their own way._

* * *

Kaiba lay in bed, eyes still shut, sleepily enjoying the feeling of warmth seeping through him, the unaccustomed feeling of security. As he relaxed into the surrounding softness, a long buried memory floated to the surface: this was what it had felt like lying in bed as a child when his parents had still been alive, when the house had been asleep, when he'd been safe.

Kaiba's eyes snapped open. Of course he was uncomfortably warm. Somehow, during the night, he'd gotten entangled with Yami's body; it was like sleeping next to a space heater. Kaiba groaned. There was no "somehow" about it. Now that Kaiba was fully awake, he could remember with crystalline clarity pulling Yami into his arms just before he fell asleep, as if Yami was a teddy bear and Kaiba himself the most overgrown infant ever.

Seto Kaiba did_ not _cuddle. Ever. And yet, here was the proof: Yami was not only still in his arms, but Kaiba had enjoyed having him there so much, he had stayed asleep and nightmare-free for the entire night. He'd woken up feeling rested.

Kaiba groaned again. He began working on detaching himself without waking Yami up. He finally managed to untangle his arms and legs. Yami stirred and grabbed a pillow, apparently satisfied with using an inanimate object as a substitute. Kaiba supposed there as a lesson in there somewhere. He glanced at the clock. At least it was still early, he could get into work without upsetting his usual Saturday morning schedule, regardless of how much else in his life had just been disturbed beyond repair.

Kaiba got out of bed. He was sticky; his skin itched with dried sweat, another reminder of how thoroughly he'd lost himself last night. He glanced back at the bed before heading for the bathroom. Yami was still there. Kaiba frowned, thinking that this was exactly why people had office sex or hotel sex or sex anywhere but in their homes. It was cleaner; it didn't leave you with a body in your bed and no idea what to do next.

Last night he should have just said his two lines of dialogue and been in and out before Yami had known what had hit him. Easy. Clean.

Except he hadn't.

Kaiba prided himself on his control and his superior sense of strategy. Yet, at critical moments in his life, he often failed to think ahead. This had been one of them. There were dozens of places he could have taken Yami after he'd decided to set fire to his desk. By the time they'd left his office, his choices had seemed to shrink to one. Kaiba hadn't considered how he'd feel the morning after… but even if he had, he wouldn't have expected a contented confusion to be at the top of the list.

Kaiba had expected to feel he'd finally beaten Yami; he'd expected to feel like he'd come out on top for once... it had literally been true the night before. He should have known better. Yami was tougher than that or he would never have been Kaiba's rival in the first place.

From the moment Yami had walked into his office, nothing had gone according to plan. Kaiba had thought he'd been ready for Yami. He'd known the score. He was alone because there'd never been anyone else to rely on. It was the first lesson he'd learned, the one that had made him Seto Kaiba. He wasn't going to throw that away for a pair of crimson eyes, no matter how soulfully they gazed into his, no matter how much he'd wanted to fall into them and disappear.

Kaiba got in the shower and started shampooing his hair, determined to get something in his life back under his control, even if it was only his morning routine. But the feel of his own hands reminded him of Yami touching his body last night, as gentle as a spring rain's caress, as fierce as a summer torrent. Kaiba had had his rival all to himself, in a way he'd never imagined in all those months he'd chased after Yugi's shadow begging for a duel. This was the Yami that Kaiba had wanted ever since that day in the Egyptian sands, a Yami that was ready to meet his future, a Yami that was ready to match Kaiba step for step, taunt for taunt, touch by touch. And Yami had responded, had needed Kaiba as badly, had seen Kaiba as clearly, had focused on Kaiba alone.

Kaiba felt… happy. It was a word he hadn't applied to himself in so long that it felt strange whispering it, even in the privacy of his shower, with a door locked between him and the rest of the world. He loved Mokuba, was proud of him, shared in his reflected joy. Kaiba often felt satisfaction in his (or Kaiba Corporation's) accomplishments. This was different, an emotion outside of his blood tie and his promises, an emotion that had no reason to exist, but that was there nonetheless. Here in his watery confessional, Kaiba could even admit he'd liked holding Yami in his arms afterwards, breathing in his scent, his skin warmed by the heat of Yami's body. That had been a matter of affection, not sex. And except for Mokuba, affection – although more easily recognized – had had as little place in his life as happiness.

Kaiba got out of the shower, dried himself off, and returned to his bedroom. Yami was still there. Kaiba turned to his closet, pulled out clothes and got dressed, avoiding glancing backwards towards the bed. By the time he'd put on his shirt and pants, he'd managed to accept, at least to himself, that despite all logic, the night didn't feel like a monumental mistake. Kaiba knotted his tie and glanced at his rival, fondly this time, only to realize he was being watched by a pair of crimson eyes. They narrowed to a glare.

Yami had been asleep when Kaiba had left the bed. It had taken a while for the sounds of the shower running and of someone getting dressed to get through to Yami. The noises were familiar, but they didn't sound like the ones Yugi usually made. The difference was jarring enough to get Yami to open his eyes. His first blurred thought was that the bed was larger and the sheets softer than he'd remembered. Then he realized that he was sprawled across Kaiba's bed, hugging one of his pillows. He pushed the pillow away, dug an elbow into the bed and propped his head up, not quite ready to admit he was awake. His eyes focused as he stared at Kaiba, already in a gray dress shirt and navy slacks. Kaiba's hair was damp. As Yami watched, Kaiba finished knotting his tie and turned to look at the bed.

"Interesting pajamas," Yami commented.

"I didn't expect you to wake up before I left," Kaiba replied.

"Obviously. Coward."

Kaiba's lips tightened. He glared back at Yami. "I go to work on Saturday mornings. I told you that at your farce of a welcome home party."

Yami sat up. "You're trying to sneak out of your own bedroom at…" Yami glanced at the clock on the nightstand, "...5:30 in the morning rather than face me."

Kaiba considered reaching for his coat and sweeping out of the room, but that would give weight to Yami's accusation. Kaiba swallowed at the sight of Yami. The sheets had pooled around his lap, revealing his bared chest. "I'm facing you now. You're short, but you're hardly invisible."

Yami threw aside the sheets and got out of bed. He planted his feet shoulder length apart and pointed his finger at Kaiba. "I refuse to allow you to degrade either of us. You are going to stand here and act like a reasonable facsimile of a decent human being. Am I making myself clear?"

Kaiba swallowed again. Yami was naked and angry. He was magnificent. "Crystal clear. I go to work on Saturday mornings. I have to do that so I can spend the rest of the weekend with Mokuba, barring emergencies. I'm not changing, regardless of what happened last night."

Kaiba leaned back, arms crossed at his chest. Anyone who had ever seen him duel would have recognized the posture. In the arena, it was intimidating. Seen here, in his bedroom, he looked unexpectedly young.

"And I'm not asking you to ignore your responsibilities – especially to Mokuba," Yami replied.

Kaiba stared back, eyes now focused on Yami's face.

"But you are not going to pretend that I don't exist, not after trying so hard to make me accept this world and my place in it." Yami swept his hand from left shoulder to right thigh. "Not after convincing me that this body is real."

Kaiba drew in a breath as he studied every perfect inch. Hauling Yami back into the rumpled sheets suddenly seemed like a good idea. Kaiba swallowed and held his ground. "I'm not."

"Good. But every time you pretend that you are the cold-blooded jerk you need to show the world, you diminish yourself. I'm disappointed in you. And I'm not going to let you run from anything. You are going to find a solution and I am going to stand here and watch you do it."

Kaiba stared at Yami, proud of his refusal to back down, to be brushed aside by anyone, even Kaiba himself. Yami was right. Nothing had changed, Kaiba hadn't morphed into someone else, hadn't turned into the weakling of his childhood nightmares. He was still Seto Kaiba. Yami was still his rival. Kaiba was going to respect that bond.

"You have two choices," Kaiba said, managing to make it sound like an ultimatum. "I can leave word with a driver and have the limousine take you home whenever you like. Or... " he paused. "I leave at 11:00 anyway, just to make sure I'm home by noon. You could get back into bed, I could head out of the office at 10:30 and you could have breakfast with me and Mokuba before I drop you back off at the game shop."

Yami moved forwards and grabbed the ends of Kaiba's gold-flecked blue tie. He pulled Kaiba down to his level for a long, open-mouthed kiss. Yami let go of Kaiba's tie, walked to his closet, grabbed a coat and threw it to Kaiba. Kaiba caught it one-handed. The coat was woven silk: navy blue with gold and silver threads. It was the one Kaiba would have picked.

Yami walked back to bed, a slight swagger in his movements. "I accept the second option. I don't need to be back until 1:00 PM." He climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up.

Kaiba nodded. He started to leave, then abruptly reversed direction, leaned down, kissed the top of Yami's head and strode out the door without looking back. It slammed shut behind him. Yami smiled without bothering to open his eyes and snuggled deeper under the covers. Last night hadn't been a game. But this morning felt like winning.

Mokuba came downstairs. schoolbooks in hand, a couple of hours later. He stopped short as he entered the living room. Yami was on the couch, video controller in hand. Mokuba looked at the silent images on the monitor.

Yami paused his game. "I kept the sound off. I didn't want to wake you."

"Oh…" Mokuba said, "You're still here? I mean… you stayed over?"

Yami nodded. "I hope you don't mind," he said, unsure of what – if anything – Kaiba had said to his brother.

Mokuba shrugged. "It's not like we don't have the room." Mokuba grimaced. He had a million questions, and here he was, stunned into acting like finding Yami in his house was normal. He dropped his books on the couch next to Yami, trying to think of something to say. "You hungry or something?" Mokuba stopped short. The last time he'd offered Yami food in this house, he'd poisoned it. "Uh… it's on the level, but I get it if you don't want to… I mean..."

Yami put down the controller. For a fleeting moment Yami wished he was back in the Puzzle so Yugi could deal with the situation, but this was his responsibility. "It's okay. I've always understood you were trying to help your brother. I've never held a grudge."

"I know. It's just… my brother's never invited anyone over. But you like him, don't you?"

"Very much."

"Nisama doesn't like many people." Mokuba flushed. "Okay, I guess that was the understatement of the year."

"You don't have to worry about him – or about me."

"I'm not worried. Not exactly. I just want him to be happy. It's the one thing he's never been good at. I'm glad you're friends, now."

Another awkward silence settled on the room. Mokuba glanced at Yami. His shirt was rumpled. It looked like he'd slept in it, which made as much sense as anything else had this morning. "You want to borrow a clean shirt?"

Yami looked down and pulled at his shirt as if that would make it look less wrinkled. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Yami followed Mokuba back to his bedroom. From the posters advertising every Kaiba Corporation release to the clutter of yesterday's clothes on the floor, to the pile of video games, western comics and manga on the desk, chairs and bed, a greater contrast to Kaiba's room would have been hard to imagine. Mokuba kicked his clothes aside. "No one's been in to clean up yet." He gestured towards the dresser. "Help yourself."

Yami pulled the top drawer open. It was filled with shirts. It was bewildering.

"Go ahead. Take anything you like."

"What do I like?" Yami murmured to himself. There were the expected striped shirts. He couldn't imagine wearing them. They looked too young. He dug deeper into the drawer. There were white T-Shirts, identical to Yugi's, and a black one like the shirt he'd worn on the journey back from Egypt. He hesitated, then pushed them aside too. It was strange, deciding which one he liked. There was a royal blue one, but it matched his pants and jacket too closely and a purple one that clashed too badly. He pulled out a stonewashed T-shirt and stroked it gently. The dye had left a pattern of blues and grays that faded to white. It reminded him of sunlight skimming over the Nile in the glimpses he'd caught in the Memory World, of rain streaking down his windows at home. "This one. I like this one. Thank you."

Mokuba shrugged again. "Keep it if you want. It's no big deal."

Yami nodded. He didn't know how to explain what a big deal it was.

They returned to the living room. "So about food…" Mokuba asked, his voice light and casual now.

"I told your brother I'd wait and we'd all eat breakfast together. How does that sound?"

"Great!" Mokuba said, smiling.

Yami picked up the video game console. "Do you want to join me?"

Mokuba shook his head. "I have work to do, just like Nisama. That way, if I get my homework done on time, we have the next two days together. Nisama finishes his job on time. I have to live up to my responsibilities too."

Yami nodded. It was hard knowing what to say in the face of Mokuba's devotion, sometimes. Yami went back to his game. Mokuba opened his book. There was something comfortable about it, Yami realized. It felt like sitting in the Mutou house, with Sugoroku reviewing his accounts while Yugi grumbled his way through his assignments.

After a while, Mokuba threw his books down with a smile and grabbed the controller next to Yami. "Done! Now I'm ready to kick your ass."

"In your dreams!" Yami replied, moving over.

The first thing Kaiba heard when he entered the mansion was Mokuba and Yami's laughter. He stopped for a moment, listening to the sound before heading towards it. He wondered what, if anything, Yami had told Mokuba.

"Anyone want breakfast?" he asked as he entered the room.

The food was familiar to Yami from his time in the states during DOMA. Mokuba raced to the table, shoveled an enormous quantity of bacon and eggs onto his plate and focused on getting it in his mouth as quickly as possible. After his first gulps, in the brief intervals between swallowing, he peppered his brother with suggestions for their weekend. In contrast, Kaiba picked at his own, noticeably smaller plate, toying with a piece of bacon or a forkful of eggs. He downed his black coffee and accepted a refill as if it was a newly discovered food group.

After another bout of suggestions and questions, Kaiba set his coffee cup down, pushed his half-eaten plate aside and said, "I have to drive Yami home. As soon as I get back, the weekend is ours. just like always."

Kaiba had picked the blue-gray car again. Yami smiled, remembering Kaiba saying it was his favorite.

They'd barely left the estate when Kaiba glanced at Yami and asked, "Did you say anything to Mokuba?" His voice was deceptively casual.

"Of course not! Do you really think I'd take that decision out of your hands? That I'd show so little respect for you?"

Kaiba's lips thinned. "No," he admitted.

"Then why insult me?"

Kaiba's hands tightened on the wheel. He focused completely on the road for the first time. Yami waited.

"I wanted to hear you say it," he mumbled.

Yami hid a smile. He should be used by now to Kaiba's totally backwards ways of asking for reassurance. "And of course, you had to pick the most contentious way possible. It's unworthy of you."

Kaiba snorted. "Big talk for someone who needed a 12 year old to help him dress."

"I picked this shirt out myself!" Yami shot back, a note of pride in his voice.

Kaiba glanced at Yami. He was glad Yami had chosen a shirt Mokuba never wore. "It's a good thing you're little enough to fit into children's sizes."

"You like being taller than everyone else just a bit too much," Yami complained. "It's not an accomplishment. Even you couldn't will yourself into growing taller."

"Are you so sure I didn't?"

Yami had to admit that Kaiba's smirk was attractive.

After a pause and another glance, Kaiba confessed, "It suits you."

"I've never picked out clothes before."

"Another first?" Kaiba asked. He grinned when Yami ducked his head. "A shirt… a puzzle… a chess game. It all begins with a first step. Just make sure you stay the course."

Yami nodded, reassured by Kaiba's words, by the understanding so roughly expressed. He chuckled as he thought of something, "Mokuba and Sugoroku both said the same thing about my staying over – that you have no shortage of bedrooms."

"Just as well you didn't tell Yugi's grandfather the truth. I'd hate to be responsible for giving the old man a second heart attack."

"That's not funny," Yami said severely.

Kaiba didn't bother replying. So Yami hadn't said anything to the man he considered part of his family. Kaiba wasn't sure how to feel about that. On one hand, he supposed he was relieved. On the other…

They arrived in front of the game shop before Kaiba managed to untangle his thoughts. Yami hesitated before getting out. He put his hand on Kaiba's arm and let it rest there a moment. He drew in a breath then let it out. "Kaiba… I should have said it again this morning… I want you to know… last night was special to me."

Kaiba nodded. "It was," he agreed as Yami got out of the car.

He watched as Yami entered the building and the door shut behind him, then headed home. Kaiba pulled into his driveway, turned off the car and sat for a moment. Yami hadn't mentioned seeing Kaiba again.

Knowledge was power and Kaiba suddenly realized how little he had. He added it up in his head. He knew that Yami had labeled last night as special. But he didn't know if Yami felt that the same was true of Kaiba himself. He knew that Yami had been looking for a new experience. But he didn't know if Yami wanted a repeat now that he'd had it. He knew that Yami had demanded to be treated respectfully. But he didn't know if Yami desired anything more. And Kaiba didn't know why it mattered, or why he cared when it wasn't like he'd wanted to become entangled with Yami in the first place. Most of all, for once, Kaiba didn't know the next move.

Kaiba leaned his head on his hands on the steering wheel for a moment, eyes closed. He'd been wondering what to tell his brother. By now Mokuba would have checked the mansion's security, would have found the deleted footage, would have realized that there had been something to hide. But Mokuba would accept Kaiba's silence. And Kaiba couldn't say anything about Yami, not now, not when he was suddenly unsure that there was anything to say at all.

Yugi pounced the moment Yami came in the room. "So tell… what was it like staying over at Kaiba's? Does Kaiba have his own private arcade? Or movie theatre?"

"I don't know," Yami answered.

"Huh? What did you do then all night, then?" Yugi stared in surprise as Yami blushed deep red. Yugi remembered Yami telling him that he was attracted to Kaiba – and that Kaiba felt the same. Yami hadn't said anything more, and that had been a few days ago...

"Yami? Wait a minute… you guys just slept right? Like in separate beds?"

Yami shook his head, the movement almost to slight to be noticed; his eyes were fixed on the floor. Yugi wouldn't have thought that Yami could turn a deeper red, but he managed. Yugi's jaw dropped.

After a moment of silence, Yami risked a glance at Yugi's face. Yugi's mouth was still open, his eyes impossibly wide, even for him.

"Wow! You mean you actually? For real? What was it like? Forget I asked that!" Yugi squeaked, the sentences tumbling over each other. His face was almost as neon as Yami's.

"It was unexpected," Yami said

"You mean it just kinda happened?"

"No, I mean the experience itself was like nothing I'd expected." Yami shook his head. "I'm not making much sense, am I?"

"So you're like a couple, now… or something? Uh… I guess… congratulations?" Yugi said, his scrunched up face and tone making the last word into a question.

"I hadn't thought about it. I don't know what to feel or what it means… and I'm pretty sure that Kaiba doesn't either. He's such a private person." Yami paused. "Please don't say anything. I just couldn't keep it a secret. Not from you."

"Of course I won't say anything, not if you don't want me to. I mean I get you not wanting to tell grandpa, but…" He paused, thinking of Jounouchi's probable reaction to this bit of news, not to mention Anzu's. "Okay, I get it, period. But that must be rough for you. Are you sure you want to keep it quiet?"

Yami nodded. "Yes. I need to figure out things for myself, first."

"What's to figure out? If you love someone, it's all simple. It's like everything suddenly makes sense. If it was me and Anzu, I'd be waving banners and setting off fireworks. Well, not about… you know… doing it – that wouldn't be right, and she'd kill me, anyway, if she found out. But I'd sure want the whole world to know we were together. And the next morning… even if I tried to keep it secret, everyone could probably tell the moment they looked at the smile on my face."

Yami nodded. It _had_ been simple, waking up in Kaiba's bed. Now he was back home answering Yugi's questions and everything was suddenly as complicated as Kaiba himself. Yami couldn't even find a name to give this jumble of emotions, this longing to see Kaiba again, this need to make sure everything was okay – much less as simple a name as "love."

But Yugi was right. It should be effortless. Yami should feel joy and nothing else. And he shouldn't feel any of the things he actually did instead: confused and off balance and anxious. He shouldn't feel like he was going to burst from this secret bubble of happiness welling up inside … and then be afraid to look at it too closely – much less release it to the world – for fear it would pop, leaving him with nothing.

"I know. You're right," he said to Yugi.

"I'm sorry," Yugi replied.

"Why?"

"Because it was your first time. It should be special."

Yami shook his head, unsure what to say. Kaiba was aggressive and stubborn and contradictory, but so was life and Yami realized that the two would remain entwined in his mind, that embracing one meant accepting the other, and that was part of where his confusion lay. And while Yami couldn't disagree with Yugi, even in his thoughts, he also knew that Kaiba _was _special. There'd been an honesty, an openness to Kaiba last night; it had been dangerously seductive.

Yami had caught glimpses of Kaiba's heart again and again, before he'd hidden it each time behind his anger and bitterness, an alchemy that turned gold into baser metals. But those flashes had remained, taunting Yami in their brevity... at Duelists Kingdom, at Battle City... when Kaiba's arrogance and affectations had vanished, revealing, beneath even his fearsome determination, an adolescent on the edge of adulthood, with all the confused vulnerability natural to that state. This was the Kaiba that Yami had seen, had held, had kissed last night, the Kaiba who had retained an unexpected innocence. There had been a sweetness in the way he'd enfolded Yami in his arms, afterwards. Yami found himself smiling as he remembered.

"Yami… are you okay?" Yugi asked.

Yami looked up, startled to realize that he'd lost track of his surroundings, as if he'd truly been transported back in time. "Last night _was_ special," he insisted.

"I don't understand," Yugi said.

"Neither do I."

Yugi looked at him for a moment, then changed the subject. "So are you still hanging out with us this weekend?"

"Of course."

"But… what about Kaiba?"

"I don't know. We didn't make any plans." When he was with Kaiba, everything felt so natural. He'd just assumed they would see each other. Now Yami remembered that Kaiba had tried to sneak out of his bedroom to avoid facing him this morning, that he'd been silent for most of the day, that the main thing he'd wanted was the reassurance that Mokuba knew nothing about them. "I'll stop by his office on Monday." Maybe if he followed his usual routine everything would go back to normal.

"Yami!"

Yami sighed. He'd clearly given the wrong answer again, but he wasn't sure what the right one was.

Yugi shook his head. "Never mind. I've got no business giving you advice anyway, not when I haven't worked up the nerve to ask Anzu out, much less anything more. I even know she's finally starting to see _me_. I just have to pick the right moment."

"Think about it as a game. It's just a different application of the same strategies you've already mastered," Yami suggested.

"A game?" Yugi said, frowning.

"Of course. That should make it easier," Yami answered, blithely unaware that nothing could be farther from his own turbulent feelings for Kaiba than his calm announcement.

"But… but… it's not a game. Playing with Anzu's feelings… that's just wrong."

"You want to win."

"No, I don't. Not unless she thinks it's a victory too. I just want her to be happy. That's what love is. And acting like people are pawns… this isn't like you, Yami."

"Maybe it is. How would I know?" Yami paused. It was still hard talking about his fears with Yugi. But he agreed with Kaiba: he'd taken the first step towards being honest with Yugi, he was going to stay this course. "I don't remember my past. And when you first put together the Puzzle… I didn't care about anything but winning and punishing the losers in my shadow games. Maybe, when you take all of this away..." Yami waved his hand around the room, "all that will be left is a hateful, angry ghost."

"That's not true, Yami. You have to know that!"

"Can you honestly say you know what I was like?"

"Yes! Even back then, you were trying to protect me and my friends. If that vengeful spirit was who you are, why would you have cared what I think? Why would you have wanted to keep me safe?"

Yami smiled, comforted by Yugi's vehemence. "You're right. But I don't know why I keep getting so angry when all I should feel is grateful."

Yami was always amazed at how serious and determined Yugi's soft face could look, when he felt the occasion warranted it. "But you haven't gotten that mad. At least not around me. And anyway, you can be angry. Even when I'm not. That's okay, too."

"It makes me feel too much like my old self. For the most part I've succeeded in beating my anger back every time it crosses my path. Well, except with Kaiba. But that's different. He knows."

"Knows what?"

"What it's like to cling to anger as if it was a life raft… how hard it is to let it go and set out on your own, trusting there'll be a shore to receive you before your strength gives out."

"But you're not alone, Yami. You have friends. We'll help you reach that shore, whatever it takes."

Yami smiled and nodded.

Yugi grinned back. "I don't know, though… fighting with Kaiba… well, that has all the appeal of lighting a match in a gasoline factory."

"Yes, it does," Yami said with satisfaction. He was confident that Yugi had failed to recognize just how attractive a picture that was.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I could easily see Yami – and especially Kaiba – being a lot more confused and hesitant in the morning. But at the same time I didn't want it to be as simple as one step forward, two steps back, because last night has changed things for both of them, and neither of them wants to take it back or pretend it didn't happen, even while they're hesitant about moving forward, and uncertain what such a move would involve. So I guess it's one step forward, one step sideways.

And I also guess it's Yugi's turn to give really bad advice with the best of intentions. If there's anything more ironic than Yugi stating with absolute certainty how someone should feel the morning after, it's Yami assuming that Yugi knows best and that his own feelings are at fault for not matching Yugi's idealistic babble. But Yami is as awkward outside of a duel or mission as he is confident and commanding in one, and he's used to deferring to Yugi when it comes to emotions. So I can see Yugi's assured proclamations of what love is outweighing Yami's own confused impressions.

And I have to admit I like the image of Yami getting so annoyed by Kaiba that he sweeps out of bed to yell at him, sublimely oblivious to the fact he's naked - and somehow manages to look commanding instead of ridiculous.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal at .com.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you and your comments help me figure out what's missing, what's working and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review. **_


	15. When Harry Met Sally

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 15: WHEN HARRY MET SALLY**

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY: Romantic comedy, circa 1989. Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal spend the whole movie arguing about true love while trying to help each other find it with someone else. Was anyone surprised when they finally discovered that that special someone was sitting across from them the whole time?

_MORAL: Sometimes the easiest thing to overlook is the very thing that's staring you in the face._

* * *

"Hello… Earth calling Yami… come in Yami…"

Yami looked up with a start. Jounouchi was waving a hand in front of his face. Yami sighed. He'd lost the thread of the conversation. Again.

"You were kind of zoning out there, buddy," Honda pointed out.

"Shut up you two!" Anzu snapped, leaning across Yugi to swat at Jounouchi's hand. "You're not helping. I'm sure Yami has a lot on his mind."

Yami smiled in place of an answer. He had only one thing on his mind: Kaiba. It was hard to believe that less than 24 hours had passed since he'd kissed Kaiba in his bedroom, that it was still Saturday, that he'd returned home just that afternoon.

Yami had told Yugi that he wasn't planning on seeing Kaiba until Monday, but he hadn't stopped thinking of him since. It was as if all the Kaibas he'd gotten to know – the twisted teenager he'd met, the relentless rival he'd faced, the brother that Mokuba kept trying to get the rest of the world to see, the man he'd swam with and fought with and kissed – had all merged into one incomprehensible package, a puzzle whose pieces kept shifting in his hands even as the two of them had come together.

And then Kaiba had disappeared back into his mansion, leaving Yami to traverse his own emotions as if they were a labyrinth. Yugi had told Yami that if he truly cared, he'd know how he felt. Yugi had said if it was love, then all of this would be effortless. But Yugi had forgotten that when Kaiba was involved, nothing was ever easy.

Yami glanced around the room, uneasily aware that he'd lost track of the conversation again. The gang was all there; they'd come over Saturday afternoon. Yugi was sitting next to Anzu on the couch. Jounouchi was on the other side. Jounouchi yawned, stretched out his arms and legs and settled back on the couch, legs spread far enough apart to push Yugi closer to Anzu. His head was resting lightly against her arm and shoulder.

Yami caught Yugi's eye and winked. Yugi blushed, looking ridiculously self-conscious. Yami smirked. Yugi might have protested that he wasn't playing games – but his strategy was as on point as always.

He was still grinning at Yugi when the word "Kaiba" caught his attention. Yami realized with a growing sense of horror that while he'd been daydreaming, the rest of the group had decided visiting KaibaLand would be fun. It wasn't as large as the ones in the U.S. or in Europe, but it did have the world's largest indoor roller-coaster and a huge collection of specially designed arcade games, including one Anzu referred to as Dance Dance Revolution in hyperspace. Kaiba – or rather Mokuba – had given them lifetime passes after the Kaiba Corporation Grand Prix. They didn't go that often. Yugi was embarrassed at being thanked for something he'd done as a friend.

"I can call Bakura. I was sorry he didn't come over tonight. Sometimes he has a hard time getting out of his apartment," Yugi said.

"I could swing my his house on my motorcycle tomorrow and take him to KaibaLand. That way he won't have to head out on his own," Honda offered.

"Yeah. Bakura should get out more. Good thinking there, buddy," Jounouchi agreed. "And Kaiba's a world class jerk-off, but one thing he does know how to do is run an amusement park. Not having a life probably helps with that."

Honda laughed and reached out from his chair to fist-pump his friend. "That's me… party planner extraordinaire."

"Yeah, right," Jounouchi shot back. "Your idea of a party is a bag of chips and a soda."

"Kaiba's my friend. And he has a life," Yami said suddenly, his words causing a hush in the room.

"Huh? I'm getting used to him too, but it's not exactly a secret he's about as warm and cuddly as an ice cube in a blizzard," Jounouchi protested. He glanced at Yami, held up his hands in mock surrender and added, "What gives with the death glare? You've never cared what I've said about Moneybags before."

"I know," Yami said, puzzled. Jounouchi was right. Yugi considered Kaiba a friend. Yugi had done so long before Kaiba had deserved the title, but Yugi had never minded or noticed Jounouchi's rants. And when Yami had been part of Yugi, it hadn't bothered him either. Now it did. Was it because they'd shared a bed? Or had it always, somewhere in some dormant part of his being chafed at him, a feeling only now brought to light?

Yami shook his head and returned his attention, yet again, to the rest of the room. He nodded as everyone finalized their plans. He'd realized there was an upside to going to KaibaLand. He was guiltily aware that Yugi would probably consider this more gamesmanship, but Yami was relieved he'd been given a way to sidestep the question of whether or not to call Kaiba. It was only polite to text and let him know they'd all be at his amusement park tomorrow.

Yami wanted to see Kaiba. But he had no experience being on the asking side of a question. He didn't realize it, but his expertise lay in accepting attention with becoming graciousness. He was used to the way Yugi and his friends focused on him, the way they noticed when his concentration wavered. That had been true even in the shadow life he'd lived with Yugi once Yugi had assembled the Puzzle: it wasn't a duel until he arrived. And in the life before, the one that was now lost to him forever, he'd been a pharaoh.

Kaiba had been destined for obscurity. He'd fought it as he'd fought everything else that life had thrown at him. But he'd learned along the way that while chasing power or independence yielded its own success, chasing after people rarely did the same.

Kaiba had always respected life. It was a fierce adversary. Life was unpredictable; the harder you tried to whip it into shape the harder it fought back, as if it had a mind and will of its own. Yami was the same.

Up until last night, Kaiba had achieved an equilibrium of sorts with both. Yami kept insisting they were friends. Kaiba had, with the usual internal reservations, accepted Yami's definition. Why had he upset that fragile balance by sleeping with the man?

Was it merely to scratch an itch – when lust was the one emotion he'd believed to be totally within his control? Kaiba thought back to his first time, back when he'd been 15. It turned out that it was easier to fuck someone without feeling a semblance of desire than it was to resist someone when you were in its grasp.

Had he been trying to beat his rival, to prove in the most elemental way possible that he was the one on top? If so, it had been a doomed endeavor. Or was it even more terrifyingly simple? Had he been trying to have Yami? To keep a part of him even after Yami's inevitable exit? Was he pathetic enough to want something of Yami, even a memory, to remain?

He was certainly weak enough to want to see Yami again. Kaiba could admit that since he was safe in the knowledge he'd never be the one to ask. Like having hopes, asking had never worked out well for him. Gozaburo had been right on that score. Asking was an invitation to humiliation and attack. The best you could expect was disappointment. Yami had proved that. Yami had rushed to the rescue at Duelists Kingdom and in the virtual worlds created by Noa and the Big 5 – totally ignoring the fact that Kaiba hadn't wanted him to butt in.

Kaiba had only asked Yami for one thing: he'd wanted a duel at Battle City. As soon as the unaccustomed words had left his lips, Yami had rushed off.

Yami hadn't backed out on a whim. Kaiba knew that Yami had been desperate to keep his friends safe. But Kaiba wasn't interested in being reasonable or fair… not when Yami had kept putting him off to cater to a mediocre duelist instead. It was no wonder that by the time they'd reached Alcatraz, Kaiba had practically dragged Yami up to the top of the duel tower and forced Yami to face him. Kaiba groaned, remembering what a disaster that had been.

Yami had said that Kaiba had lost Battle City because he needed to defeat his own anger and bitterness first, but Kaiba couldn't help wonder if he'd been beaten because he'd been the supplicant. Kaiba had put himself in a position of weakness. How could he have done anything but lose?

That's what asking got you. Just like he'd made plans (had it only been a week ago?) to spend the day with Yami – who'd jumped out of Kaiba's car as soon as the mutt had called his name.

No matter how much Kaiba wanted to see Yami, Kaiba was never asking him for anything again.

That settled, Kaiba congratulated himself for the twelfth time that day on not thinking about Yami, or at least for banishing his image whenever it came up.

Weekends were Mokuba's. Nothing was allowed to interfere. Saturday had gone well. It had been uneventful. Mokuba was planning on trying out for his school's soccer team. His favorite position was goalie. After Kaiba had dropped Yami off at the game shop, they'd taken a ball out back and Kaiba had angled shots towards the net. Mokuba's speed was improving.

Now they were sprawled together on the couch, watching the latest pre-release from Universal Studios. Mokuba was rooting for bigger explosions. Kaiba was idly recording notes on how the special effects could be improved when Yami's text arrived.

Kaiba frowned. Yami's message was as infuriating as Yami himself.

"_Wanted you to know we'll all be at KaibaLand tomorrow."_

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Stay away? I'll be surrounded by mediocrities and hoping that you'll stop by before I die of boredom?

"KaibaLand, huh?" he muttered, tossing his phone on the table without replying.

"Is there a problem there?" Mokuba asked, looking at his brother.

"No."

"Oh, are you thinking about tomorrow? Hey, that's a good idea!" Mokuba said. "We haven't been there in a while. As long as you promise to go on at least some of the rides without worrying about how to make them better."

"Why?"

"Because I want you to relax, Nisama."

Kaiba frowned. He didn't understand Mokuba sometimes. He spent his life thinking about Kaiba Corporation. What difference did it make if he did his thinking at the office or while riding a roller-coaster?

"_Some _rides. That indicates more than two but less than five," Kaiba replied.

"That leaves three or four. Deal!" Mokuba said.

"Deal," Kaiba repeated.

"And I'll help you make notes. We can check on which rides have people looking the happiest when they exit and which games have the crowds making the most noise."

"Those are good things to notice. But I thought you wanted to relax," Kaiba said, ruffling his brother's hair.

"No. I want _you_ to relax. I want to have fun."

"By taking notes? Kaiba teased.

"No. By helping. That's the most fun ever!" Mokuba said, snuggling closer to his brother.

Kaiba smiled. He would never have thought of looking at people's faces or counting decibel levels. They made a formidable team. And that was better than any amount of "relaxation." Kaiba knew that most people wouldn't agree. But Kaiba had never aimed for mere mediocrity.

Kaiba settled deeper into the couch, his arm around Mokuba's shoulder. He was looking forward to the morning, having established (to his satisfaction at any rate) his superiority over Yami's friends, who'd spend the day gawking at his rides and his holograms without having a clue how they worked, or wondering how they could be improved. That was his job and nobody could do it better. And he had a partner of his own.

Yugi and his friends lived up to Kaiba's expectations on Sunday, running eagerly from ride to ride, and then heading for the arcade. Yami followed, but he couldn't help scanning the crowds, or trying to at any rate. Even riding on the Ferris wheel didn't help. Yami had known how big KaibaLand was. He should have realized that this was the worst place to find someone – particularly someone who might not even have shown up. After all, it wasn't like Kaiba had bothered answering his message.

By midafternoon, Kaiba had come to the same conclusion: it was ridiculous trying to find someone as little as Yami in a crowd, especially with his brother in tow. And if Yami had really wanted to see Kaiba, he would have said so clearly instead of sending a text that could have meant anything.

Kaiba glanced around the arcade one more time. Mokuba had darted off to compare noise levels. The crowd shifted, and suddenly he could see Yami at the end of an aisle. As Kaiba stood there gawking like an autograph-seeker, Yami turned around. He was alone, at least for the moment. Yami headed towards Kaiba, still managing to retain the air of a pharaoh coming to greet a favored councillor. Without quite meaning to, Kaiba took a step forward, then another, closing the remaining distance.

Yami smiled. "You're here. I wasn't sure if you were planning on coming."

"I own the place, remember? It's hardly remarkable that I keep an eye on my investments."

Yami frowned. It was just like Kaiba to ignore the entire question of whether he'd read Yami's text, much less come to KaibaLand in answer to it. "Well, our arrival couldn't have been a surprise."

Kaiba grunted.

It was at that spectacularly inopportune moment that Mokuba crashed into his brother. "You were right! This was a great idea!" Mokuba screamed, hugging his brother. "Did you know Yugi and the gang were going to be here? Was that what that text was about? Come on, we haven't been on the racing cars, yet!"

Mokuba grabbed his brother's arm and dragged him back into the crowd. Kaiba didn't look back. He could picture the smirk on Yami's face without needing to see it.

Jounouchi and Honda ran up to Yami. "Hey, where'd you disappear to? Bakura's busy with some creepy occult role-playing thing and Anzu found one of those dance games. She's beating everyone cold and Yugi's cheering her on. We may never get either her or Yugi to move," Jounouchi yelled.

"She's really good. If they ever made a duel monsters game where you have to dance, we might have a queen of games," Honda added.

Yami laughed and went towards the back with them, suddenly much happier with the day's outing, even though Kaiba had disappeared once again.

It was hours later when the two groups came together. Yami was in front. He nodded as Kaiba, dragged by Mokuba, approached. Kaiba stopped.

"I wasn't sure if you were still here," Yami said.

Kaiba nodded. He didn't bother replying to the obvious.

"Which was your favorite ride?" Mokuba asked.

"Until you get a Dark Magician themed one…"

"Dream on," Kaiba interrupted.

Yami laughed. "Well, until that day, the Blue Eyes White Dragon roller coaster is amazing. It's worthy of the card. I'm surprised you don't have it branch in three directions in homage to its ultimate form."

Kaiba looked at him. "Are you telling me how to improve my ride?" It was hard to tell if he approved of the idea or not.

"That depends. Are you willing to listen to suggestions?"

"Only from people I respect. I listen to Mokuba all the time."

Mokuba beamed at his brother and stood straighter than ever, as if effort could make up for inches.

"We were planning on heading out to get something to eat…" Kaiba began just as the rest of the gang caught up with Yami.

"Hi, Kaiba!" Yugi said. "This place is better than ever. The new dance game is fantastic."

"It's even harder than Dance Dance Revolution," Anzu added.

Kaiba nodded without looking away from Yami, waiting for an answer to his not-quite question.

"Yeah, I have to admit it, rich boy – you've outdone yourself," Jounouchi broke in. "Hey, come on, Yami. Enough chit chat. Let's go! I'm starving. Time to grab some grub!"

"Don't worry. I'm ready," Yami answered.

"We better hurry before he starts eating the rides," Honda interrupted as he and Bakura joined the others.

"Just a minute." Yami glanced back towards Kaiba, intending to add, "Would you like to join us?" but Kaiba had turned his back and was already walking away, with Mokuba following. Yami stared after him for a moment. Jounouchi threw an arm around his shoulder. "Focus, Yami. Less talk. More food!"

"Wait," Yami said, turning around again, but he could barely make out Kaiba's head above the crowd. He had almost reached the exit and Yami couldn't imagine dashing after him. He grimaced in frustration and turned back to his friends. "I'm ready," he repeated.

"Is everything okay? Kaiba's exit was kind of abrupt," Bakura said.

"Kaiba walking away in the middle of a conversation sounds like business as usual to me." Honda said.

Yami followed the others out of KaibaLand. He didn't bother searching for Kaiba. He doubted they were heading for the same restaurant.

The next morning, Yami analyzed his strategy and prepared his next move. In retrospect, it wasn't surprising that a staged casual meeting at a public venue like KaibaLand surrounded by everyone they knew – none of whom knew about them – had ended in disaster. Yami smiled, remembering finding Kaiba alone in his office on Friday. That's what they needed. Showing up at the end of the work day was definitely the way to go. Mokuba would be there, but with any luck, everyone else would be getting ready to go home. Yami frowned. He remembered that Yugi had told him this kind of strategy had no place when you cared for someone. But Yami didn't know any other way to be.

He kept his plans quiet until the end of the day. Yugi was helping his grandfather in the store when Yami stopped by to let them both know he was on his way over the Kaiba's office. He gestured with the bag slung over his shoulder. "I may stay over if it gets too late. Don't wait up."

"Don't worry. I know how you kids get when you're dueling or playing video games," Sugoroku said.

Yami pretended not to notice Yugi coughing unconvincingly as he left store. He arrived at Kaiba Corporation shortly before closing time, just as planned. Yami crossed the lobby, went up the elevator and strolled down the hallway. He nodded to Tamashiro when he reached Kaiba's office.

"I'm sorry," she said, her face a perfect, professional mask. "He said to tell you that he's busy. Would you like to make an appointment?"

"Busy? What game is he playing?"

"Kaiba-sama guessed you'd say that. He instructed me to tell you that he's not playing. That it's your turn to play a waiting game."

"You better call security, if you think that'll keep me away," Yami announced as he strode past her and flung the door open. His lips tightened further as he heard her mutter, "He said you'd do that, too."

Kaiba glared at his screen as Yami entered the room. Of course Yami had waited until late to arrive, when his friends were all busy with homework or something equally trivial. Yami was probably here for an invite back to the mansion. While Kaiba wouldn't mind having Yami stop by _as_ a booty call, _being_ Yami's booty call was another thing entirely.

"What the hell is going on?" Yami demanded as he slammed the door shut.

"It's Monday. I'm working. I didn't feel like being interrupted, not that that seems to matter to you," Kaiba said, not bothering to raise his glance from his monitor.

"You knew I'd be here once the weekend was over."

Kaiba looked up at that. He leaned forward and dug his elbows into the smooth, glass surface of his new desk. He rested his chin on his locked fingers and stared at Yami. "I know that you have visited on Monday before. The sample size is hardly large enough for me to establish a pattern, much less draw any conclusions. One day you're going to wander by only to find I'm in China or Germany or the United States. Next time, make an appointment."

"Is that what this is about? You wanted me to call?"

"Of course not," Kaiba scoffed.

"Phones work two ways you know. If you wanted to know how I was doing, you could have called, too. You were keen enough to chase me all through Battle City looking for a duel. You could have done the same for this."

"Get this through your thick head – this is not Battle City and I am never doing that again," Kaiba snarled, pulling back from his desk and springing to his feet. He caught himself before charging forwards.

Yami stared at him. Kaiba was truly angry. "Yugi said this should be easy," he muttered.

"Yugi? You told Yugi?"

Yami looked up at Kaiba and nodded. Kaiba had shouted loudly enough to make Yami relieved that the room was sound-proofed, but Kaiba didn't look angry. The tips of his lips had tilted upwards, before Kaiba remembered to tame them into his habitual scowl.

"Yes," Yami said.

"About us," Kaiba said. It wasn't quite a question and that almost smile had flickered back.

Yami tilted his head as if that would help him see more clearly. It wasn't like Kaiba to repeat himself. "I told you. It was special. It was important… to me at least. How could I keep it from Yugi?" Yami's eyes narrowed. "You kept it a secret."

"Get real. What was I supposed to tell Mokuba? That you and I shacked up, but it was probably a one-off thing? He's my kid brother and I've brought enough chaos into his life."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because I'm a realist. We don't owe each other anything."

"No. We don't. We've moved way beyond that. How many times do I have to tell you it was special before you'll believe me? Tell me: when have I ever lied to you?"

"Special doesn't mean repeatable!"

"Of course it does!" Yami stared at Kaiba. " Doesn't it? That is, I thought you would want me to come over… but you're right… it's not like we ever talked about it..."

"Who says I don't?" Kaiba roared.

"So I want to see you and you want to see me – and we're standing here screaming at each other?"

"I suppose this means you want to come over," Kaiba grumbled.

Yami grinned. "How could anyone refuse such a gracious invitation?"

Kaiba's lips twitched. He headed for the door. It was only as Kaiba stepped away from his desk, that Yami noticed he had one at all. This one had a blue glass top with a flat sheet of steel for legs at either side. Yami squinted. Yes, those were dragons, faintly embossed in the metal surface of the legs.

"I see it's not flammable," Yami said.

"Disappointed?" Kaiba asked.

"You've never disappointed me."

Kaiba could have pointed out all the times Yami had said the opposite. But he was pleased with Yami's answer and – for once – tired of arguing.

He walked over to Yami, reached out and gathered Yami into his arms, gratified at how easily Yami came and how well he fit. Kaiba bent down to kiss him. In two days he'd managed to forget how exquisite it was... feeling Yami's lips quiver beneath his, hearing Yami's breathing catch, stroking the pulse throbbing in Yami's neck, just under the jawline. He released Yami. It was easier to let go now that he knew Yami was following.

"I'll go tell Mokuba," he called over his shoulder as he went into the hall.

Yami followed, wondering exactly what Kaiba was planning on saying.

Unfortunately, Kaiba had no idea. He walked into Mokuba's office, closed the door and leaned against it.

"You're ready to go?" Mokuba asked.

Kaiba nodded but made no move to leave. "Yami's coming home with us again."

"He is?" Mokuba paused then blurted out, "Nisama, what's going on?"

Kaiba ran his hand through his hair. He should have known Mokuba would ask. "Do you mind having him around?"

"No. Of course not! It's just… you've never done anything like this before."

"Don't I know it," Kaiba muttered.

"But he's your friend, so I guess it makes sense?" Mokuba said.

Kaiba knew he could have nodded and Mokuba would have accepted it. But he perversely refused to take the easy way out. "Not quite." Kaiba cleared his throat. "You remember me telling you about sex?"

"Sure. You made a slide-show presentation. It had 30 slides. It was pretty hard to forget." Mokuba didn't mention he'd saved it on his tablet and looked at the pictures sometimes, late at night, at least all the ones that had a girl in them. He'd deleted the rest. Kaiba had been thorough. His presentation had included visuals of a variety of positions, combinations of partners of various genders and numbers, as well as a consumer comparison of condom brand, the pros and cons of different forms of contraception and a review of sexually transmitted diseases including close-ups of the affected body parts. Mokuba was right. It had been well researched and definitely memorable.

Mokuba looked at his brother and frowned. "What's that got to do with anything? Wait a moment… you mean…"

Kaiba nodded, refusing to look away. "The whole time I was making that damn presentation, I never figured any of it would apply to me, personally."

Mokuba gulped, trying for the first time to forget the pictures his brother had included, now that his Nisama's face was superimposed on most of them. He rubbed his eyes, realizing that what bothered him most was how emotionless the entire presentation been, something he'd never noticed until this minute. "But you and Yami… it's not like that stuff… you care about each other, right?"

Kaiba frowned. He refused to lie, even to Mokuba… especially to Mokuba. "It's not love, whatever the hell that is, so don't get any sappy ideas." Kaiba paused to run his hand through his hair. "You know the phrase friends with benefits?"

Mokuba nodded.

"Well, we're rivals with benefits, okay?"

Mokuba nodded again, partly out of force of habit and partly because he just wanted this conversation to be over. But benefits or not, he wanted more than a rival for his brother.

"Good. Now that that's settled, let's go home," Kaiba said as he left the room.

Yami was waiting in the hallway.

"I told him," Kaiba tossed over his shoulder as he headed for the elevator and got in.

Yami assumed that accounted for the stunned and wary look on Mokuba's face. "Why don't you go get the car?" he said to Kaiba. "Mokuba and I will follow."

Kaiba frowned and moved to hold the door open, but Mokuba nodded and said. "Go ahead. We'll meet you downstairs."

Once the door had closed, Mokuba turned to face Yami. "Well? What do you want?" he asked.

Yami shrugged. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to say anything to me, now that your brother's not here. If not, we can wait for the elevator in silence."

Mokuba shook his head, pressing his lips firmly together. Saying, "Get used to the back seat. I only give up the front seat to friends, not rivals," sounded both petty and melodramatic even to him.

Yami sighed and pushed the button for the elevator.

"My brother said you're just rivals with benefits," Mokuba blurted out.

Yami's face lit up. "Yes, we'll always be rivals. I would never have come so far without a rival like your brother to push me to be my best, to strengthen me when I faltered, to believe I was worthy of every challenge. I told your brother there was a place where rivals and friends are one – and he proved me right."

Mokuba stared at Yami. The elevator opened and they got in it. Mokuba was still staring. He didn't think that was what his brother had meant at all. But Yami was smiling and nothing he'd said sounded like anything in his brother's ridiculous slides at all.

Mokuba was grinning by the time the elevator reached the basement. Kaiba was waiting in the red convertible. Mokuba jumped in the back seat without thinking twice.

Dinner was quiet, followed by Mokuba's homework and some video games. In was only after Mokuba was asleep – or at least pretending – that they ended up back in Kaiba's bedroom.

Kaiba closed the door. They both breathed a sigh of relief as it clicked shut behind them.

Yami walked over to Kaiba and reached up to embrace him. He rested his head against Kaiba's chest. "This is been the first thing I've done in the last two days that feels easy. I'm glad we ended up back here."

"Me too," Kaiba said. He bent down to kiss Yami lightly. "But unless the next words out of your mouth are, 'turn ended,' please don't say another thing tonight. No more talking."

Yami smiled. "Does 'I agree' work for you as well? Because I definitely do." He stripped off Kaiba's jacket, smirked up at him and said, "Turn ended."

Kaiba grinned back. "Now this is a game I could get very used to." He pulled Yami's shirt off over his head and echoed, "Turn ended."

There was something exciting about standing close enough to kiss, close enough to reach out and touch each other, and then limiting each touch to the brief contact necessary to remove each piece of clothing, until they were both staring at each other, out of turns. Only a Puzzle and a Duel Monsters pendant remained. Finally, Kaiba stripped off Yami's Puzzle. Yami laid his hand over the pendant, over Kaiba's heart and let it rest there a moment, until Kaiba trapped it between their chests as he pulled Yami closer. They stumbled backwards towards the bed, arms and legs entangled. Kaiba reached out to break their fall as they tumbled on to it.

Kaiba looked back towards the closed door, then at Yami, lying beneath him on the bed. He was still a little angry. He was still confused. And he still didn't know exactly where he stood. But somehow they'd wound up here in his bedroom, where Kaiba had wanted them to be.

For once, Kaiba didn't want to think. He didn't want to stare down the future wondering when his next step would trigger the next landmine into exploding in his face. Not while Yami was here gazing at Kaiba as if Kaiba was the only person in his world.

For now.

Tomorrow would come. They'd return to their own separate lives, Kaiba to his corporation and Yami to his friends. And occasionally Kaiba would hate himself for wondering if Yami was pausing to think of him, too. He'd look back on this night and despise himself for the way he'd eagerly accepted each caress, for the way his arms had trembled, quivers that had nothing to do with the effort of holding his body poised above Yami's. Tomorrow Kaiba could tell himself all he wanted that he'd been the one taking Yami, that he'd been in control – but he'd know the whole time it was a hollow boast – that he'd reveled in keeping Yami focused solely on him, that he'd craved each proof of Yami's undivided attention. But that was tomorrow.

For now, Kaiba just wanted to make the most of tonight.

He leaned down and kissed Yami again, wanting to feel his lips once more, over and over, needing to feel Yami's mouth open, inviting him in. He leaned on one elbow, and stroked Yami's torso, fondled his nipples, his touch, for once, gentle. Kaiba dropped his head to rest against the curve of Yami's neck before angling it slightly upwards to nip at the lobe of Yami's ear, to lathe the whorls of its shell.

"Kaiba…" Yami moaned.

Kaiba lifted his head again and pressed his finger against Yami's lips. "I said, 'No talking.' remember?"

Yami moved his head forward to take Kaiba's finger in his mouth, his tongue swirling up and down its length.

"Yami... " Kaiba murmured.

Yami paused long enough to whisper, "No talking." He eased Kaiba's finger out of his mouth, then leaned upwards to kiss Kaiba's neck, starting just below the jawline, then moving down to Kaiba's collarbone, smiling in satisfaction as he left a mark that would last until the next time they met. Yami had spent the weekend wondering what was right and what was strategy and why his feelings weren't simple or easy or pure. Now he just wanted to feel. Now he just wanted Kaiba. Yami craved Kaiba's single-minded relentless energy, wanted to be worshiped in this new and decidedly non-divine way. Yami wanted to be real, to be human, to be flesh and blood heated by Kaiba's hands, by Kaiba's body meeting his.

As if in answer to Yami's unspoken need, Kaiba's unaccustomed gentleness had morphed into something fiercer, as if each caress, each touch, and finally, each thrust had been dipped in flame, as red and golden as Yami's hair. Yami screamed and realized that he was hoarse from screaming as he clawed Kaiba's back as he pushed Kaiba harder as he raced for its remembered conclusion. His one dazed thought was that he was right: Kaiba was everything he wanted, everything he needed tonight.

As he lay there panting, hearing Kaiba's harsh breaths pounding against his ear, Kaiba shifted, once again to Yami's side. Once again, Kaiba gathered Yami into his arms and held him tightly.

"Tell me, Kaiba… would it break one of your ridiculous rules if I said that I've wanted you to hold me ever since we parted on Saturday?"

Kaiba smiled and rubbed his cheek against Yami's hair. He guessed that he could stand a little talking after all. It all depended on what was being said.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and helping me keep track of when characters are standing, sitting, hugging or frowning.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I think the longer Kaiba went in between hearing from Yami, the more time he would have to come up with reasons why he's going to be disappointed or why Yami doesn't care, beyond having enjoyed having sex with him. So I could see him magnifying every time he was disappointed in their history and resurrecting it as a warning, ending with their less than successful meeting at KaibaLand where he leaves before Yami invites him to go out with them. At the same time, although Yami is interested, he's also confused about what he feels – and reluctant to admit that, so he's not much more communicative. He's also used to Kaiba chasing after him, and I don't think it's really sunk in that if he wants Kaiba, he's going to have to do some chasing of his own.

Anyway, I can see them being so tired of their rather rodent-on-a-hamster-wheel thoughts, that by the time they finally are alone together, they don't want to think, let alone talk. I'm really trying to set up a situation where they're both, for different reasons, doing their part in the communications mess. I'd like to know what you think.

As a side benefit, I love imagining how Kaiba would have "the talk" with Mokuba and the poor kid's reaction.

And speaking of benefits, I got to use the phrase "rivals with benefits!"

_**Note to TheDeadBeat:**_ Thanks! It's been fun thinking about different romantic/screwball comedies (I have a thing for Depression era comedies) and how they might apply.

_**Note to Sophie: **_Thank you so much! Although I'm not the quickest at updating, I try to have a new chapter posted every 3 weeks or so.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal at .com.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you and your comments help me figure out what's missing, what's working and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review. **_


	16. It Happened One Night

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 16: IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT**

IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT: Screwball comedy, circa 1934. Claudette Colbert's runaway heiress needs to get to New York City. Clark Gable's out-of-work reporter needs the exclusive, inside story to her whirlwind romance. Unfortunately – or luckily, depending on your point of view – when it comes to granting wishes, Fate has an odd sense of humor.

_MORAL: Sometimes the trick to getting what you need is as simple as learning to recognize it when it crosses your path._

* * *

Yami watched Kaiba get dressed. This time Yami had remembered to bring a clean T-Shirt and a change of underwear. There had been other little changes. Kaiba had woken Yami up, he'd asked his preference: more sleep and a limousine ride back to the game shop, or an early breakfast and a lift after Kaiba had dropped Mokuba at school. But the closeness of the night before – and their unspoken communication – had vanished with the dawn. Yami tried a couple of conversational gambits. They neither met with (nor deserved) much success. Kaiba had learned a minimal politeness, but the message was clear: the day had begun.

Yami was used to Yugi stumbling his way through the mornings. Mokuba was even harder to wake up. After listening to Kaiba yell, shake, and finally carry Mokuba downstairs, still wrapped in a blanket, Yami admitted that Mokuba might even have Jounouchi beat. Mokuba managed to open his eyes and shovel some food in his mouth, accompanied by Kaiba's random observations on the importance of breakfast, although Kaiba himself was having nothing but coffee. His comments were familiar. Yami wondered if Kaiba and Sugoroku had read the same manual.

Kaiba got the car while Mokuba finished dressing. Soon they were in the red car again, speeding towards Mokuba's school. The ride was quiet. The one back to the game store, after Mokuba's shouted goodbyes, was almost as silent. They pulled up to the corner, not quite in front of the shop. Kaiba turned off the engine. "If you're expecting me to ask if you want to do this again, you're going to have an awfully long wait," Kaiba announced.

"You've managed to avoid talking to me all morning, and this is the first thing that comes out of your mouth?"

"I didn't notice you saying much of anything either," Kaiba muttered.

"Don't worry. The last thing I'd expect from you is common courtesy. We all know that words like consideration or thoughtfulness don't apply to you."

"We?" Kaiba shrugged. "Never mind. Whatever."

Yami unlocked the car door with a click. But he couldn't quite match Kaiba's rudeness or leave things in the same indeterminate mess that had characterized the weekend. "I'll stop by Wednesday or Thursday sometime."

"Late, I assume," Kaiba replied, facing forwards.

Yami glanced at Kaiba. There was an edge in Kaiba's voice that Yami couldn't quite place. "If there's a question in there, ask me already."

"I told you, I'm not asking for anything."

"Fine. It'll be a surprise, then," Yami snapped. He was tired of whatever game Kaiba was playing, but he was unwilling to be the first to give up, unable to hand Kaiba so easy a victory.

"Wednesday or Thursday, huh?" Kaiba's voice was softer now. It had none of the triumph that Yami had expected from forcing him to speak first, leaving Yami more confused than ever.

Yami said, "We're expecting a bunch of shipments between today and Thursday. I want to be on hand to help out. I'll come by afterwards."

Kaiba nodded. "I'll be in my office."

"Okay, then," Yami said awkwardly. They seemed to have negotiated past some obstacle, but Yami wasn't sure what it had been or why it had vanished. He was more convinced than ever that Yugi was right. This should be easy. He should know what was going on, should be able to predict each of Kaiba's moves, no matter how erratic, before he made them.

Yami ground his teeth in frustration, the sound audible in the car. But he made no move to leave. Instead he sank back into the seat and admitted to himself that even though he hadn't left, he was already eager to see Kaiba again, impatient for their next encounter. Yami leaned across, kissed Kaiba on the lips, got out of the car and shut the door.

It was time to resume his life.

Sugoroku was getting ready to leave the house to open the store as Yami entered. Yami ran to drop his bag in the bedroom. The older man had unlocked the shop door and was sweeping in front by the time Yami rejoined him.

"I can do that," Yami said.

Sugoroku handed him the broom. "It's relaxing, isn't it?" Sugoroku asked after watching Yami for a moment.

Yami nodded. There was something calming about the regular motions. He smiled to himself imagining Kaiba's reaction if he handed Kaiba a broom the next time he got worked up.

Sugoroku went inside to set up the cash register. Yami had seemed distracted all weekend. It was good to see him smiling slightly as he swept the sidewalk. Sugoroku nodded as Yami entered the store and put the broom away. He waited to see if Yami said anything beyond the commonplace greetings they'd already exchanged.

"I hadn't realized that confusion was such a large part of life," Yami said as he started dusting the shelves. "Or that it would be such a large part of mine, at any rate."

"It's not just you," Sugoroku assured him.

"Sometimes it feels that way. Or maybe it's just that other people are better at avoiding acknowledging it."

"If you're referring to Kaiba, I'm sure that boy's a master at repressing anything that doesn't lead directly to his own survival."

Yami nodded, but he couldn't help remembering how Kaiba had opened up to him, had told him things that even Mokuba didn't know, had let Yami see his uncertainty before he'd gone back to pretending everything was business as usual. Where then, on Kaiba's hierarchy of necessities – a scale that included food and shelter and hologram dragons – did a rival rank?

"Sometimes it feels like a cheat," Yami said, trying unsuccessfully to keep the resentment out of his voice. "Life never felt like this when I was part of the Puzzle, when I was part of Yugi. Now even picking out a shirt is an endeavor." He laughed; there was a new bitterness in the sound.

"You're trying to figure out who you are and what you want. That's rarely easy."

Yami stared at him. Yugi had told him the opposite. Yami shook his head. "Sometimes I think I have no aptitude for this game."

"You haven't played it for very long," Sugoroku pointed out.

Before Yami could answer, the first preschoolers entered the store with their mothers, ready for the morning's play session. Sugoroku gestured to them. "It's going to take each and every one of them over a dozen years to get to the place you've managed to reach in less than a month."

"The answer always seems to be that I have time. That's good because I intend to play this hand through until I win."

Yami went over to a group of customers, watching the children as they reached for and tossed toys aside before finally settling down to play. Maybe Sugoroku was right and he could learn something from these littlest gamers… from watching them figure out, with wholehearted earnestness, what they wanted.

It was strange, Yami thought, as the morning wore on… he still hadn't told Sugoroku about Kaiba, hadn't confided any of the details, even as he'd revealed the emotions behind them – and yet he felt better, as if he'd received the benefit of the confession he hadn't made.

The school day had never seemed longer to Yugi. He'd decided to ask Anzu out on the way home. Whatever the answer, he couldn't wait any longer to ask the question.

But he still had the walk back to Anzu's house to get through. It wouldn't be fair to blurt something out and then make her walk next to him in awkward silence if she said no. But anything he could have said instead to fill the time was too trivial to attempt. So they walked down the streets without speaking, occasionally sneaking glances at the other one's face. Yugi's was serious, as if he was getting ready to duel.

It made it hard for Anzu to think of anything to say, either. It was like waiting for a storm, knowing you were never going to make it home before the sky opened up. Anzu knew she could have discouraged Yugi long before it had reached this moment. She could have stopped him from meeting her at dance class, from walking her home after school, from carrying her books. Maybe it meant something that she hadn't.

Yugi turned to face her when they reached her door. "I'd really like to go out with you," he said, and somehow it was a shock, even though Anzu had known it was coming. She'd thought about it; she'd avoiding thinking about it. Neither strategy had worked.

For a moment Yami's name hung, unspoken, between them. Then Anzu smiled and it blew away, a ghost that had no power to haunt the living.

Anzu wondered why it was so easy to confuse decency with stupidity. After all, Yugi knew she'd had a crush on Yami since he'd first appeared. But maybe Yugi had seen it quicker than she had: this wasn't about Yami. It was simply about her and Yugi and whether she wanted to give him… to give this… to give them a chance. This was her decision. Hers and Yugi's.

Anzu bit her lip. She'd been the cheerleader at so many save-the-world moments. This wasn't the same. So why did she feel like her world was about to fall apart if she gave the wrong answer? She was afraid of ruining the best friendship she'd ever had if she said "yes" and it didn't work out. She was afraid of that happening anyway if she said, "no." Yugi deserved a guaranteed happiness. She knew she loved him, but what if she wasn't in love with him as well?

"I'm scared," she admitted.

Yugi nodded. "So am I. But I'd rather be afraid together, than apart."

She reached out, her movement for once awkward and uncoordinated.

Yugi grabbed her hands. He squeezed them tight and smiled up at her. "It'll be all right, whatever happens. I'll never let it be anything else."

Yugi said it so gently. That was the thing with Yugi, he was always quiet and understanding and all the things boys are never given credit for being. It wasn't surprising that it had taken her years to recognize the strength at the heart of his soft words. She nodded.

It was just one word. It was surprisingly easy for Anzu to say.

Yami knew what had happened the moment Yugi raced through the door.

"I did it! She said 'YES!'" Yugi grinned, looking far too young to be thinking about dating. "And no complicated games theory was required. I just asked and she just answered."

Yami hugged him. "I'm happy for you, partner."

Yugi laughed, a light, lilting sound. "I'm happy for myself. We're going out to dinner and then to see Kei Takei's Moving Earth Company. They're touring Domino." Yugi blushed.

"Kei Takei? Isn't that the dance group Anzu was talking about the other day? The one she said she'd always wanted to see? I thought you said that you didn't need strategy," Yami teased.

"That's not it," Yugi said seriously. "I want to make her happy. I want it to be the best first date ever, the kind of thing we look back on and smile about." Yugi smiled and shrugged; his face was still pink.

Yami grinned back. Yugi looked so innocent and helpless when he did that; his shrugs weren't arrogant or dismissive as Kaiba's so often were.

"I'm not sure how to explain," Yugi continued. "You know how we talk about the heart of the cards? Well with Anzu it's dance, not duel monsters. It's like she has a soundtrack running through her soul and she has to move in time with it."

Yami stared at Yugi as if his partner's face wasn't more familiar than his own. It was the most poetic thing he'd ever heard Yugi say.

"I'm so happy," Yugi repeated. "I just wish…"

"What? Is something wrong?" Yami asked, noting the concerned look on Yugi's face and starting to worry himself in response.

"No. Everything's perfect. For me at least. I just wish you were this happy too," Yugi blurted out.

"I'm happy for you, partner. I couldn't be more overjoyed."

"I want you to be happy for yourself! I know you saw Kaiba again, but that's different. I mean you said it yourself… it's not like you're going out together..."

Yami bit his lips as he considered Yugi's words. He'd been on Kaiba's motorcycle; Kaiba had stalked him to his pier. Yami assumed neither of those counted as dating. The beach trip had probably come closest. Kaiba had invited him saying that he had a theory to test. Yami gave a start of surprise realizing that Kaiba had never mentioned what exactly he'd been trying to prove.

"No," Yami said to Yugi. "I guess we've been staying in together, instead."

"Yami! That's not what I meant!" Yugi protested, laughing. "I was being serious! I just want you to be happy. And not because I am. You deserve more than that."

Yami's eyebrows drew together in concentration. For all that Kaiba fascinated him, it wasn't a simple happiness. Did that make it a lesser one?

"Don't worry," Yugi said, noticing and just as quickly misinterpreting Yami's frown. "Finding someone like Anzu, someone that makes you feel like the luckiest person in the world… it's worth waiting for."

Yugi rushed to hug Yami. Yami was glad his face was hidden. He was frowning again. He was sure Yugi was right… Kaiba didn't make him feel like the luckiest person alive. Sometimes Yami still resented being here at all. And no one – not Kaiba and not even Yugi – could banish those doubts completely. But somehow, contradictory as it sounded, even to Yami, Kaiba also had helped Yami learn to accept his life, to face his future, to come closer each day to owning it. Although the sound of Kaiba's name (not to mention his voice) often made Yami clench his teeth in frustration, Kaiba gave Yami something to look forward to; he thought of Kaiba at odd moments throughout each day they were apart. Yami wondered uneasily what he was missing, what wondrous emotion he was supposed to be waiting for.

"You all keep saying that I have time," he reminded Yugi teasingly.

"That's right, throw my words back in my face," Yugi laughed. "Oh no! I still have to tell Ji-chan!" He blushed again. "I'm not sure what he's going to say or what jokes he's going to tell… but I'm very sure I don't want to hear any of it!"

"Well, it's time to face the music," Yami said as they headed to dinner.

Yami was glad when the deliveries showed up a day earlier than scheduled. He had time to unload, inventory and stack everything without delaying his plans to see Kaiba on Wednesday. His visits were turning into a routine. Sugoroku and Yugi waved goodbye when he left. They didn't expect to see him home. This time, thankfully, Tamashiro smiled as he approached and waved him towards her boss' door.

"Wednesday, huh?" Kaiba said. He frowned a little to keep from smiling. Yami had chosen the earlier of the two days he'd suggested.

"Very good. You know the days of the week," Yami answered.

Kaiba grinned, but refused to say anything more. Yami had come early. Kaiba wasn't going to ruin that triumph by admitting that he'd noticed.

"I see you're still in Yugi's clothes," he observed instead.

Yami looked down at his shirt. Kaiba was right. The only piece of clothing, besides the ones that had magically appeared in Egypt, that was his, had belonged to Mokuba first. He liked Mokuba's shirt. He'd washed it. He'd taken it out of his drawer each morning, then put it back. "How did you know that this isn't mine?"

"You came back from Egypt in a black shirt. This one is grey."

"How do you know I didn't buy it?"

"Did you?"

"No. Why do you care?"

"I don't. You can keep on wearing Yugi's shirts until they unravel from age – as long as it's what_ you _want," Kaiba replied.

"How do you know it isn't?"

"Because you haven't told me to fuck off, yet."

Yami smiled, a thin, bitter twist of his lips. "Should I? Would avoiding your questions make them go away?"

"No. You know better. The questions we avoid are the ones that dog our footsteps. Pretending they don't exist won't make them vanish. I dragged you up to the top of my duel tower because I didn't know how to do anything but look away. It didn't work, but at least I finally learned something I should have figured out way before. The worst losses of all are when we lose ourselves – and that's a mistake I'll never permit my rival to make. No one is defeating you but me."

Yami smiled. "Sometimes I wonder why I like you so much."

Kaiba grinned back. "So do I."

"Thank you, though." Yami raised an eyebrow. "You're easy to talk to."

"Or yell at?"

"That, too," Yami admitted. He drew in a breath. "Okay… when I decide I'm ready to get clothes, I will. Until then, fuck off."

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. "Spoken like a true rival."

Kaiba packed up swiftly. They collected Mokuba and headed for Kaiba's mansion.

Yami sometimes wondered if he'd been affected by his past, for all that he'd lost it, more than he'd realized. It was surprisingly easy to get used to coming to a clean house that he hadn't picked up himself, being cooked and served dinner, and leaving the table knowing someone else would wash the dishes.

"I have to help Mokuba with his homework," Kaiba announced stiffly when they entered the living room.

Yami nodded. "I haven't finished beta testing your latest game." He pulled out his phone and a notebook. Kaiba had given him access to the beta version for mobile devices. He made notes of what translated well to the smaller screen, where it was hard to follow the action or the words, and then settled down to breaking the game.

He looked up at Kaiba's chuckle.

"You barely bother to use it as a phone, but put a game on it…" Kaiba said.

Yami flashed a grin in answer, then got back to work. The evenings spent here always surprised Yami in their hominess, in the way they reminded him of his evenings back home with Sugoroku and Yugi. The main difference, Yami acknowledged with a wry grin, was that at the end of the evening he could go to bed with Kaiba instead of having to settle for thinking about him as he drifted off to sleep.

They entered the bedroom, not bothering with words as their clothes dropped to the floor. Yami was the first to move forward. He needed to take something – life, his future, Kaiba – into his hands. And Kaiba was standing so obediently near, already leaning into his embrace. Unlike the unknown future, Kaiba was waiting, ready to be seized.

Yami angled Kaiba towards the bed, his movements as tentative and graceful as a dancer learning a new sequence of steps. Kaiba followed him down to the mattress, too intent on memorizing this new set of moves to take in their logical end.

Yami shifted on the bed so that he was straddling Kaiba, his weight firmly anchored on Kaiba's body. Kaiba allowed it, stunned into immobility by his own acquiescence as Yami cupped his face in his hands. Yami leaned down and brushed Kaiba's lips with a tenderness that even Kaiba couldn't mistake. Kaiba had thought of sex as something fast and furious, as all action with no place for anything as perilously close to affection. It was the lie he'd told himself each day, every time he needed something to get him into the same room with Yami, and now it had been stripped bare.

It was strange and new and frightening and exciting. And maybe Yami had infected him with the desire for new experiences.

Kaiba was glad that Yami didn't ask beyond a raised eyebrow, didn't require an answer beyond a shrug.

At last, Yami thought, he'd found something easy, something that felt natural, something that met Yugi's definitions of simple joy. Everyone kept telling him to figure out what he wanted. Well, for tonight what he wanted was Kaiba lying pliantly beneath him, ready to be kissed and caressed and taken, ready to be shown that tenderness had a place, even between rivals. But as Yami touched that pale, marked skin, as he brushed the slender column of Kaiba's neck with his lips, as Kaiba tilted his head slightly back to allow him easier access to the skin under his jawline, Yami accepted that gentleness wasn't the only thing he needed.

Yami's kiss deepened, he sucked at Kaiba's neck, then moved down his body, leaving traces of his possession, marking Kaiba's skin, making it his inch by inch. Kaiba thrashed beneath him, letting go in a way that was increasingly familiar and strangely new. There was something about seeing Kaiba from this angle, writhing on the bed, twisting the sheets he'd grabbed at random, that made Yami pause. Yami had wanted Kaiba vulnerable, he'd wanted Kaiba eager to be claimed... and yet, on the brink of getting everything he'd craved, Yami remembered Kaiba saying that first night that in any equation there was a buyer and a seller. He was suddenly afraid of how Kaiba would view this exchange in the morning.

"Is this what you want?" Yami gasped.

"You're asking this _now_?" Kaiba replied, his voice equally ragged.

"I want you so badly," Yami said.

Kaiba stared at him a moment, eyes wide in the dim light. Kaiba had never seen Yami look like this before, thrown and shaken completely off balance and unable to hide it. Kaiba liked the sight. Kaiba's teeth flashed. Both eyes and smile were equally unrevealing. He pulled Yami back down and arched his neck again. "You talk too much."

"You're so beautiful," Yami murmured against Kaiba's neck, before kissing it obediently. He raised his head and stared for a moment down at Kaiba's body, memorizing it as it gleamed faintly in the moonlight streaming in from the windows. Yami exhaled and returned to his journey down Kaiba's body, until Kaiba was once again quivering beneath him, clutching at anything – bedding, Yami's body – needing to move, to grab and hold in return. Until Yami was once again ready to meet him, to sink into him.

Yami surrendered gratefully, eagerly letting his world narrow until it held only their two bodies. It was a world they recreated every time they came together, a world bounded by sensation; its borders were the edge of Kaiba's bed. The only language was their shared moans… Kaiba's guttural growl, Yami's own gasping breaths. Yami's sight focused on Kaiba's body, caught in flashes as Kaiba writhed beneath him... the only colors the blur of cinnamon brown as Kaiba's head tossed, the narrow flash of blue as his eyes flickered open and shut. It was a world where touch was king: the feel of the sweat-softened surface of Kaiba's skin, of the wiry muscles beneath. And then Yami's awareness tightened further, pinpointing that space where their bodies met; his own body defined by the spot where it merged with Kaiba's.

Kaiba had always known what he wanted. Now all he wanted was more… more of Yami kissing him gently, more of Yami sucking hard enough to leave marks… more of Yami with his head thrown back in exaltation, as if he truly belonged to some other world… more of Yami possessing him as if Kaiba could belong to something beyond himself, as if he was someone that Yami wanted to claim… more of this strange, unfathomable feeling of being somewhere, somehow, outside of and yet so very much aware of himself, of Yami, of their union.

And then it came: that moment when Kaiba's brain finally stopped whirring, stopped churning out conjectures and rationalizations, when he simply surrendered to what he was feeling. Yami was everywhere and Kaiba sank under that assault on his senses, the barrage of information overwhelming his system, as he finally found a way to blue screen.

Afterwards, Kaiba had barely enough energy to grab on to Yami, to hold him in place as a small, inadequate blanket… and one that kept nuzzling at Kaiba's shoulder as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Kaiba's eyes opened with a snap two hours later. It was dark. He'd pushed Yami away at some point. He was laying on his back, spine stiff, legs straight, arms at his side, as if he was already dead. It hadn't been a nightmare. It was a memory. Kaiba reminded himself there was a difference.

He'd been thirteen. He'd been instructed to bring his completed assignment to Gozaburo the moment he'd finished. He'd forced himself to walk calmly down the long corridor that led to Gozaburo's office. He didn't have to run. He still had three minutes until the deadline. He wasn't going to hand back his victory, earning a punishment instead for appearing flustered or rushed. By the time he reached the end of the hallway, his face was a perfectly composed, blank mask, just as he'd been trained.

He paused at the door. Gozaburo's secretary wasn't at her usual station in front of the office. Kaiba had stared at the closed door, then knocked. There wasn't an answer, even though he could hear movement within. He hadn't expected one. This was a trap. He had two minutes left before the deadline and Gozaburo wanted to see what he would do.

In a way it didn't matter. The only truth was that Gozaburo was going to punish him. If he stood here, squirming and helpless, outside of Gozaburo's door any longer, he'd miss his deadline. Gozaburo would lash out at him for that, berating him for his cowardice, for cowering outside the office. If he barged in, the fact that he'd completed the assignment wouldn't save him. He'd be disciplined for entering Gozaburo's office unannounced. They were Gozaburo's rules. And the person who set the rules got to enforce them at his pleasure.

Kaiba threw open the door and strode in, slamming it shut behind him with a thud. He didn't care what Gozaburo did. But he wasn't going to stand outside Gozaburo's door like a sniveling little kid waiting for his punishment to fall on his shoulders as if it came from the heavens above.

He stopped halfway into the room. Gozaburo was at his desk, the chair pushed back slightly, from the ornate, wooden surface. Gozaburo didn't bother to acknowledge his adoptive son's presence, his gaze seemed focused somewhere towards the ceiling.

Kaiba looked at the floor. He didn't like or trust the odd stillness or the strange look he'd caught on Gozaburo's face before he'd turned his head. Then Gozaburo's soft exhalation startled him into glancing back.

"It's time for your next lesson, boy," Gozaburo barked.

Kaiba didn't respond.

Without taking his eyes from his adoptive son's face, Gozaburo ordered, "Get out from under there."

Kaiba looked around. Gozaburo didn't say anything else and Kaiba knew better than to ask. Kaiba put the assignment on the table and turned to leave. Before he could complete his escape, Gozaburo laughed.

"Not you, boy. I told you, your next lesson is here."

Kaiba stared, struggling to maintain his pose of polite disinterest as Gozaburo's secretary scuttled out from under the desk, her face painfully red. She hurried for the door when Gozaburo's voice stopped her cold. "Did I dismiss you, girl?"

Gozaburo didn't bother glancing at her. She shook her head, stifling her sobs in her hands.

"You know what sex is, boy? It's power and dominance, just like everything else. You have two choices in life: to dominate or to submit. Take a good look at her, boy. Observe the red face, the pathetic, useless tears. If you're the one on your knees, you've already been defeated. You might as well be dead. The weak lose. The strong use them and toss them aside and it's what they deserve." Still without looking at the sobbing woman Gozaburo said, "Get out. You're fired."

Like all of Gozaburo's secretaries she'd been disdainful of everyone around her, including her boss' adoptive sons. Kaiba hadn't liked the woman, hadn't felt sorry for her as she'd rushed past him, still crying. It was the lesson itself that was now coming home to roost, making an uncomfortable third in his bed. The man had been dead for years now. Why did his words still linger? And if there was only dominance or death, what did that say about his choices tonight?

He was glad he wasn't holding Yami.

Yami wasn't sure what had woken him up. Maybe he felt cold now that Kaiba's arms were no longer around him. Kaiba was lying on his back next to him, not quite touching. Yami glanced at Kaiba. The taller man was still. His eyes were closed, his breathing was regular. He might have been asleep, but Yami doubted it. The tenseness in his thin frame gave him away. Yami resisted asking Kaiba if he was all right. "Are you awake?"

Kaiba's eyes opened fractionally, twin gleams of malicious blue barely visible beneath the lowered lids. "Remarkable observation."

"You seem a little on edge," Yami said carefully.

"I was thinking."

"About what?"

"Work."

"Okay. As long as you're... " Yami caught himself just in time.

Kaiba reached out and pulled Yami to him. He liked it that Yami was so much smaller, too small to ever be a threat. He liked the way Yami fit into the curve of his armpit as if he was made to nestle at Kaiba's side, the way his head rested on Kaiba's shoulder. "Of course I'm all right. Don't turn protective on me at this late date. I agreed, didn't I? I knew sooner or later you'd want to even the score. Besides, how could I deny you a liberty I've taken myself, twice now?"

Yami sighed and snuggled closer. He wrapped his arms around Kaiba. "Go to sleep, Kaiba."

"Don't tell me what to do."

The words were clipped. It was hard to tell if they were sincerely meant or were simply a reflex. But now that Yami was laying on Kaiba, the tension in his body was even more apparent, something beyond the habitual wariness that never quite left. It reminded Yami of that first night, of how stiffly Kaiba had held himself when he'd spoken of his adoptive father. Yami wondered if Kaiba's past had caught up to him once more. He didn't ask. He couldn't ask Kaiba for another vulnerability. Yami could however, offer his own.

"It's more than just feeling out of place, here. Something changed for me in that Memory World. I met them… Mahaado… Mana… I fought beside them."

"You fought beside us, too." Kaiba pointed out.

"I know. But they gave their lives for me. Don't I owe them mine in return?" Yami sighed. "It's hard to figure out..."

"What?"

"What we owe the dead. How to repay them."

Yami felt Kaiba's hand settle on his hair and stroke it lightly. Yami rubbed his cheek against Kaiba's chest.

"I don't know," Kaiba said. "But you can't control the order of the deck as it falls. You can only play each hand with whatever honor you can muster. Live to make them proud if you have to. It's not a bad reason."

"No. It isn't. But I wonder what it'll be like when I draw them from my deck, when I see them stand in front of me… and all they'll be is holograms."

"_All_?" Kaiba asked, an edge back in his voice.

"Wonderful, life-like holograms, but illusions nonetheless."

Kaba didn't answer for a minute. Yami wondered if he had fallen asleep. Then he said, "I saw a girl in that ridiculous excuse for an ancient world. She turned into my Blue Eyes White Dragon."

Yami nodded. "I remember."

"I didn't get to meet her. She died as soon as I arrived. If she created my dragons, somehow, I'm grateful. But they're mine now."

"But Mahaado and Mana… they're more than cards."

"So is my dragon." Kaiba shook his head. "They're your monsters. You have to find your own meaning in them. It's still there."

"Everything has changed, but that's the one constant isn't it... the connection between us? They were always real to me. What's different is that I know them now."

"Thing change. I once thought my dragon represented my anger. Now I know better." Kaiba shook his head. "I don't know if we can change along with our cards. But you told me that I had to tame my demons of anger and hatred to have a true future. What would be the point if it's all written in stone, anyway? I refuse to believe in any destiny, even one written by my own hand…" Kaiba paused then finished his sentence silently, "... and certainly not one of Gozaburo's making."

Kaiba leaned down and kissed the top of Yami's head. Gozaburo's words still echoed in the room, in every pause in Yami's words. But Kaiba thought he could put them aside for the rest of the night; he was grateful for the respite.

Yami smiled and nuzzled Kaiba's chest again, lightly. "Thank you." He felt Kaiba relax under him. "Now please get some sleep."

This time Kaiba didn't argue.

Kaiba woke up the next morning. Yami was in his arms once again. He shook his head as he sat up, trying to reconcile… everything about his life with what had happened last night. He'd liked talking to Yami in the middle of the night. He'd liked holding him. But that hadn't been the only thing he'd liked.

Kaiba had expected it to hurt the next morning. And it did, a little. He'd expected to hear Gozaburo's voice telling him that he'd lost again – and that worst of all, it had been at his own invitation. And he did, a little.

But Kaiba hadn't expected to enjoy it. He hadn't expected – even the next day – to still be savoring this unwanted feeling of belonging, a treacherous emotion that had lingered well past the actual event. And Kaiba hadn't expected to feel cared about or cared for.

Suddenly Kaiba ran to the bathroom, turned on the shower to drown out the noise, threw up, then methodically washed his face and brushed his teeth. He climbed in the shower and shampooed his hair and washed himself off. In his wildest imaginings, he'd never thought he'd want Yami to do it again.

They had started to tentatively work their way towards becoming friends. Fucking seemed to have changed that progression. He didn't know what to do, how to trust someone he'd already let in so far. Still on autopilot, he dried himself off, and wrapped a towel around his waist. With that flimsy armor in place he headed back into his bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Kaiba?" Yami's voice was still slurred with sleep.

Kaiba glanced at Yami, trying to gauge how much he'd heard. It was hard to tell. Nothing showed but a residual sleepiness and Yami's customary level of concern. Yami tossed aside the blankets and came to sit next to Kaiba, his legs dangling slightly off the floor.

Kaiba smiled. "I always forget how little you are."

Yami ducked his head and butted it into Kaiba's side. "Has anyone ever told you that you have ridiculously long legs?" Yami answered. Yami was proud of himself. He didn't blush even when he thought of the way those delightfully long legs had wrapped around him last night.

"No," Kaiba answered.

"Well, consider the message delivered." Yami head butted him again and when Kaiba curled in instinctively, Yami hugged him for good measure.

Kaiba froze for a moment in surprise; the gesture was so playful. It was hard for even Kaiba to maintain his distance, to maintain the tension between them. He reached out, his gesture slow and tentative, and drew Yami closer. He rested his arm lightly on Yami's shoulder. Yami tightened his grip around Kaiba's torso. Kaiba allowed himself to lean, ever so slightly, into that embrace.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Kaiba looks at so much of life as being about winning or losing – and the idea of being on top has been so ground into him – that I could really see him having issues revolving around sexual positions. I could easily imagine him on some level believing that being on the bottom carried an extra meaning. So actually liking it as opposed to permitting it out of some warped sense of fair play would be frightening. In a way this is a reflection of his ongoing problem with intimacy in general – the more he enjoys and wants it, the worse he feels about himself and the more he needs to prove what an uncaring jerk he can be. But I also liked the idea that at times, despite all their doubts, they could just let their guard down and be there for each other.

Oh… and I'm trying to decide whether comparing an orgasm to blue screening is the weirdest metaphor I've made to date. It's definitely a contender.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal at .com.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you and your comments help me figure out what's missing, what's working and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review. **_


	17. Clueless

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

**MANGA NOTE:** The early encounters between both Kaiba brothers and Yami no Yugi are nothing short of disastrous. Kaiba steals the Blue Eyes White Dragon from Yugi. When he refuses to return it, Yami no Yugi challenges him to a penalty game. Kaiba loses and undergoes the promised "experience of death" of being ripped apart and killed by duel monsters. He re-experiences this every night. Mokuba, who is leading a squad of Taser-wielding elementary school kids, challenges Yami no Yugi to a duel of his own, also undergoing a penalty game when he loses.

* * *

**CHAPTER 17: CLUELESS**

CLUELESS: Romantic comedy, circa 1995. This high school update of Jane Austen's "Emma," demonstrates the complete and utter inability of people to recognize the contents of their own hearts, much less fathom anyone else's.

_MORAL: Sometimes the title says it all._

* * *

Yugi had a new appreciation for Yami wanting to keep his private life, private. The day had begun with his grandfather elbowing him in the ribs and joking about the benefits of being short enough that your eyes were at "perfect boob height." Yugi didn't disagree. He just wished that his grandfather had let the matter drop instead of offering advice about how to increase his chances of ending up with his face smushed into someone's knockers during hugs. By the time Sugoroku had paused for breath, Yugi had been blushing. Again. And Yami had just sat there throughout the whole ordeal looking angelic and winking at Yugi whenever Sugoroku turned his back.

It had been a relief to escape and Yugi had never looked forward to getting to school before. He caught up to Jounouchi and Honda on the way and managed to blurt out a couple of sentences to let them know about his big date.

"Anzu, huh?" Jounouchi said. "I'm happy for you."

"She'd smack you if you were anything else," Honda said.

"She's a great friend. It's just… you're like a world champion, Yugi. You could have someone like Mai. Well, not Mai, exactly, but you know, someone blonde and stacked and a kick-ass duelist."

"Anzu beat her," Yugi pointed out.

"Only because Mai let her win and you know it!" Jounouchi said, having totally lost sight of the fact that he didn't want Yugi to ask Mai out in his rush to defend her dueling skills.

"Well, Anzu won in Noa's World, too. Anyway, I don't care if Anzu couldn't shuffle a deck without dropping half the cards on the floor…"

"She'd never be that clumsy. She's a dancer," Honda reminded him.

Yugi smiled at him gratefully.

"I'm sorry," Jounouchi said. "Anzu's the best buddy a guy could have. I'd trust her to watch my back any day of the week. It's just… I can't stop thinking about Mai, especially since I'm about to be cooped up in school with nothing better to think about, anyway."

Yugi gave an impish grin. "Well, that's the perfect reason for _you _to find out when she's going to be in Domino next. But it's silly to expect me to want to date Mai just because you do."

Jounouchi nodded and threw an arm around Yugi. "Yeah, you're right. Besides, if she said yes, I'd have to be all kinds of jealous. So where are you going, anyway? Did you see that ad for the new movie 'Arm Fall Off Boy?' His superpower is that he can tear off his arms and beat people over the head with them!"

Yugi blushed and ducked his head. "Uh… we're going to the ballet. At least, I think it's a ballet. Some kind of dance company."

"Ballet? Like tutus and shit? Dude… you've got it bad!" Jounouchi laughed.

Yugi laughed too. "That's what I've been trying to tell you! But you're wrong. I think I got it good," he said as they reached the school building.

It wasn't until later that Jounouchi and Honda found time to talk alone.

"Yugi and Anzu. I sure as hell didn't see that one coming," Jounouchi said.

"You missing something isn't exactly news," Honda pointed out.

Jounouchi leaped at his friend. Once he'd put Honda in a headlock and rubbed his knuckles against Honda's scalp, he continued, "Well, it _was_ surprising. I wasn't going to say anything in front of Yugi, but I thought she liked Yami, didn't you?"

"I'm not talking to you until you let me go. Jerk. You're the only person who has to put someone in a headlock to get them to listen."

"Fine," Jounouchi said, releasing Honda.

Honda theatrically rolled his neck and shoulders, shaking out imaginary knots. He grinned as Jounouchi started tapping his foot impatiently, and then scrunched up his face, his nose wrinkling as he considered his friend's question. "I guess. Kinda. If I thought about it at all. But Yami hasn't exactly been showing an interest in… well… much of anything, lately."

"And you think she's just settling for Yugi because she can't get Yami? That would be a dirty trick!"

"Of course I'm not saying anything so stupid! This is Anzu! She'd kill you if she knew you were talking trash about her like that – and I'd be waiting in line to kick the pieces when she got done."

"Yeah, that was low, huh? But I didn't say it – I just thought you did. And I was going to yell at you for it too, if you hadn't beaten me to it." Jounouchi sighed. "It's just… I don't want things to change, you know? Like what if they go out and then break up and we have to pick sides?"

Honda chuckled. "They haven't even gone on a date yet and you already have them breaking up."

"I'm serious, buddy. This could be the end of everything."

"You're an idiot. Can you imagine Yugi _asking us to take sides_?"

This time, when Honda laughed, Jounouchi joined him. "Yeah, for once you're right. And I can see Anzu yelling at us for not doing enough to support Yugi when anyone could see that he needs us. Friends forever, right?" He high-fived Honda, then threw in a chest bump for good measure. "Now if we can just get Yami out of his funk, we'll have nothing to worry about."

"He seems to be doing better lately," Honda said, wondering when he'd become the voice of reason in their group. "Anyway, this is Yami. Nothing's going to keep him down for long."

Yami wasn't due to help in the store until the evening. He headed back to Kaiba Corporation in the afternoon, for once not concerned with timing or strategy. Something had bothered Kaiba, had hurt him. Yami had no clue what was wrong, but he couldn't ignore it either. Kaiba's words from the night before flashed across Yami's mind: "I knew sooner or later you'd want to even the score." Why hadn't he argued with the taller duelist? It hadn't been like that at all.

"Hi!" Mokuba called out as Yami walked passed his office.

Yami paused for a moment before entering, trying not to feel awkward as the memory of tasting one brother intruded on his greeting the other.

When he thought of Kaiba now, he saw the other man – his friend and rival – naked, bracing himself above Yami, blue eyes intent in the darkened bedroom, his arms and torso glistening with a faint sheen of sweat. Then the vision shifted and Kaiba was under him now, his legs wrapped around Yami's hips, his face stunned by his own pliancy.

And somehow everything else, friendship and rivalry both, had been buried beneath their shared need.

He wouldn't have traded those brief nights with Kaiba, but something had been lost nonetheless and he wanted it back.

Yami shook his head and stepped firmly into the room. He tilted his head to one side as he considered Mokuba's presence. It was early afternoon. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

"I had an interview for one of those news shows for kids. I'm going to be missing a lot of days anyway with the upcoming tournament."

"You get to skip school for that?"

"You do when you're Seto Kaiba's brother," Mokuba said with a grin. "Nisama can help me with anything I missed, anyway. And I'm still working on school projects and stuff with my friends."

"If they're anything like Jounouchi and Honda…"

"Yeah, they're jealous and they let me know their opinion of kids who get their brothers to square missing a ton of days. But it's okay. They're nothing like my old friends… you know… before…"

"Neither are you," Yami said firmly.

Mokuba grinned and ducked his head. "Same goes for you," he mumbled.

"I hope so," Yami answered, his tone sucking the lightness out of the room.

"What?" Mokuba asked, instantly alert. "What's wrong? You can't possibly mean you'd ever set people on fire or put them in comas again."

"No! Of course not. It's just… I still get so angry."

Mokuba shrugged. "Who cares about that? It's not like getting angry is a big deal, anyway."

Yami smiled. The Kaiba brothers were more alike than most people suspected.

"Anyway, now that you're done checking out my school schedule, what are you doing here? You just left us this morning," Mokuba added.

"I had some free time," Yami said.

"And you wanted to spend it with my brother?" Mokuba asked, beaming at Yami.

"Yes."

"That's great!"

Yami smiled at Mokuba's wholehearted enthusiasm.

"Nisama got a new bunch of cards from Pegasus. He's probably testing them in his duel disk. I've been trying to leave him alone."

"New cards?"

"Yeah, he's right down the hall." But Mokuba was talking to an empty room. Yami had already rushed out. Mokuba smiled, shook his head and returned to studying the latest tournament plans.

Yami flung open the door to Kaiba's office before Tamashiro had quite finished nodding him in. He stopped just over the threshold. He'd expected monsters. What he'd gotten was the sight of Kaiba bending over the guts of a duel disk, delicately picking at something with a pair of pliers. Kaiba lay the pliers on the desktop and picked up a fine point screwdriver instead.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking on the internal support for the holographic generator. I was experimenting with using a lighter alloy," Kaiba replied without looking up. He put the screwdriver aside and latched the casing shut. His grunt sounded satisfied this time.

"You can fix a duel disk?"

Kaiba raised an eyebrow, and then rejected that gesture; it wasn't nearly dramatic enough to capture his emotions. Kaiba shook his hair off his forehead with a toss of his head and rolled his eyes for good measure. "Who do you think created the prototype in the first place?"

"I didn't. Think about it, I mean. You made your duel disk by hand?"

"Yours, too." Kaiba frowned. "I guess it's Yugi's now."

"You made a duel disk for Yugi?"

"No. I made one for you. Yugi's just the one who ended up with it."

"But I remember when we picked it up. It was in a box just like the others."

"I own the factory that manufactures them. You think I couldn't get a duel disk professionally packaged and shrink-wrapped?" The eyebrow went up again. It matched the smirk on his lips.

"It always felt so natural on my arm." Yami bit his lip. "But I can't ask Yugi to give it back."

"If you want, I'll make him another one. Then you can take back yours."

"No!" Yami paused. Before this moment, he would have sworn that he shared everything with Yugi. But the idea of Kaiba bending over his desk, making Yugi a duel disk with his own hands, was suddenly unacceptable.

Kaiba's smile flickered on at Yami's vehemence. "Fine. Pick up a new factory-made one on your way out. I'm sure Yugi will be okay with the substitution." Kaiba spoke into his lapel pin, giving the orders. "It'll be ready why you leave."

"Thank you." Yami smiled at the thought of reclaiming his duel disk. Yami glanced at Kaiba. He was running his finger over the joining on the casing, possibly checking for imperfections. Yami gestured towards the duel disk. "You like doing this don't you? And not just because it was your road to power and independence or even because of Mokuba." His voice was layered with a note of shyness; the question suddenly seemed as intimate as a kiss.

Kaiba looked up. "Yes." He could have left it at that, but Kaiba paused, ducked his head, and added, "I wouldn't say it's totally divorced from power though. Nothing is. Bringing an idea forward, making it into something you can hold in your hands, into something that exists… there's a power in that, too."

"It's a part of you isn't it?" Yami asked.

Kaiba nodded. Then he straightened and tossed his head again, shaking the bangs off his face, refusing to break eye contact. There was a bareness to his face. For once, Yami could believe Kaiba was younger than Yugi. Yami suddenly realized how much he loved that defiant gesture of Kaiba's, the way – whenever cornered – Kaiba would always chose to stare down anything, even his own emotions.

"Yes," Kaiba repeated. "It's all a part of me. But at least with this… it's the opposite of destruction." Kaiba picked a small stack of cards off the desk top. "And speaking of destruction, Pegasus sent his latest batch of cards."

"Mokuba told me," Yami said.

"I finished a draft version of the first set. Do you want to see them?"

"What do you think?"

Kaiba grinned. He put the duel disk on his arm and some four cards inside. He withdrew the first card and set it. A plane whooshed into life above them, blotting out the light from the windows. It was shaped like a stingray, flowing through the air as though diving through water, moving with the same sinuous grace.

It looked, as all duel monsters did by the time they left Pegasus and Kaiba's hands, alive: a sentient, mechanized bird of prey. Yami shivered. "It's beautiful and menacing all at once. It looks like it belongs in your deck."

"As the son of a bitch already knows, I don't need to add this card to my deck. That's where it came from in the first place."

"Who?"

"Pegasus. Who else?"

Yami looked up. The plane passed directly overhead, close enough for him to see the model designation stenciled on its underbelly. "KC/ST-1," he read. "Kaiba Corporation?"

Kaiba nodded.

"Then the ST…"

"Stands for Seto. It's a stealth bomber. I designed it. Gozaburo insisted on putting my initials on it. He wanted me to remember."

It was a shock to hear Kaiba use his given name. Yami wondered if Kaiba saw this plane every time he said it.

Yami looked at it as it hovered, lethal in its silence, above them. "The son of a bitch," he echoed.

"He started out with cards based on our more generic products – tanks, transports – nothing I'd ever touched. It seems Pegasus has graduated to more advanced head games."

Yami glanced up. The plane had resumed its silent, relentless trek. Kaiba was right, this plane was a part of him, its beauty stained in blood, the true sin lying in the misuse of the genius that had gone into its creation. Was this what Pegasus had wanted Kaiba to see? That this was the final thing he needed to accept? It was hard to tell with Pegasus.

Yami had been angry a minute ago, but now he was remembering all the signs, small as they'd been at times, that Pegasus had changed. Or maybe Yami just wanted to believe in change itself.

"What?" Kaiba demanded, noting Yami's thoughtful expression. "You can't tell me that you think Pegasus has turned over a new leaf. Even you can't be that naïve."

"I don't know. I'd like to think he has. Nothing is set in stone, and Pegasus least of all. If that's true for me, it must be true for him as well," Yami said, wondering why he was arguing.

"He hurt Mokuba!"

"So did I," Yami said quietly.

Kaiba's memory of the months between that first penalty game and Death-T were hazy. He'd never been quite able to parse out what had been true and what had been a nightmare. The monsters weren't real. Building a theme park of death was. Kaiba closed his eyes and frowned in concentration, trying to put the blurred events in their proper order.

"We were enemies," Kaiba said slowly. "Mokuba challenged you. He should never have been there in the first place. I should have set a better example. Instead I told him he was worthless; I thought he was a threat." Kaiba shook his head. He drew in a breath. "But you never came over my house, ruffled Mokuba's hair and told him how smart he was. You never gave him games from all over the world. You never pretended to be anything but an enemy. I can respect an enemy. Besides, you saved Mokuba. Twice. Did you think I'd forget?"

Yami smiled. If it wasn't quite forgiveness, it was close enough. "Sometimes I'm the one in danger of forgetting that even at my most wrathful, I managed to save as well as harm."

Kaiba grunted and put in the next card. Yami stared at it, puzzled. A round, flat disk scurried by. "Your earliest duel disk?" he asked, remembering the Frisbee shaped item from Duelists Kingdom.

"It's a land mine," Kaiba answered.

"It's moving."

"Yes. That was my contribution to the technology. It doesn't have to be placed. It can move and plant itself in the earth, then dig itself out and head for a new location."

Yami stared at it. It still looked like a toy. Kaiba slipped Ryu-Kishin into place. He was the first monster Kaiba had ever played against Yami, back in that initial penalty game. They had watched him come to life together. But Kaiba's deck had grown since then. Now, Yami could see the gargoyle for what he was: a sacrifice. Ryu-Kishin stumbled forward. When the monster stepped on the land mine, the entire room exploded in fire. Yami closed his eyes and flung up a hand to protect himself, before remembering it was just an illusion. When he opened them, Kaiba's office was clear of holograms. Yami stared at the spot where the land mine had been, horrified.

"That's it. It's the third time Pegasus has done this, stuck in a couple of random cards of Kaiba Corporation weapons. He's never included more than two. This time he put in a couple of support cards for dragons as if I'm a child that needs to be pacified. Even Gozaburo didn't pull that shit with me."

"Gozaburo?"

Kaiba pressed his lips together and shrugged. He didn't want to talk about Gozaburo. After he died, Kaiba had sworn he'd never do anything at anyone else's bidding again. In a way he'd kept that promise. He'd weighed telling Pegasus where to stick his cards and decided it wasn't worth it. It had been his decision. But that wasn't the whole truth.

Yami, as usual, immediately put his finger on the barely healed scab that Kaiba had been trying to hide. "Don't you have a say in what you make into holograms?"

Kaiba did, of course. It was one of the first things he'd insisted on after Duelists Kingdom. "I have no intention of refusing."

Yami nodded. "I see." Refusing would have meant admitting to Pegasus that it bothered him and Kaiba would never do that.

Kaiba shifted uncomfortably. He wasn't sure that he wanted Yami to understand… and yet there was something so damnably seductive about being understood.

"Have you completed any others?" Yami asked.

Kaiba nodded. His quick grin flashed and vanished. "You'll like the next one."

A young boy, barely older than Mokuba. appeared in front of them. He was wearing a magician's robes, but they were thrown over a baseball shirt and a pair of sweatpants; a backwards cap was on his head. He was such a mixture of arcane robes and modern clothes that Yami couldn't help but smile. The youth stepped back, dropped into a pitcher's stance, wound up, and threw an energy ball straight at them. This time Yami was prepared for the flare. The boy flashed as cocky a grin as Yami had ever shown, tipped his baseball cap and vanished.

Kaiba took out the card and handed it to Yami. He read the title, "Spellcaster's Friend." It showed the same boy, his arm pulled back at the moment of releasing his energy ball. It was beautiful but static, a moment sealed in time, just as the boy himself was caught between childhood and adolescence. For the first time, Yami understood Kaiba and Pegasus' collaboration. Pegasus had captured everything from the pitcher's grace to his cheeky grin and sealed it in a card. But only Kaiba could make him move, could truly bring him to life. "You imagined all that from this one picture," Yami said.

Kaiba grinned. "That's what I do. I told you, there's a power in creation, in moving forward."

Yami nodded. "Thank you for showing me."

"I'm not done yet."

Kaiba sat on the edge of his desk. Yami sat next to him, leaning his head against Kaiba's arm, his legs dangling slightly off the ground. Kaiba's lips twitched, but he didn't make another short joke – possibly his quota was one per day, and he'd already used his up that morning. Instead Kaiba shifted slightly so that Yami was leaning against his side; Kaiba's free arm was around Yami's shoulders. Yami leaned over to move cards in and out of the duel disk. When they finished with the new ones Kaiba had created, they shuffled some of their favorites in and out of his disk and watched them swim or fly or run around the room.

It wasn't, Yami supposed, a date. But it was nice. And he was sorry when he saw the afternoon sun through the window and realized it was time to head out.

"I have to leave soon," Yami said regretfully.

"You weren't planning on coming over for the night?"

"I have to work. But I can stay over tomorrow."

Kaiba's eyebrows drew together in concentration. His head tilted slightly to the side. "Then why stop by today?"

Yami sighed. He couldn't tell Kaiba he'd been worried when he'd left him in the morning, that Kaiba had seemed bothered, that Kaiba's feelings mattered. Yami bit his lip, then settled for a simpler truth. "I wanted to see you." He kissed Kaiba lightly on the lips and left.

Kaiba frowned at the closed door. He went back to his chair. He leaned his elbows on his desk, steepled his fingers and rested his chin on them. Kaiba had thought he'd understood their relationship. Whatever confidences they exchanged in the night had never applied in the daylight, before. What did this new wild card mean?

They'd barely kissed, he'd bitched about Pegasus, they'd spent the last half hour in near silence. Yami had said he wanted to see Kaiba, even though it wasn't night and he wasn't looking for sex. It had been… nice.

Yami was intimacy. Yami was vulnerability. Kaiba wasn't supposed to crave either. But Yami was also a virus running through his system, infecting everything it touched. Every morning Kaiba swore to purge Yami from his body, but every time he saw him, even today when they'd barely touched, he wound up surrendering.

The knock on his door sounded sharp as a pistol shot. Kaiba looked up as Mokuba entered the room.

"He's back with his friends but we're still seeing a lot of him," Mokuba said. He kept his impossibly over-large eyes fixed hopefully on his brother and waited.

Kaiba got up from his desk and came around to lean against its front, stalling for time. He stared at his brother and tried to decide on an answer. He knew what Mokuba wanted him to say. It might even have been the truth. But how many times had Mokuba thought everything was going to be better only to end up disappointed instead? Kaiba glanced at his duel disk. Mokuba had thought Pegasus was a friend, too. He'd taught Mokuba to play Capmon. Yami wasn't anything like Pegasus. Kaiba would stake his life on that.

But he couldn't stake Mokuba's peace of mind.

And while Yami would never betray him, that didn't mean he wouldn't leave someday when this whole unstable mess came crashing down around them. Kaiba pressed his lips together. He'd made his decision. Even at the orphanage, Kaiba had never let Mokuba believe in fairy tales. He'd carefully picked each one apart so Mokuba could see where the falsehoods lay in wait, could recognize and avoid each trap. He wasn't about to change that policy. But he'd never felt worse while doing it, as now… when he wanted to believe along with his brother.

"It's rivalry with a bit of sex thrown in to sweeten the pot. It's not love, most of the time I don't even think it's friendship, not that I know enough about that to make a guess." After all, Kaiba thought, that was true, too. And despite what hundreds of cop shows taught, nothing was ever the truth, the whole truth and nothing else.

"Are you sure, Nisama?" Mokuba was still looking hopeful.

Kaiba nodded. "I asked. All either of us cares about after each encounter is a chance to even the score."

"You mean you asked Yami if he gave a damn and he said 'NO?'" Mokuba said, his voice rising to a shout on the last word. His face flushed with anger.

Kaiba hated seeing Mokuba upset. It was worse when he couldn't see any reason for his brother to get so worked up. Things were easier when it was a game. Games were something he could handle.

Kaiba shrugged. "I told Yami I knew it was just a game. He didn't argue back."

Mokuba shook his head. A moment ago his eyes had been flashing fire, now they were troubled. "That's not the same thing at all, Nisama."

Kaiba went back to his desk, took his cards out of the duel disk and re-sorted them. He couldn't bring himself to agree with Mokuba, not out loud, that would make it too real. But suddenly, Kaiba didn't have the energy to argue, either. This was one time when he'd rather be confused than right.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

**ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: ** One of the hardest things about writing an engineering genius is doing it while not knowing anything about engineering myself - even how to take apart a duel disk or what might be under it, much less what kind of weapons Kaiba might have designed or how they work. This is my long-winded way of thanking SplinteredStar for helping me out.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** There really is a comic book character called, "Arm Fall Off Boy." He appeared in DC's Secret Origins Vol 2 #46. 1989 and for some reason, did not go on to become a famous superhero.

I was re-watching the duel between Amelda and Kaiba, and when Amelda plays tank cars that have the KC logo on them, it struck me for the first time that if there were holograms of the cards, Pegasus had to design them knowing that Kaiba (or his corporation) would be the ones bringing them to life, so to speak. I couldn't help but wonder why Pegasus had selected those particular images instead of a generic tank – whether his intent was generous or malicious, and especially, how Kaiba felt designing holograms that had to remind him of his part in creating weapons.

I also kind of liked the idea that everyone keeps thinking that their friends should go out with the people they themselves want – so you have Yugi thinking that Yami needs to find someone like Anzu and a relationship like the one he wants, and now Jounouchi thinks Yugi should want someone more like Mai. Luckily, Yugi had the sense to recognize that since he's not Jounouchi, he won't want the same things or the same person. However, he's not applying it to his own behavior with Yami.

And I couldn't resist the idea of Kaiba making a duel disk for Yami by hand!

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal at .com.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you and your comments help me figure out what's missing, what's working and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review.**_


	18. People Will Talk

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 18: PEOPLE WILL TALK**

PEOPLE WILL TALK: Romantic Comedy, circa 1951. Cary Grant charms his way through this movie as easily as his character, Dr. Noah Praetorius, glides through the plot's complicated minefield of 1950s narrow-minded morality and social taboos.

_MORAL: Even in a romantic comedy, doubts, secrets and a total lack of communication lead to tears as often as laughter._

* * *

Yugi had explained it twice, but Yami still wasn't sure why Yugi had decided to go shopping.

"What's wrong with your clothes? I like them," Yami asked for the third time when he met Yugi in downtown Domino after his partner had finished school for the day.

"I need something for tomorrow," Yugi repeated patiently. "I can't wear my school uniform on a date, can I?"

"Why not? You wear it everywhere else." Yami shook his head. Why did everyone keep talking about clothes? Kaiba had noted – and criticized Yami – for wearing Yugi's clothes. Now Yugi wanted something different. "And you do have other pants – like the ones you wear when we duel."

"I'm not wearing leather pants to the ballet! I want something special. Something new."

They entered the store. The items displayed were not nearly as casual as the collection of T-shirts and sweatshirts Yami was used to seeing… if not quite as formal – or as theatrical – as the over-long coats Kaiba favored. Yugi pulled out a cotton button down shirt. It was white with dark purple stripes. "How about this?"

"The stripes match your eyes," Yami observed.

"That's a good thing, right?" Yugi said. He took off his uniform jacket, buttoned the shirt over his T-shirt and looked in the mirror. "I like it."

Yugi took the shirt off again and headed for the back of the store. He paused at the jeans section, then moved resolutely towards the dress slacks. He picked out a pair of straight-leg black pants and hunted for his size. They weren't made of denim, but the heavy cotton wasn't that far in look or weight. Yami followed, wondering how Yugi seemed able to zero in so decisively on what he wanted. Yugi held them next to the shirt. "Pretty cool, huh?" Yugi glanced around and spotted a lavender gray suit vest. He put it on top of the other items. "Not bad for my first try! Maybe I have a knack for this!"

Yami followed Yugi to the cash register. He avoided answering. Yugi had looked less like Yugi in his new clothes. And Yami couldn't imagine ever wearing the shirt or vest Yugi had just picked out. He realized with a shock that Yugi's tastes no longer matched his. Yami frowned at the clothes as the cashier put them in a bag. Something as soft as a shirt had become a barrier between them where none had existed before… as if it had turned into a gate that had just swung shut, leaving Yami on the other side.

Yami was silent as they walked home. The outing had been both frustrating and confusing – and he wasn't used to being either around Yugi. Up until today, that had always been Kaiba's domain.

Yugi and Yami said goodbye at the door. Yami hugged Yugi tightly, needing to hang on for a moment before they parted. Yugi ran upstairs whistling, already thinking about Saturday. Yami headed off to Kaiba Corporation.

Yami arrived before closing time. Isono was waiting for the elevator as he walked through the lobby. They rode up together. Tamashiro smiled at Yami and Isono as they got off the elevator and headed for her desk. She buzzed Kaiba to tell him that Yami had arrived. Isono handed her a sheaf of papers. Yami could see the Domino City seal on the top one.

"Permits," Isono said briefly in explanation.

Tamashiro nodded as she took the papers. She turned to Yami and said, "You can go in. He knows you're here."

Yami nodded. He paused before walking past. Tamashiro was a kind person underneath her business facade. And she was a woman. Presumably she knew more about dating than either he or Yugi did. "Do you need new clothes to go on a date?" he blurted out.

Tamashiro's face split in a broad grin. "You have a date? Who's the lucky girl?"

Yami's eyes widened until he could have been mistaken for Yugi. Next to him, Isono stiffened and swiveled to stare at him, but Yami didn't notice in his rush to correct Tamashiro. "Me? No! It's a friend… with the girl, I mean."

"Is it his first date?" Tamashiro asked.

"Yes! And they're perfect for each other!"

"Mr. Mutou and Ms. Mazaki?" Isono surprised him by asking.

"Anzu and Yugi, yes. He finally asked her and she agreed! I knew she would. You should have seen Yugi's face when he told me. I've never seen him look so happy."

"And he's dressing up to impress her? That's so sweet!" Tamashiro said. "Don't worry. I'm sure she'll be charmed that he took so much effort, even if he picked out something awful." She grinned. "Especially if she's the perfect girl for him."

"She is. She'd be ready to fight anyone who criticized Yugi's taste even if she didn't like it herself," Yami said.

"Ms. Mazaki is very loyal," Isono agreed.

"But Yugi looked great. He did, really… just different… older, I guess."

"Aaaaah…" Tamashiro said. "You're very close friends, aren't you?"

"We're cousins," Yami answered, remembering the complicated genealogy that Kaiba had provided.

"Family is forever," Tamashiro reminded him.

Yami flashed her a smile as he moved past her desk to Kaiba's office.

Tamashiro turned to Isono. "Boys get so funny when their friends start dating. My son was the same way. It took him a while to get used to it, and now he's going out with a nice girl of his own." She chuckled. "Yami's a bit naïve though, isn't he? It's cute. Imagine not knowing how to dress for a date! It's a good thing he has his cousin to give him pointers on girls when he's finally ready." She chuckled again and went back to work. Isono bowed and escaped, thankful to make it into the elevator before his shoulders started to shake with suppressed laughter.

Kaiba was staring at his computer when Yami walked in the door. His face was set in grim lines, even for him. "Is everything alright?" Yami asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Kaiba shot back.

Yami shook his head. Kaiba was in a navy coat, threaded with bright blue strands. Under it, he had a black button-down shirt with matching pants. It was hard to tell since he was sitting down, but Yami guessed that when he was standing, the coat would reach to the bottom of his calves. Yami breathed a sigh of relief. Kaiba looked the same as always. Even his grumpiness was familiar.

"I left Yugi. He's going on a date tomorrow," Yami said.

Kaiba grunted. He wasn't sure how to respond. Yugi had helped Mokuba. Kaiba respected him. Yugi wasn't an enemy or even an inconvenience. He didn't fit into any category Kaiba recognized. Kaiba fell back on his lessons in standard business etiquette. "That's nice, I guess," he said.

Yami rolled his eyes and smirked. "Is that the best you can do?"

Kaiba tried again. "I assume he's going out with the brunette… Mazaki?"

Yami nodded. "Anzu, yes."

Kaiba grunted again. She'd helped Mokuba. His brother liked her. That put Anzu, along with Yugi, on the very short list of people Kaiba could tolerate. "She's not much of a duelist," Kaiba observed.

"Yes she is! She's brave and loyal. She's a fighter. She's a duelist all right. Cards just aren't her weapon of choice."

Kaiba shrugged in place of an answer.

"Yugi went shopping. He bought a new shirt and vest."

"So you may be getting a new wardrobe after all, if only by default?" Kaiba asked.

"No! It's his, not mine. I wouldn't feel comfortable in it."

"I suppose that's one way to separate from him – to stand still while the world moves on," Kaiba observed.

"I'm tired of talking about clothes," Yami said abruptly.

"Oh? Is that what we've been talking about?" Kaiba said with a smirk.

Yami grinned, but didn't take the bait. He looked at Kaiba's desk, wondering how he'd missed noticing: the top was covered with electronic maps and designs shining at him from within the surface of the desk itself. "Your desk… it looks like a computer screen!"

Kaiba grinned. "The desktop is a UI display screen. I customized it."

Yami looked more closely. He could see the designs from yesterday. He pointed to the schematics of the land mine duel monster. "More work on turning Pegasus' new monsters into holograms?" he asked.

"No," Kaiba said.

Yami looked at the drawings, then at Kaiba's face, which was even less revealing than usual. He waited.

"It's the design for that land mine. The real one."

"Why? Kaiba, what's going on? What's wrong?" Yami asked.

Kaiba drew in a breath. He kept doing this – baiting a trap for himself and then walking into it with his eyes wide open. He didn't know why he carefully set up each moment to force a new admission... or how to stop. Kaiba reviewed the facts while Yami stood there, unable to look away from those blood-red eyes. Kaiba had known Yami was outside his office. He'd been warned, he'd had plenty of time. He could have closed or minimized the maps and diagrams on his desk, he could have turned the screen dark, he could have activated the privacy setting. Kaiba hadn't done any of those things. He'd deliberately left the evidence on his desk, knowing Yami would ask. Knowing that Yami would wait – no matter how long it took – for Kaiba to answer.

Kaiba loved the rush, the jolt of pure adrenaline that raced through his system with each new confession. Until it was over. Then Kaiba felt emptier than ever... bereft of even his own isolation, forced outside the barrier that held back the world, stranded with only the echoes of Gozaburo's mocking laughter for company. And Kaiba could no longer tell if he was daring Yami to leave with each new confession... or if he was hoping against hope that Yami would chose to stay.

Yami looked from the maps to the diagrams. "You're trying to find them," Yami said. It wasn't a question.

Kaiba exhaled. "Finding them isn't the problem. They get found when a kid kicks a soccer ball just a little too far into a rubble strewn field and then runs in to retrieve it. It's finding them _first_ that's the difficulty."

"That's what you were working on when I came in that day… it was weeks ago, now. You said you were 'killing time.'"

Kaiba glared at him. "I don't remember."

"Sure you do. You had the same look on your face."

As if in response, all the emotion wiped itself from Kaiba's face until all that remained was Kaiba's usual, slightly challenging, slightly bored stare.

"It's okay," Yami said.

"Nothing about this situation is remotely 'okay,'" Kaiba responded, enunciating each word carefully.

"No, I meant it's okay to be horrified or guilty or any of those other emotions you refuse to let anyone see. It's okay to let it show, at least to me."

"Gozaburo wouldn't have agreed with you," Kaiba said, turning his attention back to his desktop.

"You're not Gozaburo. His answers aren't yours. Aren't you proving that right here?" Yami said, gesturing towards the tablet-surface of Kaiba's desk.

"There are tens of thousands of people who would disagree with you. Oh, right, they can't. They happen to be dead. So, you want to tell me again how different I am?"

"I can think of one way: you accept the consequences of your actions. Sometimes all too well."

Kaiba grunted.

Yami pointed to the designs blinking blue on the desktop. "What are you looking for?"

"The landmines were programmed so that they could be turned on and off remotely and given directions to move. The owner was given the access codes. I put in my own over-ride that could supercede any other access including the owner's. It had to be subtle and dormant or Gozaburo would have found it," Kaiba said.

"Did he?" Yami asked, afraid of the answer.

"I don't know. I assume he didn't since I was never punished for it. Gozaburo could be a subtle bastard, though. It would have been a great head game, one he would have enjoyed... taking the over-ride out and not telling me, just so that even if I won our game I'd spend my life searching in vain for a way to fix this." Kaiba's harsh laugh rang out.

"What are you going to do?" Yami asked.

"Figure out a way to find them and activate the over-ride so they can be disarmed."

"You don't know how to do that?"

"No. I don't even know where they are. The location sensors were tied to the owner's access. I just put in the capacity to take control if I could find them, but it's only usable at close range. I embedded it the mines' navigation sensors – anything else would have been too noticeable. Gozaburo was a suspicious bastard. I couldn't risk it. It was a long shot. I knew that, but it was all I had."

Yami smiled. "As bleak as those days were, you had something else, even if you don't recognize it. You had hope."

Kaiba glared at him. "I was desperate."

It might have been the most naked look Yami had ever seen on Kaiba's face – and that included the times when they'd been making love. Yami stared at him, entranced.

"Sometimes they're the same thing," Yami said.

Yami came over to Kaiba. Kaiba swiveled in his chair. Yami leaned down and kissed him. He settled into Kaiba's lap and wrapped his arms around Kaiba. Yami leaned his head against Kaiba's shoulder. They sat there for a while. Yami feathered light kisses along Kaiba's jaw. "It's okay to have hope, Kaiba. No one can look to the future as hard as you do, without picking up a hope or two along the way."

Kaiba relaxed against Yami. Yami's touch was softened by two layers of clothes as he stroked Kaiba's back. It was like being bathed in sunlight… gentle, unintrusive. Kaiba would have protested that he didn't need to be held, but he could no longer deny that he wanted it. He'd spent so much time today fighting his unwinnable battles. Now at day's end, he was too worn to do anything but lean into Yami's caresses and his words.

Both Mokuba and Yami kept saying things he had no answer for and even less desire to argue. Kaiba couldn't come up with a reason to move until his phone buzzed. He turned it off and said, "Mokuba went home with a friend after school. It's time to pick him up."

Yami got up reluctantly and followed Kaiba out the door. He smiled to see the blue gray car again. It was Kaiba's favorite. Yami wondered if Kaiba saved it for the days when they met.

The evening was quiet as the evenings at Kaiba's so often were. They had dinner, they watched a movie, Mokuba went to bed. And then they were alone again in Kaiba's bedroom.

Yami thought back to the evening, to what had remained unsaid among the casual chatter. "You didn't tell Mokuba about searching for those weapons today – or how it makes you feel."

Kaiba shook his head. "Mokuba gets upset. He asked me to stop once, when he was eleven. But I couldn't, even for him." Kaiba frowned and ran his hand through his hair. It flopped back into place instantly, shielding his eyes. "He'd help now, but watching me try to undo all of this as far as I can, knowing nothing I do will ever set it right, makes him unhappy. He's seen me defeated before. He doesn't need to witness another failure. I've dragged him into too much already. This one is on me."

Yami shook his head. He was unsurprised by Kaiba's answer. "You don't have to do this alone, though."

Kaiba stared at Yami, eyes wide open, the way they were in all his defeats. He'd just realized: this afternoon he hadn't been alone. Yami had been with him.

Kaiba yanked Yami closer, the softness of his kiss belying the roughness of that action. "I can think of other things that are done better when you're not alone." He kissed Yami again, noting the way Yami's arms came up to caress his back, hands under his shirt. The touch was more direct, but its gentleness reminded Kaiba of the way Yami had held onto him earlier… the way Yami had ignored Kaiba's failure to find the weapons he'd perfected even when that defeat had shone from his desktop like a warning beacon. "I keep expecting the next revelation to be the one that makes you leave," Kaiba murmured.

Yami pushed back, shoving some distance between them. "I told you once: I will not permit you to treat me as anything less than a respected rival. In doing so you insult yourself as well. Do you really believe me that shallow and fickle? Do you think I'd discard you so easily?"

"It's not about belief," Kaiba said. "What I believe about you… faithless is the last word I'd use."

"What is it about, then?"

"I don't know anymore." Kaiba leaned down to kiss him again, still with that same odd gentleness. He pulled Yami back into his embrace.

Yami allowed the retreat. He'd recognized that stunned look on Kaiba's face and Yami didn't want Kaiba's hesitant steps towards sharing something of himself – even his pain and doubt – to feel like another loss. And Yami was learning to recognize those times when Kaiba needed to let his body do the talking, when he needed to let touch replace the words he couldn't bring himself to say, the thoughts he couldn't bring himself voice, even to himself.

Kaiba lifted his head and stared at Yami for a slow stunned moment. He'd expected an argument or at least a taunt. But Yami was staring at him, his expression, for once, undecipherable. Kaiba dropped his head and brought his lips back to Yami's, slowly deepening his kiss as Yami responded.

They moved in unison towards the bed, leaving their clothes behind like a trail of breadcrumbs. Kaiba left his underwear on and with an unspoken accord, Yami did the same. Kaiba couldn't have said why he pulled Yami into his arms but made no further move. What had he brought Yami home and up to his bed for if not a repeat of their earlier encounters? He certainly didn't desire Yami any the less… if anything his need for Yami was greater. So why was he content to lie here holding on to Yami as if that was a goal in and of itself? Why was it so unexpectedly satisfying, as if his body knew something that he didn't?

Yami snuggled against Kaiba's chest. His hands came up to caress Kaiba's cheek before embracing him. Yami wanted Kaiba's body. That hadn't changed; Yami was coming to realize that it never would. And yet, at this moment, Yami wanted to hold onto this sense of companionship even more. It wasn't as simple as Yugi's definition of love. And serenity was the last word Yami would have associated with Kaiba, but here in Kaiba's arms, Yami felt at peace.

Kaiba lay in bed, waiting for Yami to make his move, waiting for his rival to take advantage of what Kaiba could only term his momentary weakness. Instead Yami relaxed against him, seemingly content to lie on Kaiba's chest and listen to Kaiba's heartbeat. The only movement Yami made was to stroke Kaiba's arms or smooth his shoulders when Kaiba's thoughts made him tense up involuntarily. Kaiba bit his lip as he tried to puzzle it out, setting off another wave of caresses.

Everything was a game. Yami had just ended his turn, without playing a single card. It was up to Kaiba to get this night back on track. Yami had come here for sex and it was time for Kaiba to live up to his end of the bargain. But something in the stillness of the room, in the way Yami fit so compliantly into his arms, gave Kaiba the time to think. He remembered their tag team duels. They had been games too, and like all games, they'd carried their own message. In the first one, against the Big 5, Yami had shouted instructions at him. In their second, at Battle City, Yami had waited for Kaiba to decide their next move. By their third, Yami had listened. He was waiting and listening now, even though Kaiba had nothing but silence to share. And in doing so, Yami had given Kaiba back a measure of control. Kaiba knew what was expected of him. But he now also knew what he wanted: to lay quietly in their shared bed until Yami's caresses lulled him to sleep.

But if there was one thing Kaiba had learned, it was that healing potions only existed in games. He knew that the night wasn't meant to end with hugs and soft words. The room was dark but Kaiba could see clearly. Kaiba wasn't sure where he was at first. He wasn't in bed even though he was still lying down. The metal table was cold against his naked back. He started to sit up but instinct kept him still. He glanced out of the corner of his eye to the right, trying to move his head as little as possible.

The tables stretched out in ordered rows, seemingly endless. He looked at the bodies… the scorch marks, the missing or tangled parts. They were war victims. His victims.

"I knew it wouldn't take you long to figure it out, boy."

Kaiba whipped his head around, ignoring the endless trail of bodies on the right to focus on the one corpse that had spoken to his left.

Gozaburo was still in the suit he'd been wearing when he'd leapt to his death. It seemed to be holding his torso together. His arms, legs and spine were all bent at impossible angles. His head was oddly flattened; Kaiba could barely recognize his adoptive father. The shattered jaw shouldn't have been able to form words.

"You look just like your autopsy pictures," Kaiba said.

"So will you, boy. They're waiting for you."

"I know." Then Kaiba mumbled something he never would have said if it hadn't been a dream. "You did all this."

"Yes, boy. But I couldn't have done it without you. They're going to kill you, now."

Kaiba managed a nod. The corpses were starting to wake, starting to move. It wouldn't take them long. He'd be overwhelmed by their lust for revenge or simply by their urge for mindless destruction. It had happened before.

Kaiba sat up suddenly, gasping for breath. The hard metal table was gone. He was back in bed. A fall breeze was wafting in through the open window. His bare arms and chest were sticky with cooling sweat. He clenched the blankets, trying to control the shudders that had seized his body. He fought a sudden urge to vomit.

"Kaiba! Are you alright?"

He'd been so caught up in the aftermath of his nightmare, he'd almost forgotten that Yami was sleeping beside him. Now, as Yami's arms wrapped themselves around his torso, he was grateful for their warmth.

"A nightmare?" Yami asked, his voice muffled as he leaned his head against Kaiba's back.

"It's nothing I haven't earned."

Yami pressed his lips tightly together, remembering the look on Kaiba's face when he'd talked about designing weapons. "You're doing everything you can to set things right."

"So what? It's too late for them!" Kaiba yelled, sweeping his arm outward as if the dead were still in the room with them.

"There's no one here but us, Kaiba."

"Don't kid yourself. They're here. When I close my eyes I see them. You're the one always making some self-righteous speech about justice. Well, what's just or fair about you coddling me while I sit here comfy and safe in my bed? You should be on their side, not mine! I killed thousands and all it took was a flick of a computer stylus."

Before he could stop himself, Yami peered around Kaiba's back, staring at the computer screen on Kaiba's desk as if the weapons plans would be flashing in the dark.

Kaiba laughed. "Don't bother looking for the computer I used as though it was a co-conspirator. It's long gone." He laughed again as Yami nodded. "Oh, it wasn't some grand gesture of repudiation. What would be the point of that? It was out of date. I junked it and got a new one."

"I don't believe designing weapons was something you did easily or casually. Why did you do it?"

"Because I could," Kaiba said with a smirk.

Yami reached up to Kaiba's shoulders, turned him so they were face to face. He shook Kaiba. "Why did you do it?"

Kaiba looked Yami straight in the eye and said, "For the money and power, of course. It's who I am."

"Kaiba, please… tell me."

Kaiba hung his head, defeated by the implacable gentleness in Yami's voice. "Because I _was_ a Kaiba. Gozaburo needed an heir. And, as the bastard reminded me, I'd brought a spare into the house with me. Gozaburo was probably bluffing. He never paid any attention to Mokuba. I wasn't willing to risk it. I'd rather kill the whole planet than see Mokuba hurt. You still want to comfort me like I'm some lost little innocent and tell me it's all going to be okay?"

"I'm not saying you should ever forget, just that there's more to you than that. I respect you, Kaiba, and I don't want to see you suffer. Making amends is a sacred obligation, and you haven't shirked that task. But hating yourself every step of the way helps no one, not even the dead. Don't ask me to join in."

Kaiba shivered as if he was still in the grip of his dream. Yami wrapped his arms tighter and Kaiba suddenly realized that the other man had never let go. Kaiba drew in deep, gulping breaths. Yami moved on the bed to lean more closely against him, until the warmth of his body started to seep into his rival's, until Kaiba's breathing returned to its normal rhythm.

"I never dreamed…" Yami said. "... not all the time I was in the Puzzle, not after Yugi assembled it. Then, when we came back from Egypt… I guess I needed a body to have nightmares. I thought I was awake. All I could see was endless darkness, as if I'd been sealed back in the Puzzle, but this time I was aware of the passage of time. I knew I was destined to be trapped inside for all eternity."

Something inside of Kaiba eased at Yami's admission, although he was no closer to understanding why Yami would offer his weakness to Kaiba – or why he kept doing it. Automatically, Kaiba reached out and wrapped his arms around Yami. One hand came up to tangle in that spiky tri-colored hair.

"Then I woke up," Yami continued. "I had to go stand over Yugi's bed before I could convince myself that he was real and the empty darkness was the illusion."

Kaiba's grip tightened in anger this time; he was suddenly, irrationally furious that Yami had looked for Yugi, not him. "If it happens again when you're here, you can just reach out. You don't even have to get out of bed." The words came out more earnestly than he'd intended. Kaiba was glad that Yami's head was down, that it was still curled into his chest; Yami couldn't see Kaiba's face that way.

"Thank you. I haven't had that dream since then. I'm hoping it's gone for good." Yami settled his head more comfortably against Kaiba's shoulder and added, "When I started dreaming, I'd hoped to see my family. I don't remember my father."

Kaiba grunted. It was as noncommittal a sound as he was capable of making.

"He was dead by the time I entered the Memory World. I never got to meet him. All I have are other people's memories – and the image of his body being unwrapped and thrown naked in my halls."

Kaiba snorted, glad he had something to argue. "Fathers are over-rated."

Yami chuckled. "Names… fathers… a lot of things are over-rated according to you."

"Yes."

"Is there anything that isn't?"

It was Kaiba's turn to fall silent. This peaceful calm… waking up from a nightmare to find a warm body against your back… that was a haven of sorts. And it wasn't over-rated at all.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and helping me get Yugi dressed properly!**_

**ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: ** This is the second chapter where Kaiba had too sound like an engineer, and once again I have to thank SplinteredStar for helping me figure out (within the context of Yu-Gi-Oh!'s admittedly low standard for matching reality) how murderous roombas might work and what would need to happen so they couldn't be easily tracked – not to mention help with Kaiba's desk, seeing as he set fire to his old one.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Clothes seem to be turning into a running motif in this story. But I can see Yami focusing on them as a symbol of how he is – or isn't – adapting to being his own person, and now clothes are getting added weight as a sign of his separation from Yugi, something he's having trouble acknowledging to begin with.

Kaiba glories and gloats about power so much and so often, it's easy to forget that the two things that set him on this path were his need to protect his brother and his determination not to have his designs used to kill. And I adore the stoicism with which he faces up to his obligations.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal at .com.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) Your comments help me figure out what's missing, what's working and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review. **_


	19. Holiday

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

**MANGA NOTE:** The early encounters between both Kaiba brothers and Yami no Yugi are nothing short of disastrous. Kaiba steals the Blue Eyes White Dragon from Yugi. When he refuses to return it, Yami no Yugi challenges him to a penalty game. Kaiba loses and undergoes the promised "experience of death" of being ripped apart and killed by duel monsters. He re-experiences this every night. Mokuba, who is leading a squad of Taser-wielding elementary school kids, challenges Yami no Yugi to a duel of his own, also undergoing a penalty game when he loses.

Mokuba follows this up by trying to poison Yami no Yugi and Jounouchi in a weird game for poisoned food roulette. Kaiba builds Death-T to avenge his loss and in an attempt to make his nightmares stop. When Mokuba challenges Yugi against his orders and insists on being part of Death-T, Kaiba misreads Mokuba's show of loyalty as a sign that Mokuba is planning on challenging him, and when Mokuba loses his match with Yami, Kaiba forces him to undergo the Death Simulation chamber. Mokuba is rescued by Yami, who goes on to beat Kaiba and shatter his heart in a penalty game, giving him the chance (and forcing him if he wants to recover) to rebuild it without the darkness that has consumed it.

* * *

**CHAPTER 19: HOLIDAY**

HOLIDAY: Screwball comedy, circa 1938. A young Cary Grant stars as Johnny Case, a financial wizard who's nearing his goal of earning enough money to quit his job for the more important one of figuring out his future path. His newly acquired fiancée, heiress Julia Seton, thinks he should forget about all this meaning of life nonsense and get his nose back to the grindstone. (Depression era audiences largely agreed with her.) Katherine Hepburn rounds out the cast as Linda Seton, the eccentric sister, whose quirkiness consists of believing, along with Johnny, that happiness is important.

_MORAL: Until you know who you are, it's hard to tell who you want._

* * *

Yami sat up in bed the next morning and stared at Kaiba. Kaiba was already dressed for work. Yami expected Kaiba to be curt – if not openly hostile. Telling Kaiba that he respected him had never worked out very well. Trying to tell Kaiba that he cared was likely to be even more fraught with difficulties. But the morning rushed by too quickly for words.

And Kaiba hadn't been hostile. He hadn't ranted or yelled or shoved Yami away. Instead, Kaiba had woken Yami up before he'd left for work. He'd reminded Yami that it was Saturday and promised to come back by noon. Kaiba hadn't mentioned the night before. He'd been cordial, but businesslike, as if they were two strangers that had happened to wake up in the same bed and were anxious to get the awkward formalities over with so they could go about their daily lives. Somehow, it increased the distance between them more than a fight would have done.

Yami dropped his head on the pillow after Kaiba left and went back to sleep. He woke up a couple of hours later, put on his clothes and went to find Mokuba.

Mokuba was scribbling down the last of his homework when Yami entered the game room.

"Almost done!" he greeted Yami.

Yami smiled. It was a half-hearted attempt.

Mokuba looked at Yami for a moment. Mokuba's eyes narrowed in speculation. "My brother seemed bothered last night. He usually only looks like that about _old_ Kaiba Corporation business."

For the first time Yami understood why Kaiba grunted in response so often. It was certainly more non-committal than actual words. And Kaiba had made it clear how he felt about informing Mokuba of his activities.

Mokuba tilted his head to the side and considered the implications of Yami's non-answer. He knew far better than Yami all the different ways his brother had found to get out of communicating. Last night, Kaiba had simply avoided talking. But his face had been a little too carefully blank. Now Yami's matched it for blandness. Since Yami was still here, whatever was eating his brother couldn't have anything to do with him. Therefore, Mokuba's guess had been right: this concerned Gozaburo's corporation, not the one his brother had rebuilt. And Yami was obviously intent on keeping his brother's confidences.

On the whole, Mokuba approved. His Nisama trusted so few people. Mokuba could only imagine his reaction if he found out that Yami had blabbed something he'd told him in private. And, in a way, it was a sign of how much Yami respected his brother. It was inconvenient, but Mokuba figured he had more practice worming answers out of people than Yami had at avoiding it.

"He usually has nightmares afterwards… especially if Kaiba Corporation weapons are involved." Mokuba noted Yami's start of surprise with satisfaction, then turned his head slightly to the side. "You don't have to worry. That's hardly a secret."

Yami's shoulders relaxed. Mokuba caught the movement out of the corner of his eye. Definitely a "yes," then. Mokuba shook his head. "I'd hoped that when Gozaburo died, Nisama would finally be able to sleep through the night."

"What happened?" Yami asked.

Mokuba stared at the former pharaoh as though he'd asked the dumbest question ever.

"Well… at first… you did."

Yami stared at Mokuba, mouth open.

"Not any more. My brother seems happier," Mokuba rushed to explain.

"But…" Yami supplied.

"You know… that first penalty game."

Yami betrayed another start of surprise. He'd expected Mokuba to say, "Death-T" instead.

"I heard him scream one night after that first time you guys dueled. He never did that. Not since early on… you know, when that bastard adopted us. I used to hear him at first but he learned to keep his mouth shut real fast."

Yami nodded, suddenly realizing how quiet Kaiba had been. Yami had been woken up by his movements or by a feeling that something was wrong; Kaiba hadn't made a sound.

"Anyway, I ran into his room. He was howling and thrashing around on the bed. When I woke him up, he looked at me and said, 'The monsters aren't real. I'm not dead. Why can't I remember that? I can't make it stop.' Then he seemed to remember that I was in the room and threw me out. He told me to stay away from you. I'd still hear him scream at night, all the way up until Death-T, but he kept the door locked."

"What? That illusion was supposed to run its course and end… it was so that Kaiba could learn about the heart of the cards." Yami paused. But Kaiba hadn't learned, and the nightmares – unknown to Yami – had continued. Yami dropped onto the couch. "Maybe Pegasus _was_ right…"

"Pegasus was lying," Mokuba said. For once, his voice was as hard as his brother's.

Yami turned to look at him. "You don't even know what he said."

"I don't have to. If words were coming out of Pegasus' mouth, he was lying."

"Not about this. Pegasus said the Millennium Items were evil. He was right. They were created out of the lives – no, the murder – of 100 innocent souls. And my life is tied to them."

"Not anymore," Mokuba pointed out.

For the second time, Yami's mouth dropped open. "I guess that's true, but it's not that simple, Mokuba. I enjoyed forcing penalty games and exacting punishment. I didn't stop because it was wrong, but because I met Yugi. I swore to protect him and he was deeply hurt by my actions. I can't promise I could have done it on my own. Even afterwards, I would have let your brother die at Duelists Kingdom."

It was Mokuba's turn to fall silent. He understood what Yami was saying all too well. It had started with the loss of a dragon. Before it had ended, his beloved Nisama had ruined lives to gather the other three; he'd built a theme park of death. Mokuba had been at his side every step of the way, cheering him on. They hadn't been able to stop themselves, either.

"It wasn't a good time for any of us," Mokuba said awkwardly.

Yami's lips quirked. He supposed that was one way of putting it.

"Well, at least you weren't the one causing the nightmares this time, right?" Mokuba said brightly.

Yami laughed. "Stop trying to trick me into giving something away. Did you really think you could beat me at this game?"

Mokuba plastered his most angelic look on his face and let the subject drop. Yami was right, it wasn't often someone beat the King of Games. His brother had never quite managed it, whatever this latest twist in their relationship meant… unless getting Yami to want to live was a victory in and of itself. But Mokuba was sure that whatever had kept his brother up concerned Kaiba Corporation. That meant he'd been hunting weapons again without letting Mokuba know. For some reason, he'd let Yami in, and Yami was willing to help. That was a lot to discover without mentioning any of it directly even once – and best of all, Yami had no clue how much he'd let slip. That meant it would be even easier next time. Now that, Mokuba thought with an inward smile, was winning.

Kaiba came home to find Mokuba and Yami laughing as they played a video game together. Kaiba stared at them for a moment, unsure whether to smile in response. Yami looked completely at home in Kaiba's mansion. Kaiba wasn't sure what to make of that, either.

They looked up as Kaiba entered the room. Kaiba answered their greetings mechanically. They went to the dining room for breakfast where Kaiba picked at his food. It was easier to ignore their speculative glances than to respond.

Kaiba had gone into this game with a plan. He'd decided on the plane ride back from Egypt that he was going to see that Yami got his old confidence back. Kaiba had wanted to clear the books of his obligation, to reset their gameboard… and to prove himself every bit the duelist Yami was.

It had been a simple plan. It had even worked. And then they'd kissed… and then they'd made out… and then they'd fucked. And then everything had spiraled out of Kaiba's control.

Kaiba had recovered of course. He was used to reacting to the facts on the ground, no matter how bizarre they were, no matter how quickly they changed. Sex, after all, was a game. Kaiba had thought he'd understood the rules. Until they'd changed yet again, last night and all the nights before, when they'd talked instead of fucking or sleeping, when they'd revealed vulnerabilities that had no place anywhere but on a dueling field, where they could be screamed aloud and hurled in each other's faces.

Kaiba was glad when the pretense of breakfast was over and he could leave the room to get the car.

Yami raised his eyebrows when Kaiba pulled up to the front door of the mansion. He hadn't seen the car before. It was sleek, aerodynamic, and glossily black. Yami wondered if it was a reflection of Kaiba's mood.

Kaiba stared fixedly ahead. At the first light, he relaxed his grip and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. Without taking his eyes from the road, he said, "I'm aware that I didn't live up to my end of the bargain last night."

"What?" Yami swung his head around to face Kaiba.

Kaiba glanced at him. The only emotion visible on Yami's face was shock.

Kaiba frowned. He thought he'd been clear. The light changed and Kaiba continued driving. "We both understood the deal: we're rivals with benefits. If there are no benefits, what's the point?"

"That is the most insulting thing you have ever said to me, Seto Kaiba!" Yami thundered. "It is unworthy of you and our rivalry. How dare you imply that the only reason I came over was…" Yami snapped his mouth shut; his face was flushed with anger.

Kaiba frowned again. "We had an agreement. I backed out."

"On an agreement that exists solely inside of your own head!"

Kaiba nodded. He'd been expecting this ever since their first night.

"I wasn't disappointed in you last night. I'm disappointed in you right now! How dare you try to back away from what we shared?"

Kaiba glanced at Yami. That didn't sound like a good-bye. "I woke you up for something as trivial as a nightmare. I must have been yelling in my sleep." Kaiba frowned. He hadn't done that in years, not since Gozaburo had demonstrated the penalties that followed such a lack of control.

"You didn't make a sound." Yami paused, remembering that Mokuba had said Kaiba had learned to be quiet. Yami suppressed a shudder at how that particular skill must have been acquired. "It's okay, Kaiba. I'm glad I was awake. I liked talking to you."

The light turned red. It was all the excuse Kaiba needed to slam on the brakes and turn to glare at Yami. "Are you daring to offer me pity?" he snarled.

"I was trying to tell you that I enjoy spending time with you – even when we're not having sex."

Kaiba stared at the empty road as if it was a raceway and his undivided attention was needed to prevent a fiery crash. He had no idea how to respond. Kaiba tried to remember when anyone, besides Mokuba, had ever said that they liked talking to him before. His employees and designers thanked him for his time after each development session or critique; they were enthusiastic about their work. Kaiba knew enough to realize that that wasn't the same thing as actually being liked. He risked another glance at Yami. He didn't seem to be expecting an answer. "Thank you," Kaiba said, stiffly.

Yami paused. They fell silent again, but now it was a comfortable quiet shared by two rivals and friends.

"Mokuba said that you go out to dinner on Sunday nights. I'd like to join you," Yami said as they neared the game shop.

Kaiba forgot that he hated the way the rules kept changing. He smirked. "Now that Yugi has finally worked up the nerve to ask friendship girl out, you figured it's your turn to try, too?"

Yami rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm inviting you to the kind of date where you bring along your little brother."

Kaiba laughed. "We leave at six."

"I'll be waiting." Yami got out of the car and stared at it as Kaiba sped away. Kaiba kept insisting this was a game. Yami wasn't so sure. If it was a game, he'd have figured out the rules by now.

Yami went into the game shop. Yugi and Sugoroku were already there. Sugoroku shooed Yugi out at four o'clock so he could get ready for his date. He sent Yami upstairs to join him a little later. "You better make sure my grandson doesn't chicken out! It's not every day you get a date with a cutie like Anzu!"

Yugi had finished dressing by the time Yami entered their room. "He kicked you out, too?" Yugi asked.

Yami nodded.

"I'm glad you're here. I'm nervous," Yugi confessed. "Anzu is too."

"She is?" Yami asked. He thought everything was settled.

"Of course. She's worried about what'll happen if we don't work out. She's afraid of ruining our friendship."

"How do you know what she's thinking?" Yami asked.

"She told me. How else?" Yugi said.

"She did?" Yami raised his eyebrows. He tried to imagine what that would be like.

"Yeah. I'm glad she did. She's nervous. So am I. This way, we're in it together. And…" Yugi paused. He scrunched up his face trying to find the words. "Saying that took a lot of courage on her part… you know, sharing how you feel, what you're afraid of. I'm kind of… honored she told me. It made me feel good. Like she knew she could tell me the truth and that I was strong enough to hear it."

Yami paused, thinking of Kaiba. When Mokuba had first told them about Kaiba's childhood, about how their adoptive father had forced Kaiba to stay up all night studying, with only the threat of a riding crop and Gozaburo's laughter for company, Yami had been too angry to listen. He'd dismissed it as a child's exaggeration – or more probably, knowing Mokuba – a ploy for sympathy. Yami knew better now. It should have been a child's made up story. But it wasn't.

In some ways he knew so much about Kaiba. He'd seen how Gozaburo haunted every step Kaiba tried to take forwards, how he fought though nonetheless, how that struggle sometimes left him too exhausted for anything else, including Yami. Yami knew how the weapons Kaiba had designed were a constant reminder of all that remained unfinished, a constant weight that not even Mokuba's presence could erase. Yami knew of the nightmares that denied Kaiba the relief of screaming out loud, of the way Kaiba held him more tightly when he was asleep.

But he didn't know what Kaiba thought about him, what Kaiba felt about him, what Kaiba hoped for, what he wanted, what he feared. Kaiba's cynical observation after he'd allowed Yami to take him for the first time: "You just had to even the score," flashed through Yami's mind. Days later, Yami understood why the question, as stubborn as Kaiba himself, had refused to leave. Now Yami saw it for the missed opportunity it was.

Yami didn't remember his answer. He'd probably said something expectedly snarky. Why did it feel like giving an unexpected one would have yielded a truer victory? Had Kaiba been hoping for an honest answer, hoping even, that this wasn't just the latest move in their newest game?

Yami slammed his fist on Yugi's desk. "Damn him!"

"Who? What?" Yugi asked, his eyes wide.

"Kaiba. I can't read his mind."

"You shouldn't have to. That's what talking is for. I'm worried about you, Yami."

"You don't have to worry."

"This is more than a game to you. I know that. What's going to happen if Kaiba doesn't feel the same? You shouldn't have to guess about something that important. You need to talk to him."

Yami pointed out, "Talking and Kaiba don't often go together."

"You could try yelling. That usually seems to work."

Yami laughed.

Yugi sighed. "Just think about it, okay?"

Yami smiled. He was relieved when Yugi accepted that in place of an answer. Ever since he and Kaiba had started sharing a bed, it felt like they'd forgotten the little they'd known about how to talk to each other. Their friendship had been so tenuous… sometimes Yami was sorry they'd added something as combustible as sex to such a volatile mixture. Sometimes he was afraid that every fear he'd had was coming true. But that didn't stop him from counting the hours until he'd have Kaiba in his arms again.

Yugi left for Anzu's and then walked with her to the Domino Cultural Arts Center. He presented the tickets with a flourish, glad they'd made it with time to spare. Anzu gasped in anticipation as the house lights dimmed and the dancers took their places.

Yugi had been expecting pink tutus and girls standing on their tippy-toes leaping in the air, with maybe a castle or something in the background. The girls were there all right – about a dozen of them – and the leaping part was on target, but nothing else was making sense. For one thing the girls and the guys who'd joined them all seemed to be in gi pants, like they were about to take a martial arts class, except their clothes were streaked with green and brown paint. And instead of a castle, there were big rocks and even a tree stump on the floor. The girls kept running around and jumping over the rocks, going faster with each circuit. The guys stood tall and still as trees, occasionally lifting and throwing them. After a while Yugi got tired of watching the girls jumping and twirling and waving their arms, sometimes singly, sometimes in pairs and sometimes all in a clump together. Yugi glanced at Anzu. She was staring at the stage, her mouth slightly open in a smile, her eyes wide.

"They move so beautifully," Anzu breathed.

Yugi nodded. He'd been wondering how they avoided tripping over all the junk on the floor, too.

Yugi looked at Anzu for another minute, finding her face much more interesting than the performance. He glanced back at the stage at Anzu's sudden gasp. One of the girls seemed to be hugging the tree stump, then she climbed on it and waved her arms a bit before jumping off, twirling in the air before she landed and curled in a ball as the next girl took her place and then the next all the way down the line. When the last one had tumbled to the floor and they were all lying there, curled up like tumbleweeds or kittens, they suddenly sprang up. They leapt and waved their arms in the air, then held hands as they all ran off-stage. The guys followed them, Yugi had no idea what was going on, except that the lights had come on again.

"I guess it's intermission?" he asked Anzu.

"Wasn't that amazing? I've never seen a more beautiful rendering of the circle of life!"

Yugi nodded. He liked "The Lion King." It had been one of his favorite movies as a child, but he wasn't sure that was the same thing. "Wow, you really like it!" he said.

"It's even better than I expected. I'm studying ballet, but there's something about this… it's so freeing!" She glanced at Yugi. "I know this isn't your usual thing, but you're having a good time too, right?"

"Of course I am!" Yugi said, beaming up at her.

It wasn't a lie. He was with Anzu; he'd made her happy.

Yugi was surprised to find that second act held his attention. He couldn't have said why. Maybe it was because the girls were in more dancer-like outfits. They still weren't tutus, but the filmy scarf-like dresses danced with them, waved with the force of their movements, matching the blue and green translucent banners they carried and dipped and trailed behind them. Maybe the second act was that much better, or maybe Yugi suddenly saw what he was looking at, but the flowing movements reminded him of summoning Aqua Spirit in a duel, and in an instant, the way the dancers combined and broke apart became as familiar to Yugi as his deck. He stared at the stage as if it was a dueling arena until the final curtain fell.

They walked home through the fall night.

"Kei Takei had ballet training… you can see it in her choreography, but she used it to create something new," Anzu said after a comfortable pause.

"Like a fusion monster," Yugi said. "That's what they reminded me of. Like combining Mystic Lamp and Hyosube to create the Roaring Ocean Snake."

Anzu stopped and stared at him for a moment. Yugi fidgeted. Then Anzu smiled. "That's exactly what the second act was about: the essence and power of water. I never thought of it like that, but you're absolutely right. It's just like an aqua fusion monster."

They'd reached Anzu's house and all that was left to end their date was the good-night kiss. Anzu had to bend down. Her lips were warm and very soft, as soft as Yugi's own. Their mouths opened slightly in surprise at the feeling, then opened a little more. Yugi's tongue tipped forward slightly, tasting Anzu's lower lip as if she were an ice cream cone. She straightened up in surprise and then leaned down again. They were both blushing when she finally opened her front door and slipped inside her house.

Yugi floated home. He was glad Yami was asleep. For once, he didn't want to talk to the person he'd called his other self for so long.

Yami heard about Yugi's date in the morning and then again when they met up with Jounouchi and Honda at the arcade in the afternoon.

"So?" Jounouchi asked, digging into Yugi's side with his elbow. "How was the big night?"

"It was awesome!"

"Great news, buddy!" Jounouchi yelled, high-fiving Yugi.

"Anzu was beautiful… I mean she's always beautiful, but last night she was extra-beautiful."

Jounouchi and Honda looked at each other. They'd never thought of Anzu as beautiful before. She was just Anzu and neither was sure how Yugi had managed to notice she was a girl.

"It wasn't a ballet." Yugi wrinkled his nose. "I'm not sure what it was, actually. Boy, dancers sure have to work hard, with all that running and leaping around. It's no wonder Anzu's so good at soccer and basketball."

Honda grinned. He'd always wanted to feel like that about someone… but his crushes had never quite worked out.

"She said I was a natural at understanding dance and stuff!"

Jounouchi burst out laughing, holding his stomach as he bent over with the force of his howls. Even Honda had to join in. Yami glared at both of them.

"She said what?" Jounouchi gasped out.

"She was explaining how choreographers mixed together different styles. It was interesting." Yugi stuck out his chin. "It was! Anyway, I said it reminded me of fusion monsters and she agreed. I was kind of worried I wouldn't have anything to say, but it all went fine."

"That's what I'm wondering. Just how fine did it go?" Jounouchi asked with another dig at Yugi's ribs.

"Jounouchi!" Yugi screamed, turning red.

"What? We're all guys here, right?"

"Jounouchi," Yami growled. "I hope you're not asking…"

"You want to have guy talk about Anzu? Are you crazy? She'll kill us!" Honda said.

"Yeah and now that I think about it…" There were some things, Jounouchi decided, he didn't need to know. "Forget I said anything!"

"Gladly!" Yugi said firmly, happy to let the matter drop as they settled down to playing games.

Yami left early, over the two other boys' protests. He ignored Yugi's wink. Yami didn't want to be late for his own unofficial, sort-of date. Yami looked at his limited clothing choices. He supposed wearing Mokuba's shirt made sense. It still felt odd, wearing something Yugi hadn't worn first.

Yami went outside at six o'clock. He was surprised to see the limousine pull up in front of Yugi's home.

"Nice shirt," Kaiba said as Yami opened the car door.

Yami glared at him. "A limousine? I'm flattered," Yami countered as he got in next to Kaiba. Mokuba was on the other side.

"Don't be. Parking's a bitch. This is easier."

Yami smirked.

"Mokuba picks out the restaurant on Sunday nights," Kaiba tossed the statement out as though expecting an argument. "We're going to the french fries place that just opened."

French fries?" Yami asked. He – or rather, Yugi – had eaten them at Burger World. Jounouchi had once put one in each nostril and pretended to be a walrus. Anzu had smacked him for wasting food.

"It's new! A whole restaurant for french fries! They have all kinds of different toppings! I want gravy, cheese and meatballs," Mokuba said, leaning across his brother.

"If you don't like the menu, just remember that _you_ were the one that invited yourself along," Kaiba told Yami.

"Nisama!"

"Mokuba's taste is highly questionable. I'm just glad he's off his pancakes kick," Kaiba added with a glance towards his younger brother.

"So am I. I'm not a big fan of pancakes," Yami said. He tried to smile reassuringly at Mokuba. Yami had no intention of mentioning that the last time Mokuba had fed him pancakes, they'd been poisoned.

The limousine pulled up front of the restaurant. Yami was surprised. It was neither big nor imposing although it was certainly more expensive than Burger World… and much trendier, with polished wooden tables, comfortable leather chairs and laser lights that chased each other across the ceiling. The clientele seemed to match. Most of the crowd was about ten years older than Yugi and his gang, with the expected fashion upgrade. Yami realized with a shock it was the kind of place Yugi might take Anzu one day.

Kaiba threw himself into a chair. Mokuba followed. "Pretty cool, huh? Can I have dessert first?" he asked, as the diners at the next table dug into their conical glass bowls of french fries topped with ice cream and chocolate sauce.

"No. It's bad enough we're here at all," Kaiba said. His lips betrayed him though, quirking upwards in a teasing smile. It sat oddly on his face, and yet, Yami found himself leaning towards it.

"What are you getting, Yami? French fries are the best!" Mokuba said.

Yami frowned at the menu. He was annoyed at how each decision, no matter how trivial, taunted him with the reminder he'd never had to decide anything besides the fate of the world before. Selecting a french fry topping shouldn't have been harder, but it was.

"Trying to figure out what Yugi would get?" Kaiba asked with a smirk as the waiter approached.

Yami glared at Kaiba, tossed the menu aside and ordered fries with jalapeños and chicken. Chicken was familiar. Jalapeños were not. He'd heard they were spicy. Yugi never ate spicy food. If Yugi could pick out a new shirt, he could branch out too.

"I hope you know what you're in for," Kaiba said. "Of course it'll be much more entertaining if you don't."

"Nisama!" Mokuba said again, but he couldn't help grinning.

Their orders arrived. Yami took a mouthful large enough to have made Jounouchi proud. They were, Yami had to admit, the best fries he'd ever had. The first bite was a jolt of pure fire; it made his mouth feel alive. His second bite was even better. By the third he was hooked. Yami was pleased, and secretly a little proud, that his instinct had been right. He glanced at Kaiba. "I think I like spicy things," he said.

Kaiba's eyes widened as he stared at Yami. Mokuba giggled with his mouth full. Kaiba stared fixedly at his food, fries topped with steak. He concentrated on the thin slices of beef, ignoring the fries underneath, as if Yami hadn't spoken. Mokuba plowed through his fries with meatballs and sauce on route to the promised French fry sundae. Yami couldn't help but feel it was fitting that even the cheese curds on Mokuba's fries squeaked excitedly, providing an odd accompaniment to his steady chatter. Yami was glad when Mokuba cracked a joke. It gave him an excuse to laugh.

Kaiba had retreated into silence. Long before the inevitable dessert had been ordered, he'd given up even the pretense of picking at his food. If this was a date, it would be his first. Kaiba had never wanted one before.

His only previous experience had been bought and paid for. He'd hoped to never have to discuss it again, but Gozaburo had had other thoughts. Kaiba had almost made it home after that first encounter. Then Gozaburo had turned to him as the limousine had neared the mansion's gates.

"I suppose you think you're a man, now that you've had your first woman?"

Kaiba hadn't answered. He'd become a man long before that night. Nothing had changed except that he'd wanted a shower a little more than usual.

Gozaburo had grabbed Kaiba by his shirt front and wrenched him off the seat. He'd landed awkwardly on his knees on the floor of the car. His arms had flown out as he'd braced himself to keep from falling over. Gozaburo had held Kaiba's head down, completing his humiliation as he knelt in front of his adoptive father. Then just as swiftly Gozaburo had gotten a hand under his chin and forced his head up.

"Look at me, when I talk to you, boy. Understand one thing. I bought you. This body is mine," Gozaburo had hissed, tightening his grip. "And you'll use or withhold it to benefit Kaiba Corporation. The last thing I want is for people to think of you as a randy out-of-control teenager. So you're going to keep it zipped." Gozaburo had dropped his hand. Kaiba had stayed in position, knowing it wasn't safe to rise, yet. "I have some potential buyers coming over for the heavy machinery conference – and they're bringing their sons. I'll let you off the leash again, then… now that you've proven you can perform adequately."

But Gozaburo had leapt to his death before the conference had rolled around. It was surprising, Kaiba thought, still staring at the restaurant tabletop as though some answer was engraved there, that he hadn't shacked up with the first person he'd run across – just to prove whose body it really had been all along. Except he hadn't wanted to touch anyone, hadn't wanted anyone getting close enough to touch him.

Until Yami.

He hadn't known then that there were other ways to get close to someone, ways that went beyond physical touch.

Until Yami.

And now, Kaiba didn't know what to do with that knowledge – or what he wanted, now that it was no longer as simple as wanting a duel or even a lay.

Mokuba kept eating; he was used to his brother's sudden silences. Yami still wasn't. Yami drew in a breath. He couldn't help but contrast this awkward attempt at a meal with Yugi's glowing description of his date with Anzu. Yami kept waiting for things to get better, to learn how to live, to become more like Yugi. But he was starting to doubt that would ever happen, especially since as uncomfortable as tonight had proven, if Yami could have waved a wand and switched places with Yugi, he would have shoved his hands in his pockets instead.

Yami exhaled and went back to staring at Kaiba who was staring at his nearly full plate of food. Yami realized that he'd seen Kaiba gloating at the end of a match. Yami had seen Kaiba stung by defeat or furiously angry. Yami had seen Kaiba laughing maniacally. But he'd never seen Kaiba look quite so ill at ease before.

The things Yami knew about Kaiba and the things he didn't crashed together. He knew Kaiba had nightmares. Kaiba looked like he was having one now. But like his scars, which were too many and too deep for ordinary childhood, whatever was going through Kaiba's mind when he sat staring at nothing, was something they never mentioned.

Yami knew what it was like to drown in your own doubts, to feel yourself dragged under. He still felt that way sometimes. But Kaiba had helped him more than either of them had ever acknowledged, and it hurt to see Kaiba sitting, silent and withdrawn, trapped in some world of his own, just as he'd been in that first penalty game. Yami had hurt Kaiba then, through their own ignorance, through their own arrogance. Yami couldn't watch impassively, now.

"Kaiba…" he said softly.

Kaiba looked up. Yami flicked a jalapeño at Kaiba's face. Kaiba caught it in midair. Mokuba giggled.

"What did you do that for?" Kaiba hissed.

"Just testing your reflexes."

"You should be more careful. I have plenty of ammunition, myself," Kaiba said, pointing to his plate. "All you have left are a couple of peppers."

Yami's face was almost as innocent as Yugi's. "French fries and steak are too messy. You wouldn't want to set a bad example for your brother, would you?"

Kaiba shook his head. This was the part of Yami he found so bemusing, the part that never seemed to have an ulterior motive, the part whose schemes seemed to center around reminding Kaiba of the here and now any time he fell too far into the past.

Kaiba drew in a breath. He still had no idea if Yami had meant to ask him out. He had no idea if he'd meant to say, "yes." But Kaiba could deal with it all tomorrow. He exhaled. Tonight he had a jalapeño in his hand and Yami's smirking face was within striking range.

Kaiba grinned and flung the jalapeño at Yami. It hit Yami squarely on his forehead with enough force to stick for a moment before dropping back onto Yami's plate.

"Hey!" Yami yelped.

Kaiba's smirk broadened. "You seem to have forgotten that you thoughtfully provided me with a projectile with a proven track record – and as you noted, my reflexes are excellent."

"Does this mean we can have a food fight?" Mokuba asked, eyeing his remaining meatball.

"Absolutely not!" Yami and Kaiba answered at the same time, as the long awaited sundae arrived.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter encouraging me include Yugi describing his date with Anzu to his friends.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** At first I was going to have Yugi and Anzu go to the ballet which was a pretty funny image. Then, when I was talking to Bnomiko and googling I came across the Kei Takei Moving Earth Company – which is an actual dance company, and it struck us how much funnier it would be if Yugi expected ballet and ended up with experimental dance theatre.

I can also see Kaiba being bothered by not having sex the previous night. He's managed to rationalize his desire to spend time with Yami, simply as desire. So when faced with the proof that more than than might be going on, I can see him trying to fit his feelings back in the rivals-with-benefits box, without seeing they're already climbing over the sides.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal at .com.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) Your comments help me figure out what's missing, what's working and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review. **_


	20. Too Many Husbands

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 20: TOO MANY HUSBANDS**

TOO MANY HUSBANDS: Screwball comedy, circa 1940. I'm not sure what Depression era screwball comedies would have done without Jean Arthur. Here she plays a woman whose first husband returns from the dead only to find that she's remarried – and the second spouse is almost as absent as the first. As these two self-involved men fight to be the one man in her life, she comes to realize that when each husband gives you half the attention you want, there are perks to having two of them around. This has absolutely nothing to do with my story, except for the moral.

_MORAL: Coming back to life makes everything more complicated._

* * *

Yami wondered if the limousine had been circling the block the whole time they'd been at dinner, because it pulled up as soon as they'd exited the restaurant. It would be easy to get used to this, Yami thought as they got in the car and headed back to the mansion. Kaiba was sitting in the middle again.

"We go swimming on Sunday nights," Mokuba announced, leaning over his brother to talk to Yami. Mokuba was fine with inviting Yami along, but he had no intention of changing their routine.

"You have an indoor pool?" Yami asked.

"Yeah, but I'm talking about the outdoor one. It's way cooler!"

Yami nodded. Of course Kaiba would have both. Yami was glad it was still September. "It's a good thing it's a warm night or 'way cooler' would hardly be a selling point."

"You know what I meant!" Mokuba laughed. "Anyway, the pool's heated. It's even better later on, when it's cold outside and the pool's nice and hot. Just wait until you see it. You can borrow a pair of trunks if you need them," Mokuba added in a rush.

"Anything in Mokuba's closet would have to be an improvement on that cartoon dolphin atrocity you wore last time. But I guess that's what happens when you shop in the children's section," Kaiba observed.

"Nisama! I'm 12! There's no way I'd wear anything that childish!" Mokuba protested.

"Of course you wouldn't," Kaiba said with a smirk as the car stopped at the mansion's front door.

Mokuba got out, ran in the door and up the stairs. Yami gritted his teeth as he followed. By the time he'd reached Mokuba's bedroom, Mokuba was already pulling trunks out of a drawer. Most were solids or stripes. "Oh, I forgot about this one," Mokuba said as he pulled out a pair of trunks with ghostly teddy bears on a field of starfish. "I don't wear it any more, obviously."

"It's perfect!" Yami breathed, grabbing it and heading for the bathroom to change.

Yami met up with Kaiba and Mokuba by the front door. Kaiba was in the same wetsuit he'd worn at the beach. He looked just as good. The brothers had towels and robes in their arms. Kaiba's eyes widened as he took in Yami's trunks, then narrowed.

"You're right, this is so much more dignified than dolphins," Yami said.

"I was right about your best bet being the children's section too."

"We can't all have ridiculously long legs, giraffe-boy."

"What did you call me, shrimp?"

"Witty comeback," Yami observed.

Kaiba snorted but didn't continue the argument. If there was anyone who could appreciate the determination it took to wear a pair of absolutely ridiculous swim trunks just to rub it in an opponent's face, it was Seto Kaiba.

They walked behind the mansion until they reached the pool. Yami had to admit that Mokuba hadn't oversold it. Strictly speaking it wasn't one pool at all – but two linked ones, with the smaller and higher up pool overflowing and filling the larger one that lay directly under it. Both pools were ringed with stones, but there the resemblance to anything natural ended. And yet, it didn't look man-made either: it was surreal rather than artificial.

Yami was instantly sure that Kaiba had designed it; it looked like a place a dragon would love. The oval of the larger pool below Yami even had a faintly dragonish shape, as if the ground had been hollowed through centuries of being used as its bed. Kaiba might not have been able to summon his Blue Eyes White Dragon in the flesh, but he'd built her a home.

Yami surveyed the smaller pool. It was a more playful affair. At the other end, a silver sculpture rose from the rocks. It wasn't (for once) anything as obvious as a dragon, but something in the soaring, intertwined pieces suggested wings and flight. Water ran through the structure and sprayed outwards, creating its own waterfall to match the larger one created by the gap between the two pools. All throughout the top pool, geysers suddenly flared to life, shooting water upwards before subsiding and then reappearing in a slightly different spot.

Kaiba went to the edge of the top pool. He dove into the lower one and started swimming laps, cutting through the water with his usual efficiency. Mokuba headed in the opposite direction, throwing himself on top of the geysers as they began to form. After a few moments he raced for the silver structure and began climbing. When he was halfway up he turned and called out to Yami, "Come on in!"

Yami stood at the edge, still staring at Kaiba. "What's he doing?"

"Swimming laps," Mokuba replied.

"I can see that. I mean, why?"

Mokuba shrugged as well as he could while still hanging on to the sculpture, then jumped back into the pool. "Beats me. He does it every Sunday. I think he figures it's relaxing. He'll be back up after he gets a few laps in. Why? Do you want to join him?"

Yami thought it over. He could swim, even if Yugi couldn't. Kaiba had proven that when he'd thrown Yami over the side of his boat. Yami smiled, remembering that day. He glanced down at Kaiba again. Yami didn't want to race – that didn't feel like a game – and he couldn't see a point to swimming laps for any other reason. "I don't think so. But go ahead and join him, Mokuba," he answered.

"Nah, I can't keep up with him when he gets going like this."

"It doesn't look like fun," Yami said.

Mokuba grinned. "Don't tell Nisama, but I agree."

"How can you tell when the geysers are set to shoot up?" Yami asked.

"Come in and I'll show you!"

Yami jumped in and swam over to Mokuba. They jumped on geysers and splashed under the waterfall until Kaiba joined them. They dove from the top pool to the bottom. Yami was surprised by the complexity of Mokuba's dives, all of which involved tumbling or rotating moves. Kaiba watched each dive intently, offering suggestions as Mokuba bobbed to the surface.

After a while they got out and headed for the house. Yami put on a robe and suddenly realized that the garment, which fit perfectly, had appeared in Kaiba's bathroom the second time he'd stayed over. Kaiba had never mentioned it and Yami had taken it for granted.

They showered and watched television until Mokuba's bedtime. It wasn't until Yami and Kaiba were upstairs and alone that Yami remembered Kaiba's wetsuit – which had been unnecessary given the pool's heat – and put two and two together. "Has Mokuba ever seen you with your shirt off?"

"He's my brother. Of course he has," Kaiba said irritably. Yami watched as Kaiba ran his hand through his hair and muttered, almost too low to be heard, "Not recently."

"Kaiba!"

"He doesn't need to see this. Believe me, the last thing he needs is a reminder," Kaiba said, peeling his shirt off, revealing the faint scars scattered across his form.

Yami mouthed Kaiba's name again, but this time there was no wind behind it. He didn't know what to say. He was appalled by the secrecy that existed at every layer of communication between the Kaiba brothers… but at the same time, Yami knew that if he'd been in Kaiba's shoes, he would have done the same thing. He was equally certain that Yugi would disagree with both of them.

"No speeches to hurl at me?" Kaiba asked.

"I'm out of words."

"Good," Kaiba said, stripping off his sweat pants.

"You're beautiful," Yami said, staring at Kaiba's naked body, pale enough to glow in the dim light of his bedroom; Yami didn't want to break eye contact long enough to pull off his own shirt.

Kaiba smirked. He didn't answer with words. He reached for Yami instead, pulling off Yami's shirt. Echoing Kaiba's actions, Yami stepped out of his own borrowed pajama bottoms.

Yami had once walked into Kaiba's soul and shattered it, a process that had never fully stopped. But if that day had forced Kaiba to admit that Yami had been the victor, if all the days that had followed their first kiss had confirmed that Yami was able to vanquish even Kaiba's idea of himself, Kaiba could at least contain the damage to this room and this time when the rest of the Domino was asleep. And in his lair, Kaiba could admit just how much he wanted this chance… and this man.

Yami knew he was supposed to be talking to Kaiba about their relationship, not kissing him… but kissing Kaiba felt so much better. Yugi would be nice and supportive when he learned of Yami's failure, but he'd also be unable to hide his disappointment. Yami felt a sting of shame at his defeat, at the way Kaiba's refusal to talk had won out. But kissing Kaiba, stroking his body, falling down to the bed with him, was so natural and right. If it was a surrender, it was to something older and even more stubborn than Kaiba himself.

They'd traveled separate paths to the same destination, to this place where doubts and resentments had been elbowed aside, where – for the moment – only desire remained. Kaiba and Yami were both strategists. Now they'd found a place beyond planning, beyond control. A place where they could relax as a newer, sweeter tension stole across them. Where all they felt was the sense of a release in preparation for for the greater one to come.

Kaiba stopped worrying about his self-imposed rules, delighting only in their breaking. He had Yami where he wanted him... on his bed, looking up at Kaiba, focused only on him, clutching Kaiba as if he'd never let go. Kaiba needed to hold on to this, to hold Yami in his life in the only way he could. Kaiba needed to brand himself into Yami's soul as profoundly as Yami had shattered his, to imprint the image of his body behind Yami's eyelids, so that Yami would see him every time he shut his eyes, even when they were apart, even when Yami was back in the bedroom he shared with Yugi.

Yami forgot all the "shoulds" in his life: how he should be feeling, what he should be thinking, what he should say and how Kaiba should answer. They faded to a background noise. Yami let them go thankfully as he grabbed Kaiba instead, wanting only to enjoy this moment, to relish this ride and forget there would ever be a morning. Yami was sinking gladly, gratefully, into the feel of Kaiba's mouth on his, the feel of Kaiba's body against his, the feel of Kaiba's hands, insistently searching, stroking, demanding a response he was only too eager to give. Yami was drowning in the sensations that only Kaiba could provoke, the needs only Kaiba could create and satisfy, surrendering to a moment that had all the joy of being alive, with none of its complexities. A moment when their doubts and fears disappeared, and all that remained were their bodies, awkward in their haste, as they strained and arched against each other. A moment when words vanished, replaced by guttural moans and growls that rose and fell in accompaniment... a moment of blessed oblivion.

And then it was over and they were aware of the bed, of their entangled limbs. Kaiba knew he should roll over and go to sleep. He was sated. He was relaxed enough to shut his eyes. Instead he gathered Yami into his arms. Kaiba smiled, knowing that Yami would grab him back and hang on just as tightly, knowing that Yami would consider it an invitation to talk. Lying in the dark, Kaiba could admit to himself that he loved these moments when Yami clung to him long after any reason to do so had past, these moments when it was so easy to recognize and believe that Yami wanted him.

Yami found it impossible to believe that all they were doing was playing some new kind of game, when they lay like this entwined in Kaiba's bed. There was an honesty to this time that had nothing to do with strategy or rivalry. Yami smiled as he rubbed his cheek against Kaiba's chest, as he lay against him listening for a moment to Kaiba's heartbeat.

Yami liked the darkness. It made Kaiba's bedroom feel like a sanctuary, a confessional where he could admit to doubts and regrets. "You'd think it would be easy to forget a past you don't even remember," Yami said. "Instead, there's a gap that lingers where memories should be."

"The past should stay buried in the dirt where it belongs," Kaiba answered. An image of Mokuba's face pleading with him before he was hidden behind Death-T's holographic monsters swung wildly in front of Kaiba's vision. Kaiba felt slightly sick, just as he always did.

"Without your past, you wouldn't be the man you are today," Yami said.

"You mean I wouldn't be the man who tried to kill his brother?" Kaiba gave a bark of laughter, that eased only when Yami tightened his grip. "I always knew I was capable of murder. The public record of the death toll attributable to Kaiba Corporation weapons provides ample confirmation of that fact. But I never would have believed I was capable of harming Mokuba. Maybe you're right. Maybe that's why, despite my best efforts, I keep hanging on to the past. Because some crimes should never be forgotten."

"For you, forgetfulness would be an act of cowardice. And that's the one sin you'd never commit, no matter how tempted, isn't it?" Yami felt Kaiba relax although he still held him as close. "For me though, it's simply a condition of my existence."

Kaiba stroked Yami's hair briefly. "You learned that you were an honorable man. That even back then in a world you don't remember, you acted in defense of your country, you protected the things crucial to you, you were willing to die for them. What else do you need to know?"

Yami leaned forward to kiss Kaiba's lips before moving back and resettling his head on Kaiba's chest. "Thank you. It was a relief to learn that much. But I find myself missing people that I never got a chance to know. I don't remember my mother. Even in the Memory World, I never got to see her. And none of my comrades realized that I'd lost my memories, that I wasn't the pharaoh that they'd always known. I couldn't tell them, not and be strong for them at the same time. So I couldn't ask. I never got to hear about her. I never even learned her name."

Kaiba wondered why the darkness and the late hour made it easier to answer, made it seem more like a confidence and less like an admission of weakness.

"I don't remember my mother either, at least not well. It's as if her face and voice were recorded on a tape that's faded. When I was younger I'd try to remember. I'd repeat stories to myself or to Mokuba until I couldn't tell anymore what was real." Kaiba bit his lip. "Then I met Gozaburo and none of it seemed to matter."

Yami knew better than to express sympathy. Kaiba had never learned to separate it from pity, and the last thing Yami wanted right now was another argument. He tightened his grip on Kaiba.

"Sometimes," Yami said, "I feel like I've been left with my life and nothing else. And then I remember I've been left with friends. You began all over again didn't you? Several times in fact."

"The orphanage… Gozaburo… Death-T… Alcatraz… sometimes the list of new beginnings seems endless. It's easier to keep moving, even in the wrong direction, if you have someone behind you, depending on you to find a way forward."

Yami nodded against Kaiba's chest. He didn't have anyone depending on his every move in Domino, but he had something just as powerful: friends willing to cheer him on every step of the way. Kaiba, little though he'd admit it, was among them. How much of who this new Yami was had he learned with Kaiba beside him?

"I like jalapeños," Yami said suddenly.

Kaiba chuckled. "We can try habaneros next, then move our way up the Scoville scale."

"What's the king of peppers?"

"Hmmmnnn... I think the Carolina Reaper just dethroned the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion."

Yami smiled. He loved the random facts Kaiba seemed to have memorized; he loved hearing the way sleep started slurring Kaiba's words before it claimed him. "We can start working out way up then, tomorrow."

Yami snuggled against Kaiba; he fell asleep to the feel of Kaiba's arms wrapped around him.

Kaiba was growing to hate the morning. He'd been afraid, ever since they went to the beach weeks ago, of losing himself, of losing everything that made him Seto Kaiba. Now each time he woke up and recalled the night before, he was afraid his fears had come true.

Kaiba got up and went to the shower, sneaking one traitorous glance back at Yami asleep in his bed. He showered and dressed. Kaiba forced himself to be polite as he woke Yami up. Yami deserved his respect and Kaiba appreciated how the rules of formality kept the world at a distance.

Kaiba concentrated on waking Mokuba up and getting him to school. Yami was equally silent, his face as distant and hard to read. Kaiba thought Yami might be angry; he couldn't tell. After they dropped Mokuba off, Kaiba jerked Yami towards him, enjoying the way the smaller man almost fell over. Kaiba's lips crushed Yami's in a swift kiss, before he pushed Yami back towards his side of the car.

Yami glared at him. "You're so predictable, Kaiba. Would it kill you to admit you were glad to see me this morning? How about learning to use words instead of playing these childish games. You managed to talk well enough last night."

"That was different. It was night."

"So what?"

"So now it's day. And whoever I keep changing into when the sun goes down… I can't be him. Not now. I have to be Seto Kaiba."

"You say that like I've turned you into a vampire!" Yami protested.

"Sometimes that's exactly what it feels like… that I'm turning into some alien freak. I don't even recognize myself any more," Kaiba snarled.

"Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Maybe I like the alien freak! At least he talks. He resembles a human being!"

"That's your tough luck! I'm all that's here. It's not like you have to hang around."

"Stop it! Don't dare me to leave you unless you mean it! Is that what you want, Seto Kaiba? Just say the word. You know I won't back down!" Yami snapped at Kaiba. He hoped Kaiba wouldn't take him up on his offer.

Kaiba's hands gripped the wheel. His lips tightened to a thin line. He stared straight ahead and began driving. He let Yami out at the game store without speaking.

Yami stared at the car as Kaiba drove away. Yami didn't know what he'd expected from Kaiba or why he'd had any expectations at all. If Kaiba would only be more like Anzu, then Yami could be more like Yugi and everything would work out. But Kaiba insisted on remaining stubbornly himself.

Yami shook his head. He and Yugi had truly reversed places. Yugi had come home from his date elated; he was sure of his direction; it was a path of his own choosing. Yami couldn't pick out a shirt; he could barely choose a meal. And this whole convoluted not-relationship with Kaiba was just one more piece of a puzzle he'd never wanted to assemble.

Yami went into the game store, glad of the distraction. He listened to Sugoroku gloat about Yugi's success with the ladies. He listened to Yugi talk about Anzu when he came home from school. He ate dinner and went to bed and missed Kaiba until he fell asleep.

By Wednesday, Yami had had enough. Sugoroku was in the store when he woke up and Yugi was at school. Yami was grateful for the quiet. He made himself breakfast, showered, dressed and headed downtown. Yami paused when he reached the Domino mall, then barged in. It was time to buy some clothes. He avoided the shop Yugi had visited. The last thing he wanted was all those not-Yugi clothes that Yugi now inexplicably preferred.

The mall was full of stores. That was the problem. Yami chose a one at random and came face to face with a button down shirt with improbably large white flowers on a bright blue background. Behind them were palm trees and paisleys. His head hurt just looking at the overly bright shirts, whose patterns and colors all managed to clash, to fight for attention, as if the fabrics themselves were screaming, "Look at me!"

Yami turned on his heel and strode out. The next store had a selection of leather that probably would have appealed to him, except that there were five different, almost identical jackets with no way to choose among them. Yami pushed his way past the salesperson without really seeing him as he raced for the door. Driven to find something before he drowned in this sea of sights and sounds and choices, Yami plunged into one store after the other. He barely looked at any of the clothes. It had turned into a noisy, hateful blur. It was useless, he was useless. Yami hated the mall, he hated being surrounded by choices he didn't want, when what he really wanted was his old life, when he'd felt confident, when he'd never had to pick out food or clothes, even if he _had_ liked jalapeños.

He shouldn't have listened to Kaiba. Kaiba hadn't suggested a mall, but he was responsible all the same. Until he'd walked through the mall doors, Yami hadn't figured that anything could be worse than Kaiba's smirk every time he saw Yami wearing Yugi's clothes. It was as though Kaiba had somehow grabbed the upper hand. Kaiba had managed to keep it every time Yami faltered at picking a meal or changing an outfit, every time Kaiba refused to talk, every time he changed from night to day, from open to closed.

Yami was suddenly sick of it all: of himself, of his own indecision, of the morass he'd fallen into when he'd decided to fall for Seto Kaiba. He marched out of the mall as decisively as he'd stomped in. Yugi was right. It was time he had it out with Kaiba. It was time to get at least one thing in his life settled and squared away.

Yami strode into the Kaiba Corporation building and went upstairs. Tamashiro smiled and waved him in. Yami slammed the door to Kaiba's office shut behind him and announced, "Yugi's worried about us. This thing… whatever it is that we have… Yugi thinks it's wrong. And I can't argue with him. I don't know how you feel. Every night you act like this means something and then the next day we're back to playing the same old games. Yugi's right. We need to talk."

"Yugi's got a hell of a nerve. Who does he think he is, telling me how to live my life? You can hang on his every word all you want to – but I'm not buying in."

"Forget about Yugi. This is about us!"

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "It sure sounded like it. What'd got him worked up anyway? You'd think Yugi had never heard of sex before."

Yami frowned. "This isn't about sex. This isn't about Yugi. He only said what I've been thinking. He cares about me. He even cares about you! He's in love with Anzu. He wants everyone to have that. He's afraid we're going to get hurt."

It was impossible for Kaiba to tell if there was a question in there somewhere. Kaiba took refuge in a snort of laughter. "When are either of you going to get it through your thick heads that you're not Yugi? I know the score and so do you. It's rivalry and sex. It's a game, just like everything else. I know that's all it is to you, whatever secrets we may tell each other at night. We both enjoy it. It's fine as long as we don't get carried away. This isn't love, this isn't whatever sappy half-assed relationship Yugi is dreaming about. So don't worry… there's nothing you can do to hurt me, and visa-versa."

Yami stared at Kaiba. Yami knew Kaiba wasn't as detached as he appeared. But Yami was damned if he was going to be the first person to break down, to admit he cared… not with Kaiba snarling at him and sneering at his partner. Yami refused to lose this game, even as he admitted to himself that he no longer wanted to play.

Yami had barged into Kaiba's office to force Kaiba to talk to him, but Yami suddenly realized that he had no idea what he wanted to say, what he wanted to hear. The two people he trusted and cared for the most – Yugi and Kaiba, himself – were both convinced his relationship with Kaiba was built on sand, that any attempt to find a foundation was destined to fail. And worse, Yami couldn't come up with a counter-argument, all he had was his own vague emotions, feelings that seemed to exist without definition. Like him, they were an empty cartouche in search of a name.

Kaiba was right. Whatever they were feeling, it wasn't love, it couldn't be love. Yami knew what love was; it was what he felt for Yugi. It was a pure, selfless emotion, untainted by anger or lust or greed, untainted by all the things he felt for Kaiba.

But any answer Yami gave would end with his walking out the door and Yami didn't want that either.

Kaiba's phone rang into the stillness in the room, a loud, insistent claxon. Kaiba pulled it out of his pocket and stared at the screen. His face was usually intent; now it was lethal. The voice coming from the phone was muffled. Kaiba listened for a few seconds then relaxed. He switched phone lines and barked, "Come in here."

Yami stared at Kaiba. He tilted his head, puzzled. Yami hadn't been able to distinguish individual words, but he'd recognized Yugi's voice instantly. Why had Yugi called Kaiba and why had Kaiba ignored him?

A moment later Mokuba burst into the room, looking like he had sprinted from his office to Kaiba's. Kaiba held up the phone and turned up the volume. Mokuba grinned as he recognized Yugi's voice.

"Neatly done. You managed to get Yugi's phone away from him, programmed it to ring here the next time he used it and returned it without his noticing. Not that Yugi would have presented much of a challenge," Kaiba said as if he hadn't been spitting out Yugi's name angrily a few minutes ago.

"I'm ready for a tougher one," Mokuba replied, standing as tall as he could manage, given his lack of inches.

"What?" Yami yelled. Both Kaibas ignored him.

"I'll think about it and come up with something." Kaiba glanced at his phone again and turned it off. "Based on his GPS he's heading to Burger World. You might want to 'accidentally' run into him and undo your handiwork before he discovers it on his own."

"Kaiba! What is going on here?"

"Yeah, like Yugi's going to be able to do that!" Mokuba scoffed. He took a look at Yami's red face and said, "Okay, I'm out of here."

Yami waited until the door had closed before bursting out, "Kaiba! Explain yourself! How dare you encourage Mokuba to play ill-natured tricks on Yugi."

"It's not a prank, it's practice."

"What could excuse abusing Yugi's good nature in this way? Lying to him, letting him think you'd changed then making some sort of game with him as the butt of it… Yugi would never…"

"According to you, Yugi would never do a lot of things – and you know what? I don't give a shit. When Yugi has a younger brother to protect, then come back and yell. Until then, you can both shut the fuck up."

"Stop trying to justify it!"

"I don't have to try. I'm teaching Mokuba how to steal phones and hack into them without being noticed so that if he's ever grabbed again, I can lock onto his kidnapper's cell phone to locate him."

Yami stared at him, open mouthed.

"Why else would I bother with the loser squad? Do you know what happens when I rescue Mokuba? He apologizes for being a burden. I can't allow that. I've been teaching him self-defense, but until he gets bigger, he's not going to be able to take down multiple assailants. So I've been training him to use the skills he has."

"If you needed help, you should have asked Yugi."

"The whole point was to see if Mokuba could steal their phones and return them without being noticed. Asking them in advance would have invalidated the entire exercise. Hmnnnn…."

"_Their_ phones? Just how many times have you two done this?" Yami asked. Kaiba ignored his question and Yami didn't press the point.

"Good idea," Kaiba said. "Since Yugi wants to be _so_ helpful, here's something he can do. Maybe it'll take his mind off messing with our affairs. Go ahead and tell him that Mokuba will be trying to steal his phone. It'll be a good level up for Mokuba. Let's see if he can take their phones when they know enough to look out for him."

Yami could remember all the times Mokuba had been kidnapped… could remember racing frantically through the streets of Domino after him at Battle City, could still feel the impossible to choke down lump that had formed in his throat when he'd realized that Mokuba had been stolen from right under his nose at Duelists Kingdom.

"I should have known your reasons wouldn't be frivolous. I underestimated you," Yami admitted.

Kaiba shrugged. "Why wouldn't you put Yugi's interests above everything else? He's your partner, your other self. I'm just… well whatever the hell I am, it's not Yugi. You've made that clear."

"Different doesn't mean less important." Yami felt disloyal, but suddenly he knew it was true… and that it had to be said. Yami wondered if this had been what Kaiba had been wanting to hear all along.

Kaiba stared at him, unsure what to say. "That's not what you seemed to think a minute ago."

"And you didn't seem to care."

Kaiba grunted in response.

Yami weighed demanding words, but he was tired. Yami didn't mind provoking a fight, as Yugi had suggested, but he was no longer sure what he was fighting against or for. He wanted this day to be over, he wanted to sleep and try again tomorrow. "I have to head out," he said.

Kaiba stared at him. Now that Yami was walking towards the door, Kaiba didn't want him to leave. "Where are you going?"

"Home. I think I've made enough of a mess of things for one day." Yami was glad he had a long walk home. As long as he was between destinations, he wouldn't have to face Yugi's expectations; he didn't have Kaiba towering over him, ready to give him a fight every time he needed one.

As he opened the door, Kaiba called out, "Are you coming back?"

Yami turned and smiled at that. "I'll see you Friday."

Kaiba nodded. "I'll be here."

It was only after the door closed that Kaiba dropped his head into his hands. He'd promised himself after Battle City that he'd never to ask Yami for anything ever again. Kaiba wondered what would happen now that he'd broken that vow.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I think at this point Kaiba really does want reassurance that Yami cares about him, that he's not alone in this. The problem is reassurance isn't something Kaiba believes he should want - and it's certainly something he's never gotten. As a result, he doesn't even realize it's what he's reaching for and he's trying to get it in ways that are almost guaranteed to sabotage any chance of it ever happening.

When writing a romance involving Kaiba, it's pretty easy to have him be the main obstacle because his trust and intimacy issues are so large and in your face. But I also wanted to show that Yami is also contributing to the mess their making of things. Yami is so caught up in what Yugi would want in his place and what Yugi thinks he should want, that he can't figure out what he wants for himself. And until he does that, he's not going to know whether or not he wants Kaiba. At the same time, he seems to show up at Kaiba Corporation a lot when he's frustrated and wants a fight or something…

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal at .com.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) Your comments help me figure out what's missing, what's working and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review. **_


	21. Mr Lucky

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 21: MR. LUCKY**

MR. LUCKY: Romance, circa 1943. What starts out as a light-hearted Cary Grant comedy turns into a tear-jerker when the title character decides he doesn't deserve his own happiness.

_MORAL: Movies always center on falling in love. But sometimes, learning to accept that you are loved is where the real story lies._

* * *

It had started slowly at first. A report of a drug plane captured in one country, an illegal weapons dealer arrested with his cargo in another. Mokuba had been with Kaiba when the first stories broke. The slight, satisfied smirk had been enough to tip Mokuba off. He'd stayed with his brother throughout the day, as a hastily written program searched the news feeds and popped the relevant stories on the monitor. Mokuba could follow the reports in English, Chinese and French. Kaiba had translated the rest. They'd finally gone home, where the program ran in their living room; the only difference was they could sit on the couch and watch… until Mokuba had fallen asleep. Every time he woke up, he saw his brother, watching the monitor, checking each report off against the tally in his head.

The next day, Mokuba didn't bother to ask his brother if he'd slept. Mokuba knew he hadn't. By the time they'd finished breakfast, a reporter had looked at the scattered reports and realized that through an odd coincidence, the captured planes had all been a Kaiba Corporation product – a lightweight plane with stealth features, perfectly designed for distributing illicit cargo – and that the supposedly secure tracking system had suddenly and dramatically failed. No one was quite sure why.

Mokuba looked at Kaiba. Kaiba shrugged. "The cipher scrambling the location data had an expiration date."

Mokuba smiled. "I'm proud of you, Nisama."

And that was when Kaiba's mood turned ugly. "Don't be. I was the one who designed the damn thing in the first place. Stopping them won't undo a single death. That's nothing to be proud of."

Mokuba didn't answer. They headed for the car in silence. Kaiba started driving. Kaiba didn't argue when Mokuba refused to go to school. His silent acceptance of Mokuba's determination to stay by his side worried Mokuba more than anything else Kaiba could have done. Yesterday had been his brother's greatest victory. Mokuba was worried how his brother would choose to celebrate.

Mokuba stole a glance at his brother. Nothing in Kaiba's austere face or bearing suggested he wanted to talk, but Mokuba tried anyway.

"You shouldn't blame yourself. Gozaburo was the one who sold those planes, not you."

"I'm the one who designed them, Mokuba. I was willing to accept blood money."

"For me."

"No. Not entirely. I was the one who picked Gozaburo, not you. How he'd made his fortune wasn't a secret. But I wanted enough power and money to ensure that I could control my life without anyone's interference. I thought it would make us safe."

"You didn't know what would happen!"

"I should have. The pieces were all there in front of me. It was my choice… they were all my choices."

Mokuba bit his lip. It wasn't that simple. His Nisama might have studied Gozaburo before that chess game, but in every way that mattered, he hadn't had a clue what he was getting himself into. But that was the one thing Mokuba could never bring himself to say. Kaiba needed to believe he'd been in control the whole time more than Mokuba needed to convince him that he was wrong.

They rode in silence for the rest of the way. Mokuba worked in Kaiba's office for a while then went to his own to hammer out some remaining tournament details.

Yami hadn't seen the news. He seldom watched it unless Sugoroku was drawing his attention to some item – and Sugoroku was much more interested in archaeological findings than current events. Besides, they had both been in the store all day. It was afternoon by the time Yami headed out.

Yami had needed a day off from Kaiba before facing him again. His first attempt at "talking" had been a disaster and Yami wasn't used to failure. The strategic move would be to wait for late at night when they were in Kaiba's room, in the one time and place where Kaiba felt safe enough to let down his guard a little. But Yugi was right. Yugi and Anzu didn't need strategy. They shouldn't either. Yami squared his shoulders, entered the Kaiba Corporation building and went upstairs.

Mokuba was in the hallway as Yami got off the elevator. Mokuba stared at Yami, his eyebrows disappearing into his hair as he raised them in surprise. Mokuba had wanted to talk to Yami and in Mokuba's experience, that kind of accidental meeting usually took a lot of planning. Mokuba nodded to Yami, pleased when the Yami followed him into his office. Then Yami closed the door and Mokuba realized he had no idea what to say.

Mokuba frowned. His brother kept insisting that Yami didn't care. Mokuba didn't agree. Yami stayed over a lot; he seemed to generally like Kaiba's company. It didn't seem to be just about… well… sex. (Mokuba squirmed at the thought of using that word in connection with his brother.) Kaiba was sure that was all it was, he'd pointed out to Mokuba that Yami had never denied it. But Mokuba knew that when it came to Yugi and his friends, his brother was wrong far more often than he was right. And Yami had no idea he was about to walk into a minefield. "It's not like he can't take care of himself," Mokuba mumbled.

"Mokuba?" Yami asked.

Mokuba flushed; he hadn't meant to speak out loud. "Well, you can," he insisted.

"Of course I can. Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm glad, that's all." Mokuba frowned. The question he wanted to ask was: _'Can you take care of my brother, too?'_ But Mokuba couldn't force the words out, even though this was Yami and Mokuba was getting used to talking to him.

Yami frowned. "If you have something to say, just spit it out already."

Mokuba's lips twisted. He shrugged. "Nothing. I mean, my brother explained everything to me… well, from his point of view anyway. He's convinced all you guys got going is a rivals with benefits type of thing… that you don't really care..."

Yami groaned. "Let me put you on a conference call with your brother and Yugi. You can all have fun discussing what I feel and how much I don't care to your heart's content!"

The office door slammed as Yami stormed out.

Mokuba bit his lip. He sat at his desk for a moment, looking down without seeing any of the papers on it. He'd gotten his answer, at least in part. Whatever Yami had told his brother, or whatever his brother had misunderstood, Yami cared, probably more than either was willing to admit. Yami was also spoiling for a fight. Mokuba shook his head and got back to work. A fight would be fine. It would clear the air. It might even rouse his brother out of his funk.

Yami scowled and headed for Kaiba's office. He was sick of both Kaiba brothers. No matter how far Yami thought they'd all come, he always wound up back at the starting line, as if no time had passed since he'd been reborn. As if he was still the same person who'd stared at the Egyptian sand longing for the death he'd been cheated of. As if neither he nor they had changed and the long hard road leading from Egypt to this moment when he was angrily striding towards Kaiba's office had never been walked.

He glared at Kaiba's secretary when she held up a hand to stop him as he approached her desk.

"Let me buzz you in," she said, as aware as Yami that this was a break from her usual routine. But unlike Yami, she'd seen the news. Her boss had been, even by his standards, in a foul mood. She'd have been less worried if he'd yelled or thrown things. His icy silence unnerved her, as did the hot, childish sense of hurt that seeped out around the edges of his control. She hoped the sight of his only friend would help, but she knew enough to give Kaiba a moment to compose himself, to erect whatever barrier he needed before facing Yami. She nodded to Yami to go in.

He thrust open Kaiba's door with a snap.

Kaiba didn't look up, evidently finding his computer screen more interesting than Yami's arrival. Kaiba's only acknowledgment was to turn off the television monitor. It had been in Chinese. Yami stared without interest at a video of people unloading something from a plane as the screen went dark.

"Kaiba!" Yami called out as he closed the door.

Kaiba looked up briefly, then focused back on his computer.

Yami scowled. They were back to the same old game where Kaiba pretended he was too busy to notice Yami's appearance. "So how's business? It must be booming to occupy so much of your attention," Yami said in a falsely polite voice.

Kaiba's already pale face whitened. "Is that a joke?" Kaiba hissed.

"Of course it is. Everything's a joke or a game to you, isn't it?"

"Everything from chess to the blood-soaked wars of the human race," Kaiba repeated hollowly. "And I was a fool to forget that even for a minute."

"Kaiba, is something wrong?" Yami asked, taking in his rival's ashen face and bleak expression.

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. "What could possibly be wrong? I'm the guy who gets what he wants, whatever the cost."

"I'm giving you one last chance to be honest, to tell me what you're feeling," Yami warned.

"I'm the great Seto Kaiba. I don't feel."

Yami laughed. "Are we back to that? Here's a newsflash to rival anything on that television: You feel. You're just afraid to admit it during the day because that would violate one of your nonsensical rules. But secretly you live for those moments when you can confess that you're human… when you have someone to listen." Yami's voice dropped. " I know because I'm the same."

Kaiba broke into Yami's speech, his furious voice drowning out Yami's final words. "I'm not going to be indebted to you again! That's what you want isn't it? For things to go back to the old status quo where you had all the answers – or you thought you did. Well, I dragged my ass out of that pit and I'm not tumbling back in."

"A grudge and a debt. I should have known! That's all this has ever been to you, hasn't it?"

"Of course," Kaiba replied instantly. It wasn't true, or at any rate it hadn't been true for a long time, but having tossed the words out, Kaiba wasn't going to take them back.

Yami ground his teeth. He'd come here to fight it out with Kaiba if necessary to get to the truth. Instead, Kaiba had trapped him in another endless round of petty bickering.

"If that's the way you want it," Yami snapped. "I had hoped that you had changed, but maybe I was seeing something that was never really there. You're the same heartless loser you were when we met. I'm disappointed in you – and in myself for expecting better."

Kaiba shrugged. "That's hardly anything new. You've always been disappointed in me, you always will be."

"How dare you say that! Don't push your own fears and doubts off on me, Seto Kaiba! Stand up and face them instead."

"Like you do? Come off it. You keep whining about what an awful person you were as if you're still about to call down penalty games."

"You don't understand. My anger killed!"

"So did mine," Kaiba said, glancing at the now dark television monitor as if his complicity in murder and violence was still being broadcast throughout the room in seven different languages. He'd created those weapons, those planes, those missiles in anger, pouring every ounce of his hatred for Gozaburo into their design. He'd taken his rage out on the rest of the world… and it had killed. "If you don't believe you can be any different, how can I expect you to do anything besides look at me and see the twisted, contemptible creature you faced at Death-T?"

"You son of a bitch! You know that's not true! Do you really believe that people can't change – or is it just that you're afraid to? You're the one who's afraid to trust, who has to twist everything into an excuse for never believing in anyone or anything. That's what makes you a pathetic loser, not all the times I've defeated you."

Once Kaiba had stood on Pegasus' tower and dared Yami to push him off. Once Yami had said that he'd never back down. Unfortunately neither had learned as much since that day as they'd hoped.

Kaiba's eyes narrowed to slits. "Big talk for someone who goes through life like a dead pharaoh walking. You keep saying I'm the one who's afraid of living, who thinks defeat equals death. But only one of us was ready to follow through on that, was ready to lose a duel and die – and it wasn't me!"

"What?" Yami gasped, white-lipped.

"You were planning on walking right into the afterlife that day, weren't you? You were going to leave us without a backwards glance, as if we were a speed bump on your way to your death. You were going to commit suicide by Yugi." Kaiba threw back his head again and laughed. "I love it."

Yami shut his eyes, feeling the blood rushing to his head. It left him dizzy yet effervescent, like a soda bottle about to pop open. He could almost feel the power gathering the way it always did before he called a penalty game. That magic was gone, but the feeling, the heady self-righteous rage, the desire to wound, to punish, remained. It howled for an outlet, demanded its release.

Yami reached out and jerked Kaiba forward before throwing Kaiba back against his chair. Yami leaned in closer. Despite his anger – or maybe because of it – Yami reacted to the other's nearness, suddenly aware of how close Kaiba's lips were, of how his rival's breath was teasing the top of his own mouth with each exhale. Yami straddled Kaiba, pressing him deeper into the soft leather, and took his mouth, thrusting his tongue insistently inside, as much to drown out Kaiba's words as for the relief he felt as Kaiba welcomed his attack.

Yami lifted his head, dazed. Kaiba's bark of laugh jerked his attention back to his opponent. "You're finally being honest, Yami. What we're sharing isn't friendship; you can't even pretend it is. We like to fuck each other senseless, that's all."

Yami jumped back. "Even that's not worth it anymore."

"Oh yeah? That's not what you thought ten seconds ago." Kaiba's eyes had darkened, had turned liquid. They drew Yami towards him.

Yami took a step further back instead. "I'm not listening to anything a coward like you has to say. I don't know why I ever did, why I ever thought we could have something more. Yugi was right about us."

"Yugi's always right isn't he? Once you had to admit that destiny wasn't real, that fate had let you down, you decided to cling to that miserable little runt instead!"

"How dare you insult Yugi! That miserable little runt – as you just called him – is the man who saved your life and your brother's."

"Leave my brother out of this!"

"Why? You don't! You never hesitate to drag him into every reprehensible plan you can come up with!"

"That's because he's my partner, and you aren't!"

"I could say the same about you!"

"I never pretended anything else! What about you? Maybe it's time for you to face some facts, too," Kaiba hissed. "You're afraid of everything, yourself most of all. You're even scared to admit that you're not Yugi. And until you can do that, you're useless – not just to me, but to yourself as well!"

For a moment, all Yami felt was a pure burst of rage, sweeping everything clear. Its intensity shocked him to silence. For an instant, Kaiba's office disappeared as Yami stood there, shaking with the force of it, taking deep gasping breaths as he fought for control.

Then Yami shut his eyes, finally hearing all the things Kaiba had just screamed at him. Yami couldn't deny the grain of truth buried underneath the malice. He _was_ afraid of the person he'd been, the person Kaiba kept insisting he liked. The whole time he'd been with Kaiba, Yami had worried over what Yugi thought, had tried to force his feelings to match the ones Yugi told him he should have. He'd never thought about what he wanted for himself, or even whether Kaiba was who he wanted. He'd blamed Kaiba for his own indecision and anger; he'd let Yugi blame Kaiba as well. Yami had been so used to Kaiba being wrong, it had never occurred to Yami that he'd had a share in it as well.

Kaiba stared at Yami, unnerved by his silence. "What?" he roared.

"You're right," Yami said.

Kaiba's eyes widened. "What?"

"I was searching for an identity. And I ended up dragging you into something I had to settle on my own. Worse... Do you remember that day when you told me that I could attack you whenever I needed to unleash my anger? I argued, but I ended up doing it anyway, over and over. I can't use you that way."

"Why not?"

"Kaiba, don't you get how wrong that is?"

"Are you saying I can't handle anything you can dish out? Fuck you, Yami. I'm your equal! Do you hear that? Your equal!"

Yami shook his head. "I kept blaming you for not being open, but I wasn't offering anything better either, was I?"

"Maybe I don't want anything more!"

"Don't you?" Yami challenged.

"Nobody's dead. As far as interactions go, ours seems above average."

Yami stared at Kaiba. "You can't be serious," he said, although he knew Kaiba was. "Is that the sum of your expectations: that hopefully we won't murder each other?"

Kaiba dug his elbows into his desk and rested his chin on his steepled fingers. He smirked as if he'd just turned over the winning card. "It sure beats the alternative."

Yami's head drooped. So this was what defeat felt like. Kaiba couldn't – or wouldn't – understand. Yami refused to be a party to hurting Kaiba further. He couldn't risk it. And Yami was used to making sacrifices to protect the ones he loved.

It was strange, Yami thought, that this was the moment when he finally realized that he loved Seto Kaiba, deeply and irrevocably.

"I'm leaving," Yami said as he headed for the door.

"Coward," Kaiba spat out as he stood up and stepped away from his desk for the first time.

Yami turned at the door. "You don't get it. I came here today because I was mad. Because I wanted to fight, I wanted to yell. If I still had my old powers, I could have called down a penalty game. And I refuse to be that angry, vengeful spirit ever again."

Kaiba nodded. He glanced at the darkened television again. He'd turned off the news but it would never go away. How could he blame Yami for his anger? The surprise was that Yami had ever looked at him and felt anything else. "Believe me, I understand. I'd hoped… it doesn't matter, does it? I certainly don't deserve anything better."

"Yes, you do, and you don't even know it. I can't keep using you as my target any time I need something to attack. I don't want to keep hurting you because I'm mad at myself… and the worst part is you think that's okay. It's not. It isn't fair to either of us."

"I don't care."

Yami opened the door. "But you should. One of us has to." Yami closed the door quietly behind him and walked to the elevator without looking back.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and for being so steadily encouraging.**_

**ACKNOWLEDGEMENT:** Once again, Kaiba had to sound like an engineer. As always, I'm grateful to Splintered Star for helping me figure out about why stealth planes might suddenly become a lot less stealthy.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Okay, this is me hiding under my chair…

Often there's an assumption that if people are hurt there must be a bad guy. But Yami told Kaiba at Alcatraz that not all the demons they bring to a duel are contained in their decks. I thought that might be true for them in a relationship as well. I'm trying to write a story for where as many problems as Yami and Kaiba have, singly and together, there isn't a villain. Sometimes the external conflicts are the easiest ones to fight.

Good, bad or anything in between, I'd like to know what you think.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal at .com.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) Your comments help me figure out what's missing, what's working and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review. **_


	22. The Philadelphia Story

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 22: THE PHILADELPHIA STORY**

THE PHILADELPHIA STORY: Screwball comedy, circa 1940. By 1938, Hollywood screen legend Katharine Hepburn had been labelled "Box Office Poison." She moved back to New York City and the stage – and by 1939, she'd acquired the perfect comeback vehicle. In The Philadelphia Story, heiress Tracy Lord is facing a crisis as well: the breakup of her marriage to Cary Grant's C. K. Dexter Haven. Newspaper headlines fly by as Tracy plans and completes a search of her own: to find a potential second husband who's as different as possible from the first.

_MORAL: Whether you're staging a comeback or shifting directions, taking a moment to regroup is rarely a bad idea._

* * *

Yami lay in bed, waiting for dawn. He'd tried to sort through what had happened; he'd tried to avoid thinking about it at all. Neither strategy had worked. It was a relief when morning finally came. He watched as light started to slide its way into the room, as Yugi's body, still clutching the covers, lost its shadowed quality.

Yugi turned over and woke up. Yami sat up as well, glad to get out of bed and leave the pretense of sleep behind.

"I was surprised to see you here when I got home last night. I thought you were going to stay at Kaiba's," Yugi said.

"I walked out on Kaiba," Yami admitted. "We had a fight."

Yugi's eyes widened. "You mean you guys broke up?"

"I don't know. I got angry and Kaiba kept baiting me. It was a game to him, just like everything else." Yami shook his head. "That was all I could get out of him: that he was Seto Kaiba and he didn't care about anything."

"That's strange," Yugi said thoughtfully. "I would have thought Kaiba would have been happy – or gloating, anyway."

Yami brows drew together. "Why?"

Yugi stared at him. "Didn't you see it?"

"See what?" Yami asked.

"It was all over the news! Kaiba Corporation's stealth planes just… sort of un-stealthed themselves. They started broadcasting their coordinates to law enforcement agencies all over the globe. Gozaburo must really not have cared who he sold to: most of them were owned by drug dealers and black market arms dealers. The media seems to have come to the conclusion it was a design flaw that law enforcement agencies finally managed to exploit. We were all wondering how Kaiba did it."

"Damn him! I had no idea!" Yami paced back and forth in the narrow aisle between their beds. "He should have told me what he was feeling!"

Yugi's mouth dropped open. "Tell you what he was feeling? Are we talking about _Kaiba_?"

"He did sometimes though, late at night. He always tried to take it back the next day. We could have worked it out together. Instead…" Yami sat back on his bed. He dropped his head in his hands as he remembered how he had marched into Kaiba's office, ready to attack. He'd greeted Kaiba by asking, _"How's business?" _ Yami groaned. "Now, I understand."

"What?"

"Everything. It all comes back to the old Kaiba Corporation."

"But Kaiba did something good!"

"That doesn't matter. Kaiba expected – no, he pushed me to reject him. And I did exactly what he wanted."

"That doesn't make sense, even for Kaiba."

"I'm sure. I know him." Yami stopped short, an unconscious smile playing on his lips.

Yami went into the living room and turned on the television. Yugi followed. He sat down on the couch with Yami. It wasn't hard to find the story. Some commenters were content to discuss the current turn of events, others were focused on what they called " the Kaiba legacy." He saw Kaiba on one channel, briefly, releasing a statement taking responsibility for all Kaiba Corporation products. Kaiba didn't mention his efforts in reforming the company or his role in helping now. Yami wasn't surprised.

"I should have held on to my temper. I got so angry. For a minute I could feel power gathering and all I wanted to do was blast him with it. Kaiba thought that was funny. I had to leave. I can't be that person again. I can't go back. What if we get into another fight, and I do something worse?"

"You won't."

Yami dropped his head into his hands. "What if Pegasus was right?" Yami asked through his fingers. "What if the Millennium Items are evil? What if without you to guide me…"

"Bullshit!" Yugi threw the word down as if it was the challenge to a duel. Yugi's face wasn't made for stubbornness, but he managed to achieve it anyway. "I don't know why Pegasus said all that stuff. Maybe he was trying to convince himself that none of Duelists Kingdom was his fault. Maybe he was trying to mess with your head. Maybe he was so nuts he believed what he was saying. But he was wrong."

Yami looked up. "Was he? Kaiba set up a series of trap cards and I stumbled into them, one after another, until I was too furious to think of anything but punishing him. It was just like before."

"No it wasn't, Yami. You had a fight with someone who spends his life fighting with everyone."

"Kaiba's my friend. He was hurt. I made everything worse."

"You can't blame yourself for not knowing stuff he never told you."

Yami leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, palms up. He dropped his head back into his hands. "It doesn't matter. If I could get that mad at him, then I couldn't have cared for Kaiba, not really."

Yugi squeezed Yami's arm in place of an answer. Yugi had hoped everything would work out between Yami and Kaiba. He'd hoped that even when it didn't, Yami would be okay. Most of all, Yugi had hoped that Yami wouldn't blame himself when the whole unstable mess came crashing down.

But now it had, and Yugi didn't have a clue what to do, besides sitting next to Yami as he flipped through the channels. Yugi didn't mention they had a new prototype game from Kaiba Corporation. It was next to the television. He spent most of the morning staring at it, wondering if he could sneak it away before Yami noticed. Yugi was glad that neither of them were expected at the store. It meant he could sit here, curled up next to Yami for as long as Yami needed a companion. They watched the news in silence.

As the afternoon wore on, Yami glanced at the clock. "I thought you had a date with Anzu?" he asked.

"We were planning to go to the arcade and meet up with the gang later. It's a good thing you reminded me. I'll call and cancel."

"No! Don't do that."

"Are you crazy? She'll understand. Don't worry, I won't tell her anything you don't want me to."

Yami shook his head. "Go. I'll be fine. You were here when I needed you. We're two separate people. It's okay to be in different places. I have to believe that." Yami felt like a bit of a fraud, since he'd failed so spectacularly at the same test, but he would have felt worse if he'd left it unsaid.

"It's still weird being separated sometimes." Yugi hugged Yami and headed for their bedroom to change. He stopped before he'd quite left the room and added, "I should have known better than to worry about you. Even today, you're still being strong for me."

Unlike Yami, Kaiba had followed his usual Saturday routine. He'd gone to work at the regular time. He'd set up a press announcement for the morning; there was no point in delaying. He'd issued a statement confirming that the planes had been built by the Kaiba Heavy Machinery Corporation, the company he'd inherited and razed. Kaiba hadn't taken any questions.

He headed upstairs from the conference hall and hunkered down at his desk with a stack of distribution plans and production reports. It was pointless to waste time wondering if Yami would call. It was Saturday. He wouldn't. Yami was busy with his friends and his life. Kaiba had been a weekday affair, something tossed aside like a briefcase or a schoolbag when the weekend came.

Kaiba pushed the reports aside, giving up all pretense of working. He rested his chin on his steepled fingers and stared into space. The crash had come on Friday, but the trainwreck had started to roll on Wednesday. Yami had been about to leave. Kaiba had asked when he was planning to return.

Kaiba had asked.

Asking was a weakness. Kaiba had known that ever since he'd been five and had asked when his mother was coming home. You only asked for things you couldn't control, things you were bound to lose anyway. Kaiba had promised himself never to ask Yami for anything again, as if that could erase the days he'd spent chasing Yami through the streets at Battle City demanding a duel. But as Yami had walked towards the door, Kaiba had broken that vow.

Kaiba shivered, wondering if he'd summoned up Yami's flight as if it was a monster in his deck. He pressed his lips together. Superstition was for the weak. It was the same bitter, childish game he'd played when he was five and wondered what he'd done to make his mother disappear, the game he'd repeated three years later with his father. He was an adult now. It was time to stop.

Kaiba was alone. There was no one to see his moment of exhaustion. He dug the palms of his hands into his eyes.

Kaiba smiled briefly, remembering their last almost-date. Yami had insisted on barging into Kaiba's weekend as though he belonged. As Yami had pointed out, it hadn't been a date; Mokuba's presence had precluded that. But it had felt like a date anyway, or as close as Kaiba had ever planned to come and he personally didn't see anything wrong with bringing Mokuba along even if it _had_ been a date. Kaiba had liked spending the evenings with Yami in his house, the nights with Yami in his bedroom. But each morning it had all vanished, like streetlights winking out as the sun rose.

Yami had wanted to wake up with the Kaiba he went to bed with at night. Life didn't work that way, Kaiba couldn't switch gears that quickly or completely. Maybe Yami didn't care enough about Kaiba to listen. Maybe Yami would never have understood. Maybe this week would have killed any chance they'd had, maybe Friday had been one crime too many, one revelation too much. But as he sat in his unlit office with his head in his hands, Kaiba had to admit that he didn't know if Yami would have listened, if he would have cared, if he would have understood.

Because Kaiba had never explained.

Kaiba threw papers randomly in his briefcase and stood up. He'd kept his schedule. It was time to go home.

Mokuba met him at the door of the mansion. "Where's Yami? I thought maybe he'd stop by or something." Mokuba hadn't wanted to ask when they'd left the office without Yami the night before. Now, Yami's continued absence worried him.

"He's gone."

"He ran out on you?"

"Nothing so undignified as running."

"Because of all this? I don't believe it!"

"I don't know. He wasn't making any sense. We had a fight. A bad one, I guess. I'm not sure how these things are measured." Kaiba paused and ran a hand through his hair. It flopped back into place, hiding his eyes again. "Maybe, in spite of everything, he never stopped thinking of me as the guy who wasn't worthy of his Blue Eyes White Dragon, as the man behind Death-T."

"The bastard said that?" Mokuba yelled.

"No. He didn't even mention the planes. He started ranting about penalty games. He kept saying that he didn't want to hurt me. Then he left. How could that be the reason?" Kaiba shrugged. "He seemed to think he was helping somehow. Like I said, it didn't make sense."

Mokuba put a hand on Kaiba's arm. "Maybe he'll come back and explain."

Kaiba shook his head. "If he does, it won't be until Monday. He's probably busy with his friends."

Mokuba stuck his chin out. "_You're_ his friend. He should be with you."

Kaiba frowned. He was tired of thinking about Yami and whether he'd return. "Come on, let's go swimming. It's still warm enough," he said instead.

Kaiba wanted to do something until he was exhausted. Swimming laps would suffice. Mokuba nodded and raced upstairs to get into his trunks. Kaiba followed more slowly. He went into his bedroom. He thought of Yami as he pulled on his wetsuit; he'd worn it the two times they'd come closest to dating.

Kaiba made sure his face was composed before he left his room. He'd been right when he'd told Yami a week ago that there were some things Mokuba didn't need to see.

Yami had been in bed when Yugi had come home on Saturday night. But Yugi wasn't surprised when he woke up alone in their room on Sunday morning. He went downstairs to find Yami sitting on the couch watching the news on television. Yami had turned the sound down, but pictures of Seto Kaiba were interspersed with pictures of his captured planes.

"How are you?" Yugi asked as he sat down next to Yami.

"I don't know. I'm sick of not knowing… of asking, 'What do I do now?' and never being sure of the answer." Yami shivered, suddenly seeing the expanse of empty sand in the moment after Pluto had vanished, taking Yami's destiny with him, leaving Yami with nothing but his life. Yami swallowed and looked down, struggling with a sense of loss, as if no time had passed, as if he'd never left Egypt.

"Yami!" Yugi said, grabbing his partner's arm.

The desert disappeared like the mirage it had been. Yami was sitting in the Mutou's slightly shabby living room again.

"Most of the news reports are supporting Kaiba's decision to stop designing weapons," Yugi pointed out.

"That won't matter to him." Yami sighed. "He's going through this alone."

"It sounds like that's what he wanted," Yugi said.

Yami shook his head but didn't answer.

Yugi tried again. "He pushed you away."

"And I went. I keep remembering all the things that Kaiba ever said to me: _'Prove to me that unity is more powerful… show me this miracle of friendship…' _ I once knew how to translate Kaiba's pronouncements; I knew how to take them for the challenges they were. Somehow, once we had sex, I forgot it all."

Yugi put his hand on Yami's shoulder.

Yami shifted slightly on the couch. His hands twisted together. "I feel like I'm stuck on one of Kaiba's anti-gravity rides. And all I want to do is put my feet on solid earth, without wondering when the ground will be cut out from under me." Yami drew in a breath and then exhaled. "I've always been afraid to lose and now it's all I see."

"You're the same awesome person you've been all along, whether you're seeing Kaiba or not!"

"But who is that?"

"You're the guy who saved the world more than once, the guy who gave up everything to keep people safe. You're my partner. You're Anzu, Jounouchi and Honda's friend. You're part of my family. I love you."

"I love you too, Yugi," Yami replied, wondering why it was so much easier to say to Yugi.

Yugi briefly squeezed Yami's clasped hands. "A break-up doesn't change any of that. And anyway, people break up all the time."

"They do? But you and Anzu…"

"Not us! At least, I hope not. But at school kids think they like each other and then find out they were wrong. Look at how many girls Honda has fallen for who wouldn't give him the time of day and a week later, he's into someone else."

Yami's brows drew together. There was no escaping the conclusion: Yugi was wrong. Yami had made mistakes beyond count, but Kaiba himself wasn't one of them.

Both boys stopped talking when Sugoroku came into the room. Sugoroku glanced at the television, before heading into the kitchen to get breakfast ready. Yami and Yugi drifted in to help. It wasn't until Yugi was working on his homework and Yami was helping Sugoroku set up the store that Sugoroku said, "I'm surprised you didn't visit Kaiba yesterday, given all that's happened."

"We had a fight on Friday. I guess we broke up," Yami said glumly.

"What? Broke up?" Sugoroku stared at him. He scratched his head. "You mean you were…" he paused, trying to think of the words to finish the sentence. None of the possibilities… dating… seeing each other romantically… shacking up… seemed to fit.

"I suppose so."

"And it's over now?" Sugoroku asked.

"I don't know. I was never sure how to describe what we had; now I don't know if it's ended."

"What happened? I know it wasn't because of the news."

Yami's lips twisted. "I didn't see the news on Friday."

Sugoroku held his hands out, palms up. "I didn't watch until later, either. I meant to turn it on when I finished at the store, but there was a special on Egypt. They were interviewing Richard Hawkins! I didn't find out until Yugi came home. That's right, you were in bed by then."

Yami smiled, a slight upturn of the lips that disappeared before it had fully arrived. "We're probably the only two people in Domino who hadn't heard the news. I don't know what to do. Kaiba's facing this alone. How can I act as if he was a casual acquaintance? Before this started… we were friends, first. Now I'm not even being that." Yami hung his head; golden stalks of hair covered his face, briefly. "Maybe it was inevitable, I never felt like Yugi does about Anzu."

The store was empty. Sugoroku walked to the door, and hung up a sign that said, "Be back in a half-hour." He locked the door, then led Yami to the storeroom in the back. They sat down amid the boxes.

"I'm listening…" Sugoroku said.

"Without Yugi I would have been lost. When I first became conscious… I caused so much damage… I hurt so many people and I didn't even know what I was fighting for or against. I'd forgotten more than my name. I no longer remembered that I was human."

"A lot of those people were dangerous."

Yami paced the narrow confines of the stockroom. "I couldn't tell the difference between a murderer holding a room hostage and a bunch of kids stealing a bazaar booth or an eleven year old scared for his brother. And I didn't care. I lived to punish, lived for those moments when I was playing my penalty games. Even after I met Yugi, even after I thought I'd changed, I would have let Kaiba die at Duelists Kingdom, broken on the ground under Pegasus' tower."

"You were trying to save me," Sugoroku reminded him.

"No. It started out that way, but I won't pretend I was guided by anything so noble by the end of the duel. The only thing left in my heart was the fear of losing." Yami shook his head, refusing to look at Sugoroku. The older man reached out and grabbed his hand.

"In many ways, I'm ashamed of the person I was," Yami confessed in a whisper.

Sugoroku tightened his grip.

"But Kaiba isn't," Yami said.

Sugoroku's face scrunched up. His resemblance to Yugi was even more pronounced.

Yami smiled. "Kaiba liked the parts of myself that I've tried to hold at arm's length. I summoned my anger as if it was a duel monster, and it came as faithfully. It ran through me, invaded every pore, became a poisonous cloud that reached down my throat to choke me. And all I could think of was hurting Kaiba in return, punishing him for making me face my own fury, for reminding me..."

"What?"

"Reminding me that I'm not Yugi."

"He's right. You're not Yugi. You're Yami. And that's how it should be."

Yami shook his head. "If we _had _fought that ceremonial duel, Yugi would have won because Yugi's always recognized there are things more important than victory."

"Do you regret not having the chance to have that duel?"

"I don't know. I'm here. Despite everything, I've come to value my life. Kaiba succeeded. And as always, it was to his cost. Does that mean he won or that he lost? Did I?"

"Isn't being friends with him enough?"

"It should be." Yami drew in a breath and exhaled as sharply. "But it isn't. When I left on Friday, I was so certain I was doing the right thing. Now I don't know anything any more. All I know is I abandoned a friend… and I want him back."

Sugoroku pressed his lips together. He straightened his bandana before turning back to Yami. "It's natural to feel this way after a fight like the one you just had… to think only about the good parts… to want to get back together, even. You need to stop and remember why you left in the first place. I know you didn't do it lightly or frivolously. Then ask yourself if seeing Kaiba is the best thing for either of you."

"If destiny doesn't exist, how will I know?"

"I've found sleeping on things helps," Sugoroku said.

"I've done that and been no closer to knowing what I want upon waking for two days now."

"They say that the third time's the charm," Sugoroku offered with a smile as he got up to reopen the store.

They worked together for the rest of the day. Yugi had finished his homework by the time they got back.

"I see you're looking better!" Yugi said as they came in the door.

Yami nodded and summoned up a smile. It was a weak effort, but it was there. "Your grandfather's as wise as you are."

"I guess it's a good thing I never asked Yugi if Anzu had a cousin for you," Sugoroku joked.

"Grandpa!" Yugi yelped.

Sugoroku raised his hands in mock surrender.

Yami smiled. "I'm glad you refrained, as well." He didn't want Anzu or her mythical cousin. His lips turned downwards. He wanted Kaiba. And he'd never told Kaiba that. He'd never even told himself.

Yugi beamed at them both. "Don't worry, Yami. Kaiba's still your friend. That's not going to change, however bad you feel right now. It's like you're stuck in the worst part of a duel, where all you can think is how you're going to lose."

"You think I've lost a duel?" Yami asked. That was what breaking up felt like: pure and utter defeat. It was still a shock to hear Yugi say it so calmly.

"No! It's like the setback that comes in the middle, when you're at the point where everything feels like it's falling apart. And that's when you have to take a step back and think things through. I know you, Yami. You're going to dig down into yourself and go on to win."

Yami's eyebrows drew together. He pursed his lips.

Yugi looked like a baby prune when he did that. Yami looked insightful and deep.

Then Yami's brow cleared. Yugi was right again, just like Yami was used to Yugi being. Throwing in the towel was a defeat. It was time to change his strategy so they could win.

"Thanks, partner!" Yami said. The corners of his mouth tilted upwards. He gave Yugi a quick hug.

Yugi's answering smile was a trifle uncertain. Yami looked happier. But Yugi had the uncomfortable suspicion that what he'd said and what Yami had heard had been two very different things.

* * *

.

_**Thank you to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Kaiba and Yami fell into a relationship without ever quite getting to the point of admitting it had happened. Now that it's blown up in their faces, I can see them taking a step back and trying to figure out what just happened – and I can definitely see Yami being better at that kind of introspection than Kaiba. (Then again, it's hard to imagine anyone being worse at introspection than Seto Kaiba!)

I have to admit it was fun to immediately follow up Yami calling Sugoroku, "wise," with Sugoroku making a silly joke about considering setting Yami up with Anzu's hypothetical cousin.

_Note to RSC:_ Thank you for commenting. In accordance with FFNet's policy, I reply to all anonymous reviews on my LiveJournal and Dreamwidth accounts. The information is listed below.

**Tumblr Note:**I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal and Dreamwidth accounts. My username is Nenya85 in both places.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) I try to write the story in my head to the best of my ability – but it's incredible to get a glimpse of how it looks to someone who's reading it. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review. **_


	23. Persuasion

**_To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think._**

* * *

**CHAPTER 23: PERSUASION**

PERSUASION: I have a dilemma here. Do I say classic novel by the great Jane Austen, circa 1817 or romantic movie, circa 1995 or 2007? Regardless of the version, at some point the heroine decides, "She should yet have been a happier woman in maintaining the engagement, than she had been in the sacrifice of it."

_MORAL: Whatever the century, the question remains the same. Are you in or out?_

* * *

Fighting was nothing new, but Yami had never walked out before. Kaiba had gotten through the weekend by reminding himself that he couldn't expect Yami to call until it was over.

Now it was Monday morning and Kaiba had run out of excuses.

Kaiba groaned and got out of bed. He had a full day of work at Kaiba Corporation ahead. He emerged from his bedroom to find Mokuba waiting downstairs by the front door … without his bookbag. Kaiba didn't bother mentioning that it was a school day. Isono was standing next to Mokuba, looking as deferential as ever.

"What are you doing here?" Kaiba snarled.

"Driving you to work."

"Damn you! Do you think I can't drive myself?"

"I think you shouldn't have to."

Mokuba put his hand on his brother's arm. "Please. I want to sit in the back seat with you."

Kaiba pressed his lips together. He didn't answer. But he swept out of the door and straight into the backseat of the limousine, allowing Isono's silent show of support. Mokuba said his brother's name tentatively a couple of times, but he didn't press the issue when his brother remained silent. Mokuba slid his hand into his brother's, smiling slightly when Kaiba's hand tightened in response.

They got out of the limousine and headed upstairs. Kaiba nodded in Tamashiro's direction without quite registering her existence. He went into his office alone.

Kaiba had spent most of his time with Yami preparing for the day when Yami would desert him. He'd expected every time Yami had gotten mad in his office, or after Yami had reconciled with Yugi, or after they'd had sex, or after Yami had found out just how deeply Kaiba had been involved with the old Kaiba Corporation's business. And each time Kaiba had expected Yami to give up, Yami had hung tough instead, until Kaiba had gotten used to it.

And then Yami had walked out, just when Kaiba had started to hope he'd stay.

With the news full of Kaiba Corporation's complicity in worldwide drug and weapons trafficking, Kaiba couldn't even blame him. Perhaps he should be grateful to Yami for distracting him from the news reports Kaiba kept running as if they were a new form of background music.

Kaiba went back to the conference room in the afternoon and held the expected follow-up press conference to Saturday's announcement. He issued another curt statement acknowledging Kaiba Corporation's role in creating weapons. He left without taking questions. The reporters still weren't looking past his age. They saw a teenager and cut him a lot of slack. Kaiba hated them for it.

Most of the stories praised him for turning Kaiba Corporation around. Kaiba found them even more offensive than the ones that didn't bother to separate his legacy from Gozaburo's.

Most days, Kaiba had a hard time doing that himself.

It was easy to reject the values of a man you hated. But what if Gozaburo had treated them decently, had welcomed them, even? Would he have fought so hard to change Kaiba Corporation? Or would he have shrugged off the deaths he was causing as an acceptable price for the receipt of a family?

There was no one in his office to see; Kaiba leaned his chin in his cupped hands and stared into space, something he would never have been allowed to do when Gozaburo had ruled his corporation. Kaiba remembered Gozaburo outlining his expectations of his heir. Kaiba had barged into his adoptive father's office the day before, protesting the way his virtual simulation system had been transformed into a military tool. He'd been thrown out. But Kaiba hadn't been naïve enough to think his only punishment would be a missed dinner and a sleepless night. The next morning he'd been delivered to Gozaburo's office and left to wait in the hallway. After an hour he'd been escorted inside and left alone with his adoptive father.

Kaiba had bowed in greeting He'd remained standing until Gozaburo had gestured to him to sit down. He'd known better than to offer unsolicited comments.

"It's taken long enough, but I'm finally starting to see a return on the resources I've poured into you, boy."

"I built that system to make people happy, to give kids like me a good childhood. It was_ mine_."

Gozaburo flicked his cigar. Ash rained down on Kaiba's head. It was cool, but it stung nonetheless. "Hold out your arm, boy."

Kaiba obeyed. Slowly, as Kaiba watched, Gozaburo ground out the lit end of his cigar on the sleeve of his adoptive son's jacket. Kaiba drew in a breath, then exhaled in relief. The cigar had been extinguished too quickly to burn anything but the cloth.

"You ruined your jacket. You're going to have to work harder to make up for it," Gozaburo said. Gozaburo twisted Kaiba's arm, his thumb covering the burn mark on Kaiba's sleeve as Gozaburo pressed down hard enough to leave a bruise. "This is _my_ jacket. Everything about you – from the clothes on your back to the thoughts in your head – is mine."

"I won't work for you," Kaiba said through gritted teeth.

"I think you will. Let's see what happens when I toss you aside and start in on your brother. How soon will it be before you come crawling back?"

"You don't want Mokuba. You never did."

"True, but if I don't have you, I'll have to make do with the left-overs."

"I'll..."

"What?" Gozaburo laughed. "You're a funny kid. What could you say that anyone would believe? People will be lining up to praise me when I keep your brother after chucking you out, nobly announcing he shouldn't have to suffer for your misdeeds. And no one will ask what those misdeeds were. You want control so badly? Here's something you get to decide. Who do I groom as my heir, you or your brother?"

Kaiba dropped his head.

"Good. An assistant will bring you your next project." Gozaburo's sudden blow knocked the boy off his seat. "Now pick yourself up off the floor and get out of my office. You have work to do."

Sometimes Kaiba wondered if that blow had sealed his determination to forge a different path.

It was the kind of question Kaiba could have imagined himself asking Yami as he held him late at night in the quiet darkness of his bedroom.

Kaiba groaned and closed his eyes... but all that did was make it easier to picture Yami: his face flushed, thrown back in exaltation, the arrogant smirk softening into something more intimate. Kaiba's tongue flicked out, re-tasting the sweetness of Yami's lips, the slight saltiness of his skin. Kaiba's arms closed around air, but he could feel Yami's slender body held to his, the tickle of Yami's hair against his cheek as they lay in bed at night. For an instant Kaiba could have sworn he could smell Yami's scent. Even in the silent office, he could hear Yami's voice rising in challenge or quieting into sadness as he said goodbye.

Kaiba opened his eyes to an empty room. He wasn't aware of opening his mouth until he heard his scream, an indecipherable vowel-mash of anger and longing. Kaiba stood up, grabbed his briefcase and flung it at the wall just as Mokuba opened the door. Mokuba stood stock-still on the threshold. Kaiba brushed past him, muttering something about coffee and air.

Yami woke up Monday, wondering if Sugoroku had been right. The only conclusion he'd come to for three days in a row was that he wanted to see Kaiba again. Maybe the answer was so simple, he'd overlooked it day after day.

Yami went into the store although Monday mornings were their quietest time and Sugoroku didn't need the help. Sugoroku smiled and handed him a broom when he entered. They both pretended not to notice that the floor had just been swept.

"The whole time, I kept thinking I'd wake up one morning and feel like Yugi. I'd find someone like Anzu. We'd never fight. And now we have." Yami stopped sweeping, rested his chin on the broom handle and looked at Sugoroku.

Sugoroku sighed. He leaned against the counter. "Eventually Yugi and Anzu will have a fight. Yugi's a kind, decent boy. But he's stubborn when he thinks he's doing the right thing – as stubborn as you or Kaiba, though he's quieter about it. Anzu's the same. Sooner or later they'll believe in different things and get in a fight over them. I'd hate for them to think they were doing something wrong when it happens."

"You want them to fight?" Yami put the broom behind the counter, then went to stand next to Sugoroku.

"I'm saying we won't know what their relationship is made of until it happens. Fighting is part of life. It's how you fight – and what you do afterwards – that matters."

Yami nodded. "I hope that's true. I don't know whether sleeping helped, but I've made a decision. I'm going to see Kaiba."

Sugoroku paused. What he had to say needed to be worded carefully. "Sex is a powerful, wonderful thing, almost miraculous in a way. But the first person you share it with isn't necessarily the last – or the one you're best suited for. Don't confuse wanting the feeling with wanting the person."

"But what if the person I want _is_ Kaiba?" Yami shrugged. "If I'm going to be anything to Kaiba, I have to be his friend first. And right now, I need to make sure my friend is all right, I need to let him know that I haven't forgotten him."

Ms. Tamashiro had worked for a foreign corporation that had decided to move its Asian operations headquarters to China. She'd gotten the job at Kaiba Corporation when its CEO had been in a coma. She'd been interviewed by his eleven year old brother. She'd never been sure why she'd said yes; with its CEO unconscious, Kaiba Corporation had been far from a safe bet. She was far too practical to be influenced by a frightened child who'd reminded her of her son. The fear she'd seen in Mokuba's eyes, the terror she'd responded to without meaning to, had been real. But as she'd gotten to know Mokuba better, she'd also wondered just how much of that day had been an act.

Then one day Kaiba had walked in like he'd never been away. He'd fired half of the office and all of the security staff except for Isono. She'd survived the purge. So had most of the other new hires, the ones that Mokuba had picked out.

She was still here. Her son was an adult. Her boss was a teenager. He was too skinny and showed up with dark smudges under his eyes from far too little sleep far too often. He'd never had a friend until the short kid with the weird eyes and the tri-colored hair had barged into his office.

Tamashiro smiled when she saw Yami walk out of the elevator. If her boss had ever needed a friend, today would be the day. "I'm sorry. Seto-sama isn't here," she said as Yami reached her desk. "I'm sure he'll be disappointed to have missed you."

"He's not here?" Yami repeated numbly.

She nodded. She was about to add that he could wait in her Kaiba's office when Mokuba walked into the hallway.

"Gone deaf, Yami? Try listening to something besides the sound of your own voice for once. We should have left you in Egypt."

Tamashiro drew in a breath, looking from one young man to the other. Like everyone else in the office, she was aware of all the different ways the older Kaiba got angry: the grumbling irritation, the frustrated snarls, the sudden, red-hot explosions, the ice cold fury reserved for those who threatened his brother or his corporation. She'd never seen Mokuba angry before and the sheer nastiness in his hissed sentences held her silent.

Then Mokuba turned to her and smiled, his eyes opened to their widest. "I'm sorry," he said, sounding like the naïve child he wasn't, and perhaps had never been, even on the day he'd interviewed her. "We're all a little on edge. I didn't mean to take it out on everyone else." His smile went up a few watts as he looked at Yami. "Want to step into my office for a minute?"

Yami turned back to Tamashiro and said, "Please tell Kaiba that I hope he's… that I'm… please give him my regards."

"I'll tell him you came to see him," Tamashiro promised.

Yami smiled briefly. "Thank you."

Tamashiro sighed as Yami entered Mokuba's office.

"Why'd you bother coming back, Yami? You felt like playing with my brother's head some more?" Mokuba said as soon as the door closed.

"I wanted to make sure Kaiba was okay."

"He's doing just fine without you. Nobody wants you."

Yami reddened but held onto his temper. Losing it with one Kaiba had been bad enough. "Your brother told you?"

"That you dumped him? Yeah. You both said it was just a game. I didn't believe that. I should have."

"Mokuba, I couldn't stay. That doesn't mean I don't care."

"Bullshit! Was it because of the news about the planes? How could you pretend you understood and then do this?"

Yami flushed. "I didn't know about the planes."

"What? It was all over the news for two days!"

"I don't watch the news."

Mokuba's eyes widened. "What are you talking about? Everybody watches the news! How else do you stay on top of things? My brother has a direct feed just to make sure he hears everything first."

"It never seemed important before. Yugi never watches unless he's trying to find out what the weather will be or when there's a dueling tournament, of course. And Sugoroku watches history and archaeology mostly." Yami frowned in concentration. "Anzu might watch the news."

"I get it. You're all a bunch of idiots who walk around with your eyes shut and your fingers in your ears."

Yami grimaced, but didn't argue.

"And now that you know, you feel bad. Boo hoo!"

"I wouldn't have fought with your brother if I'd known, but a fight was coming nonetheless."

"Why?"

"Because it wasn't a game. Maybe that was the problem. We both know how to play games."

"That's not good enough!"

"I took my anger out on him! That had to stop. I want what's best for Kaiba. I have to face the fact it might not be me."

"Did you ever think to ask my brother what _he_ wanted? Because I can tell you flat out, Nisama doesn't give a shit whether you get angry or not. I thought my brother's smile was coming back." Mokuba swallowed. He refused to cry. He glared at Yami, expecting an argument.

Yami frowned. He didn't answer. How could he tell Mokuba that his brother's willingness to be a target was part of the problem?

Mokuba slammed his fists on his desk in frustration. Talking to Yami was like talking to an overly earnest wall. "Why'd you do it? Why did you hurt him like that?" Mokuba swallowed again and turned away. "You know what? I don't give a fuck why you did it. My brother could have taught you a lot about living. It's a shame you refused to learn."

"Your brother is recklessly irresponsible with his life! That's part of what caused this." After defending Kaiba from Yugi and Sugoroku's unspoken accusations, and even from his own bitter thoughts, it was gloriously freeing to finally blame Kaiba for something.

"At least Nisama knows how to stand by his actions."

Yami crossed his arms and leaned back, his eyes glowing like red embers. "He's made enough bad decisions to have gotten practice at it."

"Oh yeah? Let's look at the stuff you're whining about having to decide: whether to live… whether to be with my brother. Once you made that choice, you also had a responsibility!"

"I know." Yami paused; his eyes had softened to the color of a fire that'd been banked. Yami sighed and said, "I'm trying to honor it. That's why I had to leave. It's the only way to keep him safe."

"What are you talking about?"

"You told me yourself how much damage I've caused in the past. Be honest, Mokuba – for how long did you have nightmares because of me?"

"That doesn't matter."

"It does to me! Your brother woke up screaming night after night for month after month following that first penalty game – and I didn't even know it had happened."

Mokuba's eyes narrowed. He took a step back. "I thought that was all over with. You mean that freaky magic shit is back?"

"No! But penalty games aren't the only way to inflict damage. Until I sort things out, how can I do anything but hurt Kaiba?"

"If you don't want to hurt him, then don't," Mokuba answered. "I don't get it… how can you be so confident you're doing the right thing with everything but him?"

For the second time in a week, Yami hung his head in defeat. He'd been trying to protect Kaiba, but Mokuba's anger was proof of how deeply he'd hurt the man he loved instead. All his sureness, all his skill had deserted him when it came to the things that mattered, like his heart, like Kaiba, like their lives.

"Please tell Kaiba I didn't want to hurt him."

Yami turned and went out the door. Once he had demanded answers from life. Now he was willing to settle for a direction. Yami hit the street and started wandering aimlessly, not ready to go home. He couldn't bounce back and forth from the Game Shop to Kaiba's office as if he was a yo-yo and Kaiba was his string. He finally ran out of sidewalk and stopped, surprised to find himself at the harbor as if that had been his destination all along. He leaned against the railing bordering the edge of the pier and stared at the water. He smiled, remembering Kaiba tracking him down the last time he'd been here. Yami glanced around, even though he knew no sports car was going to race up with its tires screeching, no rival was going to jump out and argue.

Kaiba had liked the person Yami had been when he'd first emerged from the Puzzle. Yugi had been terrified of that Yami… and it had been Yugi's fear that had pushed Yami into becoming a better man. Yugi's decency had managed to slow Yami's relentless pursuit of vengeance, had stalled his desire to punish in its tracks. Yami smiled again, thinking of Kaiba dangling from his helicopter or jetpacking out of a dragon-shaped plane. Kaiba would never be a brake on anyone's actions. Yugi was a safety net, Kaiba, a pair of scissors.

Kaiba had screamed at Yami that they were equals. Yami had agreed. It wasn't a compliment. Yami returned his gaze to the sea. If he needed a safety net, perhaps it was time for him to learn to sew.

Yugi and Sugoroku were waiting for Yami with dinner by the time he returned.

"So how did it go?" Yugi asked as they went to the table. "You were gone a while."

"Kaiba wasn't there. I talked to Mokuba instead." Yami winced.

"Bad, huh?" Yugi asked.

Yami's grimace grew more pronounced. "Worse."

"He's a kid."

"He blames me," Yami said.

"He's just worried about his brother." Yugi reached out to grab Yami's hand.

Yami nodded. "Being there… it made me realize how lucky I am. I have you both. I have our friends. Kaiba has his twelve year old brother and that's it." Yami looked down at his food, surprised to find that he was hungry. He ate in silence for a while. As his plate began to look a little emptier, he added, "Then I went to the pier. I like it there. It's easier to think, surrounded by water."

Sugoroku nodded. "I'm glad you found a place for yourself."

"I kept expecting Kaiba to show up. I've gotten so used to Kaiba chasing after me to demand something…" Yami chuckled. "A duel, usually. But that's not going to happen, now. He's not going to track me through the streets. He's not even going to call."

"That's a good thing, right?" Yugi said.

"It is? Why?"

"Because you don't have to worry. You can let things settle and then you can be friends again after a while. You were friends before, you still are under all of this. And sooner or later you'll even meet someone…"

"But I don't want someone else! I want Kaiba! I always did!"

"What? But…. why didn't you tell me?" Yugi asked.

"I didn't know, myself. You told me our relationship wasn't real. Kaiba told me it was just a game. I agreed with both of you. And I was wrong both times."

"Oh wow… I'm sorry, Yami. I didn't understand… I thought..."

Yami shook his head. "I never really told Kaiba how I felt and then I blamed him for assuming I felt nothing. You were right, Yugi. Kaiba and I never talked, not until it was too late, and then it all exploded. No, I take that back. You were right for you. But I'm not you. And that's what you all kept trying to tell me, isn't it?" Yami threw back his head and laughed. Yugi and Sugoroku stared at him, worried. Eventually his howls died down. "That's why we couldn't follow your schedule. It's why nothing you said about caring or relationships or how I should feel made any sense to me." Yami laughed again; this time it was a gentler, more rueful affair. "And you know what? Kaiba and I did everything wrong – and the world is still spinning, no empires fell. And however bruised our souls are, they haven't been stolen."

"Do you want to get back together?" Yugi asked, not sure what answer he was hoping for.

"I do. But I'm not the only one who gets to make that call." Yami pushed his empty plate away. "Kaiba's a monumental jackass who wouldn't recognize an emotion if it was chasing him down the street like a demented stalker. I know each and every wrong move I made, which ones I'd take back, when I would have pushed harder. And I know that's not enough. Kaiba has to meet me halfway."

"Do you think Kaiba can do that?" Sugoroku asked.

"I think it's time I asked. I only know what I want – and what I can't accept, even from him. If we get back, it has to be a true…" Yami stopped. He put a hand in front of his mouth and stared at Yugi, his eyes wide and horrified. He was unable to use the word that had once been reserved for Yugi, alone.

"It's okay. You can say it. You can have more than one," Yugi urged.

Yami nodded, his face as serious as if he was about to begin a duel. "This has to be a true _partnership_. I have to not just demand that, but to admit – to Kaiba and myself – it's what I want. Kaiba's that important to me. You taught me what a partnership is, Yugi – and I'm not willing to settle for anything less."

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for editing this chapter!**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: ** It's striking how alone Kaiba is. One can argue that this is partly because he reflexively pushes people away, but I think his isolation goes deeper. For his entire life from early childhood onwards he hasn't had any support from anyone except for his baby brother. But his and Mokuba's relationship isn't and can't be one between peers, the way, for example, Yami and Yugi's is. Mokuba is not only Kaiba's younger brother by five years, but Kaiba is Mokuba's guardian and has taken on (as best he can) a parental role. Kaiba listens to Mokuba and clearly both loves and respects him, but Mokuba simply can't be a peer in the way that Kaiba needs.

And when it comes to getting anything even resembling advice or concern from someone older, Kaiba is even more alone. Every parental figure in his life, every adult he could have expected support from, has either abandoned or betrayed him. By the time Yu-Gi-Oh! Starts there isn't anyone left. The one person that we know that Kaiba respected and reached out to was Pegasus – and we all also know how that turned out.

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal and Dreamwidth accounts. My username is Nenya85 in both places.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) I try to write the story in my head to the best of my ability – but it's incredible to get a glimpse of how it looks to someone who's reading it. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review.**_


	24. Bringing Up Baby

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 24: BRINGING UP BABY**

BRINGING UP BABY: Screwball comedy, circa 1938. Cary Grant's paleontologist, David Huxley, wants an intercostal clavicle to complete his dinosaur skeleton, a million dollar donation for his museum and an uneventful life. Katherine Hepburn's wannabe heiress, Susan Vance, wants David Huxley, the same million dollars… and let's just say the word "uneventful" isn't in her dictionary. To be honest, the movie makes very little sense, even before the leopard shows up.

_MORAL: Sometimes, as Jane Austen concluded, when two people decide to be together, "they are pretty sure by perseverance to carry their point, be they ever so poor, ever so imprudent, or ever so little likely to be necessary to each other's ultimate comfort." More optimistically, she also concluded that if these couples could succeed, how could her particular pair fail? It does make me wonder, though, where Yami and Seto would fall on her scale. But maybe the most important prerequisite for falling in love is believing that you're the exception to any rule._

* * *

Jounouchi jumped back cursing. Getting to work on time after school was hard enough without some asshole on a motorcycle swerving across traffic to nab a parking space. And the jerk wasn't wearing a helmet, of course. Jounouchi groaned as he took a closer look at the biker.

Kaiba screeched to a halt and jumped off his motorcycle.

Jounouchi grimaced. Ordinarily he would have made some crack about Kaiba's driving skills or the fact that his motorcycle wasn't shaped like a dragon. But Jounouchi had spent the weekend with Kaiba's face plastered across his television while people talked about all the shit his father had sold and rehashed his childhood – the little they knew of it, anyway. It was hard to have any sympathy for a guy who was staring at you as if you were something he'd found clinging to the bottom of his shoe, but Jounouchi managed to work some up.

"Hi, Kaiba." Jounouchi paused then blurted out, "I know we rag on each other a lot, but this… it must be rough… as little as you want to admit it, we're kinda your friends. Anyway, I'm sorry for what you're going through right now. It's gotta hurt."

Kaiba's face betrayed an emotion: surprise. Then anger came to his rescue. Kaiba knew Yami had told Yugi about them. Yugi must have recycled the news to Jounouchi. The thought that this mediocre duelist not only knew that Yami had rejected him, but was inexplicably expressing his sympathy, however clumsily, stung.

"Save your pity for someone who needs it. It doesn't even rate highly enough to be a minor annoyance. And if you think there's anything wrong with my life, you must have me confused with your loser patrol."

"Give it a rest, Kaiba. We all know how you feel about the old Kaiba Corporation."

Jounouchi would have sworn that he'd seen all of Kaiba's expressions. He was all too familiar with the arrogant sneer, the angry scowl. He'd winced at the sound of Kaiba's maniacal laughter. He'd even glimpsed the soft, genuine smile that Kaiba reserved for Mokuba, the one that always made Jounouchi feel like an intruder for having witnessed it.

The totally blank stare was new.

"What?" Kaiba asked, taking a slight step back. His eyes opened wider that Jounouchi would have thought possible, the blue of his irises disappearing into white.

"You okay, Kaiba?" Jounouchi asked.

Kaiba drew in a breath. He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I don't need your bumbling attempts at sympathy. I don't need anyone."

"Damn it, Kaiba. For once in your life try letting someone be your friend. You might even like it."

Kaiba's jaw tightened too tightly for words to escape. He unclenched it with an effort and said, "You're such a pathetic loser, you actually believe your own bullshit."

"Big talk for someone who looked like they'd just been turned to stone. Again," Jounouchi shot back

Kaiba leaned back slightly, resuming his favored pose of self assured control. Kaiba smirked. "I'd just had a shock. I had no idea you could read well enough to follow the news. And since dogs are color-blind, I figured television would be out as well."

Jounouchi's face reddened. He took a step forward, then pressed his lips together, huddling into himself. He straightened up and exhaled. "You know what Kaiba, what you did with those planes, it was the right thing. So you go ahead and do whatever you have to to get through all the publicity and questions, even if it means being your usual jerk-off self." Jounouchi nodded to Kaiba and walked away.

Kaiba stared at him for a moment. He'd never let Jounouchi have the last word before. But now he had bigger fish to fry than a guppy like Jounouchi. Yugi hadn't said anything, even to his best friend. That was a pleasant surprise. But Kaiba couldn't help feeling like Yami had won another round. From the moment Kaiba had seen Jounouchi, Yami had dominated Kaiba's thoughts. It was time to get a grip. It was time to let go. It was time to exorcise an ex-spirit that wasn't hanging around anyway.

Kaiba entered the coffee bar. There were two people ahead of him. It was two too many. He glared at the young man who turned and smiled into Kaiba's scowling face.

"Waiting for coffee is such a chore, isn't it? You have to restrain yourself from yelling 'Caffeine, now!'" the man said with an easy smile.

Kaiba ignored him. Kaiba tried to figure out why, after muttering something about coffee to Mokuba, he'd felt constrained to follow through. If he'd really wanted coffee he could have gotten a cup from the office where the staff brewed it to his tastes. If he'd wanted a change of flavor, he could have had someone else run out to get it. He could have gotten on his motorcycle and ridden in any direction but this one. But anywhere else he could have gone – the pier, the highway – would have reminded him of Yami. It made an odd sort of sense that he'd come here only to run into the mutt. It was his penance for the lack of control that had pushed him out of his office in the first place. Kaiba frowned and tapped his foot impatiently.

"But I suppose anything worth having is worth waiting for," the man said in the easy voice of someone confident in their ability to charm.

Kabia eyed the man more closely, evaluating him for the first time. Kaiba liked what he saw. The other man was slender without being overly thin; he dressed with an acceptable amount of flair. He was reasonably attractive as such things went; he smiled easily and well. If Kaiba had run across his head shot while planning an advertising campaign he might have selected it.

It was so ridiculously easy that it barely rated being called a plan. Kaiba let his lips relax in something that could have been a smile, a gesture that widened further as the young man grinned back. Kaiba relived the moment when Yami had walked out the door. Kaiba wanted revenge. He wanted to prove how little any of it mattered. Kaiba wanted all his glib lies about how he was too busy to notice or feel anything to be true. And here, someone had dropped into his hand, someone designed to make it absolutely clear just how over Yami, Kaiba really was.

The man next to him was perfect. He was interested, he seemed undemanding, he had a combination of slightness and strength to his frame that was intriguing, as was the gold-streaked hair. Kaiba frowned involuntarily at the reminder.

And Kaiba was unattached.

The man next to him (whose name Kaiba had no intention of learning), noticed his frown. His own lips drooped in response. Kaiba changed his expression to a smile again as they got their coffees and left the shop together.

Obligingly, the man was saying something indicating he had time on his hands… he was a temporarily (of course) unemployed actor or something. Kaiba stifled an inward smirk at having guessed it so precisely.

Kaiba stopped listening again. Everything was going according to plan. Kaiba wasn't sure whether sharing a coffee bar was too much of a connection, but it was slight enough to tolerate, especially for the obvious gain of proving how little the whole incident with Yami mattered, how easily it was forgotten.

There was only one problem. The man's voice was all wrong. It was pitched too high, the tones were too light. Everything he was saying was trivial and it sounded that way. Even at his most pathetic, Yami's voice was commanding; pride laced through every note. Yami's voice was dangerous. Even as Yami had walked out of the door that final time, the sound of his voice had thrilled Kaiba.

The nonentity at Kaiba's side was never going to walk out on anyone. He was just another mediocrity in a world that was already drowning in them. Kaiba glared at the man, suddenly sick of the whole business. In another, less furious mood, Kaiba would have been amused at the way the sudden ice in his stare froze the words on his companion's tongue.

Kaiba swept off down the street towards his motorcycle, without sparing a glance at the man he'd left in mid sentence. The young man stood there, coffee still in hand, his mouth open as he wondered what he had said or done to provoke such an angry reaction.

Kaiba threw away his half-drunk coffee and jumped on his motorcycle, still scowling. Without even being present, Yami had managed to disrupt Kaiba's plans. He'd forced Kaiba to see how shabby his strategy was, how it revealed the hollowness at Kaiba's center.

Kaiba sat on his motorcycle, unmoving. He'd tried to prove – to Yami, to himself – how easily Yami could be replaced, how it would take less time to find a substitute than to order his coffee.

Instead…

Kaiba didn't finish the sentence, even in his thoughts, until he was speeding away from the scene.

… instead he'd proven just the opposite.

Kaiba pulled into the Kaiba Corporation garage. He left his hands on the handlebars after turning the engine off. His head drooped for a moment. His anger, even his despair, had burned itself out. All he had left was the desire to see Yami again. Kaiba had insisted all throughout their relationship that he didn't care; he'd clung to his self-proclaimed indifference as if it was a talisman that would keep him safe. Now Kaiba had nowhere to hide from the pain of its ending. Kaiba drew in a breath, straightened, swung himself off of his motorcycle and entered his corporate office building.

Tamashiro smiled at him as he got off the elevator. Mokuba was standing next to her. "Mr. Mutou stopped by to see you while you were out," she said when he reached her desk.

Kaiba's grim expression lightened. "Yami?" he asked.

"Yes." Tamashiro inclined her head.

"Why? What did he want?"

Tamashiro glanced at Mokuba. After a pause, she said, "He wanted to see you. He was concerned."

Kaiba grunted. He went into his office. For the first time since the news had broken, the door closed gently, instead of slamming shut.

Mokuba turned on Tamashiro. "Why did you tell him that?"

"I'm Seto-sama's executive secretary. It's my job to deliver his messages."

Mokuba's eyes narrowed. "You might be his secretary but _I'm_ the one who hired you."

"Yes. Do you understand the job you hired me to do? An executive secretary's first responsibility is to take care of her boss. You have to let me do my job." Her eyes softened as she looked at Mokuba. He came around to her side of the desk. She reached out a hand to smooth his hair. "I know that Mr. Mutou stormed out of here on Friday. I know this is a difficult time for your brother. Seto-sama could have asked me to block Mr. Mutou's calls or bar him from the building. He didn't."

Mokuba's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "But... but Yami walked out on him!"

"And Mr. Mutou came back," Tamashiro said softly. "They had a fight. Boys fight. It happens." She stood up. Mokuba took a step closer. She leaned down and hugged him, throwing the rules of office etiquette away. They didn't apply, not when all she could see was how young her employers were. "It's hard, even for an adult, but sometimes you have to stand back and let people – even people you care about – work things out for themselves," she said as she straightened up again.

"It's not that simple!" Mokuba yelled. He snapped his mouth shut. He couldn't explain, not to her, not when it was his brother's business, not when it was over.

"Your brother is complicated. But sometimes things really are that simple."

Mokuba didn't agree, but her calm certainty was having its effect. And however misguided and misinformed and just plain wrong she was, Tamashiro had his brother's interests at heart. She was willing to stand up to Mokuba to protect them.

"Your brother trusts to the future, doesn't he?" Tamashiro asked.

Her voice was so quiet, Mokuba had to lean in to hear her. Mokuba tilted his head to the side as he considered her question. Mokuba wasn't sure whether "trust" was exactly the right word. "He _looks_ to it, yeah."

"Then why don't you try to follow his lead?" She smiled encouragingly as Mokuba went to his brother's office and opened the door, before muttering under her breath, "In this one thing, at any rate."

Mokuba shut the door and leaned against it. Kaiba looked up. "I talked to Yami," Mokuba said.

Kaiba didn't answer. Mokuba thought his brother might have drawn in his breath.

"Yami didn't know about the planes on Friday. He hadn't seen the news."

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. Mokuba flinched at the sound. "Of course. I should have guessed. He barely knows he's alive. Why would he bother with the _news_?" Kaiba paced the length of his office and then went to stand at the floor to ceiling windows along one wall. He looked out over the city as though he could see where Yami had gone. "It makes even less sense, now."

Mokuba pressed his lips together. Yami had let down his brother, he didn't deserve him. But Kaiba was still looking out of the window and his shoulders were slightly bowed. "Yami wasn't making any sense to me either. But you were right... he was afraid he was going to hurt you. He kept going on about penalty games and how he gave people nightmares. For a minute I thought all that magic stuff was coming back, but Yami said that wasn't the point."

"What was the point then?" Kaiba asked, finally turning around.

"That he's a first-class asshole? I don't know. He thinks he fucks up everything he touches – which is pretty much on target in my book."

Kaiba frowned. "He wasn't the only one who did that," he said softly.

"It'll be okay. You'll forget about him and everything'll go back to normal," Mokuba said, forgetting that a week ago "normal" was something he'd hoped they were leaving behind.

Kaiba nodded and mustered up a smile. He turned back to the window as Mokuba left, closing the door softly behind him.

Kaiba leaned his forehead against the smooth glass. He'd had something real, something he'd wanted more badly than he'd realized, something that had held a piece of his future. And he'd let it slip through his fingers to shatter on the ground below. He'd been too afraid to make a move, too afraid to be honest even with himself, too afraid to break his own rules... not when it had mattered, not when it had concerned the emotions he kept trying to push aside as if they were the enemy. Kaiba had been too afraid to admit that he and Yami had never been playing with each other, that it had always been more than a game.

And so he'd lost.

For an instant Kaiba's shoulders shook, then he regained control. He focused his gaze on the city below. Once he'd chased Yami through those same streets, demanding a rematch. Now Kaiba understood that what he wanted was a second chance.

Kaiba went to his desk and sat down. He dropped his head in his hands, too tired to hold it up any longer.

Once again, he'd been too slow to learn.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: ** I couldn't decide whether to feel sorry for coffee guy when Kaiba basically stalked off and left him flat – or whether to think he'd had a lucky escape. I'm leaning towards lucky escape, though.

I think the ways in which both Yami and Kaiba are dealing with the aftermath of their fight says something about who they are and what support they each have. Yami is going through a calmer process of figuring out what happened and why, and with Yugi and Sugoroku's help, trying to figure out what he wants. In contrast, Kaiba, after pushing aside his feelings for so long, has far fewer resources now that they're crashing down on him. I think it was almost inevitable that he would do something stupid in an attempt to prove the impossible: that he didn't care and that he wasn't hurting. But I also think Kaiba would have to be forced to recognize how much he cared before anything could change. And unlike Yami, Kaiba is assuming that everything is irrevocably broken. This is partly because Yami was the one who walked out, but I think it also reflects Kaiba's mindset.

**Mokuba Note:** I think Kaiba is so wrapped up in his own emotions, that he hasn't really taken in how much this has affected Mokuba as well. Kaiba is working overtime at pretending that he's not hurting himself, so that would make it harder for him to take in Mokuba's feelings. Also, just like his brother, Mokuba is taking all the hurt and fear and confusion and releasing it as anger.

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal and Dreamwidth accounts. My username is Nenya85 in both places.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) I try to write the story in my head to the best of my ability – but it's incredible to get a glimpse of how it looks to someone who's reading it. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review.**_


	25. Singing in the Rain

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 25: SINGING IN THE RAIN**

SINGING IN THE RAIN: Musical Comedy, circa 1952. Gene Kelly plays the charmingly shallow Don Lockwood, a silent era film star who has no clue what to say – especially to fledgling actress Kathy Selden. Unfortunately for Lockwood and his studio-mandated leading lady, Lena Lamont, the silent era is about to give way to the talkies, leaving them both speechless just when they have to step up to the microphone.

_MORAL: If you want to speak from the heart, you need to find your own voice first._

* * *

"Last chance to back out," Sugoroku said with a smile as he watched Yami seal the envelope.

Yami shook his head. "No doubts. The whole time we were together, Kaiba kept saying he wasn't going to ask."

"Ask for what?"

"For anything."

Sugoroku chuckled. "That sounds like Kaiba."

Yami raised his shoulders in a slight shrug. "Yes, it sounded so much like him it took me a while to figure out what he meant."

Sugoroku tilted his head to the side. "How so?"

"From Duelists Kingdom to Battle City and beyond, I never doubted that I was crucial to Kaiba. I never thought about it and I certainly never made sure Kaiba knew that he was important to me as well. Then we went to Egypt where everything flipped on its head except that." Yami swallowed. "When I think of all the things that need to change, that one tops the list."

"Kaiba's not known for opening up. You may not get the response you want."

"If there's one thing I've learned, it's not to give up too easily. It's always tempting to just place your hand over your deck and surrender. At DOMA, I might have given up, except I remembered Kaiba saying that there was a world beyond the darkness and I wanted to win through to see it. And Yugi was waiting for me; he trusted me, despite all my mistakes. I had to live up to his faith. But even after Zorc, even after my friends risked their lives to save mine… I was still ready to give up on my life before it began. I'm not quitting, not on this, not as long as Kaiba is willing to try. I just hope that it's not too late."

"There are few mistakes that can't be undone. Just be sure that this is what you want. You owe that to Kaiba as well as yourself," Sugoroku warned.

"You say you've forgiven him, but you don't like him, do you?"

"The only thing I know about Kaiba is that he's a troubled young man – and that you can't make up for all that he's missed in his life."

"I'd like you to meet him. I want you to understand. I like Kaiba… his stubborn, prickly persistence, the way he faces down everything in his path… himself… me… life itself. It's bracing, like a sharp wind when you're half asleep. It may knock you over, but it reminds you that you're alive, too."

Sugoroku nodded.

Yami paused then continued, "Kaiba makes me feel like I'm part of something. But he also makes me feel more like myself. And there's another side to him…" Yami looked down. A slight flush washed over each cheekbone.

Sugoroku cleared his throat. "I can guess the rest."

Yami's blush deepened. "I didn't mean that! Well, not only that." Yami glanced at his feet before meeting Sugoroku's kind smile again. "When we're together, it feels like we're finally being open with each other. We're not holding anything back. And I want that." Yami shook his head. His words were so much more stilted than the emotions that accompanied them. "There's part of Kaiba that's vulnerable, that shies away from the things he wants to hold more tightly, a side I don't think even Mokuba has seen. I wish I could make you understand."

Sugoroku chuckled. "I understand better than you think. My hair wasn't always gray."

Yami sighed, picked up his letter and headed for the door.

"You could just mail it," Sugoroku pointed out.

"I could if I was willing to wait until tomorrow for it to be delivered," Yami said with a wave as he left.

Sugoroku couldn't help chuckling once the door had closed.

Ms. Tamashiro rarely brought mail to her boss. Most of Kaiba's business communication was by email or telephone. Contracts were prepared and signed in house. Invitations were ignored. Mokuba and Kaiba stared at the envelope in her hand, a relic from an earlier age, as strange and out-of-place as an artifact from an archeological dig. Tamashiro dropped the letter on Kaiba's interactive desk and left.

There was no stamp; it had been hand delivered. Kaiba read the return address first. He kept his face impassive as he studied the firm penstrokes before slicing the envelope open and extracting a single, folded sheet of paper. A duel monsters card fell out as he opened the letter. There were five words on the page: "I remember your words... Yami." Kaiba folded the page and slid it under a folder. He picked up the card.

"What's that?" Mokuba asked.

"A Spell card," Kaiba answered absently, still studying it.

Mokuba pouted, but his brother wasn't watching. "Duh! I know that. Who sent it?"

Kaiba paused, then answered, "Yami." He held the card up so Mokuba could see it: Devil's Sanctuary.

"Yami sent back your card! You gave it to him to help save his ass! Doesn't that mean anything to him? He isn't worth your time, Nisama. Forget him and move on, just like you always say."

"It's not my card."

"What?"

"Mine was a first edition. This is from the re-release. The greens are brighter, slightly too garish. And Industrial Illusions changed their paper supplier too," Kaiba said, running his fingers over the card's surface.

"Yami kept your card and sent you a duplicate one? Why?" Mokuba didn't suggest it was a mistake. Yami didn't make mistakes with his cards, any more than Kaiba did.

"I'm not sure," Kaiba said. So Yami remembered Kaiba's words as he'd given his Devil's Sanctuary to Yami at Alcatraz: _"If friendship is in the cards, my card has possibilities."_ Kaiba had assumed those possibilities had vanished, had sunk under the weight of his own anger, of their frustration, of Yami's disinterest, if that's what it had been. Kaiba pursed his lips. Kaiba has assumed that their endgame had already been played, that their match was over, that all that remained was silence and a pretence of disinterest at their next meeting across a dueling field.

Was Yami telling him that he still saw possibilities?

For the first time since Yami had walked out, Kaiba found himself looking forward to tomorrow.

No one could have accused Kaiba of hanging around Tamashiro's desk waiting for the mail on Wednesday. There wasn't anything unusual about a boss occasionally stopping by to check on his own secretary's work. And whatever message Yami had wanted to send had already been delivered.

But despite Kaiba's occasional, completely work-related forays into the hallway, Tamashiro managed to catch him at his desk with Mokuba again when Yami's letter arrived. Kaiba wasn't sure if he approved of the slight smile on Tamashiro's face as she handed him the envelope. He took it from her without comment.

Kaiba opened the envelope. This time there were two cards wrapped in a single sheet of paper. Once again the message was brief: "There is a difference." Kaiba smiled.

"What did he send this time?" Mokuba asked.

Kaiba held the cards out so that Mokuba could see them: Respect Play and Remove Trap. Kaiba looked at Respect Play more closely. The corners were slightly rounded, the surface no longer pristine. It was a common card, Yami probably had multiple copies. Kaiba was pretty sure this was the one from Yami's deck.

"Yami gave you Respect Play and then gave you a card that cancels it out? Why?" Mokuba said.

Kaiba nodded. "Of course he did. You have to be able to cancel it or there is no respect."

Yami had insisted that the Kaiba he saw at night stay throughout the day as though he could be pulled like a rabbit out of a hat. This combination said the opposite. Yami wanted to know what was going through Kaiba's mind, what he was feeling. But he wasn't going to try to shame or threaten Kaiba into meeting his demands. Yami had given the choice back to Kaiba. Kaiba drew in a breath as he considered Respect Play.

There were dozens of cards that forced players to show their hands. Exchange was similar but it only lasted for one turn. Respect Play was continuous, just as all the nights when they had held each other and talked had blurred into one unending communion. Then there were all the cards – like Pegasus Monster A or Thestalos the Mega Monarch – that forced you to reveal yourself and then punished you for it. Kaiba stared at the picture on the front of the card: two rivals caught in the act of shaking hands. Respect Play. The card was well named.

And Yami was right. There was a difference.

"You don't even like Respect Play!"

Kaiba's lips twisted in something that might have been a smile. "I thought I didn't. I've changed my mind."

Mokuba drew in a breath then let it out in a huff. "What's going on? If Yami has something to say to you, why not just spit it out already?"

"He just did."

"By sending you a couple of common cards?"

Kaiba's smile grew more definite. "No. By the cards he didn't chose instead."

Mokuba shrugged his shoulders and left the room. Kaiba continued to smile.

Yami headed off to meet Yugi and the gang at Burger World after delivering his message. Yami glanced at his phone before entering the restaurant. The only new message was Yugi's, telling him that they had just sat down. Yami had been checking his phone ever since he'd delivered his first envelope the day before. Kaiba knew his number; he'd given Yami the phone. He hadn't called or texted. Yami sighed and put his phone away. Yami's expression lightened as he saw Yugi waving at him from their table.

"Hey! Long time no see!" Jounouchi yelled, leaning across the table to fist-bump Yami.

Anzu smiled at Yami. "We missed you on Saturday."

Yami nodded, but didn't answer. He crowded in with the others at a table much too small for their numbers. He ended up sitting on one end, next to Ryou Bakura. Yugi and Anzu were crushed together facing him, with Jounouchi and Honda at the opposite end of the table.

Yami was suddenly struck by how rarely he'd spoken with Bakura. Bakura went out with the gang, especially if Honda stopped by to pick him up on his motorbike. But Bakura was almost as silent as he'd been while being possessed. And he seemed to treat each outing as a separate event, never assuming that attendance at one meant he'd be welcome at the next.

The waitress came over to take their order. The menu was limited; there were barely any choices to be made. A red star with the word "NEW" at its center caught his eye. You could now get a burger topped with battered and fried jalapeños in habanero sauce at Burger World.

"I'll have that," Yami said, pointing.

Yami sat back, letting the cheerful chatter buzz around him, not needing to join in.

"Whoa! Are those jalapeños? I wouldn't eat one even if you dared me!" Jounouchi called out as their food arrived.

"I dare you to!" Honda said immediately.

Jounouchi glared at Honda, leaned across the table, snagged a pepper off of Yami's plate and popped it in his mouth. He sat back in his chair, sputtering and gulping water. "That wasn't funny!" he said as his friends started laughing.

"Serves you right for grabbing food off of other people's plates," Anzu scolded. She turned to Yami. "I didn't know you liked spicy food."

Yami smiled. "Neither did I." He glanced at Jounouchi and his grin widened. "Cheer up. It could have been a Carolina Reaper."

Honda reached over and clapped Jounouchi on the arm. "At least you made good on the dare."

Yami glanced back across the table. Yugi was still laughing at Jounouchi and Honda. Anzu was alternating between joining in and rolling her eyes. Yugi and Anzu looked the same as always… except that they were holding hands under the table.

Yami almost snorted, imagining Kaiba at Burger World.

Jounouchi threw a french fry across the table. It landed in Honda's hair. Honda threw a fry of his own back. It sailed over Jounouchi's shoulder.

"Ha! Missed!" Jounouchi called out.

"Stop that right now!" Anzu said, waving her finger at them. "I'm not getting thrown out of Burger World again!"

Yami suddenly remembered tossing a jalapeño at Kaiba's face. Kaiba had caught it. Mokuba had begged to join in.

How could two meals be so similar and so different? And Yami suddenly knew that as much as he loved the easy camaraderie of his friends, he missed the challenge, the intensity that defined his encounters with Kaiba, a heat that started long before they reached the bedroom.

And Yami didn't want to hold hands with Kaiba under the table. He wanted to hit Kaiba with a jalapeño in the middle of his smirking face... and possibly lick the habanero sauce off afterwards.

Yami sat back and took another bite out of his burger. He glanced at Bakura, who was picking at his own burger. It was well done, the inside charred almost as browned as the outer surface.

Bakura coughed and took a gulp of water. "I decided to try something new. The thought of rare meat, the blood…" Bakura shuddered. "I might have overdone it though."

Yami nodded. "You don't have to throw everything out."

Bakura shrugged. "Sometimes it's hard to sort out what I want unless I do. Like if I throw everything out, the things I want back are mine."

Yami tilted his head to the side. "That's a creative idea." He gestured towards the peppers. "I've tried inviting things in and then deciding if they are additions or intrusions."

"Do you have trouble figuring out which it is, sometimes?" Bakura asked, his voice dropping lower.

"Every day," Yami assured him. He shook his head, smiling to himself. He'd always wanted to protect his friends. It had never occurred to him before that sharing his weakness was a different way to do it. But Bakura was leaning back in his chair and the tension had left his shoulders.

"I was once Yugi's other self," Yami added.

Bakura nodded. "I have to become my own self again, too." His surprisingly impish grin appeared and vanished as quickly as a deer disappearing back into the woods. "Just as soon as I figure out who that is." He tilted his head. "Any suggestions?"

Yami cut his remaining burger in half. It was medium-rare. "Here," he said, pushing it towards Bakura. "It's okay to decide some things are yours, even if they were his as well."

Bakura ducked his head then lifted it, took the burger and chomped off a large bite. "He liked them raw, not rare." Bakura smiled shyly. "You're right. This is better."

"I can't believe we still have over a week until Kaiba's tournament!" Jounouchi wailed. Yami's head swung around at the reminder.

"You're going, right?" Yugi asked Yami.

"Of course," Yami answered. His eyebrows lifted in surprise.

"Of course," Yugi echoed, giggling.

"I thought that was all settled weeks ago!" Anzu exclaimed.

"It was," Yugi said.

Yami stared at Yugi. Avoiding Kaiba was one thing; avoiding Kaiba's tournament was something he hadn't considered.

Yugi giggled again. "I should have known better."

"Why would you think Yami was going to miss it?" Jounouchi blurted out. "Of course Yami's dueling. I can't wait! Just think: now both of you can kick Kaiba's ass."

Yami frowned. Everyone else laughed. Then, Yugi said, "This is what I've wanted since I started dueling: just to enter a tournament and play with my friends for fun, with nothing on the line."

"Hey! Don't forget about bragging rights!" Jounouchi said.

"_Are_ you going to brag when you win?" Anzu asked Yugi, scrunching up her nose.

Yugi laughed and shook his head. "No, I think I'll leave that to…" Yugi looked around the table, smiled, opened his eyes disarmingly wide and said, "well… everyone else."

"I wonder who's been invited," Jounouchi said.

"You mean you wonder if Mai is coming," Honda teased. He grinned as Jounouchi started sputtering, then turned to Yami. "You see more of Kaiba than the rest of us, maybe you can get the details."

"Nah, don't bother." Jounouchi shook his head. "I saw the poor bastard the other day. He was a wreck."

"When?" Yami asked sharply.

"Let me see… it was Monday, I think… yeah… Monday. He was weird… even for Kaiba. First he starts going on about how he doesn't need anyone and how great his life is, and then when I told him to can it, that we'd all seen the publicity about those planes, he stared at me like he had no idea what we were talking about." Jounouchi shrugged. "Then he threw in a couple of dog insults like everything was back to normal." He shook his head. "Never thought I'd feel bad for the jerk."

"I'm sure he'll be okay by the time the tournament starts," Yugi said.

"Yeah. That's one thing I'll say for him: nothing keeps him down for long," Jounouchi agreed.

"We're all getting new duel disks for the tournament," Yugi said.

"I wonder what the special effects will be. I bet Kaiba has something big planned," Honda added.

Yami turned to Bakura. He was glad the topic had switched back from Kaiba to his tournament. "Are you changing your deck?" he asked.

"I wasn't planning on competing… I don't think I'm…" Bakura stammered.

"I wish you'd reconsider," Yugi said.

"I was looking forward to cheering for you," Anzu said.

Bakura smiled and ducked his head. "I'll think about it," he said.

Yugi sighed, but accepted the answer for the evasion it was.

The waitress arrived with the check. Everyone focused on collecting money and paying their share. The gang broke up just outside the door. Yugi and Anzu left first; Yugi was walking her home. Honda had given Bakura a lift to Burger World. Before he went to pick up his motorbike, Honda turned to Bakura and said, "You should play. They're just cards. They can't hurt you."

"You better not let Yugi or Yami hear you say that," Jounouchi laughed. "We live by 'the heart of the cards' around here!"

"I think the cards have whatever power we give them." Yami smiled. "And that's for good as well as evil."

Honda and Jounouchi headed off – Jounouchi to his home and Honda to his motorbike. Yami waited outside the restaurant with Bakura in silence.

"It helps to remember that the future is infinite," Yami finally said.

"Sometimes that's what scares me," Bakura admitted as Honda pulled up to the curb.

Yami managed to stop himself from nodding along. But as he watched Bakura and Honda drive away, Yami had to admit that sometimes, it scared him as well. If his choices weren't destined, how could he know that he was making the right ones?

Yugi would tell him to trust to his heart. Kaiba would say that anyone cowardly enough to be stopped by their own fear deserved to march in place forever. Yami shrugged. Much like going home, for now, he'd have to settle for moving forward one step at a time in darkness.

By Thursday Kaiba was running out of work related excuses for hanging around Tamashiro's desk. At least one mystery was solved. Yami was hand delivering the envelopes and leaving them with the security team downstairs who rushed them to the executive floor.

Tamashiro tried to hang onto the remnants of her poker face as Kaiba took the envelope from the security guard. Kaiba ignored her. He retreated to his office and sat down at his desk to enjoy his letter in peace. Kaiba's eyebrows rose as he read Yami's message. Yami had repeated Kaiba's words to Isis: "The future is infinite."

Kaiba put the cards on his desk. Fiber Jar's floating tree and Damage Eater's lightning ghost stared back at him. Damage Eater brought healing after devastation. Fiber Jar let both players re-shuffle their decks, giving them a fresh start.

Kaiba glanced from the cards to Yami's letter and back again. As brutal as their fight had been – and as crushing as the days that had followed – Yami's messages, from his carefully penned notes to his cards, were about new beginnings.

Although comfort wasn't a word that came easily or often to Kaiba's mind, Kaiba felt happier when he looked at the cards. For the first time since they'd met, Yami was the one doing the chasing. Kaiba knew he should be gloating, but as he stared at his cards, his smile was both softer and warmer.

Kaiba knew what it was like to be needed, he knew all too well what it was like to be used. Kaiba pursed his lips, unable to put his finger on what made Yami's messages different; Kaiba had no reference point for being wanted.

He picked up the other cards from their place on the edge of his desk. He had five cards now, enough for a hand. He stared at them, wondering if they could be considered presents. If so, they'd be the first he'd received, except from Mokuba, since his parents had died. Or at any rate, the first that couldn't be discounted as corporate or business related gifts.

Kaiba put down the cards and reached for his phone, then stopped. He had no idea what to say. He could send cards back instead of talking, but that would cheapen Yami's gesture. Reading Yami's message was so much easier than framing his own.

And he didn't want Yami to stop.

Kaiba would have scoffed at the idea that he was superstitious, he would have – after a pause – conceded that Yami had earned his trust. But for the first time, Yami wanted Kaiba's attention, and not just as a rival or even an ally. And Kaiba couldn't shake the feeling – no, the certainty – that once he responded, the cards and letters would stop. Everything would go back to the normal he no longer wanted. Some long buried instinct of self preservation kept Kaiba from calling Yami until he was sure he could handle the cost of being proven right.

Yami was already awake and staring at his phone when the alarm clock went off on Friday morning. He sighed and put it down as Yugi sat up. There were no new messages.

"What's up?" Yugi said, rubbing his eyes and stretching.

Yami frowned. "I'd expected Kaiba to call or text by now – or to run over here and break the door down to finish arguing. Instead, there's nothing."

"Maybe he hasn't gotten your messages?" Yugi suggested. While it was hard to imagine Kaiba ignoring Yami, it was very easy to picture him tearing up the envelopes and throwing them in the trash, unopened and unread.

It could have been a trick of the light, but Yami's cheeks turned faintly pink. "He's gotten them. He's even read them as soon as they arrived. I called his secretary yesterday and asked."

"Oh." Yugi got out of bed, glanced apologetically at Yami, and headed for the bathroom. When he came back, Yami was pacing the narrow corridor between their beds.

"For how long is Kaiba going to keep avoiding me?" Yami demanded.

"He never has before," Yugi agreed. "Are you going to stop?"

"After only three days?" Yami sat down again. "I don't know how to read Kaiba's silence. Kaiba hounded me through the streets demanding a duel, he thrusted himself in my face when I had everything else in the world claiming my attention first. Maybe he's finally through. Kaiba said he was never asking, that he was never chasing me again. I should have taken him at his word."

"There's a middle ground between stalking you and ignoring three days of hand-delivered messages," Yugi pointed out.

"Kaiba's never been good at finding the middle ground." Yami shook his head. "Kaiba told me he would be my target whenever I was angry."

"Kaiba said what? Yami! You didn't take him up on it!"

"Maybe this was one attack too many, one penalty game too much. Maybe I've damaged things too deeply to repair." Yami sighed. "Maybe it's time to acknowledge that, to Kaiba and to myself."

Yugi sat down next to Yami and hugged him.

Sugoroku's shouted cry of "Breakfast!" interrupted them.

"Are you coming downstairs?" Yugi asked as he got up and headed for the door.

"Later. I never understood this before, but I need to be alone to figure things out."

Yugi came back to give him a final hug and then headed downstairs. Yami was sitting on the bed stroking his chin as the door closed, already planning his next set of cards.

Kaiba was alone when the next envelope arrived on Friday. Tamashiro was still pretending she wasn't smiling and Kaiba was still pretending not to notice her expression every time she delivered an envelope. Mokuba had given up trying to understand how a bunch of common cards his brother either already owned or wouldn't bother putting in his deck could make Kaiba look so much more like the brother Mokuba had wanted to see return.

The envelope was heavier than usual. Toon World fell out when Kaiba opened it. Kaiba snarled. More than any other card, Toon World was the symbol of his past humiliations, the proof that even with his heart newly rebuilt, he still hadn't been strong enough to protect Mokuba. Kaiba closed his eyes and pictured himself on Pegasus' tower in the instant when he'd "won" his duel against Yugi. Toon World was a reminder of all the times when he'd been desperate enough to throw aside honor, like ballast from a doomed ship. Why was Yami sending him this card?

Kaiba turned to the letter. "I understand your silence, now. I'm sorry."

Kaiba's frown turned more thoughtful. For once, Yami's message made no sense. Kaiba studied the cards that had spilled out when he'd unfolded the letter. The Domino Effect and Absolute End magnified each attack, made the damage deeper, the suffering worse. Kaiba put them aside and stared at Self-Mummification for a moment before deciding that the picture of the skeleton, sitting in its tomb, trapped or afraid to leave, _was _the message. Since the cards had scattered across his desk, Kaiba could no longer be sure of the order Yami had originally set them in, but he was willing to bet that Chain Destruction was last. It was the card Yami had used to set up his one turn kill against the first of Malik's minions, the card that had triggered an inescapable spiral, razing everything in its reach.

If Kaiba had seen the cards first, Kaiba would have assumed they were aimed at him. He'd certainly caused enough damage in his life. Now he knew better.

Kaiba remembered all the things Yami had said, all the things Kaiba hadn't understood. _"I'm the one who's failed at friendship… Maybe Pegasus was right… I refuse to be an angry, vengeful spirit again… I can't keep hurting you because I'm mad at myself… You deserve better… " _Mokuba had hit the nail on the head although neither of them had realized it: _"He's afraid he fucks up everything he touches." _

It was the last thing Kaiba had expected. Yami doubted himself.

And that was unacceptable.

Kaiba had insisted that they were equals. Now he wondered if Yami knew what the word meant. Like Yami, Kaiba knew what it was like to look over your shoulder and see a string of bodies following. Like Yami, Kaiba knew what it was like to rebuild your life, piece by painful piece.

But Kaiba also knew that the road to his future didn't run backwards, that nothing could ever make him shift into reverse and head back to the man he'd been.

Yami didn't. And Yami didn't trust Kaiba's ability to survive him at his worst.

Kaiba shook his head remembering Yami sitting in his office in those early days, explaining how he'd deliberately pulled his punches in the penalty game that had followed Death-T.

That had to change before they went a step further.

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. Yami had been sending messages all week.

It was time Kaiba answered.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** One thing I really like about Kaiba and Yami's relationship in Yu-Gi-Oh! is how they often seem to be speaking in their own language. They both believe that duels are a way of testing personal philosophies and because of this they put meaning into the cards played and even discuss strategy is strikingly cryptic philosophical terms. Probably my favorite piece of dueling advice that Kaiba gives Yugi is: "Nothing is infinite! That's just God's deception!"

Now I honestly believe that the only reasonable reply to this is: "Have you been at the Gaffer's home brew again?" (Oooops, sorry, wrong fandom!) But Yami instantly knows exactly what Kaiba is saying – and is completely in tune with the way Kaiba is expressing himself. Anyway, I was trying to capture that sense here. I've always loved the language of flowers, where different flowers could be combined to send a message, so I wanted to try that here, but with duel monster cards instead. It was fun – and harder than I expected – especially since I tried to limit myself to common cards, since the value was in the message.

_**Note to Guest:**_ Thank you so much! Yes, the sooner Kaiba figured out he wanted Yami and not some chance pick-up the better for everyone, including coffee guy! And yeah, finding out that Yami didn't betray his confidence from a third party had to help.

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal and Dreamwidth accounts. My username is Nenya85 in both places.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) I try to write the story in my head to the best of my ability – but it's incredible to get a glimpse of how it looks to someone who's reading it. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review.**_


	26. You Can't Take It With You

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 26: YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU**

YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU: Screwball comedy, circa 1937. With apologies to movie director Frank Capra, I'm going with the original play. Depression era audiences loved the (to put it politely) eccentric Sycamores. From the snake-keeping, income tax evading grandpa to the let's-make-fireworks-in-the-basement son-in-law to the aspiring ballerina granddaughter (who wasn't about to let a lack of talent stand in her way), this was one family that believed in doing their own thing. Then the youngest granddaughter breaks tradition by getting an office job at Kirby Industries, where she meets and falls in love with Tony Kirby. The Kirbys are, of course, the starchiest, most conventional family in town. The resulting get-together goes about as well as you would expect.

_MORAL: When everything starts to go topsy-turvy, the only thing left is to enjoy the ride._

* * *

Yami breathed a sigh of relief when his phone finally buzzed on Friday evening. He stared at the screen for a moment, almost unable to take in the sight of Kaiba's name. The message wasn't long. "As usual, you understand nothing. Meet me on Monday in CL-2 in the Kaiba Corporation basement at 7:00 PM."

By the next morning, Yami had picked out the perfect card to answer Kaiba.

Kaiba reminded himself that it was ridiculous to expect a letter from Yami on Saturday. Yami was probably still asleep or helping at that crummy little game store or hanging out with Yugi. Yami hadn't even responded to his text. Kaiba tried not to think about how closely that matched his expectations. He had plenty to keep him busy in his computer lab, just in case Yami came by on Monday. He'd already told Mokuba he'd be a little late today and even later on Monday evening.

It was mid-afternoon by the time Kaiba went up to his office to collect his briefcase and head home. Isono was waiting at Tamashiro's desk when Kaiba got off the elevator. Isono held out an envelope as Kaiba approached.

Kaiba raised an eyebrow as he took it. "Explain," he said.

"I didn't want to disturb you in the computer lab. I decided to wait here instead."

Kaiba frowned. "Inadequate."

Isono swallowed, then said, "It's been a busy couple of weeks. I thought I'd come in and keep an eye on things."

Kaiba pressed his lips even more tightly together. Isono was glad he'd kept his sunglasses on.

Finally, Kaiba nodded. "Just remember, I don't need you hovering over me."

"Of course not, Seto-sama," Isono said.

"You assigned yourself to driving me in last week. Now you're sitting at Tamashiro's desk delivering my mail."

Isono inclined his head slightly.

"I won't forget," Kaiba said quietly.

"Yes, Seto-sama," Isono said.

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Go home," he said as he went into his office and closed the door.

"Gladly, Seto-sama," Isono said as he headed for the elevator.

Kaiba sat at his desk, glanced one more time at his closed door, then slit open the envelope. There was no letter. A single card fell out: Swords of Revealing Light. Kaiba groaned. Next to Toon World (and Kuriboh), this was his least favorite card. No matter how powerful your deck, this one card held you impotent for three turns. Yami had used it to take him down at Death-T. By the time the wait was over, Kaiba had lost. Kaiba frowned. Was that Yami's answer, again?

Kaiba inhaled, then let his breath out slowly. Yami had dragged himself out of bed and away from his friends to deliver this card. Kaiba stared at the swords on its face. Three swords. Three turns. _Three days._ He'd texted Yami on Friday. Friday… Saturday… Sunday. Kaiba drew in another breath, this time in relief. By Monday, the three turn wait would be over and Yami would be ready to meet him.

Yami showed up slightly early on Monday. A security guard escorted him to the computer lab in the Kaiba Corporation basement, bowed and left. Yami entered the room and closed the door behind him. The lock clicked into place.

Kaiba was alone in the room. His long duster was reminiscent of his Battle City outfit without quite duplicating it. The white leather was polished to a silver sheen and lined with tarnished gold. Kaiba glittered in the overhead lights. The back of the room was in shadow. Yami was torn between rolling his eyes and breaking into a grin. Then Yami glanced at Kaiba and swallowed. In a few short days, how could he have forgotten how blue Kaiba's eyes were – and how they seemed to bore through you?

"I brought you here for a reason," Kaiba said. "I told you once that I won't be your excuse for cowardice. If you left because you were fed up with me, that I could understand. I never expected things to last." Kaiba snorted; for once the sarcastic sound was turned against himself. "Maybe that was the problem."

Yami raised an eyebrow. "Maybe?"

This time Kaiba's grunt of laughter was genuine.

"Point taken. But that isn't why you ran, is it, Yami? You did it because you're afraid of yourself. And that's unacceptable."

"You know better than anyone what I was like before Yugi!" Yami shouted, forgetting everything he'd come here to say.

"If you really are nothing more than this crazed monster that can only be held in check by Yugi, isn't it better to know that up front?" Kaiba insisted.

"You saw…" Yami's voice dropped to a whisper. "I could have become the person I'd been before, someone ready to kill over an insult or a game."

"So could I. You didn't banish that part of me completely. Nothing can. All the things that created that demon are still here, inside. What you did was give me the chance to become something more." Kaiba ran his hand through his hair and turned away. "Leave because you're sick of me or because I'm an arrogant asshole. Don't do it because you're afraid of yourself. Who you are is within your control."

"I know that!"

"Do you? You told me over and over that that I could change, that no matter how hard the struggle there was a road ahead and it led to a true future. I don't want to go through life wondering how much of the time you were lying to me."

"I've always believed you have the strength to rise above everything!"

"How can you believe in me, when you don't believe in yourself?" Kaiba turned from Yami and walked to the back of the darkened room. With his usual theatrical flair, he thrust his hand into the air, forefinger pointing to the ceiling. The lights above the back wall went on. Yami followed, then stopped, staring in shock at the glass chamber dominating the far corner. He recognized it instantly. It was bigger than he remembered or maybe Kaiba had changed the design since Death-T. The dueling table was gone.

"A death simulation chamber? I thought they were all destroyed!"

"They were. But the plans… they're in here," Kaiba said forming a gun with his fingers and pointing it towards his head. "They'll never be truly destroyed until the day I die. I will do whatever it takes to prove to you that you don't have to be afraid, that I can handle anything you can dish out, that I'm you're fucking equal. I'm playing a penalty game today. The loser of Death-T was always supposed to end up here."

Kaiba strode into the chamber without hesitation. Yami darted after him, stopping at the threshold, the door held slightly open by his back.

"You braying jackass! You're so sure you know everything! Don't you ever stop long enough to ask a question – much less listen to the answer? Yes, I was afraid of the person I'd been. Maybe I always will be. But I never would have sent you those letters unless I'd already decided that just like you, I could be more than my fears. Wouldn't it have been simpler just to ask me? Why are you really doing this?"

Kaiba scowled. "I told you. Next time I'll equip my penalty games with a replay button so I don't have to repeat myself."

It was said sarcastically, but Kaiba's voice was laced with a nervousness that had nothing to do with the fact he was standing inside a death simulation chamber.

Yami grinned and crossed his arms. "I know what you said. It's not the whole truth."

"This is boring."

Yami's grin widened to a smirk. "You're so predictable. You only say that when there's something you're trying to avoid. I never admitted how much I cared, even to myself. Instead, I told myself I was trying to keep you safe."

"Safety is over-rated."

"Shut up, unless you're willing to admit that you were hurt when I left."

"Don't you dare ask me that!" Kaiba hissed.

"Why not? You're just as much a coward as I am. I care about you, Seto Kaiba. Are you willing to admit the same?"

"_I_ wasn't the one that left," Kaiba spat out.

"You never admitted there was anything to leave in the first place! What are you trying to prove? That you can survive anything? Or that you could survive my leaving? You can. You did." Yami shook his head. "Be honest for once in your life! You build all of this..." Yami gestured to the glass chamber, "just to confess that you cared – and you haven't even done that, yet. When did you realize that we weren't just rivals with benefits, that we weren't just playing a game?"

Kaiba scowled. His crossed arms suddenly looked defensive, not defiant. "Not until you were gone."

Yami stared at Kaiba.

Kaiba shrugged. "I spent 24 hours watching all the reasons I didn't deserve a second chance, all the reasons for you to leave. And then you did and I told myself that I didn't care, that it was just the way life worked. It took me days to realize that it was my choices that led to your walking out that door. That's when I got your first card. And then I realized you were blaming yourself for all the ways that I fucked up."

"Kaiba…"

Kaiba flung up a hand and turned his head as if he could hide from what he'd said by not looking at Yami.

"Kaiba!" Yami repeated.

Kaiba retreated further into the chamber. Yami darted forwards to grab the taller duelist, forgetting for a moment where they were. Yami jumped back, but he was too late. The door to the death simulation chamber had closed with a click behind him. Kaiba leapt forward, pushing Yami back against the now-closed door. All Yami could see was the black of Kaiba's shirt. Kaiba had placed himself so that his back was between Yami and whatever monsters were waiting to emerge. And that single, instinctively protective gesture told Yami more than all the words Kaiba found so hard to say. If he survived, Yami promised himself to remember this moment.

"You weren't supposed to jump in!" Kaiba hissed.

"Wasn't I? Is this enough proof for you? That day in your office… you didn't trust me."

"I…" Kaiba's voice trailed off. He couldn't explain his tangled mess of emotions to himself, much less to Yami.

"You didn't trust me not to see past the day's headlines. You were wrong then. You're wrong now."

Kaiba swallowed. He glanced over his shoulder and turned back to Yami. "They're starting to assemble. It should take them a minute or two to be clear enough to see. If you don't believe in them, they don't exist."

"What do you believe in?" Yami asked.

"My own ability to survive. If you think you can survive, you will."

"You had nightmares for months," Yami reminded him.

"Survival is never free."

Yami nodded. He was learning the same lesson.

"What about you? What do you believe?" Kaiba asked, his voice low and husky. He pressed Yami against the glass wall of the chamber.

"I believe that survival isn't enough. I want more," Yami answered. He pulled Kaiba's head to his and claimed Kaiba's lips, as if the past week had been the illusion – as frightening as the monsters in a penalty game – but no more real. "We don't need a death simulation chamber," Yami said thickly, his lips still bruised with the feel of Kaiba's.

"Too late. You should have left the door open. It locks from the outside and it won't unlock for eight minutes when the whole cycle shuts off." Kaiba's eyes gleamed. "No one has ever survived that long with their mind intact. We'll be the first."

"No one was here with a partner, before."

"Interesting point," Kaiba said, his expression as feral as the Panther Warrior gaining form and solidity over his shoulder. He pressed Yami to him, molded his rival against his body. Yami slid one of his legs between Kaiba's. Kaiba briefly lifted his hands off Yami so Yami could push Kaiba's duster off his shoulders.

Yami knew they were both supposed to be frozen with fear... horrified statues turned to stone by a Medusa's glare. They were supposed to be howling in terror, more than halfway on the road to insanity, or lying on the ground dying as their hearts exploded against the confines of their ribs.

And Yami's heart was pounding, was shuddering within his chest… but what he felt was gratitude and desire, not fear. He had a third chance to make the most of the second chance he'd already been given.

Yami knew it would be safer to shut his eyes or look away and to warn Kaiba to do the same, but Kaiba was bathed in the reflected light of his horrors, rising out of their fast coalescing forms. Kaiba had never looked more beautiful, more like an angel about to plummet into the depths of Hell. Yami found himself devouring Kaiba's lips as if he was a duel monster and Kaiba was his prey, as he ground his body against his rival's until doom itself lost all meaning.

Demons and monsters had never been a novelty to Kaiba; he already knew that the world was full of them. None of that mattered, not when Yami was in his arms. And that's when Kaiba faltered. When suddenly, the man that Kaiba was holding seemed less real than the monsters lying in wait. Kaiba gasped in pain as the Talons of Shurilane raked across his back. He caught a glimpse of sapphire claws as the monster reared back to strike again. Kaiba laughed through the pain: it was fitting that he'd been attacked by a monster that hid in mirages, that only became solid to attack. Snake Fang rose above Kaiba. His jacket sizzled as the serpent's venom dripped down on him.

"Kaiba!" Yami called out. "You're not alone. Don't forget that. I'm here!"

"Are you?" Kaiba asked, his voice vacant. "Or are you the final, cruelest illusion?"

"I promise. Our road won't end here in this room."

Kaiba's eyes cleared. He lifted a hand and stroked the side of Yami's face, relearning its solidity. Once again Kaiba dipped his head to meet Yami's. Yami's jacket had fallen from his shoulders in the dash to reach Kaiba. Now Kaiba reached a hand under Yami's shirt, the same black shirt he'd worn on his return from Egypt. Yami gasped as Kaiba's fingers reached his nipple. Abruptly Kaiba stopped and pulled Yami's shirt off. Kaiba leaned over needing to taste every inch of skin, needing to prove that Yami was with him.

"Take off your shirt, too. I need to feel you against me," Yami gasped. Kaiba complied. Yami reached out to Kaiba's pants, ignoring the expanse of bared torso. His hand came to rest on the zipper. Kaiba's breath tightened in a way that had nothing to do with monsters or impending doom, and everything to do with the life pulsing through him. Yami traced the ridges of Kaiba's erection through the heavy material of his pants, his hand moving back and forth as if the fabric had disappeared. Kaiba's eyes drifted shut, narrow blue slits of color escaping through his lashes.

Yami drew in a breath, then froze. It was too much. And penalty games didn't work like this.

Yami had cast penalty games over and over; they'd been his stock in trade. Then he'd renounced them forever. But he'd never faced one from the inside as its prey. And this was too easy. He was supposed to be alone. This wasn't justice; it wasn't retribution. It wasn't what he deserved. Yami wrenched his gaze from Kaiba, focused on the monsters that were clawing futilely at them. If he wanted justice, he was going to have to step outside of the shield of Kaiba's body. He pushed against Kaiba, creating some space. Serpent Marauder filled the gap, replacing Kaiba's embrace with its own.

"No! I refuse," Kaiba shouted, reaching out and forcing Yami's attention back to his face.

For an instant the serpentine grip loosened. Kaiba peeled back its head and flung it away. Serpent Marauder melted into shadows.

"You are going to focus only on me. I'm not surrendering you to anything, even my own demons."

"Yes," Yami said. He leaned in and claimed Kaiba, sinking his teeth into the spot where the slender column of Kaiba's neck rose out of his shoulders, as if Yami had fangs of his own, as if he was just as deadly an adversary. He needed to record his existence on Kaiba's skin.

He moved down Kaiba's body, leaving marks on Kaiba's torso and neck, matching any damage the monsters could do, covering the scars that already marred Kaiba's skin with a new, temporary stamp.

The monsters were still clawing at the edge of Kaiba's consciousness, demanding his surrender, fighting for their rightful place at the center of his soul so that they could devour it from the inside, so they could complete the job they'd started years ago. But as hard as they pounded against the barriers in his mind, they couldn't break through. Nothing, not even his self-created demons could oust Yami from his place. Not tonight. Kaiba dropped his head to rest it on top of Yami's, shaken to his core.

Yami leaned up to whisper in his ear, "Do whatever you want."

Kaiba had always taken what he wanted. He'd fought, he'd schemed, he'd poured every ounce of who he was into chasing what he needed. No other option had ever existed. No one had ever offered before. It was more terrifying than anything a horde of duel monsters could do.

Kaiba didn't need to be told twice. His hand trembled as he reached for the fastening on his waistband; he was dimly aware that somewhere behind him, the monsters had started to fade away. Kaiba thought about restarting the cycle, but he would have had to leave the booth to do so, and he didn't need monsters to feel alive.

Not when he had Yami.

Kaiba pushed down his trousers, then swung Yami to face the empty room beyond the chamber's confines. Kaiba yanked down Yami's pants as well.

When Yami had spoken to Yugi about Kaiba, he'd talked of emotions and respect and communication. Every word had been true. But now Yami surrendered to the knowledge he'd wanted this as well. Yami moaned as he was pressed against the cool glass wall, the sound rising to a high keening note as Kaiba reached around to grab him. Kaiba's strokes were rough, choppy… and utterly irresistible. Yami closed his eyes, giving in to the feel of Kaiba's hands on him, of Kaiba's body rubbing against his own. He'd gone to bed each night dreaming of Kaiba's breath on his neck, of Kaiba learning his responses only to inflame them again and again. "Please…" Yami moaned, unsure of what he was begging for or why, needing release even as he wanted this feeling to last forever, even as he craved nothing so much as its completion.

Kaiba had been afraid to think of Yami for a week. He'd refused to remember all the things he'd never get to do again… whisper into Yami's ear as he held him late at night, wake up to the feel of Yami's arms around him, run his hands down Yami's body, collect Yami's moans in response. Kaiba had never expected to feel Yami arch into his touch again. He'd never expected to be pressed up against Yami, to feel Yami's body quivering against his, to have his own tighten from the silken feel of Yami's skin, to wait in hungry anticipation for this unique amalgam of friction and heat to build, to catch fire, to...

Kaiba stiffened suddenly, as if his demons were still in the room, as if they'd just stabbed him through the heart. He screamed once, a sound somewhere on the border of pain and delight, and pitched forward, bracing himself against the glass with one hand as the other tightened its grip.

It was all too much. Yami gave an answering howl as Kaiba's hand continued to move, as Kaiba regained his rhythm, as he matched it to Yami's need...

It had all happened so fast; the first acceptance of a truth they'd spent the week doubting. Yami could feel Kaiba trembling against his back, unable to stand on his own power; Kaiba's harsh gasping breaths broke above his head. After a moment and another swift intake of air, Kaiba shifted slightly, just enough for Yami to turn to face him, hampered by the pants pooling at his ankles. Yami reached up to Kaiba to draw his face downwards for a final kiss, as gentle as all the previous ones had been rough; a calm wave following a storm. Yami ran his fingers through Kaiba's damp hair, brushing it off his forehead. He stared into Kaiba's eyes as their kiss broke, noting the soft smile that sat awkwardly on Kaiba's austere face.

Kaiba glanced away, cleared his throat, bent down and pulled up his pants. Yami chuckled and followed suit. The rest of their clothes were strewn across the floor. Yami pulled on his shirt and slung his jacket over his shoulders. There was something disconcerting about picking up his clothes up and putting them on as if they were in a glass dressing room. He wondered whether Kaiba found it odd as well, or whether building the chamber in the first place had given him a different perspective. Yami headed for the door. He glanced back. Kaiba hadn't moved. He stared at his coat and shirt; they were still on the floor. Yami quirked an eyebrow. Kaiba flushed slightly and bent to pick up his clothes.

They left the chamber together. Seen from the outside, the small room looked so much more ordinary; it wouldn't have been out of place in an office bullpen. The glass walls were streaked and smeared, no longer clear. Yami shook his head. " I told you that I was afraid of hurting you and your response was to hurt yourself even worse just to prove you could. What kind of idiot are you?"

"The kind that will do anything to prove I'm your equal," Kaiba said.

"No one doubted that but you."

Kaiba stared at the clothes in his arms. He should be holding a bunch of shredded, acid-burned rags. Instead they were intact. It had all felt so real. None of it had lasted. Kaiba shivered. What he and Yami had just shared had felt real as well. Would it prove just as illusory?

Yami sighed as he looked at Kaiba, at the clothes Kaiba was still hugging, at his downcast face, at the bangs that shielded his eyes from view. "Please... just ask whatever it was that you built all of this to avoid saying."

Kaiba paused and then straightened. "Back when we were in Noa's virtual world… you had a choice." Kaiba looked down again, but he caught Yami's start of surprise out of the corner of his eye. "I might have been turned to stone but I was aware of everything that was going down. Noa offered to set you free if you left me trapped like that. You hesitated. If Jounouchi hadn't butted in, would you have walked away?"

"At the time you denied that any of it had happened at all!" Yami exclaimed.

"Being aware is one thing. Accepting is another." Kaiba dressed swiftly. He gave a bark of laughter as he finished. "So much for asking. It doesn't matter anyway."

It was only as Kaiba turned away that Yami realized he hadn't answered Kaiba's question – and that Kaiba considered his silence answer enough.

"I couldn't risk Yugi's body, no matter what my own desires were. Kaiba, what are you really asking? If you can believe in my return? If you can trust?"

Kaiba's breathing was harsh in the quiet room. He'd been promised an honest answer, but it was only now that he realized the question.

"I'm not walking away," Yami insisted. "But I'm not the only one with a call to make here. You have to decide that you want me to stay, with all that means… that you'll have faith that whatever comes, we'll face it – and ourselves – together."

Kaiba had stared down the monsters in his death simulation chamber unflinchingly. Now he hung his head. "I don't know if I can do that."

Yami hugged Kaiba as though they were still facing the chamber's demons. "Neither do I. Are you willing to try? Are you willing to risk losing? I know all the reasons to leave. You're an arrogant, argumentative asshole who can't stop pushing away the people you want to stay. But here's one better reason to remain: because this is what we want, and not just because we click in bed or because we work as rivals. The only thing that keeps me here is that this is the life I want to fight for." Yami put a finger up to Kaiba's lips. "I know what I'm asking. Give me your answer at your tournament."

Kaiba grinned. "Isn't that what tournaments are for?" He hugged Yami back as they parted – Kaiba upstairs to his office to collect his briefcase and Yami to his home.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This chapter and the one where they fought were among the earliest chapters drafted. When I thought about everything that led up to the fight and then tried to envision Kaiba's response, I just couldn't see them – especially Kaiba – getting together to calmly talk things out. This scene was what came to mind and refused to leave. (I do worry a bit about what that says about me.) Also, Kaiba would never believe in mere words. But if a picture is worth a thousand words, forgetting where you are and jumping into a death simulation chamber to reach someone has to be worth a million.

_**Note to to Wolf'sVine:**_ Thank you so much! Because Kaiba is so damaged, he's spent a lot of time sabotaging the things he wants and needs. (I want to shake him, too… frequently!) And it was important to me to show both Yami's doubts and his courage. Re: the millennium items: the premise is that they have lost their power and have been returned. I think that was the implication at the end of the series and I kept that in this story. I was assuming that once the items lost power, Yami also would not have access to it. I also wanted to thank you for your reviews on "It's Deja vu All Over Again: and "Giving Up the Ghosts!" It's great getting reviews on completed stories!

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal and Dreamwidth accounts. My username is Nenya85 in both places.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) I try to write the story in my head to the best of my ability – but it's incredible to get a glimpse of how it looks to someone who's reading it. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review.**_


	27. You've Got Mail

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 27: YOU'VE GOT MAIL**

YOU'VE GOT MAIL: Romantic comedy, circa 1998. Standard romantic comedy plot about a huge conglomerate slowly crushing the life out of a cozy neighborhood store, set in the days when email was new. In between the fluffy, feel-good rise of the corporation as the dominant force in American life, the characters get to know each other until talking about nothing becomes something else.

_MORAL: Even when the world is changing – the little things matter._

* * *

Kaiba returned home late Monday night without mentioning where he'd been. But he seemed calmer – and even happier – than he had in weeks, so Mokuba simply wished him good-night and went to bed. The next morning, Mokuba waited to see if Kaiba would say anything.

He didn't.

By the time the staff had taken lunch and returned, Mokuba had run out of patience. His brother had skipped lunch as usual, but Mokuba ordered for him, making sure to limit the items to those quickly and easily eaten. Mokuba waited until his brother had finished, then dug his elbows into the desktop in imitation of his older brother's stance and asked, "What's up?"

Kaiba pressed his lips together. After a moment he admitted, "I saw Yami last night."

"What? Why?"

"I needed to understand why he left, why he kept sending me messages."

"Do you?"

"Not totally. Enough."

"Enough for what?"

"Enough to want to see him again."

Mokuba pouted. "I don't get it, Nisama."

Kaiba shrugged. Any other response would have meant confessing that he was mystified as well.

"How do you know Yami won't run out on you again?"

Kaiba considered the range of answers. He couldn't tell Mokuba that he'd built another death simulation chamber or that Yami had dashed in after him. And now that Kaiba thought about it, that didn't prove anything: rushing into danger to rescue someone was the sort of thing that Yami _would_ do. Kaiba shook his head, refusing to retreat down that path again.

"On the plane back from Egypt you said that we weren't really their friends, that we were only a means to an end to them. What changed?" Mokuba asked. Neither brother was aware of how completely their roles had shifted.

Kaiba frowned again. It was hard to admit, even to Mokuba. "I did."

"Are you sure?"

"Drop it, Mokuba," Kaiba ordered.

Mokuba drew in a breath then exhaled noisily. He frowned and pawed the ground with his toe.

Tamashiro provided a distraction by entering with the mail. Yami had written again.

Kaiba got up from his desk to take the envelope. He hugged Mokuba. "It'll be okay. I promise."

Somehow they wound up sitting under Kaiba's high-tech desk, leaning against the dragon embossed legs while Kaiba opened his letter. It felt like they were sharing a narrow orphanage bed again, sitting with the sheets over their heads as they talked late into the night.

"What is it this time? Another common card?" Mokuba asked. "He must know you have them."

"Of course he does."

"So why do you like getting them?"

Kaiba ran his hand through his hair. He was glad Mokuba had settled against his chest. Kaiba didn't have to look at his brother that way. "He's talking to me."

Kaiba took the card out and smiled. It was Apprentice Illusion Magician. Kaiba handed the card to Mokuba and unfolded the paper that had surrounded it. There were three words: "I mean it." They were written in hieroglyphs. Kaiba re-folded the letter and put it back in its envelope.

Mokuba's attention was still on Apprentice Illusion Magician. "Well, it's not a common card. But it's useless!"

"No, it's not."

"It summons the Dark Magician, right? And you don't even have the Dark Magician in your..." Mokuba's voice trailed off. After a pause Mokuba handed the card back and said, "Yami really is talking to you, isn't he?"

Kaiba ducked his head awkwardly in something that could have been a nod.

There was another pause. "Are you happy, Nisama?"

"I don't know. I never know, except with you."

"You want to call Yami, don't you?"

Kaiba shrugged.

"It's okay. I have to get back to work." Mokuba stood up, looked down at his brother and giggled. "You probably should get off the floor first, though."

Kaiba waited until his brother had left the room before reaching for his phone. He glanced again at Yami's letter. The last time he'd seen hieroglyphs, they'd been hanging from the cartouche around Yami's neck. Then Yami had torn it off and dropped it in the sand. Kaiba folded the letter and speed-dialed Yami.

Yami had only gone a few blocks when his phone rang. "That was quicker than I thought," Yami murmured when he saw Kaiba's name on the screen.

Kaiba spoke before Yami had finished greeting him.

"Why?" Kaiba barked.

Yami didn't bother pretending to be mystified by Kaiba's one-word sentence. "I remembered how dangerous leaving you with an open-ended question can be."

"Meaning?"

"It took me days to figure out what I wanted. I was unused to wanting anything at all. But I can't speak for you or force your pace to match my schedule. I've made that mistake already. I'm willing to wait until the tournament for you to decide if it's what you want as well."

"You said all that yesterday," Kaiba pointed out.

"And today I wanted to make sure you didn't mistake my patience for indifference. I have a life now. I want you to be a part of it."

Kaiba grunted. Yami waited to see if he'd hang up.

"Why hieroglyphics?" Kaiba asked instead.

"You can read them."

"That's not an answer."

"'Atem' is part of who I am, even if I don't remember the details, even though I can't reclaim him or the life he would have lived. Now that I'm ready to begin again, I'm sorry I cut myself off so completely, not just from my past, but from myself."

"The past is meaningless," Kaiba said.

"No it isn't. Mokuba is in your past."

Kaiba grunted again.

"I felt so cheated that day. I'd lost my destiny. But I was the one who threw away my name. I can't blame that on Pluto or fate or anything else."

After a pause Kaiba said, "You picked a new name for yourself. So did I."

"And Yami is a part of me, as well. But I shouldn't have given up one name to take the other. If I'm going to claim an identity, I want all of it."

Kaiba grunted again.

"I suppose that sounds irredeemably sappy," Yami said with a chuckle.

"Yes," Kaiba replied. But Yami could hear the smile in Kaiba's voice as he added, "It also sounds like you." There was another pause then Kaiba said, "I have work to do," and hung up.

Yami stared at the silent phone. "Good-bye to you, too," he muttered.

Yami glanced at the time, put his phone back in his pocket and picked up the pace. He made it to the mall just before Anzu arrived. She waved from down the block as she saw him.

"What's the big secret?" she asked.

Yami smiled. "No secret. I just need some clothes. Something for the tournament… and maybe for afterwards. Not much. A couple of shirts and a some pants." He looked at the sleeve of his coat. "And I guess a jacket or something."

"I'll help, of course. But why didn't you ask Yugi?"

Yami opened his mouth and then shut it.

"I'm sorry. That was silly of me," Anzu said, waving her hands to shush him before he could answer. "You want to do this yourself, don't you? Otherwise you'll never be quite sure who you bought clothes for. And I have experience telling you apart."

Yami nodded. "Thank you."

She beamed at him. If there was a fixed quality to her smile, Yami didn't notice. "No problem! It'll be fun!"

Yami remembered one store from the day he'd run out of the mall; he'd liked the clothes, but there had been too many of them. He steered Anzu towards the shop.

There were a new set of jackets just inside the door. Yami glanced through them. It was easier with a friend. Yami pulled out a deep blue wool jacket. It was slightly longer and more flared than Yugi's uniform jacket – and much flashier. It had the same high collar, but in black leather. The cuffs, lapels and openings were edged in leather as well. But it was the gold embroidery that caught and held Yami's attention. Lavish baroque designs spread out from severe black borders, standing out against the intense blue of the wool.

"Look!" Anzu said, pointing to a sign.

"Check out the hot new color for fall: Egyptian Blue," Yami read.

Anzu smiled. "You may have shown that destiny can be changed, but I still believe in omens."

Yami nodded and tried on the jacket. It fit perfectly. "Maybe I do, too," he agreed. He moved to a rack of shirts. The one in front was a cream-tinged white. The narrow collar and placket were in a dark midnight blue embossed with gold. He nodded as he saw it. "Do you mind if I go try these on?" he asked Anzu.

"Go ahead." She waved him towards the fitting room.

Her mouth dropped open as he exited. He looked regal and confident. He looked like the man who'd held the titles Game King and Pharaoh. There was a narrow band of leather at the coat's collar. Yami shrugged out of the sleeves and fastened the leather strip at either end. The garment hung from his shoulders like a cape. Anzu almost giggled, wondering whether Yami had needed a fashion consultant or an audience. But Yami wasn't preening himself or posing. He simply stood there and attracted all eyes.

"It's perfect for you," Anzu said.

He nodded and smiled. Then he looked down. "The pants don't really fit with the rest, though, do they?"

Anzu tilted her head. "You know… since you're setting up separate wardrobes, maybe Yugi would give you the leather pants. They'd go perfectly with the rest of the ensemble..."

"And that way you don't have to worry about Yugi wearing them?" Yami asked with a grin.

Anzu blushed and ducked her head. "Well, his sense of style has been changing…."

Yami had noticed that button down shirts and even a vest or two had started to make their way into the closest, and that the leather pants and sleeveless black sweatshirts (all the clothes that made Kaiba's eyes gleam) had been pushed to the back.

"I'm sure we can work something out." he agreed. He went to change back into his – and Yugi's – old clothes, then took the items to the cash register. Anzu's eyes widened as he pulled out a wad of money. "I've been beta testing for Kaiba Corporation. This seemed like a good way to spend some of it."

"Then let's go finish the job!" she said.

Yami came home later with full shopping bags. Once in the closet, it was easy to tell his clothes from Yugi's. Yugi watched him, then came over and moved the leather pants over to Yami's side.

"Thanks, partner," Yami said. "Anzu helped me pick this stuff out."

Yugi nodded. "She's good at helping."

Yami glanced back at the closet. "She said the clothes fit my style. I never thought of having a style before, much less that we'd have different ones."

"Girls know stuff like that." Yugi turned to the closet as well. "I dunno. I never thought about it either. Maybe it's something that just happens? Like it goes along with being different people?"

Yami nodded. "I guess. It looks right though, doesn't it?" he asked, pointing to the closet.

"Sure does!" Yugi agreed. He glanced at his partner. "Is it hard waiting until the tournament for Kaiba's answer?"

Yami smiled. "It's easier to have patience when you're confident that the answer will be the one you want."

Yami and Yugi were sitting with Sugoroku on Friday evening when Isono arrived and handed over a large envelope. Yami took it to the table and opened it. Documents spilled out. Yami read the neatly written, unsigned note: "Collect and discard the previous versions. It wouldn't do for you to have a duplicate identity once again."

Yami scanned the papers and cards. They'd all been replicated. Even the credit card was the same. Yami palmed it again. The only difference was the name: Yami Atem Mutou.

Yugi leaned across the jumbled documents to hug his partner. Two sets of almost identical eyes closed, tears leaking out of the corners.

"Wow! I should have known you were right. I should have trusted Kaiba more, too," Yugi said.

"Because he redid my identification documents to add a name I'd barely realized I wanted?"

"Because he did it for you. We all know how Kaiba feels about the past. We've known Kaiba for years and none of us has a clue what name he was born with, he erased it that completely… and here Kaiba is, giving yours back to you."

Yami picked up his driver's license and traced the characters of his new name, "Yami Atem." He smiled. "If he's going to keep making these, maybe I should get Kaiba to teach me how to drive."

Sugoroku picked up Yami's new birth certificate. It looked just as worn as the previous one had. "That boy certainly is thorough," Sugoroku said with a chuckle.

"You said that the first time," Yami pointed out.

"It's still true."

Yami turned to Yugi. "I'm glad you approve." He reached into his pocket for his phone.

"Wait! Who are you calling?" Yugi asked.

"Kaiba, of course. I have to tell him what you said!"

Yugi's eyes opened to an impossible width. "You're going to tell Kaiba that I approve of his relationship?"

Sugoroku shook his head, got up and left the room.

"Your opinions are important to me. They always will be," Yami said.

"Yeah, but they're not important to Kaiba. He's more likely to get pissed that I'm butting in at all." Yugi's mouth dropped open. He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. "Oh no… please don't tell me that you've been repeating everything I've said to _Kaiba_…"

Yami wished he had a puzzle to disappear into. "But you were right. Kaiba and I did need to talk." He didn't add that they'd also needed a death simulation chamber. (And he certainly wasn't ever going to mention the use they'd made of it.)

"Yeah, maybe. But tell me: how did it go over when you told Kaiba that _I_ said you two needed to talk? Or that I was worried about you guys? Or that I wasn't sure if he cared at all?"

"Not well," Yami admitted. He put the phone down.

"I don't know how I'm going to look Kaiba in the eye, ever again!"

Yami suppressed a chuckle. He could hear Kaiba snarl, "You couldn't look me in the eye anyway, shrimp," just as clearly as if Kaiba had been in the room with them.

"He'll probably be distracted by the tournament by the time you see him," Yami offered.

Yugi nodded. "Yeah. At least I hope so. I can't believe the tournament's finally starting tomorrow! I can't wait!"

Yami's eyes narrowed in concentration. For the first time, he wondered why Yugi was so eager. No one else's reasons for dueling seemed to apply. Jounouchi jumped into each match, enthusiastically racing down the road to becoming a true duelist. Kaiba dueled to find answers; he dueled to prove himself. Dueling was at the core of Yami's being; he refused to let go. Even those moments when he despaired, when he was convinced of his failure thrilled him, they were so utterly his.

"Why do you like dueling?" Yami asked.

"What do you mean?" Yugi said. His mouth remained slightly open.

"You don't really care who wins or loses, do you? I mean not in a duel like this where the world isn't in the balance."

"That's what I'm looking forward to! I haven't seen Mai or Rebecca or Mako in ages. I guess I expect to win... I mean I always do, but that's not what matters. I've always liked games and puzzles, but with dueling I get to share that. And it's even better when there's nothing on the line."

"There's always something on the line," Yami said. "All duels have meaning. We need to discover it."

"Well, for me the meaning is having fun with my friends," Yugi said firmly.

Yami glanced back at the phone. "I have to call and thank Kaiba."

Yugi nodded. "I'll go see if Ji-chan needs help in the kitchen."

Yami waited until Yugi had left and then dialed.

"What?" Kaiba said.

"Thank you."

"I figured you'd send another card tomorrow."

"I wanted to hear your voice."

"You did?"

Yami nodded, then remembered that Kaiba couldn't see him. "Yes. I haven't changed my mind."

Kaiba grunted.

"I look forward to seeing you when the tournament starts," Yami added.

Kaiba grunted again, mumbled something that could have been, "Me, too," and hung up.

Kaiba sat in his office, staring at the phone with Yami's name on the screen, until Isono knocked on the door, reminding him that he still had a tournament to run.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.**_

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Egyptian Blue really is a color and it really was used in ancient Egypt, over 4,500 years ago, so it had already been at least 1,500 years old when Atem was born!

I liked the idea that one Yami felt ready to assert his own personality through his clothing, he would pick clothes that stood out, stuff that would look ridiculous on anyone else, but that he pulls off through sheer force of personality. As cute as it would be for Kaiba to accompany him, I'm not sure that Kaiba cares _what_ Yami wears – I think it would be much more important to Kaiba that Yami was the one owning the selections. And it seemed too early for a joint shopping expedition.

_**Kaiba Note:**_ I could see Kaiba getting what Yami had said about understanding that Kaiba needed more time to decide if he wanted a true partnership. But by the next day, I could also see doubts seeping in, and Kaiba starting to wonder if Yami's silence meant that he was losing interest. Of course, I also think Yami is too good a strategist not to anticipate that reaction and come up with a counter-move.

_Note to Flowery:_ I wanted to say how much I value and appreciate your comments on the quality of my story, especially since the premise isn't one you want. If the idea of Yami/Atem remaining in Domino isn't something you'd enjoy reading, avoiding this story is a really good idea!

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal and Dreamwidth accounts. My username is Nenya85 in both places.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) I try to write the story in my head to the best of my ability – but it's incredible to get a glimpse of how it looks to someone who's reading it. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review.**_


	28. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think.**_

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** For the sake of brevity, unless necessary, I didn't describe the process of sacrificing lower level monsters to summon higher level ones. I used the word "summoned" for the entire process.

* * *

**CHAPTER 28: GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES**

GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES: Musical comedy, circa 1953. Forget the obligatory boyfriends. The love story at the heart of this movie is the one between Marilyn Monroe's Lorelei Lee and Jane Russell's Dorothy Shaw. Lorelei is everything Dorothy disapproves of – and Dorothy would walk through fire to protect her. And Lorelei would try to take advantage of anyone or anything – except for Dorothy.

_MORAL: A romance without a friendship is like a balloon without a knot to keep the helium inside.  
_

* * *

The last time Yami had seen Kaiba Stadium, it had been unfinished. Now it was packed with cheering fans waiting for the official start of the tournament. Only a couple of the early duels would be held here, and of course, the final rounds. The rest fanned out throughout the city.

The stadium had two premium suites, in addition to all the other luxury boxes. One was reserved for duelists. Ms. Tamashiro greeted Yami, Yugi and Anzu at the door. She smiled politely as Yami introduced Yugi and Anzu, then pulled Yami aside to whisper, "Is that the perfect girl?"

"For Yugi, yes," Yami said, blushing a little.

Yugi dashed around greeting old friends; his arm stayed firmly linked with Anzu's. Yami followed more slowly. He glanced across the stadium, wondering about the group in the other luxury suite.

"They're representatives from the major studios and game developers," Pegasus said, sidling up to Yami.

"I didn't know you were coming to the tournament," Yami said.

"Speaking of unexpected appearances, it's such a surprise to see you here… or anywhere, I suppose." Pegasus glanced across the stands. "I came out of curiosity. Kaiba-boy usually only holds tournaments when he has a product to show off or a new playground to open."

"He's improved his holographic technology," Yami said.

"That explains the movie moguls. Why fuss with blue screens or green screens or whatever they're using these days when you can just film your human stars interacting with a lifelike hologram? And if I had to venture a guess, the game developers are for my benefit. I may have been a tad over-enthusiastic in reminding Kaiba that his wasn't the only technology company I could make a deal with. The dear boy really has to learn not to react so dramatically."

Yami frowned, reminded of all the reasons Kaiba had to distrust Pegasus. "Or Kaiba might not have found your taste in designing cards based on Kaiba Corporation's weapons amusing."

"My, my… such a hostile glare. And on Kaiba-boy's behalf. Nightmares, I assume?"

Yami stared at Pegasus. It was hard to believe that the Millennium Eye was gone.

"Oh, please… he's an abused teenager who designed weapons of mass destruction for a sociopath and built a theme park to hunt and kill everyone he now cares about. Not to mention the three – or was it four – magical time-outs? It doesn't take a mystical artifact to predict nightmares."

"Can we expect a Death-T card next?" Yami spat out. "I thought you'd changed."

"One thing remains the same: my cruelties are never pointless."

Yami's scowl deepened.

"Kaiba-boy's deck is mechanized anyway. That stealth fighter would be a nice complement for his dragons," Pegasus pointed out.

"He'd never put a card celebrating the old Kaiba Corporation in his deck and you know it!"

"Yes. I do. Kaiba's made his decision. Maybe one day he'll realize it," Pegasus said quietly.

Yami stared at him. He'd expected another taunt.

Pegasus' smile was sad. "I told you… my cruelties are never pointless."

"Why be cruel at all?"

Pegasus flipped a lock of hair off his shoulder. "Can you think of a better way to throw our little anti-hero's choices into relief?"

Yami's exasperated intake of breath was theatrical enough to meet Pegasus' approval. "Why tell me all of this?"

Pegasus' smile turned impish again. "You really don't know? Or are you just being coy?" Pegasus reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out an envelope. It was sealed with red wax and stamped with an image of Funny Bunny. "Before I forget… last time I gave a present to your little alter-ego. Now, although I admit the warning about Greeks bearing gifts springs to mind..."

Yami took the envelope and bowed slightly. He started to open it.

"Really, Yami-boy…" Pegasus frowned and wagged his forefinger at Yami. "No. Yami-boy just doesn't have the right ring to it. Anyway, Baby-pharaoh, don't you know that the best presents are opened in private?"

Yami sighed in relief as Pegasus tipped his empty wine glass in a salute and went for a refill. Yami tucked the envelope in his jacket pocket. He waved Yugi and Anzu over and they headed towards the front of the box to wait for the official start of the tournament. Tamashiro left her post at the door and joined them.

Jounouchi dashed into the luxury box just before the opening ceremonies. He waved at his friends, then swiveled to scan the room.

"Hey! Mai!" he shouted. He ran up to Mai and punched her arm.

"Ouch! Did you do that just in case I forgot what a big lummox you are?"

"Oh! Sorry!" Jounouchi said sheepishly. "I hoped I'd see you! I haven't heard from you in forever."

"Considering we never exchanged numbers…" Mai pointed out.

"I can fix that! Give me your phone!"

Mai rolled her eyes, but she handed it over.

"All done! I put my number in your phone and sent yours to me!" Jounouchi announced proudly.

Mai laughed. She couldn't help thinking that if Jounouchi had a tail, it would be wagging.

"Now we can talk any time," Jounouchi said.

Mai scanned the room. "So start talking. Any comment on why there are two almost-identical Yugis over there – or why I feel like I've seen both of them before?"

"It's a long story," Jounouchi mumbled.

"And I'm making you tell me all of it – just as soon as the tournament's over. Until then, I don't need any distractions." She tilted her head to the side as she considered both Yugis. Mai chuckled. "I wonder which one I dueled?"

"So anyway, what have you been up to?" Jounouchi asked hurriedly.

Mai paused; her laughter drained away. "I've been up to a lot of things… some modeling… acting classes… anything but Duel Monsters."

"But you're a great duelist!" Jounouchi protested.

"I know," Mai said simply. "But every time I touched my deck, I could hear Malik telling me that I was alone, that I'd always be alone. I could hear Dartz, like he was still in my head. I could see you and the rest of the gang turning your backs on me before fading into the mist." She hung her head and admitted, "It was like my deck was haunted. I'd hold my cards in my hand and chant, 'Bloody Mary' over and over and wait for my demons to appear."

"What happened?" Jounouchi whispered.

Mai shrugged. "Nothing. Then, the next night it would start all over again. Until I was in a motel room in the middle of nowhere – and I decided that if I quit, it was going to be on my terms. And no one – not Malik and not Dartz – was going to take that away from me."

"Atta girl, Mai!" Jounouchi punched her on the shoulder again, more lightly this time.

"The next day I got an email inviting me here, all expenses paid. I figured: what better way to start over?"

Jounouchi shuffled from one foot to the other. "I could use a do-over, too. Ever since I met you, I've been so bowled over by the way you look, I didn't really see anything else. Not until… you know… DOMA…"

Mai put her hands on her hips. "Oh, so now I look just plain old ordinary to you? Thank you very much!"

"No! I mean, that's not what I mean…. Of course I think you're beautiful! Everyone does! Hey! Stop laughing!" Jounouchi drew in a breath, then continued in a quieter tone, "There's so much more to you than that. And the next time you feel like chanting at your cards, call me. I promise I'll stay on the line."

Mai laughed.

"I mean it, Mai. I'm ready to listen."

Mai put her hand on his arm. "I know, Jounouchi. You're my friend. When I feel like I'm forgetting everything else, I'll remember that and I'll call."

They headed over to the group at the front of the box. A plane appeared in the distance speeding towards the stadium.

"I'm almost afraid to wonder what Kaiba has planned this time," Yugi said.

Yami nodded. Kaiba had, after all, just rebuilt a death simulation chamber as a romantic gesture. "It's usually better not to know."

They could clearly see Kaiba's BEWD plane, now. It took another moment to identify the figure standing atop the plane. Yami groaned. He glanced at Tamashiro. Her face was composed, but her fingers kept twisting together.

Before Jounouchi finished saying, "He's out of his freaking mind," Kaiba jumped.

The crowd gasped in horror, a sound that soon changed to a drawn-out "Aaaaaaaah," of awe.

Kaiba's arms spread out, revealing the webbing that ran from his wrists to his sides, turning his arms into wings. Yami blinked. For a moment, he could almost believe that Kaiba had found a way to transform himself into one of his dragons, a look enhanced by the silver color of his wingsuit. A moment later Kaiba was surrounded by a swirl of holographic dragons. His three Blue Eyes White Dragons circled around him, at times obscuring him from the crowd's view, at times seeming to embrace him and cushion his descent to the ground. They covered Kaiba one final time as he touched earth, rested for a minute and then disappeared in a shower of silver. Kaiba emerged in the same gold-lined, silver duster he'd worn into his death simulation chamber at the beginning of the week. Mokuba rushed out to meet his brother, microphone in hand. The tournament had started.

Yami was glad that he and Yugi were playing at the same venue – and that their duels alternated. They'd both cruised through the early rounds. Yami defeated his last opponent to earn his place in the quarterfinals tomorrow. He went to watch Yugi's final match of the day. Anzu was standing on the sidelines. Yugi was dueling Mai. She was, as always, a fierce opponent.

"Is it strange?" Anzu asked. "Being on the sidelines cheering Yugi on, I mean."

"Cheering Yugi always feels natural to me," Yami answered.

Anzu paused, then said, "They announced your name as Yami Atem."

"I realized I wanted my name back... all of it. You gave me that cartouche. I shouldn't have tossed it away as though that was meaningless." Yami shook his head. "I was so bitter that day."

"You're here. That's what matters." She looked down. Her bangs fell in front of her eyes. "The cartouche can be replaced… if that would be okay with you, Atem."

"Thank you. I promise to take better care of this one."

"Just take care of yourself."

They watched as Yugi played his final cards. Mai took her loss cheerfully. It was something beyond good sportsmanship or even good showmanship, Yami decided.

"You played well," Yami told Mai as she and Yugi came over.

Mai laughed and pulled Yami into an embrace. She linked one arm with Yami's then turned to tap Yugi in the chest with her other hand. "I still can't make up my mind which of you I dueled. Or maybe my mistake is thinking of it as an either/or question."

She laughed again as both Yami and Yugi bit their lips and stared at the ground.

"Uh… Mai…" Yugi began.

"I know, it's a long story. I think I can guess the plot, too. After the tournament you can tell me if I'm right."

Yami nodded, relieved the duels were over and it was time to head out. He'd evaded enough questions for one day.

Yugi walked Anzu to her house. Yami went home and headed for their bedroom. Pegasus' envelope had lain in his pocket, unattended, all day. Yami opened it. A card fell out. It had never been seen outside of Kaiba Corporation or Industrial Illusions, before. Yami stared at it for a moment, then smiled and slid the card into his duel disk. He watched as Kaibaman sprang to life for the first time.

Pegasus might have lost his Millennium Eye, but the one that remained was an artist's... and it penetrated almost as deeply. Kaiba had taken on the charge to rebuild his life without the bitterness that had almost destroyed it. But it was possible that he'd never be completely free, that the victory would be in the struggle, not the winning. Kaibaman was laughing in triumph, blue eyes flashing below the absurd dragon-shaped helmet. But as with Kaiba himself, an undercurrent of rage simmered in his avatar, revealed by his clenched fists and by the defiant tilt to his head.

Yami put the card back in his pocket and went downstairs. Yugi came home and joined him in their living room. They glanced through their decks a final time. Neither planned to make any changes, but there was something comforting about the routine.

"Did you get a chance to talk to Kaiba?" Yugi asked.

"I don't plan on doing anything as mundane as talking. I want Kaiba's attention. Only a duel will do."

"That should be easy to arrange. You know Kaiba's going to be hoping you win so he can swoop down and challenge you."

"Dueling _against _Kaiba isn't the answer. I know Kaiba wants his rival back. I need to know if he wants a partner as well."

"Like a tag team duel? Hey… if we both make it to the finals, we could do it! You and Kaiba against me and Jounouchi!"

"No! This was going to be our duel, Yugi. You've always been the stronger duelist. This will prove it… not just to the world, but to you as well. I can't take that from you."

"Confidence doesn't come from a duel, Yami. I don't need to duel you or win Kaiba's tournament. And I don't think you do, either." Yugi grinned. "Besides, I intruded on your relationship, without even realizing it. It seems fair to let Kaiba barge into our duel. And this way, Jounouchi can be part of a final, too."

"Thank you." Yami smiled. "Then I think it's time to issue a challenge of my own."

Yugi stood up. "We have to get up early tomorrow. We have a new destined duel."

"Destined?"

Yugi's smirk managed to look sweet as well as smug. "How do you know this wasn't your destiny from the beginning?"

Yami laughed. "Go to bed. I need to make one last change to my deck."

Whether it was skill or fate, Yami won his semi-final match the next morning. Yugi beat Jounouchi to advance as well. After a break, the Bronze Medal duel was next. It was a rematch of Jounouchi versus Mako. Yugi breathed a sigh of relief when Jounouchi won. Jounouchi flashed them a grin and a thumbs up sign.

"I'm not sure I could do that," Yami admitted.

"What?" Yugi asked.

"Be happy with third place."

Yugi didn't think Yami could do it either, so he waved to Jounouchi in place of an answer. "We have a couple of minutes. I'm going to fill Jounouchi in. I told Isono to give us some time before announcing the final," Yugi said.

"And he agreed?"

"We're the winners, right? Isono knows as well as us that if there's anyone Kaiba will cut some slack for, it's someone who just won a duel."

Yami nodded. "You have a point."

Yugi went to talk to Jounouchi. Yami glanced around to find Kaiba staring at him from the raised platform along the border of the arena. Yami couldn't resist smirking and making an "I'm watching you" sign with his fingers. Kaiba's eyebrows disappeared even further into his bangs.

Yugi ran back with a nod and a grin.

The duelists had been outfitted with slender, black headset microphones. The mouthpieces had been fashioned to resemble each duelist's favorite monster. (Kaiba's, of course, was silver and in the shape of the Blue Eyes White Dragon.) Yami now turned his microphone on, strode to the center of the arena and pointed to Kaiba.

"We have a challenge of our own to issue… A tag team duel: you and me, Seto Kaiba, taking on Yugi and Jounouchi. Are you going to advance or retreat?"

Kaiba jumped down from the announcer's platform, his coat flaring out behind him with the force of his plunge. He landed as lightly as a cat and walked over to Yami.

The crowd gasped as they came to stand together. Yami had worn his new gold-splashed blue, cream and leather outfit. Kaiba matched him in a long, flared, blue coat with a high collar. The lining as well as the leather collar, placket and cuffs were black with embossed gold geometric dragons. Leather pants and a black turtleneck completed the ensemble.

Yami turned the sound off on his microphone and added, "Do you want _me?_ Or do you just want your rival back at the top of his game? Because in that case I have two words for you: mission accomplished!"

"I'm glad. Nothing else compares," Kaiba said.

"Enough chit-chat. Yes or no: can you be Seto Kaiba _and_ have a partner?"

Kaiba smiled, clicked his microphone on and turned to shout his answer to the crowd. "I accept your challenge." He turned the microphone off and added, for Yami alone, "I will always accept your challenges. And what better proving ground than the dueling field?"

Yugi and Jounouchi came up to them.

"Remember," Kaiba said, "turn your microphones on to announce your cards and off if you want to talk privately to your partner."

"I know how a microphone works you stuffed shirt!" Jounouchi announced. He grinned as his words echoed across the stadium. "And I knew it was on when I said that. Now I'll turn it off so I can tell you what I really think of you without having to worry about the kids in the stands learning new words!"

The crowd laughed. Yami yanked Kaiba back to their end of the dueling field.

Isono stepped forward hurriedly to announce the start of the duel. He reviewed the rules as if they hadn't been made up on the spot.

The duel started with Mokuba in Kaiba's corner as usual. Isono pretended not to notice as Anzu, Honda and Bakura snuck down to stand on the sidelines between the two teams, unwilling to publicly pick a favorite between their friends.

Kaiba had to admit (if grudgingly) that Yugi and Jounouchi made a good team. They combined Summoned Skull and the Red Eyes Black Dragon instantly, almost effortlessly, creating Black Skull Dragon, the first powerful monster of the game.

Kaiba ground his teeth in frustration as his and Yami's monsters fell victim to Black Skull Dragon. Even when Yami and Kaiba been closer to enemies than rivals, even when they'd stood at the beginning of the road that had led to friendship, they'd always been a formidable – even unbeatable – team. But now that Yami had asked and Kaiba had answered, that fragile sense of partnership had vanished. After a couple of turns, Kaiba could see the writing, stark as graffiti on a tomb wall. Yami was treating him like a child with his first deck.

Kaiba drew his next card and summoned Swordstalker. He was weaker than Black Skull Dragon, but Kaiba could afford the loss of life points. Kaiba deliberately left the monster face up on the field. He glared as Yami played Call of the Earthbound, drawing the inevitable attack to his own monster.

"Stop doing that!" Kaiba hissed.

"I just saved your life points from dropping further. You're welcome."

"Did I ask you to?"

"I'm trying to show you that I care what happens to you!" Yami retorted.

"By trampling my strategies before I can set them up?"

"Maybe if your strategies weren't always so reckless, it would be easier to tell them apart from your general taste for destruction!"

The crowd stared, distracted by the sight of Kaiba and Yami snarling at each other. They couldn't hear the words, but the glares and gestures were telling enough.

"Oh great," Anzu sighed. "I think they've forgotten that as far as anyone in the arena knows, they've never even met before this tournament!"

"Damn. That's right. All these people think that this is Yami's first tournament," Honda said.

"With any luck, given how often Kaiba yells at people, no one will find anything odd," Bakura offered.

"Maybe." Honda frowned. "Why does he always have to pull this crap, anyway?"

"Who? What?" Bakura asked.

"Kaiba. It's like he saves everything up and then lets go at the worst possible moment."

Bakura bit his lower lip in place of an answer. He knew what it was like to have feelings so great and terrible that you were afraid to drop your guard lest they escape and rampage through your life. And the harder Bakura had tried to contain them, the more they'd seeped out around the edges, until he'd been left marooned in the middle of a toxic swamp of his own making.

A cheer went up from the crowd. Almost unnoticed, Yugi had called Fiend's Mirror to the field. Swordstalker wasn't made to show fear, but there was an increasing wildness to his lunges and thrusts as he battled his unseen foe. With each frenzied movement, he was dragged closer to the vortex at the center of the mirror until he disappeared with a flash of his golden blade and a hastily choked off cry. The crowd shuddered as a sucking sound filled the stadium. Kaiba shrugged as his life points dropped. Once again, Kaiba's and Yami's side of the field was bare of monsters when Yugi and Jounouchi ended their turns.

Yami gestured to the field then back at Kaiba. "Do you have even the faintest idea of how this team thing is supposed to work?"

"I don't need you to protect me or to shove me aside and handle things for me."

"Then what do you need me for?" Yami had intended the question to sound sarcastic, but it came out raw and husky, instead.

Kaiba's smirk flashed out, quick and cutting as a knife. "Who says I need you?" He paused, then added quietly, "I do want you, though. I know all about need. Wanting, though… I'd like to learn more about that one."

"I was reborn through Yugi's need. It's hard to imagine an existence past that. But being wanted by you... that sounds enticing." Yami drew in a breath. "It's time to duel. I was trying to fight for you. Now, I'm ready to fight at your side."

"Let's see if you mean it," Kaiba said as he placed Damage Eater on the field. With its weak 100 attack points, Kaiba was set to take a massive hit to his life points.

Yugi stared at the face down cards Kaiba had just placed on the field after setting his monster. "This seems really reckless, even for Kaiba," Yugi said to Jounouchi. "It might be a trap."

Kaiba grinned and equipped his monster with Negative Energy Generator.

"Either that or he's finally flipped." Jounouchi scratched his head. "Why'd he waste a powerful spell card like that on Damage Eater? Kaiba tripled its attack points, but three times 100 is still only 300. Hey! I bet Kaiba's forgotten about us and is too busy trying to score points off Yami to notice we're his opponents. And in that case, I vote for making him pay!"

Yugi hesitated and then nodded. Kaiba's restiveness was apparent to everyone in the stadium. And Kaiba wasn't known for protecting his monsters or his life points.

Kaiba glanced at Yami. Yami was waiting patiently for Kaiba's next move. Kaiba was suddenly reminded of their tag team duel during Battle City. Yami had yelled at him to put aside his anger, to stop, to think. And then Yami had done something that no one had ever done before, something that Yami had done all too rarely since: Yami had given Kaiba the time he'd needed. Kaiba smiled, remembering how Yami had stood in his office while Kaiba had set fire to his own desk, how Yami had hung on behind him on his motorcycle while Kaiba had raced through the streets outrunning the words that had never made sense anyway.

And Kaiba realized that as pissed off as he'd be if Yami tried to save his ass one more time, he'd be disappointed if Yami let him go down without a fight.

"One more card," Kaiba said hoarsely, sliding Respect Play into his duel disk.

"Ah man… one of us has to show Kaiba our hand." Jounouchi grumbled.

"Not us," Yugi said, as Kaiba turned to face his partner.

Yami's smile lit up his face. "I gave you that card."

Kaiba nodded. "I'd never realized how apt the name _Respect _Play was before you gave it to me." Kaiba glanced at the cards in Yami's hand. He recognized the Devil's Sanctuary. It was slightly worn. It was an original edition, the colors slightly more muted than in the re-release. It had once been Kaiba's.

"You plan to play it, don't you," Kaiba said. It wasn't a question.

Yami set Devil's Sanctuary face down and placed a monster on the field in defense mode. "I told you our souls crossed on that day. And I never plan to untangle them again."

Jounouchi called on Black Skull Dragon to attack. Yami turned over Devil's Sanctuary.

"Damn!" Jounouchi shouted as his life points dropped suddenly. Jounouchi restored 1,000 of them with Dian Keto and grinned. "Hey… if they're finally getting their act together, we're in for one awesome fight!"

Kaiba had given up wondering if Jounouchi was leaving his microphone on deliberately or if he kept forgetting he wasn't speaking to himself. Either way, the crowd hollered their agreement.

Yugi attacked with a monster of his own.

Kaiba turned over Defense Draw, saving his life points from harm. "Strategy, Yami." He summoned Rude Kaiser and placed another monster in defense mode.

Yami grinned. "I hope you don't mind if I borrow one of them," Yami said as he sacrificed Kaiba's Rude Kaiser along with his Big Shield Gardna.

The crowd gasped as the Dark Magician of Chaos leapt out of a swirl of black and purple smoke. He leveled his staff as a weapon, then held himself in readiness, a predator poised to strike.

"Nice," Kaiba said.

"I thought you'd like it."

The Dark Magician of Chaos stood in front of Black Skull Dragon, a small bright splinter against that enormous bulk. He was still 400 points weaker than the dragon before him. The magician bowed to Kaiba, then used his power to call Kaiba's Negative Energy Generator back from the graveyard, tripling his attack strength. The Dark Magician of Chaos glanced back at Yami. They traded matching smirks.

Yami's smug smile faded as he turned from his monster to face Kaiba. "You set that up… you made sure you got Negative Energy Generator into our shared graveyard so it would be ready for me, didn't you? Even before you looked at my hand, you knew the Dark Magician of Chaos was waiting. I underestimated you. I'm sorry."

Kaiba had once told Yami that he didn't need Yami's apologies. It was one more thing that had changed.

But before Kaiba could react, Yami's voice regained its familiar, stern tone as he added, "It was still a stupidly reckless move. It's not a victory unless you're here to see it with me."

"Don't lecture me unless you're willing to follow through as well."

Yami's trademark smirk returned. "Deal," he agreed. He called on the Dark Magician of Chaos to attack.

"Not so fast!" Jounouchi called out as he slapped a card in his duel disk. "Time for some Dungeon Dice!"

Two giant, stylized six-sided dice bounded into the arena. Yami rolled a die and groaned as a "2" landed face up and Dark Magician of Chaos lost 800 attack points.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Jounouchi exclaimed as he rolled a "6," doubling Black Skull Dragon's attack points to 6,400.

"I've never seen someone so happy to lose life points before," Kaiba observed as the Dark Magician of Chaos' attack brought down the hulking dragon in front of him.

Both Yugi and Jounouchi shared the battle damage from their fusion monster's defeat. But if Kaiba and Yami were hoping to capitalize on Black Skull Dragon's demise, Yugi and Jounouchi were quick to thwart them.

"Your Dark Magician of Chaos might have a gazillion attack points, but it's only got 2600 on defense," Jounouchi yelled as he slammed Shield and Sword into his duel disk. "And presto-chango, now they got switched!"

"Too bad that ridiculous Blackwings you just summoned can't match either," Kaiba observed.

"That's okay," Jounouchi said smugly. "Yugi has just what we need, don't you buddy?"

"One fusion monster coming right up!" Yugi said as he tributed the necessary monsters to bring Gaia the Force of the Earth to the field. Just as quickly he combined it with Jounouchi's synchro monster to power up to Gaia Drake the Universal Force. "Gaia Drake, attack!"

"We'll have to see about that," Yami said, turning over Imperial Order, switching the attack and defense points back to their original values.

"Yeah, we will," Yugi said with a smile as he turned over Curse of the Royal, erasing Yami's trap card.

The fight was briefer than the counter moves that had preceded it. The Dark Magician of Chaos vanished in another swirl of purple and black smoke. Yugi set another monster in defense mode and ended his turn.

"Good move!" Yami called out to Yugi and Jounouchi. "It's not a surprise that two such good friends would play together well," he told Kaiba.

"Is this where you start telling me that I should be more like Yugi, again?" Kaiba muttered.

Yami smiled. "No. I think we should be more like ourselves."

"You mean like this?" Kaiba said, throwing Brain Control and Self-Mummification on the field. At first it seemed like an unequal contest. Kaiba's mummy looked too weak to cross the arena, much less defeat Gaia. But with each step he took, strength and health seemed to leech out of the warrior. His armor rusted and dropped in riven shards, revealing a wasted skeleton. As the mummy breathed on Gaia, they both crumbled to dust.

Yami remembered how miserable he'd been when he'd given Kaiba Self-Mummification; he'd been completely convinced that he'd ruined things irrevocably. "Did you put all the cards I gave you in your deck?"

"Wait and see. Of course when I put them in, I expected to be scorching your ass with them right about now…"

"It's a good thing that life is unpredictable," Yami countered.

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. Magnified by the microphone, the sound bounced off the roof of the stadium.

"I hate it when he does that," Anzu muttered from the sidelines.

Kaiba flipped his monster face up to destroy Yugi's. Yami summoned Curse of Dragon.

Jounouchi drew a card and let out a whoop of triumph. A moment later, the KC ST-1 Stealth Fighter appeared overhead, a sentient, mechanized bird of prey. The crowd had greeted each monster's appearance with shrieks and roars. Now a shocked hush blanketed the arena as the plane hovered over Kaiba, a silent hunter returning to its home.

Kaiba stood in its shadow. His eyes glittered. "Very good. I would have done the same… capitalize on the recent news in the hope that the reminder would knock me off my game." Even with Kaiba's microphone turned off again, Jounouchi could hear his accusation.

"Are you nuts? I wouldn't do that!" Jounouchi yelled.

Kaiba didn't answer, unless rolling his eyes counted.

"Kaiba! Stop!" Yami exclaimed.

"Of course you'd leap to your friend's defense." Kaiba's jaw was so tightly clenched the words could barely slip out.

"You said you wanted a partner, not an echo. Jounouchi's not capable of that kind of calculated cruelty and you know it."

"Hey, guys, remember us?" Jounouchi asked, turning his microphone on and waving his arms. The crowd had fallen silent at the plane's appearance. They had started to whisper among themselves as they watched a conversation they couldn't hear. At Jounouchi's words, they leaned back in their chairs and laughed.

Jounouchi turned off his microphone and walked forward so that Kaiba could hear him. "Was I trying to talk trash with my cards? Damn straight I was, the same way you call me a loser dog a dozen times a duel. But anything more… no way. I'll prove it." He glanced at Yugi who smiled and flashed him a thumbs up sign. "I place my monster in def..."

"Don't you dare!" Kaiba roared loudly enough to be heard without a microphone. "It was a good move. Don't devalue the game by taking it back."

Jounouchi nodded. The KC ST-1 Stealth Fighter struck, annihilating Kaiba's monster. Once again, the crowd fell silent.

Yugi hesitated. He set his Celtic Guardian on the field. Kaiba had no monsters left to protect himself; his life points were wide open. Yugi pressed his lips together and nodded. He was going to play the game just as Kaiba had demanded.

"Attack Kaiba directly!"

"I don't think so," Yami said as he flipped over Damage Vaccine. He turned to Kaiba. "I'm not letting you lose life points. Not on this turn. Not against that plane."

Kaiba managed a terse nod. He swallowed and unclenched his jaw enough to say, "Thank you. I can take it from here. If there's one thing I'm learning, it's how to take apart my own technology."

Kaiba slid Living Arrow into his duel disk. He joined it with Curse of Dragon and launched the monster at the image of stealth plane he'd once created. Curse of Dragon was destroyed on impact, skeletal bones flying apart and falling to the ground. Kaiba didn't glance at the counter on his disk, didn't acknowledge the loss of his life points. For Living Arrow had found its target, burning its way through the plane, devouring and destroying it from the inside as the crowd watched and roared its approval. The fiery remnants rained down on the dueling field; they were realistic enough to make the spectators flinch. Kaiba watched, unmoving.

Something had changed in the duel. It grew stronger with each turn, with each attack and parry. Yugi glanced from Yami to Kaiba and looked away again. Yami and Kaiba had always been attuned to each other, even at their worst. Now they were in sync and it was almost embarrassing watching them. Even in the crowded arena, it made Yugi feel like he was peeking through a bedroom window. Then Yami glanced over at him, as if they were still connected and Yami could still read every thought in his head. Yami smirked and winked.

With each turn, with each loss of life points, with each monster sent to the graveyard, the end of the duel drew nearer. Kaiba had always gone into his duels supremely confident, as if his triumph was preordained – not by destiny – but by his own indomitable will.

But what if trying wasn't enough? This wouldn't be the first time victory had been snatched from Kaiba's grasp just as his hands had started to close and hang on tight.

"Kaiba?" Yami asked.

Kaiba stared out, unseeing. The cheering crowds, Isono, even his opponents and their monsters had disappeared. All that remained was Yami on Pegasus' tower calling the attack that would end Kaiba's life; Yami at Battle City, discarding Kaiba like a tool that had served its purpose, to chase after Jounouchi; Yami telling Kaiba at Alcatraz how disappointed he was; Yami walking out on Kaiba in his own office, not even bothering to slam the door as he left.

"Kaiba! What's wrong?" Yami repeated.

"Do you remember telling me at Alcatraz that I lost because I needed to defeat my own demons, first? What if it's still..."

Yami waited.

"What if we…" Kaiba scowled. "Never mind."

Yami paused and considered his next move. "Kaiba, this duel can't be measured by a score. There's a life beyond the duel's end. We're going to face it together, even if we start that journey with a loss."

"Do you mean that?"

"With all my heart."

Kaiba still looked troubled, but he gave a quick nod and turned back to face the field, braced for the next attack.

Jounouchi played Monster Reborn to revive his Red Eyes Black Dragon.

Yugi frowned at the look of absolute determination on Kaiba's face. He was suddenly struck by the knowledge that as much as he liked Kaiba and wanted to be his friend, Kaiba had never made sense to him, not the way Jounouchi or Honda or Anzu did.

Could Kaiba really be looking on this duel as a signpost for whether he and Yami deserved to be together? Yugi straightened and studied his hand. If Kaiba was weighing his future against this duel, Yugi was going to give him a battle worthy of the stakes.

Yugi summoned Meteor Dragon to the field, fusing it instantly with Jounouchi's monster, creating the Meteor Black Dragon.

Almost as quickly, Yami turned over Negate Attack and Kaiba played Swords of Revealing Light.

"I love it every time you throw down one of my cards," Yami murmured.

"You gave me the perfect card. I need time to make sure I draw it. Will you wait for me?"

Yami turned his microphone on with the kind of theatrical flourish he usually reserved for drawing cards or slamming them into his duel disk. "Listen to me and listen well, Seto Kaiba. Always. I trust you."

Kaiba's smile could be seen from the highest seats. "Good. I plan to hold you to that."

Yami added, for Kaiba alone. "Nothing would please me more."

After Yugi and Jounouchi's turns, Kaiba drew a card and sighed in relief as he played the Magical Apprentice of Illusion, calling Yami's Black Magician out of his deck. He set another face down card.

Yami drew a card. His sly grin reappeared. "Perfect. I'm returning the favor." He slid a card into his duel disk.

Kaibaman strode into the center of the arena, in all his ridiculous glory.

Kaiba tossed his own head back and took a step forwards, hands curling into fists to match his avatar.

The crowd exploded with laughter.

"What the hell?" Kaiba yelled, staring at his namesake. "We're still arguing whether to distribute those cards. Why the fuck is it in your deck?"

"I like him. I think he's cute." Yami looked at Kaibaman's mane. "Look at his hair. You should consider growing yours to match." Yami laughed at Kaiba's outraged expression. "Come off it, Kaiba. I know you have a Blue Eyes White Dragon in your hand. I can feel it."

"You high-handed son of a bitch!"

"Yes." Yami dropped his voice. "And you love it." He turned over Kaiba's Polymerization. "I don't think our monsters ever merged before."

"I'm ready to take that chance. Are you?" Kaiba asked, his voice carrying to the top of the stands.

"Eager," Yami affirmed just as loudly. "It's time to join our future."

The space between the two teams was filled with a swirl of stars and night as if the constellations themselves were colliding. The crowd leaned forward, eager for their first glimpse. Then the night dispersed and their voices came together in a single gasp.

The Light and Dark Mage stood, highlighted by the still shining stars above him. Too stern for an angel, he stood still as a statue carved from ebony. Then he unfurled the shining silver wings of a dragon. In one hand he held a magician's staff, in the other a curved sword, sharp and gleaming as a talon.

Yami turned to smile at Kaiba.

"Beautiful," Kaiba murmured.

"Indeed," Yami answered, still looking at Kaiba.

The Light and Dark Mage leapt forward with a dragon's grace and force, his wings lending speed to his charge. He leveled his staff. Blue lightning engulfed Meteor Black Dragon. The dragon disappeared in a tangle of rain and stars and lightning.

The match was over.

Somehow, Isono was the first to reach Kaiba and Yami, holding their hands in the air as he declared them the victors. Yugi and Mokuba were a step behind. Yugi flashed Yami his impish grin, the kind of innocent and mischievous look that Yami never could have mastered.

"I'm glad for you. It certainly was a convincing victory!" Yugi said as he embraced Yami, briefly.

Mokuba crashed into Kaiba, yelling, "You won, Nisama!"

"Wow! What a wild finish!" Jounouchi called out as he came up to Yugi. His hug lifted the shorter duelist off his feet.

Kaiba glanced over Mokuba's head at Yami, blue eyes for once uncertain. Kaiba scoffed at most things in life. But he did, in some obscure, too uncomfortable to be defined way, believe in duels and in heeding their message.

"Did you know?" Kaiba asked Yami, leaning forward to be heard over the tumult of the crowd.

"How the match would end? No. But I had absolute faith in your answer. We won the moment you said 'yes.'"

Kaiba managed a smile and a head-duck. It went unnoticed by the cheering crowd. But Yami saw and flashed Kaiba an answering smile of his own before his attention was reclaimed by Jounouchi and Yugi as they all moved towards the exit.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for keeping track of where everyone was, when everything was happening, for encouraging me to keep going, for listening to me whine about cards, duels and writing (I actually whined about those things in reverse order) and for betaing this chapter.**_

**ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: ** Thanks to Splintered Star for helping me figure out how Kaiba could jump out of a plane without a jetpack and for advice on everything relating to technology or engineering. Thanks to Setofreakinkaiba on tumblr for answering my dueling questions. I want to emphasize that all mistakes in these and all other areas are my own.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** I'm sorry for the long delay. Sometimes real life gets in the way.

**Dueling Notes:** It always surprises me that there's not an official fusion monster for the Dark Magician and the Blue Eyes White Dragon; it feels like there should be one, somehow. One thing I love about Yu-Gi-Oh! Is the way the duels, and even the cards played, help to carry the story. I tried to recreate that sense here, where the duel itself became a mirror for Yami and Kaiba's relationship and what has to happen for it to work. The rules of the tag team duel are listed below. They stress unity and mutual support because that reflected what Yami was trying to accomplish. However, I also wanted to show a difference between the easy way in which Jounouchi and Yugi called up fusion monsters and the more complicated back and forth of spell and trap cards used more heavily by Kaiba and Yami.

**Living Arrow Note:** You can't really fuse Living Arrow (Spell Shattering Arrow) with Curse of Dragon… but I couldn't resist the nod to Duelists Kingdom where Living Arrow is fused with Mammoth Graveyard to bring down Kaiba's Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon. I wanted to keep the same image of destroying something from the inside, only this time have it be a symbol of Kaiba's determination to destroy the weapons he had a hand in designing and maybe to burn away the events that led to it.

**Tag Team Rules:** The members of each team can use spell or trap cards to summon cards from each other's hands, from each other's deck or from a shared graveyard. Either partner could use spell or trap cards to protect or enhance any of the team's monsters. A one to two sacrifice rule was in effect for higher powered monsters. (I sometimes just said summoned for what would be a tribute summon for the sake of brevity.) Either partner could call an attack with a fusion monster created by the combination of their monsters – but the monster could only attack once per shared turn. If the fusion monster was defeated, each partner got half of the battle damage.

_Note to A.D. Thank you so much. It was encouraging getting your review!_

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal and Dreamwidth accounts. My username is Nenya85 in both places.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) I try to write the story in my head to the best of my ability – but it's incredible to get a glimpse of how it looks to someone who's reading it. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review.**_


	29. Barefoot in the Park

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 29: BAREFOOT IN THE PARK**

BAREFOOT IN THE PARK: Romantic Comedy, circa 1967. A time capsule of a movie starring an almost-unrecognizably young Jane Fonda and Robert Redford as the newlywed Corie and Paul Bratter. What could go wrong with two people so obviously made for each other? Well… besides the moment when you realize that even if you love someone, you still have to find a way to learn to live with them.

_MORAL: Sometimes a couple's strength and weakness can be summed up with the same two words: opposites attract._

* * *

Yami swept away with his friends after the duel, leaving Kaiba standing on the sidelines with Mokuba and Isono. The duel may have produced a revelation with each turn of the cards, but the aftermath was utterly familiar. Yami was surrounded by friends; Kaiba was already immersed in his next set of plans.

Yami glanced at Yugi, unsure which one of them to pinch, unsure what to do with the sudden need to confirm that they really were in two separate bodies, that this was his life... that as much as this moment felt the same as all those other moments after all those other duels, everything had changed.

His next glance was for Kaiba. Yami watched his rival reel off a series of instructions. It was another reminder. By this point in all their former duels, Yugi had reclaimed his body. Yami had never been able to look backwards before.

Kaiba joined him briefly in an anteroom that had been set up for the media. Kaiba was strangely subdued through the inevitable post-duel interview. Yami talked about the power of unity while occasionally shooting pointed glances Kaiba's way. The only thing that drew a laugh from Kaiba was the reporter's comment, "You sound just like your cousin, Yugi Mutou!"

Kaiba dashed away as soon as the interview was over. Yami was escorted out by a Kaiba Corporation employee. Yami rejoined his friends in the luxury suite. It had been turned into an exclusive party room. The duel had clearly been a success – for Kaiba Corporation at any rate. Personally, as the night wore on, Yami wasn't as sure.

Yami glanced at the door again. Their press conference had ended hours ago. He hadn't seen Kaiba since. Yami wondered when – or if – Kaiba planned on attending his own party.

Ever since their return from Egypt, Kaiba had sworn that he was never asking Yami for anything… not for a duel and certainly not for intimacy. Now Yami had asked instead. Maybe that action had satisfied whatever need Kaiba had carried with him through these last few weeks, like a video game that had been played to completion and was now awaiting a reset to clear the memory cache.

The duel had ended with their victory, but Yami suddenly realized that he had no idea what winning looked like to Seto Kaiba, what he'd hoped to gain. Whatever Kaiba wanted, it certainly didn't seem to be Yami.

Yami turned back to the crowd. Everyone was having a good time. Yugi was beaming. Anzu had been consoling him ever since the duel had ended, alternating between hugging him and covering his face with soft kisses. She hadn't noticed that Yugi broke out into a grin every time she lifted her face from his and crushed him between her breasts.

Jounouchi had played his best; he was used to finishing just out of the winner's circle. His exuberant cry of "Just wait 'til next time!" burst out at odd intervals. The tournament had brought together all their old friends. Now that the tension of the duels was over everyone was hanging out, eating Kaiba's food and catching up. Even Weevil Underwood and Rex Raptor were there, familiar annoyances.

Yami was sick of it all. He hadn't noticed how far he'd drifted from his friends until Yugi came over.

"Damn him," Yami muttered.

"Kaiba? What's he done now? We haven't even seen him for hours."

"That's exactly the problem. I thought everything was going to be different. But Kaiba's back to being his usual run and hide self," Yami grumbled. "Why say all those things during our duel, why play those cards if he was going to retreat the first chance he got?"

"To be honest, I've never figured out why Kaiba does any of the things he does," Yugi confessed. "But if he hasn't shown up by now, he probably isn't going to. Don't worry. You can straighten it all out tomorrow." Yugi yawned. "C'mon, Yami. Forget Kaiba. All our friends are here. And we still owe Mai an explanation – or at least the chance to gloat about how she guessed it all along."

As if on cue, Jounouchi came over and threw an arm around Yugi and Yami's shoulders, linking the three of them together. "Just wait 'til next time!"

Yami laughed as he let Yugi and Jounouchi lead him back to their circle. But he was relieved when the party started winding down and it was finally time to go home. Kaiba was still absent. Yami was at the back of the pack when the gang reached the door. They paused and started to say their good-byes to Mokuba.

Yami hesitated. He could leave a message for Kaiba, he supposed, but what was there to say? He tried (and failed) to think of something that didn't sound petty or resentful... or needy… or hurt. Before the pause got too noticeable, Jounouchi saved him from his own indecision by throwing his arm around Yami's shoulder again, yawning and saying, "You know if you didn't have Ring of Magnetism, the duel might have…"

"Do you really think so?" Yami interrupted. "Remember that Kaiba had Defense Draw. And then I would have had the Ring of Magnetism a few turns later when you attacked Kaiba's monster instead of mine."

"Yeah, but I would have played…"

The argument lasted until they reached the sidewalk. Yami glanced back at the stadium. He'd not only omitted to leave a message, he hadn't wished either Kaiba brother a good night. Yami's jaw hardened. He turned back to his friends. Kaiba's actions had spoken more loudly than any words Yami could have uttered.

Kaiba didn't notice Yami leaving until long after he was gone. Yami had been in the background with Mokuba as Kaiba had darted out of the press conference. Kaiba had smiled vaguely in their direction, still too shaken by his victory to talk. He'd jumped into the dispassionate routine of business, recovering enough equilibrium to celebrate their victory by ignoring Yami while smirking his way through a series of business meetings and their associated conferences.

It was late by the time Kaiba reached the luxury suite. He congratulated himself on avoiding the common herd; the last guests were leaving. Yami wasn't among them. Kaiba frowned. He called Yami. It went straight to voicemail.

"Don't bother looking for him. He's long gone," Mokuba said, awake despite the hour.

"He didn't say anything?" Kaiba asked.

Mokuba hated the confused look on his brother's face. "Nope. He was too busy with his friends to bother."

"Was he mad?" Kaiba asked. Kaiba shook his head. He wasn't making sense and he knew it. He hadn't spoken to Yami all night, so how could he be mad?

"Didn't seem to be. He was laughing and arguing with Jounouchi," Mokuba said, hunching a shoulder.

"I don't get it. I thought… after our duel…" Kaiba's voice trailed off.

As little as Mokuba wanted to be the one to tell his brother, he wasn't going to chicken out now, not after waiting up all night just in case his brother needed him. "Sometimes duels don't mean what we want them to. Face it, Nisama, Yami already has a team of his own and they'll always come ahead of you."

Kaiba straightened up; his face shut down. "You better get home," he said.

"Are you coming too?" Mokuba asked.

"No. I have some things to take care of first. Isono will drive you."

Mokuba nodded and headed for the door. He got halfway there, then turned and dashed back to hug his brother tightly. "You're worth a dozen of him," Mokuba insisted before running out of the room.

Kaiba left the stadium. The adrenaline from the duel had faded. He stumbled a little on his way to the car. But drained as he was, Kaiba wasn't sleepy. If he went home, he'd just lay in bed staring at the ceiling wondering if Mokuba was right. (After all, Yami had walked out on him once before.) Going to his office and getting some work done seemed like the better bet.

It was dawn before Kaiba was ready to admit that the only thing left that required his attention was Yami.

Kaiba dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, then stretched and ran his fingers through his hair. It wasn't the same as a shower, but it would have to do.

Kaiba could almost believe in reincarnation because it felt like he and Yami had been going back and forth about friendship and trust for at least 3,000 years. He thought back to the helicopter ride to the pier at Battle City. He'd taunted Yami, asking how he expected to hold onto a sense of trust when his friends had turned against him. Kaiba had waited for the duel to provide an answer. Then Yugi had faced Jounouchi and the only answer in sight was that one of them would have to die.

And Kaiba had found he couldn't accept that answer. So he'd helped to make another.

Mokuba was sure that Yami had deserted Kaiba, that after daring Kaiba to be his partner, Yami hadn't cared enough to say good-bye, that Kaiba was never going to be good enough to be worth hanging around for. History had taught Kaiba that hope existed only to disappoint. But Kaiba refused to believe that Yami was that fickle, not after he'd jumped in a Death Simulation chamber. Kaiba had seen Yami's face. He hadn't done it as a strategic move or as a way of proving a point – although he was capable of both of those things. Yami had refused to let Kaiba face that room alone. Yami would never go back on that promise. Even after a night without sleep, even without knowing anything other than that Yami had left him flat, Kaiba wasn't ready to accept that answer.

It was time to get another.

Yami woke up to the sound of someone swinging a battering ram at the game shop door.

He stuck his head out of the window and shouted for Kaiba to be quiet before he woke the neighborhood, surprised to realize the racket had been caused solely by Kaiba's fists… or possibly his feet.

Yami shut the window. Yugi lifted his head from his pillow.

"Kaiba?" he mumbled.

"Yeah, go back to sleep."

"Okay," Yugi said, flopping back down on the bed.

Yami pulled the blinds shut and headed downstairs. "Most people use the phone," he said with pointed sweetness as he shut the door and stepped onto the street.

Kaiba held up his phone so Yami could see that he'd called.

"I turn the ringer off when I go to bed, remember?"

Kaiba wondered how Yami could make a conversation about keeping a phone on mute sound so sexy.

Yami shrugged. "I figured it was your turn to wait."

"You _are_ mad. Go ahead and yell and get it over with."

Yami shrugged. "What would be the point?"

Kaiba whitened slightly. Yami let him wonder if he'd managed to screw things up irrevocably this soon into the game. Then, as Yami watched, Kaiba's eyes frosted over. Kaiba was standing as stiff-backed as ever, but there was a brittle defensiveness to his crossed arms.

"All right, then," Kaiba said and turned away.

"Wait, Kaiba," Yami called. "Why are you here?"

"You left."

"Did you expect anything different?"

"Expect? No. Hope for? Well, it doesn't matter, does it?" Kaiba said, bleakly. He started walking towards his car. He couldn't see any point in abasing himself when Yami had already made up his mind. But then Yami called his name again, and the sound of it held him in place.

"You're right. I was mad," Yami said.

Kaiba took another step, then stopped, turned back to Yami and said, "Mokuba didn't think you looked angry. He said you were laughing and joking with Jounouchi. He figured you were too busy with them to remember to say goodbye."

It was, Yami realized appreciatively, an excellent strategy on Mokuba's part. It seemed that the younger Kaiba had passed his own judgment on their relationship.

Ever since his return from Egypt, Yami had been afraid of his vanished power to call up a penalty game. Now, Yami wondered if he'd created a new version, a game that required no mystical items or hidden powers to wound, a game whose only purpose was pain. Yami stared at Kaiba. Yami's eyes widened in horror at how well, how easily he'd played it. He took a step backwards as if he could walk away from his discovery.

Kaiba's sharp eyes picked up the movement. He took a step backwards as well.

Yami drew in a breath. Last night he'd wanted Kaiba to look like he'd felt: hurt and for once, unsure of himself. The morning was different. Yami had had time to remember just how ignorant Kaiba was of how people acted when they cared, how he'd walk in front of a bullet more easily than he'd remember a birthday. And Yami had had time to realize that he couldn't insist he wanted things to change and then continue to play the same games. He no longer wanted to see that blank look in Kaiba's eyes.

And yet, despite everything, bull in a china shop manner and all, Kaiba had come.

Yami caught himself before a smile overtook his face. There was only one explanation: Kaiba expected better from Yami; Kaiba wasn't willing to settle for being abandoned without a word. Kaiba believed in Yami enough that he wasn't going to accept that he'd been betrayed until he heard it from Yami himself.

Yami looked at Kaiba's crossed arms, at the way he seemed to be staring at a point somewhere around Yami's feet. He had to act quickly. Whatever reservoir of trust had carried Kaiba to Yami's door had been exhausted by the journey. Yami knew he was going to have to bring them the rest of the way home.

"I was mad… no, more than that… I was hurt," Yami said.

Kaiba looked up at the admission.

"You can't tell me in front of a stadium full of people that you're ready to be part of a team and then take it back the moment it becomes inconvenient."

"I didn't!"

"You left without a word. I thought you were putting all our promises away along with your deck now that the duel was over."

"That's not what happened! I had to discuss business after the duel. It's not just a game for me. It can't be. It's how I support Mokuba." Yami stared at him. After a moment, Kaiba ran his hand through his hair and said, "But I should have told you where I was going or taken a break or..." He shrugged.

"And I should have stayed to fight it out with you, rather than leave, after I promised never to walk away again." Yami winced. "After I promised to trust you. We're some pair aren't we?" he asked with a laugh.

It was plain from the slightly stupefied look on Kaiba's face, how little he expected anyone to understand the conflicting impulses that drove him. Predictably his expression hardened into a sneer.

"You don't have to play nice."

"I don't have to do anything. Neither do you. You didn't have to come to try to salvage things – and don't bother to deny that's why you're here. I didn't have to be honest in return. But here we are."

"Do you want me to apologize?" Kaiba asked.

"No. I think we both better quit while we're ahead."

There were dark circles under Kaiba's eyes; he was still in his clothes from the tournament. Yami thought of how often he'd wake up in the middle of the night to see Kaiba working at his computer. He suddenly remembered one of Kaiba's minions saying, on the night before Death-T, that Kaiba would stay awake until he finished a project and then collapse. Kaiba looked about two steps from falling over now.

Yami opened his mouth to suggest that Kaiba go home and get some rest.

"Why don't you come in?" he asked instead.

Kaiba gave him a brittle smile. "I've been in your shop. I don't think I've ever been asked inside the front door before… well, not unless everyone was drunk."

"I'm inviting you now," Yami said. He winced. It was one more thing he'd left undone in all the weeks he'd been sharing Kaiba's bed. Had Kaiba thought he wasn't good enough to be invited inside, like a guard dog that was handy when needed but too dangerous to be allowed indoors?

He wasn't surprised when Kaiba shook his head. Yami reached out and grabbed Kaiba's arm. He steered Kaiba into the house and to the couch. Kaiba sat down, then slumped over. He was asleep with his feet hanging off of the Mutou's sofa within five minutes. Yami murmured, "You really are a giraffe boy." He smiled, leaned over and brushed Kaiba's hair off his forehead. It flopped back.

Yami shook his head, still smiling. He went to find Sugoroku in the kitchen. The older man raised an eyebrow as Yami entered the room.

"Well, this was an interesting way to begin 'Respect for the Aged Day," Sugoroku said.

Yami was about to apologize when he caught Sugoroku's grin. "I'm sorry," he said anyway. "After the tournament, Kaiba went to work… he barely glanced my way, like he expected me to just be there when he finally was ready to notice."

"Mokuba's probably spoiled him in that regard," Sugoroku said.

"He was acting like he didn't care if I left. So I did. I knew he'd think I'd forgotten all about him. I thought he deserved it. I wanted to… " Yami paused.

"Push his buttons a little?" Sugoroku supplied.

Yami hung his head. "Yes."

"And he decided waking up the neighborhood was the best way to resolve things?"

"Sort of. But we can't keep treating each other like our feelings are part of a game. I don't want to make the same mistake twice."

"No. I agree. I think it's time for you to make some new ones."

Yami grinned. "Yes. I'd like to bring Kaiba over one evening – just like with Jounouchi or Honda or Anzu."

"He's not like them."

Yami stared at Sugoroku, his eyes almost as wide as Yugi's. He breathed in slowly and tried to remember all the things Sugoroku had done for him, how he was the only parent Yami truly remembered.

"I will respect your wishes," Yami said, trying not to feel disappointed.

"I'm not telling you that you can't bring him," Sugoroku rushed to clarify after seeing the look on Yami's face. "He's welcome here."

"I don't understand."

"You can't expect him to be like Yugi or your friends."

Yami's face cleared. A smile broke out. Having Sugoroku's blessing (even a partial one) mattered.

"I'm trying to do things differently, this time. I told Kaiba to come in this morning. He said he's never been invited past the front door except for…" Yami paused; he couldn't remember what Sugoroku had known about Yugi's party. "It was like I was living two lives. Kaiba probably assumed I was ashamed of him."

"You don't know that," Sugoroku pointed out.

"I don't know anything. That's got to change. I want Kaiba to get to know you and Yugi and all our friends. And I want you to get to know him."

Sugoroku paused, trying to find the right words. He'd assumed that if anyone was going to miss out on the basic points of being in a relationship it would be Kaiba and not Yami.

"Since he seems to be making a habit of breaking down my door to get your attention, I think he'll come. But he'll be doing it for you. Kaiba doesn't see the need for friends or a family beyond Mokuba. It's possible he never will. If you can't accept him for who he is, don't get back together. That's not fair to either of you."

"You think this is a mistake, don't you?"

Sugoroku frowned. Kaiba was a walking disaster, the kind of emotional train wreck that any conscientious guardian would warn against. Kaiba mistook decency for weakness, was far too used – from far too young an age – to ignoring anyone's opinion but his own, and, unless he was offering up his life as a sacrifice, had no idea how to act around the few people he cared for.

And it hadn't taken Yami and Kaiba long to get into another fight. But Kaiba had come after Yami. Unbelievably, he'd wanted to talk things out. Sugoroku sighed. "It doesn't matter if you're making a mistake. What's important is that you've earned the right to make it together."

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing the chapter and trying to ensure fair play.**_

**ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:** Thanks to GDDSSGRL for being so helpful in answering my questions on Respect for the Aged Day.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Even when we want things to change, we sometimes fall back into old patterns simply because they're familiar and comfortable and there. It's one thing to make a grand declaration in a duel and another to live it day after day. I didn't want there to be a bad guy to this, mainly because I think they all had a hand in creating the mess that neither of them wanted and that they ended up trying to resolve.

**Respect for the Aged Day:** this is a national holiday, held on Mondays to show respect for the elderly. Kaiba Corporation would be expected to do something in honor of the day. If the start of the story was in early August, with school starting at the earliest possible moment towards the end of August, the timeline actually works if you don't squint at it too hard. Since the previous two weeks were a day by day accounting of Kaiba's time, it felt odd to omit a holiday that would certainly impact on his schedule.

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Livejournal and Dreamwidth accounts. My username is Nenya85 in both places.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) I try to write the story in my head to the best of my ability – but it's incredible to get a glimpse of how it looks to someone who's reading it. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review.**_


	30. The Thin Man

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 30: THE THIN MAN**

THE THIN MAN: Mystery/Romantic comedy, circa 1934. In William Powell and Myrna Loy's capable hands, Dashiell Hammett's darkly comedic detective novel turns into the lightest and fluffiest of romantic soufflés. When Hammett's detective Nick Charles announces to his wife, "I'm too busy trying to see that you don't lose any of the money I married you for," you have a moment of doubt. When William Powell's Nick Charles says the exact same line, you laugh along, utterly secure in the knowledge that he doesn't mean a word of it.

_MORAL: The remake is always more romantic._

* * *

Yami and Sugoroku went back into the living room. Kaiba was still asleep with his legs hanging off of one side of the couch. The only change was that his right arm now dangled off the edge as well. Sugoroku shook his head. Kaiba looked younger with half of his face smushed against the couch seat, with his eyes closed, his lips slack and his features softened by sleep.

"I hate disturbing him," Yami said.

"He can stay here at least a while longer. His offices should be closed for Respect for the Aged Day." Sugoroku frowned. "Kaiba Corporation probably has some kind of celebration planned."

Yami nodded. "I'd better call Mokuba to find out his schedule."

Sugoroku squeezed Yami's shoulder and went back to the kitchen. Yami took out his phone and stared at it, suddenly remembering that Kaiba had given it to him – and throughout all that had happened, Kaiba had continued to pay the monthly bill. Had it slipped Kaiba's mind… or had Kaiba been trying to preserve a link all along, no matter how tenuous?

Mokuba's voice was still slurred with sleep when he picked up the phone. "You have some nerve calling me to find my brother. What'd he do, block you?"

"Mokuba, Kaiba's at my house."

"What? How'd you get him to forget you walked out on him?"

Yami sighed. "We seem to be better at dueling than at talking."

"Well, maybe you should stick to that, then."

"Mokuba, Kaiba's asleep. He was exhausted when he arrived."

"Duh! He's barely slept in days."

"I don't want to wake him, but I don't know what he has planned for today."

There was a pause. Mokuba's voice softened, although even the most optimistic of listeners wouldn't have called it friendly. "Our offices are closed but Nisama has a luncheon scheduled. He doesn't have to get up until 9:00 AM. I'll send Isono with the limousine."

"I'll let him sleep as long as I can," Yami said.

"Okay… and thanks," Mokuba answered.

Yami settled into a chair next to the couch. He didn't want to leave Kaiba. He had all the Kaiba Corporation games he'd been testing on his phone. Yami picked one and started playing.

He breathed a sigh of relief when 9:00 AM arrived. He stared at Kaiba for a moment, wondering how to wake him. Yami came around to the head of the couch.

"Kaiba, wake up," he said, quietly at first and then more loudly. "Kaiba! KAIBA!"

Kaiba jerked awake and started to roll off of the sofa. He caught himself, as a cat would, and sprang up into a crouched stance. His head swiveled, looking for a fight.

Kaiba blinked and straightened. "I fell asleep?" he mumbled, as if that wasn't obvious.

"I called Mokuba. Isono should be here any moment to pick you up. Mokuba has everything in hand."

Kaiba nodded.

"Do you want anything to eat?"

Before Kaiba replied, they heard the knock at the door. Kaiba shook his head. "I'd better go."

Yami came up to him, drew Kaiba's head down and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Get some more sleep after your luncheon. I'll contact you tomorrow. That's a promise."

Kaiba nodded again and went out to the waiting car.

It didn't take Kaiba long to shower, dress and return to Kaiba Corporation for the luncheon. The first year after Gozaburo's death, Kaiba had needed to prove how different everything was, and Respect for the Aged Day was no exception. He'd given his elderly employees games and technology. The presents had been received with politely expressed gratitude. The next year, he'd given the traditional presents of flowers and alcohol and had seen their faces light up as they'd said their thanks. There was, he supposed, a marketing lesson to be learned there, probably relating to pearls and swine.

It had been galling to settle for the formulaic, no matter how appreciated. This year he'd tried something different. He was no fool, he'd kept the alcohol in the gift bags, but he'd added something else. Kaiba Corporation reserved luxury suites at all KaibaLands for executives and special visitors, including the beachfront locations in Miyakojima and Guam. He'd given his elderly workers and their families an all expense trip for whichever of the Happy Monday weekends suited them, to be worked out in order of seniority. It was over the top and ostentatious, a flamboyantly in your face present. Kaiba had been satisfied.

His gift had been met with a total silence that would have been rude in any other circumstance. For a moment he wondered how he'd managed to get such a simple thing as a national holiday wrong, yet again. Then he realized that the silence of the old men and women in front of him was akin to his own in those moments when his thoughts refused to be herded into words.

"What made you think of it?" Mokuba asked when they'd finally stayed long for their exit to fit within the bounds of etiquette.

"You did."

"Me?" Mokuba broke out into a grin. "How?"

Kaiba smiled back. It was his first natural smile in a day filled with official ones. "If I asked you what you wanted most, what would you say?"

"To spend time with… oh, I see! That's so cool, Nisama!"

Kaiba had hoped to get through the rest of the day without a discussion of the night before, but as soon as they were in his office with the door shut behind them, Mokuba turned to face him and said, "I don't get it."

Kaiba couldn't keep moving to sit behind his desk, not after that, so he leaned against it instead and asked, "What?"

Mokuba jumped up to sit next to him. Mokuba slid his glance towards the window then back up to Kaiba's face and said, "Well… sex. Is it such a big deal that you'd get back with Yami for it, even now?"

Kaiba was glad that he'd learned to control his facial expressions years ago. Sex was amazing. A week ago, Kaiba had been in a Death Simulation Chamber... and the moment he'd pressed up against Yami, skin grinding hard against skin, he'd gone off like a defective munition. Something he had no intention of discussing with his younger brother, who was barely old enough to be thinking of sex, much less asking questions.

And as intense as the experience had been, it hadn't been the true lure.

"No," Kaiba said.

"Now I really don't get it. Why do you trust him?"

Kaiba paused again. He almost wished they were back to talking about sex. The one unarguable answer: "Yami ran into a death simulation chamber after me," was the one thing Kaiba could never say. The words, "death simulation chamber" would be all Mokuba heard. And he'd probably beg Kaiba to destroy it, and Kaiba couldn't. It was too precious to him, now.

When Kaiba didn't answer, Mokuba switched to asking, "Why does he matter so much to you?"

Kaiba shrugged. "He just does."

"Are you sure about this?" Before Kaiba could respond, Mokuba added, "Sure that this is what you want, I mean."

Kaiba exhaled in relief. At last Mokuba had asked a question he could answer. "Yes."

"He left last night without even finding you to say good-bye."

"I didn't look for him either." Kaiba ran his hand through his hair. "This talking thing is a mess. It's like trying to figure out the rules in the middle of the game."

"Well, you don't have to talk to me about stupid stuff like where you're going or when you'll be back," Mokuba announced, puffing his chest out a little.

Kaiba looked at Mokuba. His little brother dropped his eyes. "I could, you know," Kaiba said.

Mokuba bit his lip. "I guess it would be nice to know when you're going to be super-late. But only if you want to… or if you think of it or something."

"Deal," Kaiba said. He ruffled his brother's hair.

Mokuba felt obligated to protest at least a little. "Hey! Stop messing with my hair! I'm not a little kid, Nisama."

"You're the best vice president a brother could have." Kaiba couldn't resist patting Mokuba's head one more time as they got up to go home.

The next morning, Tamashiro brought Kaiba an envelope soon after he arrived to work. Kaiba nodded to Tamashiro, his face carefully neutral. He didn't understand why Yami kept sending cards. They'd made up. Kaiba waited until Tamashiro had left, then opened the envelope and fished out his prize. He stared at it a moment: Des Lacooda. Kaiba frowned. Yami had just sent him a possibly diseased zombie camel. It did let you summon another card. Maybe it was another message about second chances? Then Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. For once, Yami had settled for simplicity. Kaiba reached for his phone and called Yami.

"Hump day?" he asked.

"See you Wednesday," Yami replied.

"I'll be waiting." Kaiba's words weren't quite as breezy as he'd intended. Yami knew better than to notice. After a pause, Kaiba added, in his usual sarcastic tones, "And don't expect me to try to fit a zombie camel into my deck."

Yami's voice dropped to a husky murmur. Kaiba had to strain to hear it. "Believe me, Kaiba, my hopes for the night don't include camels."

"_Is he flirting with me?" _Kaiba thought. "What did you say?" slipped out instead. He'd regained control in time, but Kaiba's voice had never come closer to squeaking.

Yami's chuckle seemed to vibrate through the phone. "As much as I like watching you sleep, I'd rather have you awake, first. Let's make it a Wednesday that lives up to its name."

Kaiba's face flushed. He managed to mumble a good-bye before hanging up the phone. Kaiba glanced around, confirming he was alone in his office, even though he'd known that already. He couldn't imagine being on the receiving end of such a filthy comment… or how much he'd liked it.

Yami's first stop on Wednesday evening was Mokuba's office, but it was empty. He walked down the hallway to Tamashiro's desk.

"Long time no see," she said.

Yami didn't point out that she'd been at the tournament opening. "I'm back, now. Mokuba's not here?"

"He did have to go back to school eventually," she pointed out.

"I forgot," he admitted.

"Unfortunately for Mokuba, Mr. Kaiba didn't."

Yami laughed as he entered Kaiba's office for the first time since he'd stormed out two weeks earlier.

Kaiba was packing up to leave. He paused and then stood up, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He stared at Yami for a moment.

Yami was in a long, heavy black cotton shirt with a red plaid collar and sleeves. It snapped diagonally across from the left shoulder to just above the right knee, leaving a slight gap where the asymmetrical hem didn't meet. The entire garment was edged in gold. Slender black jeans with gold stitching and boots completed the outfit.

Kaiba smirked. "I see the fashion parade continues. What exactly are you wearing?"

"I believe it's called a shirt," Yami said with an answering grin.

"I know that!" Kaiba snapped.

Yami's expression turned thoughtful. "You were right. The clothes are unimportant. Making choices isn't." He gestured to the tunic length of the shirt. "It reminds me of Egypt, of the person I was back then. I'm done with dividing my life into before and after. I want it all."

Kaiba grunted. He'd divided his life into before and after, as well. And like Yami, he sometimes had trouble remembering the before.

"Anyway," Yami said, reclaiming his grin, "you're hardly one to talk about what anyone else is wearing."

"What's wrong with my clothes?" Kaiba stepped forward. His long dark gray and navy coat flared out as if it was powered by an invisible wind machine. The overhead lights caught the silver threads on the collar and cuffs. He looked, as usual, impossibly, imposingly, tall.

"Not a thing in the world," Yami said, moving forward to kiss him.

"Okay then," Kaiba muttered when he could talk. He turned back to his desk and grabbed his briefcase. "We have to pick Mokuba up. He's at a friend's house, catching up on schoolwork."

When they arrived at the mansion, Kaiba went to check on dinner and read his emails. Yami turned to Mokuba as they entered the living room. "I hope you don't mind your brother inviting me over – or my accepting. The last time we talked, you made your feelings clear."

Mokuba waved away whatever else Yami had been about to say. No way was he opening that can of worms, not while his brother was smiling again. "Forget it. My brother's happy. That's what counts, right?"

Yami frowned. "It's not the only thing that matters. This is your home too, Mokuba."

"Yeah, and I'm saying I want you to stay. Let's pick out a movie for after dinner. My brother won't care as long as it has special effects he can criticize."

"I understand Mokuba. I'm willing to settle for a truce. Take the time you need."

Mokuba looked at Yami, startled. He bit his lip then looked at the monitor on the wall, focusing on flipping through movie titles.

"No answer is required," Yami said gently. "Now are we better off picking a movie with good special effects or the reverse?"

Mokuba's lips twitched in an imitation of his brother's fleeting smile. "Let's go for the worst special effects we can find."

The rest of the evening passed more smoothly than Yami had expected when he'd walked in the door. Dinner was quiet but cordial; Mokuba clearly intended to live up to his end of the agreement. They settled on a couch to watch the movie. Yami smiled at Kaiba's running critique of the special effects.

And then the evening was over and Yami and Kaiba were back in Kaiba's bedroom.

"I'd like you to come over for dinner on Friday night," Yami said when the door closed.

Kaiba stared at him for a moment. "Why?"

"I'd like you to get to know Sugoroku better. And in all the times we dueled you probably never said more than a handful of sentences to Yugi. I'd like them to get to know you."

"Why?"

Yami drew in a breath. "Because they're important to me – and so are you. Because I'm not going to pretend you're not a part of my life. That's a losing game and I refuse to play it any longer. I want us to do better this time."

Kaiba frowned. Yami had put thought into this, had put thought into _them_. As far as Kaiba was concerned, Yami's conclusions were frankly ridiculous, but it was surprisingly seductive, having someone care. It seemed to have conferred an obligation on him as well, to live up to Yami's ideals. That was okay, Kaiba decided: obligation was something he understood.

Kaiba shrugged. "You've got a deal. It's not like sitting in a roomful of people who have every reason to hate my guts will be anything new."

"You can't possibly believe that Yugi hates you."

Kaiba's bark of laughter was short and bitter. "I concede the point. Yugi doesn't hate anyone. It's one of his more annoying traits."

"Neither does Sugoroku."

Kaiba shrugged again. "I can't imagine he's happy with the situation."

Yami drew in a breath, knowing he was stalling. While Sugoroku hadn't been _unhappy_, he'd hardly been elated by the news – or by the prospect of inviting Kaiba over. "He wants what's best for us. He wants us both to be happy."

"A pair of wonderfully ambiguous sentences," Kaiba said with a smirk.

"Stop it! Of course he's concerned. Anyone would be given the last couple of weeks. Mokuba is barely talking to me. But I think Sugoroku likes you – probably better than you deserve."

Kaiba's lips parted slightly. He snapped his mouth shut to erase even that tiny show of doubt.

"Who cares what the old man thinks? He's eager enough to take my business. I notice he didn't object when I put him on my advance distribution list."

Yami couldn't believe how angry he was, just as if the past few days hadn't happened, just as if he hadn't decided that this was what he wanted, what he was willing to fight for.

"Kaiba!" he yelled. "That was unworthy of you!"

Kaiba stiffened. "I shouldn't have insulted your… family for lack of a better word."

"It's the perfect word," Yami said. "And you're wrong about Sugoroku."

The efficiency of Kaiba's gestures never ceased to amaze Yami. Kaiba had managed to issue a challenge with the quirk of a slender eyebrow.

"Has it ever occurred to you, genius, that Sugoroku knows what you're trying to do?"

"And what is that?" Kaiba scoffed.

"Atone."

Kaiba had been tense before; now he was completely still.

Yami pressed his advantage home. "Have you ever considered the possibility that he's _letting_ you?"

"No. I hadn't," Kaiba admitted after a pause.

"Then maybe you should spend some time with him before you decide you know everything."

Kaiba shrugged. "Mokuba's seeing a school friend on Friday. I have to pick him up by 10:00 PM."

"Perfect. I think we can manage to eat dinner by then."

Kaiba smiled, a quickly erased twist of his lips. "Okay."

The words, "It's a date," hovered in the air, unspoken. They both looked down, then sideways, then finally at each other.

"I've missed you," Yami said, taking a step forwards.

Kaiba nodded. "I'd have forgotten what you look like in my bedroom, except that you were the first thing I saw every time I closed the door behind me at night."

Yami took another step, then another. He reached up, pulled Kaiba's head down to his and kissed him. Kaiba's lips parted. Kaiba slipped his fingers under the edge of the snaps at the collar of Yami's shirt. With a swift motion, he ripped them open. He'd wanted to do that all evening.

Yami smiled in response, a teasing, playful upturn of his lips, then brushed the jacket off Kaiba's shoulders. He undid Kaiba's tie, although he left it hanging like a blue cord around Kaiba's slender neck. Yami unbuttoned the pale blue and silver patterned shirt, exposing Kaiba's chest, then reached up to play with one nipple.

Kaiba moaned, held motionless by Yami's hands and by a combination of desire and a hidden panic. They'd done this before. Hell, they'd done it in the confines of a death simulation chamber, with holographic monsters ready to destroy them if they blinked, if their concentration broke for even a moment. Kaiba hadn't trembled then. Why was he shivering now?

Yami's hands gentled, his kiss grew softer, comforting as well as seductive… or possibly the seduction lay in the comfort it offered.

"Why are you doing this?" Kaiba asked, his voice hoarse.

"What?" Yami purred.

"Acting like I'll break if you grip too hard."

"I'm afraid," Yami admitted.

Kaiba stared at Yami. Kaiba was used to pushing aside any fears that dared to raise their heads, as though he could starve them into submission if he ignored them resolutely enough. And here Yami was, acknowledging out loud something that Kaiba had never confessed even to himself.

"I'm afraid of us breaking. I'm afraid wanting won't be enough," Yami said.

Kaiba's grip tightened. Yami met his gaze steadfastly, understanding the stakes. His eyes held Kaiba's, refusing to blink first… until Kaiba understood that Yami was admitting his fear because he'd found something stronger.

"What's the good of wanting if it doesn't drive you forwards?" Kaiba said. "I want you. I want this. Whatever happens." Kaiba yanked Yami even closer, stunned by the jolt of desire that shocked through him at their shared admission.

It was the one thing that Yami had never thought he'd ask, but the word slipped out. "Promise?"

"Of course."

"Then promise to accept it when we mess up… when you slip into old habits because they're as familiar as one of your trench-coats. And I promise to struggle right here with you. I'm done running… from you… from myself… from life."

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. "Then what are we waiting for?"

Kaiba let Yami lead him to the bed by the ends of his tie. He allowed Yami to push him back onto the mattress. If he wanted to start anew, he had to admit that he liked it – and not because it was a pure physical sensation or because it was only fair to let Yami even the score. The truth was simpler and much more shameful: he felt wanted, he felt cared for, and he'd give anything to feel that way again. Kaiba shuddered.

Yami's arms tightened in response. "Kaiba?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Yami hugged him until the shivering stopped. "Then we don't have to."

Yami kissed him. That strange gentleness was gone. They were back to their old selves, rolling over every inch of the mattress beneath them, knotting themselves in their clothes in their haste to shed them, straining against each other, all hesitancy gone as if it had never been.

Almost.

The echo of it remained.

It lingered in the way Yami leaned forward to kiss Kaiba softly, almost chastely, on the lips, as if they weren't both sweaty and hard and eager for more. It lingered in the way Kaiba stared at Yami, his blue eyes unfathomable in their intensity, as the meaning of the phrase, "making love" finally bored its way through his consciousness.

And then Yami reached for Kaiba again, impatient and fervent and demanding and all the things Kaiba wanted him to be. And Kaiba was as fierce in response, all focused grace and quicksilver moves, powerful and fast. He was everything Yami had remembered, had dreamed of through the time apart. He was everything Yami had missed.

Kaiba and Yami were fighting their way to this merger... each harsh groan and bruisingly tight grip and jerking grind and thrust of their bodies proof of how totally the battle was joined. It was a mindless rush towards completion, a tangle of arms and legs and sheets. It was a clash with a rhythm all its own, harsh and pounding and true… a union with all the rough and tumble of life itself.

With a final cry they collapsed on the bed. Kaiba moved to collect Yami in his arms, to hold him tight. He sighed in contentment; his breath ruffled Yami's hair. Yami chuckled and nuzzled Kaiba's chest.

Kaiba stared at the ceiling, occasionally, almost meditatively, stroking Yami's hair. Kaiba could have listed all the physiological reasons for the calmness that had settled on the room: the sudden release of neurohormones and endorphins, the temporary decrease in the metabolic activity of large parts of the cerebral cortex, muscle relaxation following the contractions of orgasm itself, the rise and subsequent drop in blood pressure to normal levels. But as with most things involving Yami, Kaiba could categorize and sum up the data to his heart's content, yet the true answer remained out of reach. Lying in bed with Yami in his arms, Kaiba was at peace… a commodity made precious by its scarcity.

They slid apart during the night. Yami had half-expected Kaiba to have another nightmare, but he was the one waking suddenly in the middle of the night, sweating. Yami sat up and gasped for air, his breaths harsh in the darkened room.

Kaiba was instantly awake. He sat up and pulled Yami back into his arms. "What is it?"

"I was slowly suffocating in darkness… as if I'd been forced into the Puzzle, aware this time of the endless hours… without air to breathe." Yami shuddered. "I'm here. I'm here."

"Of course you are."

The casualness of Kaiba's words and tone was belied by the fierceness of his grip. Yami clung to both.

"Thank you," Yami said.

"I told you once that if you had a nightmare you could just reach over and I'd be here."

Yami nodded against Kaiba's chest. "I was alone. I was nothing." He shivered. "And I'd been alone for so long."

Yami looked up at Kaiba's sudden intake of breath. "The whole time in the Puzzle… I wasn't aware of the slow march of time, of the empty, endless days. I wasn't even aware of my own imprisonment. But somehow, I remember being alone. And then I was with Yugi. He was part of my every thought; we shared every breath either of us took. As long as I held on to him, I wasn't alone. And that was all that mattered." Yami raised a hand to stroke Kaiba's face, to caress his cheek. "It's different for you, isn't it? You found safety in isolation."

"I found safety in letting it be all I expected."

"And now I have to learn how to be with someone without being a part of them. How to be a little bit, but not too much, alone," Yami said softly.

Kaiba made a rumbling noise. Somehow it sounded more encouraging than his usual grunt. They lay back down. Kaiba wrapped his long arms around Yami, then threw his leg over Yami's thighs, anchoring him to the bed, as if daring even a nightmare to come between them.

Yami's smile turned impish. Kaiba's gesture was too fierce to fall under the heading of cuddling. But for someone who had once found safety in isolation, Kaiba was becoming remarkably adept at hugging Yami to him and holding on. As Kaiba's heartbeat lulled him to sleep, Yami couldn't help but be reminded of two duelists, walking across an arena to meet in the middle.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!**_

**ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: ** Thanks to GDDSSGRL for being so helpful in answering my questions on Respect for the Aged Day.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** I really liked the idea of Yami trying out being flirtatious and sexy – and Kaiba getting flustered completely out of proportion to what Yami had said simply because he has no experience with anyone saying anything suggestive to him at all. Then again, this is a guy that analyzes his physiological reactions to orgasm, so...

**Respect for the Aged Day:** this is a national holiday, held on Mondays to show respect for the elderly. Kaiba Corporation would be expected to do something in honor of the day. Traditional presents from an employer would be along the lines of fountain pens or flowers or alcohol. Kaiba's present was ridiculously over-the-top compared with traditions, but Kaiba _is_ ridiculously over-the-top and I could see loyalty being something he would want to reward on his own terms.

_**Note to Anon-04:**_ Thank you! I'm really trying to show a natural evolution both in their feelings for each other and in their own individual development.

_**Note to Guest:**_ Thank you for reviewing. I would certainly agree that any writer, myself included, has plenty of room for improvement.

**Tumblr Note:** I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

**Review Note:** I reply to all signed reviews. I also post a summary of my replies on my Dreamwidth account. My username is Nenya85. Please note that I will no longer be posting on LiveJournal.

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) I try to write the story in my head to the best of my ability – but it's incredible to get a glimpse of how it looks to someone who's reading it. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review.  
**_


End file.
